Dreams. I was dreaming.
A dream that never faded. A dream that repeated. A dream that wouldn't end, a dream that couldn't be ended — .
Layered over and over. Started again and again. Failed time and again. Corrected time and again.
Woven a thousand times. Connected ten thousand times. Surpassed a hundred million times. Before long, I stopped counting.
There was pain, and shock, and confusion, and ruin, and hatred, and madness.
Worn down, shaken, twisted, decayed, forced to wail, heart shattered.
And yet — there was still a place I wanted to reach.
And yet — there was still a wish I wanted to protect.
Even if no one else knew the shape of the tragedy that repeated and layered itself — so that I would not forget.
Even if no one else noticed — so that I, at least, could never forget.
— Even if the person I wanted to save was crying, I would save them.
That was why, even now, I had no regrets about taking that hand.
If there was anything I regretted, it was my own weak, fragile heart — a heart that fell short of steel — that had hesitated and wavered at the act of taking that hand.
--- When I woke from the empty dream, the first thing I always felt was a dull headache.
"———"
Fighting the grip of sleep, I opened my eyes and blinked several times to bring my consciousness to the surface.
A hazy fog still clung to my awareness, but the sluggishness in my blood circulation lasted only a few seconds. My consciousness quickly peeled away from sleep, and wakefulness restored vitality to my body.
"Aa— aah..."
Complementing that physical awakening, the sound that leaked from my mouth was a drawn-out, listless voice.
At a glance it might look like someone still drowsy, but this too was an important part of the morning ritual. Lying on my back and making sounds like this allowed a flood of information to pour in.
The tone of my voice. The establishment of self-awareness. Whether my limbs were intact. Organizing my memories. The running of my daily routine. Whether I was alive or dead — .
By performing these same actions every morning without fail, I could verify all of it.
That was proof — proof that
"Fwahh..."
With a yawn, I threw off the blanket and sat up by swinging my legs down.
Scratching my head roughly as I looked around, the sight that greeted me was a familiar room — the interior of my private quarters, furnished with reasonably opulent appointments and a canopied bed.
However, Subaru had not woken up in the canopied bed. He had woken on the sofa at the far end of the room, curled up under a blanket. That was his recent sleeping habit — no, his sleeping habit for the past several years.
That said, there was no great reason behind sleeping outside of a proper bed.
He was simply doing whatever he could to prepare even a slightly more comfortable environment to rest in. Through that trial and error, he had learned that sleeping on the sofa brought him more relief than sleeping in a bed.
Since then, that was how he did it. That was all there was to it.
"———"
Rubbing his eyes, Subaru climbed down from the sofa that served as his bed and headed to the washroom to get himself presentable. In the washroom adjacent to the bedroom, he washed his face, then stared at his own reflection in the mirror with careful scrutiny.
A face still tinged with fatigue. Eyes that suggested a vague sense of exhaustion. Slacker-ish, slack cheeks — the combination left him looking thoroughly disheveled and spineless.
To tighten up that appearance, Subaru slapped both his cheeks hard with both hands.
The stinging pain brought tears to his eyes, and he splashed cold water on his face to wash them away. Then he looked at his reflection again, kneading his expression — his gaze, his cheeks — with painstaking effort, and muttered: "Smile. If you can't, die."
Casting the spell of his own making, Subaru then twisted his mouth into an unsightly, ugly grin.
The bared teeth and squinted sanpaku eyes made up a smile that was his own wicked face — a face he had known for over eighteen years. Eyes, expression, complexion — the disguise was functioning without issue.
"Alright, alright. Hold it."
Confirming the smile in the mirror, Subaru dried his face with a towel and began changing his clothes.
When spending time in the mansion, Subaru's attire was not a servant's uniform but the formal dress of a nobleman of reasonable standing. Still, he had discarded the stiff outer coat and rolled up the sleeves of a white shirt, letting the whole thing sit loosely on his frame. Even so, such outwardly appropriate dress was now demanded of him as a matter of course.
All of it felt suffocating, but it was what it was. Dressing befitting one's station was an obligation — and it was a station Subaru himself had sought and obtained.
"Almost that time again, huh..."
Finished changing, he glanced up at the magic crystal mounted above the door and murmured.
Its deep green glow indicated that morning had arrived and his scheduled waking hour was near. It seemed he had spent a bit too long on the smile-formation this morning.
In a few minutes, the punctual girl would knock on the door right on schedule.
Before that, there were things he needed to finish.
"———"
Shifting his focus, Subaru unbuttoned the front of his shirt. There, suspended by a thin chain, hung a pendant that had not been removed even while he slept — a "black crystal."
Grasping the uncannily gleaming black crystal in his palm, Subaru closed his eyes.
The cold, hard touch of the crystalline stone — the moment it was enveloped by his palm, it seemed to gain heat and presence, as if alive, and began to pulse.
A strange heartbeat generated naturally in his palm. His unconscious mind began counting its rhythm and frequency.
Beating faster and harder than his pulse after a full sprint, the crystal continued its relentless pounding. Before long, that pulsation overlapped with Subaru's own heartbeat, and the beating of his heart and the throbbing of the crystal became equal.
When his brain understood that, Subaru's consciousness was released from the stocks of his flesh and drawn into a different space where reality could not reach.
Instantly, sound and presence vanished from the world, replaced by a blinding light that engulfed his consciousness.
"———"
Consciousness drowned in light — slowly guided toward awakening.
When he opened his closed eyelids, the light pouring down was sunlight that stung his eyes. And what spread before his blinking gaze was an enormous grassland swept by the wind.
Wide. A boundless expanse of green stretching on forever.
A sea of grass extending as far as the eye could see, clusters of low grass swaying gently in a soft breeze. Overhead, a cloudless blue sky shone clear, and the sunlight pouring down glittered like jewels.
The blue of the sky and the green of the earth continued endlessly, meeting in a faint convergence at a distant horizon. There was a silence befitting this dreamlike world drained of all sense of reality — a silence that felt eternal.
Vast, crystalline, empty space. — And in that world, there was one part that did not belong.
"———"
Standing at the center of the grassland, when Subaru turned around, just behind him a gentle slope rose up, leading to a small hill.
Atop the hill was a modest garden, and beside its delicate flowers stood a parasol catching the light, along with a white table.
"———"
Without a word, Subaru climbed the hill and slipped beneath the parasol.
On the white table sat a cup still steaming, filled with a warm, amber-colored liquid.
Two cups had been laid out, with white chairs placed on either side of the table.
One was prepared for him — and without even confirming this, Subaru sat down in the chair and lifted the seemingly freshly brewed cup to his lips, moistening his throat with tea.
— As always, it tasted neither good nor bad. A strange, indistinct tea.
But drinking this tea first, without fail — that was the promise he had exchanged with the owner of this place. A greeting between them in their peculiar relationship.
However — "Aah, drank it, drank it. Thanks for that. Now let's get to the real topic, yeah?"
"——Well, it's true I said that the first sip serves as a greeting. But that certainly doesn't mean you can skip the greeting entirely, you know."
After draining the tea and practically flinging the cup onto the table, Subaru spoke his piece. Across the table, the person facing him smiled faintly and lodged a complaint.
At those words, Subaru scratched the tip of his nose with a finger and said: "...Why would I need a greeting? You're watching inside my head twenty-four seven, so whether we meet or part, it's all meaningless to you anyway, right?"
"That's a completely different matter. And for the record, I'd appreciate it if you'd stop with that atrocious phrasing about me peeping at you around the clock. Even if it were true, I'm at the age where even a flower would blush. If anyone found out I was staring at a boy I'm interested in nonstop, think of how that would look!"
"A flower-would-blush maiden — has the definition of that phrase changed without my knowing?"
"How cutting. Well, claiming to be a maiden might be a stretch at my age..."
With that, the other party's mouth curled into a cheerful grin, the complete opposite of the complaint she was lodging.
The well-worn banter — the other party was remarkably tolerant of Subaru's impudent attitude. More than that, she seemed to genuinely enjoy even this kind of verbal sparring.
Being smiled at like that stirred a twisted sense of guilt in Subaru's heart.
But he had no idea how to approach this person correctly. Every method he might use to find the optimal way of dealing with her simply didn't work on the one person standing before him.
"You really are a hateful woman, huh?"
"I'm glad to hear that. For you — gentle and greedy as you are — I would rather be someone you find hateful, someone who wounds your heart cruelly and drives in a wedge that can never be removed, than become just another pleasant nobody unworthy of your hand in salvation, or an indifferent person you wouldn't bother saving."
Her years of practice meant that neither sarcasm nor barbs had any effect on her.
At that reply, Subaru made a sour face and snorted — which only delighted her further.
"Well now. I'm starting to genuinely feel bad about making you dislike me. Why don't we move on to the purpose of this morning's meeting?"
"You didn't want to be disliked?"
"Just a girl's cute bit of bravado, that's all. I'd like you to be perceptive enough to see through it and accept it."
"Cute...?"
Tilting his head with genuine skepticism, Subaru got a wry smile from the other party.
And then — "You really are someone who fears nothing, no matter what. That's what I find appealing about you, as the '
That the contractor had become worthy of her — the "Witch of Greed" narrowed her eyes with a radiant, genuinely delighted smile.
--- "Today is the fourteenth day of the month of Kišdam. ...That's correct, right?"
"You can rest easy. You fell asleep last night without incident, and woke this morning without incident. No worst-case scenario has occurred overnight. There's no need to worry."
"Don't be ridiculous. I've actually fallen asleep thinking nothing was wrong, only to wake up dead. No amount of bracing yourself is enough when you never know when or where you'll die."
Clicking his tongue at the witch's optimism, Subaru recalled the "death" in which he had tasted a sense of devastating loss.
A tomorrow that had simply arrived without preamble, a tomorrow he had never doubted would come — stolen without any warning, a sudden "Return by Death," and the fact that the people he had been close to had forgotten everything. The terror and despair that had wrought — he could never forget it.
"You're right. That was careless of me. I apologize."
"...You're awfully honest today?"
"If I think I was wrong, I apologize. I've been trying to show you that I'm not such an unreasonable woman, you know."
When Subaru reacted defensively with a guilty look, the girl in black winked at him.
When describing this girl, the first things that caught the eye were a bewitching beauty that seized both gaze and heart — and the staggering fact that this beauty was expressed in only two colors.
Long, snow-white hair fell to her waist, and a slender, supple body was wrapped in a black dress like mourning attire. Seated with long legs crossed, there was a decadent allure to her posture; and the way her thin lips swallowed the liquid from her cup was eerily captivating.
It was a perverse beauty — one that instinct told you, if you touched it carelessly, destruction would be inevitable — and yet the legend persisted that challengers had never ceased to attempt it. She was the catastrophe-bringing Witch who brought about endings.
This was the true identity of Echidna, the all-white girl dressed in black, with whom Subaru had entered into a contract.
"——Staring."
"——? What's the matter? Why are you staring at my face so intently? Is there something on it?"
"Yeah. Eyes, nose, mouth, ears, and hair."
"...I don't know why. You're stating the obvious, but I feel oddly insulted."
Frowning at Subaru's response, Echidna wore a dissatisfied expression. Subaru raised his hand and said "wait, wait": "I didn't mean to insult you or anything. I was just thinking that for a witch, you're not that shocking once you actually meet you."
Despite having used words like "decadent" and "perverse" earlier, actually talking with her revealed someone who was, aside from a few eccentricities, a fairly easygoing — even normal — girl.
Of course, he wouldn't deny that she had her twisted witch-like side.
"Oh my, that's quite a rare opinion."
At Subaru's assessment, Echidna's lips curled with a kind of amusement.
She set her cup on the table, recrossed her long legs, and brushed back her white hair.
"I do have a reputation for leaving behind all sorts of legends across the land four hundred years ago, you know. To have someone capture me and call me 'normal' — that's quite something."
"You sound like a middle schooler begging to be treated as special."
"If you add 'by you' to that, you'd be much closer to my feelings. But it's not just that. We already discussed this the first time we met, remember?"
"Ah, right. Something about how, if someone has no tolerance, they'd take one look at me and vomit?"
"If you take that out of context, my character is going to be seriously misunderstood."
The dignity of a witch giving way to a pout — Echidna looked disgruntled at Subaru's reply.
Subaru placated her with a "there, there" and steered the conversation back on track. That said, the content was more than sufficient for a morning routine.
"We can't just keep shooting the breeze. I need to get back to reality."
"Leaving already? You could stay a little longer. No one would complain, you know. As you're aware, time spent here doesn't affect the real world. If it provides comfort, I'm happy to provide as much of it as you want... I'm counting on that, myself."
As Subaru stood and stretched, Echidna tried to dissuade him.
At the witch's honeyed words, Subaru cracked his neck bones and said: "You're right. Honestly, I know staying here longer would be a relief, but..."
He cut himself off, turned, and looked down at Echidna.
The witch's black eyes and Subaru's black eyes locked together, intertwined.
But — "I have no intention of going soft on you like that. You should know that the contract we made wasn't for that purpose."
"Truly, you're so stubborn. I'm the only one in this world — the only accomplice — who can share your suffering and grief."
"——I have no intention of handing my suffering or my grief to anyone. That's mine alone, and keeping it mine alone is the reason we made this contract. Isn't that right?"
Echidna shrugged with a pout on her face. Subaru answered in a low voice with absolute finality. At his words, Echidna lowered her gaze and silently lifted her cup to her lips.
It was a gesture that said she had no words of rebuttal, and no reason to continue the conversation.
Watching that, Subaru turned his back to her and took a step toward the base of the hill. But before descending, he stopped and turned back to the witch.
"By the way — you didn't deny the part about watching me twenty-four seven, did you?"
"...I believe I said 'if,' didn't I?"
"The context of saying 'even if it were true' implicitly confirms that it is true. That's what my language skills tell me."
"———"
"———"
At Subaru's insistence, Echidna let out a soft breath. She sipped her cup again. It was a gesture that said there was no reason to continue the conversation — and — "Don't tell me you think I'll back off if you do that. When there's an actual ethical problem, you stop peeking, right? Right? You do, don't you?"
"Of course. I'm not so vulgar as to peek at you bathing or using the toilet. However, I also think that as your contractor, I cannot turn a blind eye unless I'm certain nothing will happen during those defenseless moments. This is simply the sense of duty of the 'Witch of Greed,' faithfully observing the terms of our agreement..."
"From now on, I'm taking off the pendant when I enter the bath and the toilet. Got it."
Subaru cut off the witch's rapid-fire excuses with that remark, then descended the hill while suppressing his embarrassment.
At the base of the hill — at the spot where Subaru had first appeared in the grassland — a door had appeared at some point. A standalone door, the only entrance and exit to the outside world.
"———"
Arriving at the door and placing his hand on the doorknob, Subaru glanced back almost reflexively.
There, atop the hill, Echidna stood with her wind-tossed hair pressed down, looking somewhat forlorn as she gazed at his back.
Noticing his upward glance, she hesitated briefly, then gave him a small wave. Without returning the gesture, leaving only a sigh in his wake, Subaru stepped through the door.
— And in that instant, the consciousness that had been imprisoned in the dream world was released, and he returned to reality.
"———"
When awareness returned to the world, Subaru was standing bolt upright in the center of his room, still clutching the black crystal.
He let out a long breath and looked at the magic crystal above the door. Green. No change in its glow.
The time spent in the dream world amounted to mere seconds in real time. That was his proof.
"Man, I never get used to this..."
Visiting the dream world and spending tea time with Echidna was a daily morning ritual.
But the dissonance created by the gap between perceived time and actual time upon returning to reality — that was something his brain simply could not grow accustomed to. It was different even from "Return by Death."
As Subaru sighed at this realization, a voice came — *'Why not try reversing your thinking and getting used to what you're not used to? It's only a small comfort, but it might make things a little easier, you know?'* As if whispered right at his ear, the voice of the witch he had just parted ways with reached him.
It hadn't actually been whispered in his ear. The voice traveled through the crystal stone hanging from his neck, carrying the witch's thoughts via their contract. Even without visiting the dream world, Subaru and Echidna were connected through their pact.
From there, the witch could address Subaru directly.
However — "I told you not to talk to me casually when there's no business to discuss."
*'There's no one around. I don't think you'd be punished for paying me a little attention when you're alone in your room.'* "What if someone overhears me and thinks I'm one of those losers talking to invisible people? Ever think of that?"
*'You already have that reputation, I think. Besides, spirit users often communicate with their contracted spirits through thought transmission. Talking to yourself isn't that unusual.'* "Spirit users communicate with each other via thought waves. In my case, you transmit thoughts and I talk to myself. From the outside, I look worse."
*'Fine, fine. As you wish, I'll stay quiet unless it's necessary. Really, trying to order around a witch — you're quite the domineering one, aren't you?'* *'I... told... you... to... cut... it... out...'* *'Good grief. Should you require anything, don't hesitate to call upon me, dear contractor.'* Adding a touch of anger to her tone, Echidna left with those theatrical words and withdrew.
Still, the witch was no doubt watching through the pendant — but for now, Subaru filed that thought away and let out a sigh that had long since become habit.
From now on, he'd make sure to shove the pendant into his back pocket whenever he used the bath or the toilet — and just as he was thinking this — "——Subaru-sama, are you awake?"
A knock came at the door from outside, announcing the usual wake-up time.
At the gentle voice, Subaru gave a small cough to clear his throat. Then, placing a hand on his cheek, he mentally prepared the smile he had practiced in the mirror, and called out in a listless "morning" voice.
In response, the door slowly opened, and a single girl stepped into the room.
"Good morning, Subaru-sama. It's a pleasant morning again today."
The one who spoke with a smile was a girl in a maid uniform —
Once just a young bud when they first met, she had entered her growth spurt and was now in the process of blooming beautifully. Compared to before, she had grown taller, her arms and legs had lengthened, and the adorable maid uniform suited her better than ever.
Her deportment and conduct were no less impressive than her charming attire. She had always been a quick learner with sharp instincts, and the current Petra had reached a first-class standard as a maid.
At fourteen — fully grown up now — Petra's smile was met by Subaru's own.
"Morning, Petra. Pleasant morning... I couldn't agree more. Getting to see Petra's cute face first thing in the morning, I'm completely satisfied."
"There you go again, Subaru-sama, saying things like that... But the sky beyond the woods is clouded over, and the weather might turn after noon. We're planning a shopping trip in town today, so I hope it stays sunny."
Petra tilted her head slightly and glanced toward the window, a faint trace of childishness still lingering in her words. Subaru suppressed a chuckle.
"Oh no, Subaru-sama."
"Sorry, sorry. The shell of the perfect little maid cracked for a second there. That's so like you, Petra."
"Really, please stop treating me like a child. I'm completely grown up now. I've been doing maid work for two years... I'm a full-fledged professional."
Shaking her auburn hair, Petra blushed and pouted. Looking at this adorable little sister figure, Subaru kept smiling and ruffled her hair.
Petra closed her eyes happily at his touch, then let out a wistful sigh.
"So, what would you like to do this morning? It's still a bit early for breakfast..."
"Ah, just go through the usual routine first. If everyone seems okay, we'll eat together. If things look rough... just the usual."
"...Yes."
Petta's eyes dimmed slightly at Subaru's answer, and she looked troubled. It was hard to see such a look on a cute girl's face, so Subaru scratched his head and said: "Anyway, thanks for today. For going out of your way to come wake me up."
"———"
"Petra?"
"Subaru-sama, you're really... so clumsy at this."
Petra evaluated Subaru's clumsy attempt to change the subject with a sigh of exasperation. Then the girl shook her head, broke into a radiant smile, and said: "No, this is my job. Besides, you never oversleep, so it's very easy. ...Though it would be nice if you were a little more hopeless sometimes."
"Hm?"
"It's nothing. Well then, see you later. Excuse me."
Having completed her daily duty as Subaru's alarm clock, Petra curtsied neatly, lifting her skirt, and left the room with Subaru seeing her off.
The door closed. Subaru nodded with satisfaction at how much Petra had grown.
"Petra's really become something. I'm proud as her big brother figure."
*'She doesn't think of you as a big brother figure, you know.'* "......Didn't you just promise to stay quiet unless it was necessary? Guess a witch doesn't value her word."
Having her monologue answered back was too much — Subaru was exasperated at the witch's lack of patience. But after letting out a resigned sigh, he looked toward the door where Petra had disappeared and said: "She's my little sister. And Petra is my precious, precious little sister figure. So I'm going to make sure she's happy. — That's final."
*'To make sure she's happy — absolutely. ...Come to think of it, that might be a terrifying thing to say.'* At Subaru's hard tone, Echidna said that without any attempt to joke.
Letting the witch's words wash over him, Subaru gave a light stretch and left the room.
The mansion's corridor was chilled with the bite of early morning. Subaru shivered as he cut through the cold air with his shoulders and walked forward.
— Because there was the daily "ritual" he had to get to.
--- For the past several months, the mornings at the Roswaal mansion had been the stage for an intense "killing match."
Though the participants themselves might object to calling it that.
To Subaru, watching from the sidelines, the exchange was nothing if not a "killing match."
In truth, at least one of the two combatants was unquestionably coming at the other with intent to kill. But sadly, the other party brushed aside that ferocious fighting spirit with ease.
The difference in their strength was painfully, obviously overwhelming to anyone.
That was precisely why such a dangerous daily routine was allowed to continue every morning.
"Rrr— AAAAH—!!"
A roar. A kick that exploded with enough force to blast away the lawn of the courtyard.
The golden shadow drove forward, gaining tremendous momentum, and raked beastly claws down at its target.
A strike that would rip through thick iron plates, that could effortlessly turn a human body into mincemeat — the claws became a storm of countless strikes, tearing through the air to seal off every avenue of escape.
However — "Too bad. Your openings are huge."
"Gah—!!"
The shadow dodged the lethal storm of claws with the bare minimum of movement. Then, with a single cry, a long leg kicked upward, and the beast's torso was pierced from below.
The blow drew a cry of agony, launching the attacker's body straight up — "Guh, foo—!!"
— or so it should have gone. But it didn't.
The body launched skyward was met by a descending heel strike, slamming it back into the ground. The impact carved a circular crater into the turf, and the beast lay spread-eagled, completely silent and unable to move.
"Shall we continue?"
"— Ah, oo..."
The victor asked the groaning loser if they wished to continue.
It was not mockery or sarcasm — words directed purely at their fighting spirit. And for that reason, they cut the loser's soul to the core.
So — "You might not realize it, but all that does is rub salt in the wound. Just call it mercy and let them off."
Having butted in on a scene whose outcome was already decided, Subaru scratched his head and spoke. The young man who had been looking down at the figure splayed on the ground turned around with a grin.
The red-haired young man raised a hand to Subaru: "Hey, morning, Subaru. Early again today."
"Not as early as you guys. But seriously, every single day — don't you ever get tired of this? Or bored? ...You don't have to humor him this diligently either, you know, Reinhard."
"His ambition to become stronger isn't wrong. And the fact that he grows stronger day by day is reality. I'd say before long, he'll be catching up to me."
"Really? ...I can't quite picture that, though."
The red-haired young man — Reinhard's words carried no trace of either joke or modesty.
At his self-assessment, Subaru squinted one eye and looked at the figure still lying on the ground.
There lay a boy with short golden hair.
He was gasping in pain, still in no condition to fight, but the fighting spirit blazing in his green eyes had not dimmed at all. However, his body refused to obey his will, and he could only grind his teeth in frustration.
Understanding that frustration, Subaru extended a hand to the boy.
"Come on. Can you stand, Garfiel? Don't feel too bad about it. After all, you..."
"...Don't you go touchin' me all casual-like. I don't need your damn help to stand."
Garfiel, the golden-haired boy, bared his fangs and swatted away Subaru's offered hand.
But his bravado was plain to anyone. Pain was etched deeply on his face, and his breathing was ragged. Still, Subaru couldn't bring himself to be so callous as to mock that false front.
He lightly shook the arm that had been swatted away, and as Garfiel pushed himself to his feet, Subaru sighed and said: "Fine, have it your way. But at least rinse off the sweat and mud before breakfast, or
"...Ngh. Don't need you to tell me that."
Shaking his head at Subaru's rebuke, Garfiel stood with a grimace. His knees were still trembling, but not so badly that he couldn't walk.
With that remarkable recovery power, Garfiel got to his feet and glared at Reinhard, who stood there looking coolly unperturbed.
"Next time — I won't lose."
"I look forward to it."
There wasn't a trace of falsehood in Reinhard's answer. Garfiel snorted. Then the limping boy passed by Subaru, casting a sideways glance — "— Tch."
— and clicking his tongue with undisguised vexation, he stalked back into the mansion from the courtyard.
Watching him go with a wry smile, Subaru shook his head with a weary air.
His pride was wounded, and there was surely some embarrassment as well. But if those bad feelings got washed away with the sweat before breakfast, that would be fine. Truly, adolescence was a difficult age.
"I'm sorry I've been leaving him all to you. If you're tired too, maybe take a bath — actually, running into each other in the bathhouse would be a problem, wouldn't it?"
"That's true, and I'd feel bad for him. Fortunately, I haven't moved around enough to break a sweat, so I'll pass. It would be cruel to drag Garfiel in front of Ram covered in mud."
Reinhard smiled at Subaru's remark as he watched Garfiel go.
As he said, there was no trace whatsoever of the morning sparring session on the "Sword Saint." Garfiel, who had attacked with lethal intent, had been treated as nothing more than a child.
What's more, Reinhard calmly stamped down the lawn where Garfiel had been slammed, leaving a crater — and somehow, the turf returned perfectly to its original state.
Was this also the power of one of the countless blessings he possessed? — The thought of what it would mean if he ever became an enemy sent a chill down Subaru's spine.
That was all the more reason why bringing him over to their side was arguably Subaru's greatest achievement.
The "Sword Saint"
His current affiliation was with the camp of
Immediately after the Royal Selection began, the "Sword Saint" had served as knight to
"———"
"What's wrong?"
"...No, I appreciate your concern, but I probably won't be able to return to being Felt's knight. It seems she judged me unfit to serve her. Otherwise, she wouldn't have vanished without a word, leaving me behind."
Reinhard looked away with a lonely expression and shook his head.
At his answer, Subaru closed his eyes and sighed, hiding his inner thoughts.
— It had been nearly a year since Felt, one of the Royal Selection candidates and Reinhard's master, had vanished from her knight's side.
That cat-like girl had defied the Astrea household, taking with her the one elderly person she could trust like family, and abandoned the "Sword Saint" who had sworn loyalty to her, fleeing the Royal Selection entirely.
That was the public perception of her — and it was essentially true.
In reality, Reinhard had been abruptly cut out of the Royal Selection without ever hearing a word of explanation from Felt.
The master to whom he had devoted his loyalty had disappeared without a trace, and the extent of the powerlessness that the "Sword Saint" had felt was immeasurable.
It was Subaru who had reached out to him and drawn him into their camp as an ally.
The self-blame and sense of duty that had made Reinhard so obstinate — Subaru's desperate persuasions had moved him, and he had agreed to lend his sword to Emilia as his new master.
Since then, the "Sword Saint" had become the sword of Emilia's camp, playing an enormously important role in the Royal Selection. The descendant of the "Sword Saint" who had once sealed the "Witch of Envy" now stood on the side of Emilia, scorned as a half-demon. The significance of that was immeasurable.
And beyond the Royal Selection, Reinhard's presence had been a great help.
Dealing with the prickly Garfiel, despite them being in the same camp, was one such example.
"You and Ram have my undying respect. Without you two, I can't even imagine how many times Garfiel would have clobbered me by now."
"He wouldn't go that far. On the surface, Garfiel is harsh toward Subaru, but that's actually a reflection of how he recognizes your strength. It's just that your strength isn't the kind that's obvious at a glance. That's what he can't quite accept."
"Well, when someone dodges and weaves and confuses you with tricks like that every time, anyone would get fed up. It wasn't like I had other options, so no regrets or second thoughts."
Reinhard's defense made Subaru shrug. He recalled the events at the "
The Sanctuary — sealed by a barrier connected to the tomb, making it impossible for the villagers to escape. The threat of the
Garfiel, who feared the liberation of the Sanctuary and fought tooth and nail to stop Subaru and Emilia — dealing with him could be said to have poured every ounce of the "Return by Death" blessing into it.
That was the very beginning of the contract between Subaru and Echidna.
Having chosen to take the witch's hand, Subaru had repeated "Return by Death" an unimaginable number of times in that Sanctuary, running through every possible trial and error.
As a result, Subaru had grasped the actions of every person in the Sanctuary, and by keeping Garfiel completely out of the loop, had neutralized his interference at its root.
Secretly overcoming the tomb's "Trial" and releasing the barrier, Roswaal completing his groundwork with Ryuzu and guiding the evacuation — before the threat of the Great Rabbit struck the Sanctuary, the residents were evacuated.
During that time, Garfiel had struggled desperately to delay the moment of liberation approaching before his eyes — and Subaru had sealed off all of that resistance.
In the end, it was only after everything was over that Garfiel understood.
After the Sanctuary's residents had been evacuated and he learned it was too late, Garfiel still tried to remain. But the Sanctuary was attacked by the Great Rabbit, and unable to resist alone, the boy was pushed to the brink of death. He was saved there — by Subaru and Roswaal.
His lack of power, his misjudgments — the circumstances that had made the boy so stubborn for over ten years had been resolved by outsiders, in a way that bypassed him entirely. Garfiel's pride was left covered in scars.
It was only natural that his pent-up frustration turned to anger, and that he came to hate Subaru.
If not for Ram, and for Frederica — his sister — persuading him, Garfiel might not have chosen to join Emilia's camp even in name only.
The outlet for Garfiel's fury had become Reinhard, who had newly entered the picture.
In the end, what Garfiel could least forgive was his own inadequacy.
Struggling blindly to become stronger, Garfiel had come to see the "Sword Saint's" strength as a concrete goal — and from that, small signs of change had begun to appear.
If he kept at it, perhaps one day he would reach the answer he hadn't been able to find at the Sanctuary.
"And if he could warm up to me a little, I'd be satisfied."
"Your feelings will reach him before long. There's no need to rush."
Reinhard shook his head comfortingly at Subaru's reserved conclusion. Then the red-haired knight looked toward the mansion and said: "Leave Garfiel to me for a while longer. ...If you still have faith in me, even though I couldn't earn Felt's trust."
"Don't be so self-effacing. If I can't trust you, who can I trust? I'm counting on you."
"Understood. Then go do what you need to do. — That is the duty of the foremost knight."
Only in that last sentence did Reinhard imbue a special emotion.
"Foremost knight" — that title was reserved for the most deeply bound relationship between lord and knight. Reinhard had not been able to become that for Felt.
It felt as though there was a sentiment embedded there — that he didn't want Subaru to become that either.
"Well, see you later then."
Without letting any of that sentiment show on his face, Reinhard clapped Subaru on the shoulder and left the courtyard. Under his departing feet, the lawn that should have been cratered showed no trace whatsoever of the battle that had taken place.
Standing on the restored turf, Subaru waited until Reinhard had completely disappeared from the courtyard, then let out a sigh.
"So I've left Garfiel to you, huh..."
*'That was quite a convincing performance. You've really grown thick-skinned.'* "———"
Once again, the voice of the contract-breaking witch reached him. But this time, Subaru said nothing.
Taking his silence as permission, Echidna sent her thoughts through the crystal: *'You're free to pity Garfiel. But we thoroughly discussed the Sanctuary situation, remember? After all those trial-and-error repetitions, you chose the best option. No one hurt. No one died. ...In the end, you saved everyone's life. Right?'* "I know. That's why I'm not saying anything."
*'You don't need to feel guilty about Reinhard either. That girl — Felt was never enthusiastic about the Royal Selection to begin with. So you simply gave her an escape route with no loose ends. Right now, she's living peacefully in
Echidna carefully, carefully peeled away the scab of Subaru's choices.
Garfiel's stagnation. Reinhard's anguish. — All of it was the result of Subaru's choices.
Garfiel was one thing. That had been a necessary process to solve the Sanctuary problem without sacrifice. But Reinhard was different.
Separating him from his lord had been entirely Natsuki Subaru's scheming. If the truth were known, condemnation and contempt were unavoidable. It was that kind of ploy.
But — *'To repel the malice of the
*'Being able to save
*'Of course, the forces gathered at that scene might have been able to repel them through other means. But facing a crisis of that magnitude and defeating multiple Archbishops of Sin without a single casualty — that was undeniably because you had Reinhard on your side beforehand.'* Echidna's words, piling on and on, seemed intended to comfort Subaru but continued to produce the opposite result.
They were the blade of words falling again and again, again and again, to justify his actions.
They were cutting so precisely into Natsuki Subaru's actions, into his deceptions, that it almost seemed as though their true purpose was to tear his heart to shreds — and that it was all being done so precisely that it made him think that was indeed the case.
No matter how many times — dozens, hundreds — he repeated it, it wasn't enough.
He was overwhelmingly lacking in power. And that power could never be supplemented by Natsuki Subaru's experience of repeating "Return by Death" alone.
There existed in this world a despair that could not be overturned by memories of the future and experience alone. Even so, if he could compromise, perhaps he could have overcome the hardship.
But Subaru couldn't become so strong — or so weak — as to accept sacrifice out of self-preservation.
Accepting resignation, permitting compromise, turning a blind eye to sacrifice — if he did that, it would all be meaningless.
The meaning of taking the witch's hand instead of weighing his own life would be lost.
So he had scrambled. He had run himself ragged to obtain the power he needed, to gather the fighting strength he required.
And the result — the strongest sword, Reinhard van Astrea — he had陷落ed and brought to his side.
For that, Felt's withdrawal from the Royal Selection was necessary — and the number of trial-and-error repetitions it took to realize that event, he had no energy left to recount.
The enmity with Reinhard, scattering before that sword not once or twice but ten or twenty times — Even so, in the end, it was achieved. Peacefully, without sacrificing a single person.
Only that result was salvation for Natsuki Subaru.
No matter how much his heart was wounded — if lives were saved — "Life. If you have life, you have the future. If you have the future, you have hope. If you have hope, you have possibility. If you have possibility — "
*'— Then people can be saved. You are right. You have not made a mistake. I guarantee it.'* "I don't need your guarantee..."
Admonishing himself, steeling himself, Subaru spoke aloud the thought that lay at his very foundation.
The witch affirmed it, understood it, shared it, praised it.
Even as he answered with complaints, the truth was that the witch's words were saving him.
Life. Life.
If you had life, you could start again. There was possibility. You could connect to hope.
Sacrifice — that meant the lives of others besides Subaru. He had stopped counting every life except his own in the equation. As long as the lives besides his were protected, there was always value in continuing to challenge "Return by Death."
— Even if the person he wanted save was crying, he would save them.
That was the salvation Subaru had resolved to achieve, even if it meant grasping the hand of a witch.
--- Having received the witch's cruel comfort, Subaru left the courtyard.
Watching the morning sparring between Reinhard and Garfiel — that was actually unrelated to Subaru's daily routine.
He had simply happened to pass by and ended up intervening.
Subaru's true daily routine would take place now, in the mansion's library.
"Yo,
At the deepest end of the mansion's eastern wing, the library existed in precise order.
Pushing open the heavy double doors, the first thing that surged out was an overwhelming scent of paper. The room, illuminated by faint magical lamps, was crammed floor to ceiling with bookshelves, each packed tight with thick volumes.
It was a collection rivaling that of the once-existing "Forbidden Library."
That was why, perhaps.
Even knowing that this place was not the "Forbidden Library" she was meant to protect, the girl continued to linger here — because she could see traces of her former sanctuary within it.
"———"
In the darkened depths of the room, at one corner of the library, there sat a girl hugging her knees.
When entering the room, she would normally be seated on a wooden step stool — that was her fixed position. Because that memory was still vivid, the fact that she now spent more time huddled like this than sitting on it created a dissonance that lingered as a stubborn knot in Subaru's chest.
Still in the same dress, Beatrice pressed her forehead against her knees and huddled there. In that posture, the girl did not respond to Subaru's presence or voice — not even a twitch.
But she was clearly not sleeping. The small fingers clutching her own body were white with the force of her grip.
Before, Beatrice had greeted Subaru with an irritable but dignified air, proudly introducing herself as the curator. That proud bearing, backed by self-confidence and responsibility, was nowhere to be seen now.
Narrowing his eyes at the girl's condition, Subaru blinked once to brush aside the emotion that flickered across his chest. Then he put on a stupidly bright smile and flung open the library curtains.
Unlike the Forbidden Library, this was a physical space. It had windows, and the door couldn't serve as a barrier to intruders. So — "Hey, Beako. Nice morning today. There's a nice breeze blowing. How about we stop holed up in this musty room and go play outside like normal people?"
"———"
"If you don't want to get your dress muddy playing outside, at least come eat with everyone. Come out to the dining hall like before. It can't be that hard, can it?"
"———"
When the curtains were opened, sunlight poured into the library through the window.
At that light, and at Subaru's unreserved smile and call, Beatrice kept her face lowered and maintained her silence. Her arms around her knees held her body in place — to Subaru, it looked as though she was punishing herself.
"Hey, Beako..."
"...Enough. Shut up."
"———"
Unable to watch her like that, when Subaru stepped forward, Beatrice spoke suddenly.
Her voice was heavy and sunken, and hoarse at that. But even that voice brought Subaru relief — hearing her voice at all had become a rarity lately.
If days continued where she sank completely into silence, unable to exchange a single word, even rejection and denial would start to feel like a joy.
Oblivious to Subaru's inner thoughts, Beatrice continued without raising her face.
"Betty is tired. Maybe she's given up now. Defying Mother's orders... breaking the contract... and still surviving... why?"
"Beatrice..."
"Back then, if you had... abandoned me... why did you come save me? ...No one... you're not 'that person'... you're not that person at all...!"
It was a grudge that would not fade. A resentment that could not diminish. A remorse that could not be forgiven.
It was the hatred born from the fact that Beatrice had clung to these feelings alone for four hundred years — and then had those feelings trampled upon, both by herself in letting go of them and by the person who had trampled them.
The spirit in the Forbidden Library, who had steeled herself to abandon her mission, was nonetheless kept alive against her resolve.
By surviving contrary to her wish, she had been granted a life whose reason had ceased to exist.
The Forbidden Library had been lost along with the burning mansion, and her place in this world was gone forever.
And yet, the fact that she had abandoned and cast aside her mission remained burned into her heart.
That fact was etched into the heart of a girl burdened with a fierce sense of responsibility as a wound that would never heal.
— It was because of this that, ever since that night the Forbidden Library burned, she had been condemned to huddle in the corner of the library, weeping and weeping, endlessly.
But — "——! Let go! Let go of me! Don't touch Betty...!"
Unable to watch her diminish any further, Subaru wrapped his arms around her huddled form.
That embrace made Beatrice's voice crack. Baring her disgust and rage, she sank her nails into Subaru's neck. The scratches drew blood without mercy. But he didn't let go.
He held the trembling small body, as if comforting her.
But perhaps the one who truly needed comforting was Subaru himself.
"Why... why do you keep coming here...! Someone like you, someone like you...!"
"As long as you're taking your frustration out on me like that, I'll keep coming. The regret you feel like will never fade — if you keep letting it out, maybe someday it will."
"It will never fade...! Not for Betty!"
"I'm glad you're alive. That's why I'm waiting for you to one day stand tall in front of me again. — That expectation exists only because you're alive."
"——!"
Speaking as gently and earnestly as he could, Subaru felt Beatrice's resistance give way.
Beatrice's face went blank, and she dissolved into tears without any sense of where she was. That was proof that the conversation could not continue any further.
— Once every two weeks, a routine exchange of tantrums and bewilderment between Subaru and Beatrice.
Releasing his arms, Beatrice pressed her forehead against her knees once more. Watching the girl retreat into her shell, Subaru could say nothing more.
His words still could not open the gate of Beatrice's hardened heart.
But if he kept knocking on that gate, over and over — maybe someday it would open. That possibility was what hope meant.
"...If only I had lied back then and said I was 'that person.'"
Leaving Beatrice and stepping out of the library, Subaru leaned against the door and murmured.
Beatrice had been shattered by the mansion's attack, by the hope Subaru's existence had kindled of "that person." She had steeled herself for the end of her long mission — and both her fragile hope and her sad resignation had been broken.
For a girl who had waited four hundred years, burning with longing for "that person" who would come and accept the Forbidden Library — should Subaru have lied and claimed to be that person, even if it was a falsehood?
If he had, would her heart have been protected — unscorched alongside the Forbidden Library that burned?
*'The loss of the Forbidden Library is irreversible. Those books of knowledge disappearing without being passed on is painful for me too, but it can't be helped. For you, Beatrice's life being saved should be more important than any knowledge.'* "You're the last one who should say that. Of all people, you shouldn't be able to say that."
At Subaru's lingering attachment to the past, Echidna — remaining in the dream world — offered a rebuttal.
But wasn't Echidna the very person who had entrusted the Forbidden Library to Beatrice and condemned her to four hundred barren years?
At Echidna's command, Beatrice's heart had been shattered — fragile as it was.
And yet — "If you hadn't told her to wait for 'that person'...!"
*'Are you saying you wish she hadn't waited? Now that's quite the logical leap. I had my own reasons for requiring that. Of course, I bear responsibility for the long solitude Beatrice spent because of it. But I never intended to impose misfortune on her. I'd like you to understand that.'* "Gu—"
At Echidna's counter, Subaru recognized his own outburst and faltered.
The witch's words were correct. In the end, Subaru blaming Echidna here was nothing more than shifting the responsibility for what he himself had failed to do.
"...Who was 'that person' in the end?"
*'That's something I unfortunately cannot reveal from my lips. Since the Forbidden Library is gone, there's no point in discussing it. Even if that person were found, he wouldn't know about it anymore.'* "He... so it's a man?"
*'— Did I let that slip? But there's absolutely no way to find him. And even if you did — what would you do? Introduce him to Beatrice? Or would you want to punish him in some way? And if so, for what crime? The man never even had the opportunity to become aware. You can't judge someone for a crime that doesn't exist. Besides, you don't have the time for that.'* A slip of the tongue — but Echidna's rhetoric made it impossible to tell if it was. Subaru clicked his tongue.
In truth, the witch's words were correct on every count. He couldn't find him. He couldn't judge him. And he certainly didn't have the time for such things.
*'Beatrice truly spent a pitiable amount of time. But that doesn't mean the future is guaranteed to be the same. As it happens, you were right about that.'* "———"
*'Even if she's been beaten down by regret now, someday that girl will be freed from it. When that time comes, someone will need to accept her. Whether that someone is you, or someone else — either way, someone can become that. That's the possibility of being alive.'* That was sophistry.
That was a convenient facade.
But it was, without question, also hope.
What seemed like Echidna's honeyed words was in fact a possibility that Subaru couldn't help but believe in.
That was why, no matter how transparently the witch connected by contract was manipulating words, he couldn't deny her account. He clung to it. He leaned on it.
On the presence of his only accomplice — the one who always made him conscious of his sin and never let him forget it.
"We're at an impasse, then."
*'Yes, we are.'* In the end, that was how they ended things — Subaru and Echidna, facing their sin.
Entrusting the future with hope, believing that possibility had a path, waiting for the day when the ideal would be reached.
No matter how many chances arose, Subaru would still end up at this place.
Dragging Beatrice out of the burning mansion, knowing the girl would lose the Forbidden Library, knowing that days of weeping would follow — but wanting her to live.
Through all his trial and error, through the thousands of worlds he had repeated, Subaru had never been able to find a way to save Beatrice without anyone dying.
That was how he went on — self-supplying his own hope, walking ever forward.
Saved. Having been saved.
Taking those words as nourishment for the future, praying that possibility would bud, today as well.
--- "Oh my my, if that isn't Subaru-sama returning from Beatrice's place?"
"———"
A voice caught him from behind as he walked down the corridor, and Subaru stopped reflexively.
From the tone and timbre, he knew instantly who it was. All the more reason to regret stopping — but having halted, he couldn't just ignore her.
Reluctantly turning around, the other party stood leisurely at his back.
"Roswaal."
"Yes, that's right. Good morning. How was Beatrice today?"
"...She spoke to me for the first time in a while. Well, I'll have to ask you to stay tuned for further developments."
"I see. ...It appears you were quite roughly handled, though."
At Subaru's disgruntled response, Roswaal narrowed his mismatched eyes.
His gaze was directed at Subaru's neck and cheeks. There, the scratch marks from Beatrice's nails remained ugly and raw.
"Unfortunately, I'm not very suited for healing injuries. I'm afraid I can't do much for those wounds. The only ones who can use healing magic are... Beatrice, Garfiel, and Emilia-sama."
"The first two would be a bit difficult. Asking Emilia to... well, I'll think about it."
"If you asked, she'd happily heal you. Or perhaps the pain of the wound is, in its own way, comforting to you right now?"
"———"
Where Subaru was tight-lipped, Roswaal was loquacious, and every word was sharp. Especially that last remark — Subaru narrowed his eyes, and Roswaal shrugged with a clownish gesture.
The clown's makeup, the outlandish costume — Roswaal's appearance and manner were the same as ever, but there was one crucial difference from before.
The way he treated Subaru. His attitude. And the genuine respect beneath it.
It was proof that Roswaal had, despite himself, recognized Natsuki Subaru's existence as useful.
"But there's no need to worry. Given time, you will surely find the breakthrough. You are someone obsessively dedicated to seizing the optimal outcome, by whatever means necessary. If you wish to save Beatrice's heart, you should be able to achieve that as well. There's no need to rush — oh my."
"You make it sound awfully simple. It's not that convenient."
"You're too humble. — I don't think it's simple, either. However, that fact does not diminish your achievements up to this point. That's all."
With a polite bow, Roswaal praised Subaru's accomplishments head-on.
In truth, the only one who knew that Subaru's supernatural ability was "Return by Death" was Echidna, with whom Subaru had a contract. But the one who had grasped a similar ability of "starting over" and evaluated Subaru's achievements alongside that knowledge was Roswaal.
Since Echidna held no real-world power, it was none other than Roswaal who, in the truest sense, valued Subaru the most — and that was no exaggeration.
"The royal capital, my mansion, the royal capital again. The Sanctuary, Priestella. — You have not dropped the ball a single time, and you stand here today. That is an undeniable achievement and a feat worthy of celebration. Eventually, you will surely fulfill my own deepest wish. I will not hesitate to offer my cooperation. Please, use me as much as you like."
"You're awfully optimistic. ...I have no confidence that I'm dancing in your palm."
"But you desire the Dragon's Blood. Without it, that girl —
At Roswaal's low, probing gaze, Subaru returned it with an equally cold stare.
It was a relationship of mutual exploitation, balanced on a precarious footing — each holding the other's vital weakness.
Roswaal intended to use Subaru's "Return by Death" to achieve his own goal, and was guiding Subaru into a situation where he had no choice but to comply.
And Subaru, knowing full well what Roswaal was after, had no choice but to play along in order to save Rem, who still slumbered.
"What? This won't be a bad deal. You achieve your wish, and I achieve mine. We use each other. That's all there is to it."
"———"
"My power should prove useful. I spent four hundred years preparing for this. Just as your power is essential to me, so too am I to you."
At Roswaal's certainty, Subaru could not formulate a rebuttal.
It was an answer that had existed for a long time — since he learned of Roswaal's betrayal at the Sanctuary. For the Royal Selection, as a countermeasure against those who would impede their progress, they could not afford to be without Roswaal.
Even if he was using Subaru, scheming to achieve his own desire.
"If you'd just been straightforward about what you wanted, I might not have been so stubborn about cooperating with you."
"I'm afraid that won't be happening. You wouldn't make that choice."
As Subaru stepped forward to ease the tension even slightly, Roswaal cut him off. At Subaru's raised eyebrows, Roswaal smiled with an eerie air and continued: "Especially if you lack self-awareness. You will always push forward with your highest priority with everything you have. If something is judged to be an obstacle or a hindrance, no matter the circumstances, you will discard any wish without hesitation. You can do it. You can bring yourself to do it. I had already decided that. That is why you became my trump card."
"———"
"So what of it? I pursue my wish, you pursue yours. If neither reaches its destination, then it simply means one of us didn't want it badly enough."
"...Yeah, sure."
A manic obsession — Subaru already knew that was what sustained Roswaal. And that the root of it ran somewhere Subaru didn't know, and Roswaal had no intention of revealing.
Understanding that much, Subaru cut the conversation short and walked away. At the posture that signaled the severing of communication, Roswaal called after him from where he stood: "Oh, yes. Right now, Ram is in Rem's room. Just letting you know."
"———"
Without answering, Subaru turned the corner and escaped Roswaal's gaze.
--- "I am deeply grateful that you took the trouble to visit for the sake of my worthless sister, Natsuki Subaru-sama."
Since the contract at the Sanctuary — or rather, since Natsuki Subaru's way of being had been decided, would be more accurate.
Within the mansion and without, countless changes had been unavoidable, but among them, hers was perhaps the most dramatic.
Facing Subaru as he entered the room, the pink-haired maid bowed deeply.
The opening words were unmistakably Ram's.
The woman who had once embodied haughty arrogance — after the events at the Sanctuary, after overcoming the various trials that followed, her attitude toward Subaru had undergone a radical transformation.
"I don't think I'll ever get used to your attitude."
"...Once again, I sincerely apologize for my previous rudeness. Through my own ignorance and lack of awareness, I caused Natsuki Subaru-sama great inconvenience. However, both Roswaal-sama and Emilia-sama have instructed me to show you the utmost respect going forward. You may rest assured that nothing of the sort will happen again."
Without a change in expression, Ram answered Subaru with the flawless deportment of a maid.
Not a trace remained of the familiarity, the closeness that could be called affection, from before. It was a wall — no, if it were merely a wall, one could overcome it. But this was something without a method of transcendence; it was more accurately described as a gulf between different worlds.
Roswaal-worshipping Ram, who respected Roswaal's way of being. Just as Roswaal had changed the way he treated Subaru, Ram's assessment of Subaru's value had changed dramatically.
The result was her attitude of treating Subaru as an object of reverence.
Avoiding her gaze, Subaru looked to the center of the room — the reason he had come here: the blue-haired girl lying in bed.
Lying on her back, unchanged for over two years now — Rem.
He had vowed to wake her. And without reaching the certainty that he could fulfill that vow, time mercilessly left her behind.
"Any change in Rem?"
"None. She continues to sleep as before... Given the many pressing issues that demand your attention, I feel terrible for causing you concern over my foolish little sister."
"Don't talk like that. Thinking about Rem... never — it's never wasted. Never do that again."
"...Yes."
At Subaru's sharp rebuke, Ram answered shortly.
There was no dissatisfaction, no protest, no relief, no gratitude. As for Rem — whom she addressed as sister — Ram had neither feeling nor understanding. Formally, she acknowledged Rem as her sister, but in her heart, there was probably no longer a place for Rem.
Her heart had become entirely anchored to her devotion to Roswaal.
This was heavily influenced by Subaru's actions — the choice that had severed the wish Ram herself had carried, all while riding Roswaal's scheme.
Even if Rem woke, would there be a place for her sister in Ram's heart?
Could the sisters, the one so revered and the one so adored, find their way back to each other?
"——! Ram, I need a moment alone with Rem."
"...Understood. Please do not hesitate to call if you need anything."
Grimacing at the chilling imagination, Subaru felt a fear at being in the same room with Ram. His trembling — miraculously without a sound — drove her presence from this place.
Fortunately, Ram did not dispute Subaru's words. With a graceful curtsy, she left the room silently. Now it was just Subaru and Rem.
"...Rem."
"———"
The girl lying in the bed, her breathing barely distinguishable from sleep, gave no response. Only the faint rise and fall of her chest, and the warm, blood-flowing body one would feel at a touch — proof that she was alive.
Coming to this place, always taking her hand, confirming her faint pulse — that was everything Subaru could do for Rem, and the entirety of the solace he permitted himself.
"...Echidna."
*'— That's a rare one, you calling first.'* Sitting beside the bed and holding Rem's hand, Subaru's call drew a response from Echidna. The witch — who seemed aware that she was prone to starting conversations without being called — quietly waited for Subaru to speak, allowing him to soak in the lukewarm bath of emotion.
Then the silence stretched on — ten-odd seconds, or perhaps several minutes.
"To wake Rem, the method is the same as what you said before?"
*'Yes. Questioning the Archbishop of Gluttony, the Great Sin Archbishop who put her to sleep. Though I have to say, the probability is low. Finding them is an extraordinary challenge, and even if you captured one, getting them to talk... If you could make contact, finding a way to make them talk would be within your capabilities, but...'* "Yeah. Right. If finding them, capturing them, and making them talk would wake Rem, I'd do it ten thousand times. But..."
He couldn't find them. The Archbishop of Gluttony — that despicable blasphemer — refused to show themselves.
Even when the Archbishops of Wrath, Lust, and Greed had assembled at Priestella, the Archbishop of Gluttony they desperately needed hadn't appeared.
Why, why, why, why, why — "If 'Gluttony' is a dead end, what about the Tower of the Sage?
*'As a witch, I'll tell you this plainly. Even if you went to the
The Archbishop of Gluttony couldn't be found. The Sage wouldn't help. He was at a dead end. Then what — what could he possibly do — *'— That's why you have no choice but to obtain the Dragon's Blood.'* "With the Dragon's Blood, I can wake Rem."
*'That is the Divine Dragon, after all. With the omnipotent power hidden in that blood, liberating the soul of a girl trapped in sleep should be within reach.'* Echidna's words were speculation. But it was speculation with the weight of certainty.
While she avoided making a definitive statement, the witch's words carried a remarkable force of conviction. And so, Subaru could believe that this was the way to save Rem.
The Dragon's Blood — one of the treasures said to have been bestowed upon the
It brought abundance to the earth, warded off all disease, and held the potential for miracles.
Only the being of the most exalted status in the kingdom could access it.
In other words — that being was — "If I secure the throne, it's within reach."
*'Exactly. And that is precisely why you must make her — Emilia — into the queen.'* "———"
*'Support Emilia, uphold her, save the people you wish to save, and make her queen. And only then, with the Dragon's Blood in hand, can you save Rem.'* Echidna's words seeped into Subaru's brain like poison.
To save Rem, Emilia needed to become queen. Making Emilia queen meant fulfilling Emilia's wish — and that was one of the purposes Subaru had devoted himself to achieving.
How wonderful. Supporting Emilia led to saving Rem.
Making Emilia queen was for the sake of saving Rem.
Rem being saved in the end was thanks to Subaru's ambition to make Emilia queen.
Therefore — *'Therefore...'* "Cut it out, you bastard. ...Don't keep trying to shake my resolve every time something comes up. Why do you always try to lower Emilia in my eyes?"
*'I have no such intention?'* "You're not convincing. We've been through this — dozens of times, hundreds of times — this exact exchange."
Like brainwashing Subaru's very heart, the witch repeatedly injected poison.
As if trying to twist Subaru's purpose, to make him disdain Emilia's value. But that was a line Subaru could not cross. If he deviated there, Natsuki Subaru would lose the right to trample over the corpses of himself that he had sacrificed along the way.
"There's supposed to be no self-interest involved, no matter what your feelings toward Emilia are."
*'That's a misunderstanding. Well, no matter what I say, you won't believe me, so this is another impasse.'* "We've repeated this enough times to reach an impasse, and you say that with a straight face?"
The working relationship with Echidna had this exhausting quality to it.
The witch named herself Subaru's accomplice, and in practice lent him wisdom, contributing to his cause — but she was also scheming to exploit not just Subaru's "Return by Death," but his very way of being.
Though, thanks to her soft touches and lack of follow-through, her venom never quite reached its mark.
"I will obtain the Dragon's Blood. By making Emilia queen. — But that's not something I'm doing on the side while saving Rem. Making Emilia queen leading to saving Rem — my original resolve hasn't changed. I won't get that wrong."
*'Good grief. You could at least dance to my tune once in a while and I wouldn't complain. If you don't show any openings, it's bad for a witch's reputation.'* "Your approach is too soft. ...Or rather, you're fundamentally soft at your core. You're not cut out to be a villain. That's what's saving me, though."
*'I see. I'll bear that in mind.'* Having been told the reason for her defeat, Echidna accepted it with surprising composure. Even if she tried to learn from the lesson, she probably couldn't.
Because one's nature doesn't change that easily. It can't be changed.
Just as Natsuki Subaru was, and would always be, Natsuki Subaru.
The "Witch of Greed" Echidna could only ever be the "Witch of Greed" Echidna.
All one could do was live, wielding the unchangeable as a weapon.
Life was a game played with the cards you were dealt.
"——Rem, wait for me. I will wake you. For that."
— No matter how many times I die.
It was a resolve without exaggeration, a wager too light to be called stakes.
No matter how many times he threw it away, his inexhaustible life would pay the price. If that eventually led to her awakening, he would have no regrets.
That was all. Just that. That was enough.
--- — From Beatrice's library to Rem's bedroom, the final stop of the daily ritual.
Knocking on the closed door with a casual rhythm, Subaru waited. Almost immediately, a knock came from inside. Not a reply — a knock.
Answering that, Subaru knocked again. The other party knocked back immediately. Subaru knocked again. The other party matched him. Knock, knock, knock — "——Enough already! You're making me so anxious!"
The one whose patience ran out first was the room's owner.
The door opened from inside, and the face that appeared belonged to a silver-haired, violet-eyed beautiful girl — one of surpassing beauty, the embodiment of supreme loveliness that could captivate anything and everything.
Emilia, her cheeks puffed out and flushed red, looked more adorable than beautiful, and Subaru couldn't help but laugh.
"Ah, why are you laughing? You're such a meanie, Subaru."
"I haven't heard 'meanie' in ages. Anyway, you're the one who started the knock-war, Emilia-tan. I was just going along with it."
"That's what you're going with? Hm, fine. Then I just won't let you into my room."
At Subaru's grinning words, Emilia made a pouty face and moved to close the door. Subaru hastily jammed his hand in the gap — "Ow!"
"Subaru, are you okay!?"
When Subaru let out an exaggerated scream from having his fingers pinched, Emilia leaped forward. Rushing out of the room, she grabbed his right hand where the sharp pain was — "Ha mu."
"E-Emilia-tan!? Isn't this a bit bold!?"
"Hifhoharath hufu hohinhi hukhitathe."
Subaru had no idea what she was saying, but the intensity in Emilia's violet eyes overwhelmed him.
Emilia's thin lips were wrapped around Subaru's reddened fingers. Inside those soft lips, he could feel Emilia's warm pink tongue gently tracing the stinging pain.
A shiver — indecent and electric — ran up Subaru's spine.
"Does... does it feel better now? Does it hurt, Subaru... wait, why is your face so red?"
"For reasons that are inevitable from a boy's perspective, and also because this unexpected development is causing total chaos — I mean, no, I'm fine. Thank you. I'll be able to carry on now."
"— ? I don't really get it, but I'm going to use healing magic, okay?"
Holding up the finger she had licked, Subaru bowed his head. Emilia looked confused, but quickly shifted focus and cast a healing spell with pale blue waves on his finger.
The pain that Emilia's tongue had soothed was fully cured by the healing magic. The only thing left was for Subaru to decide what to do with the finger still damp with her saliva.
"Wipe it on my clothes... no, that feels wasteful. But licking it myself would be way too advanced...! But if I miss this opportunity..."
"Ah, sorry about that. My saliva's dirty, isn't it? Squeak squeak — there, all clean."
"Damn it —! It was a timed-choice option —!?"
Unaware of Subaru's devastation, Emilia wiped his finger with a handkerchief, looking pleased with herself. Then she happened to glance at Subaru's neck and blinked.
There, untreated, were Beatrice's scratch marks. Noticing them with sharp eyes, Emilia gently touched the wound with her white finger: "Subaru, that looks painful. What happened to this wound?"
"A-Ah, this? I just caught it on something while..."
"Liar."
Cutting off Subaru's clumsy attempt at cover-up, Emilia spoke that single word.
With wide, round eyes, she traced the wound with her finger again and again, and finally murmured: "— It was Beatrice, wasn't it?"
The instant she spoke, Emilia's voice was frozen with no emotion.
In the next moment, what burst from Emilia's body was an overwhelming torrent of pure white power. It swept through the mansion's corridor in an instant, and Subaru's skin stung as if scorched by a freezing wind.
Feeling the air crystallize and groan, Subaru cried out in alarm: "Emilia! Emilia, calm down! It's okay, it's okay!"
"———"
"Emilia! Look at me! Right here!"
"— Ah."
Reaching out forcefully, Subaru pulled her slender body into a rough embrace, calling her name.
He pressed his face close enough to feel her breath, calling Emilia's name over and over, and shouted as her violet eyes reflected his own image.
At his voice, the focus returned to Emilia's clouded eyes, and a sound escaped her lips.
In that instant, the freezing air that had nearly engulfed the entire upper floor of the mansion dissipated, and the crushing pressure surrounding his body vanished, returning to normal.
"That was close. Another second and Reinhard would have come running..."
"W-What just... happened to me?"
"It's okay. It's okay. Emilia-tan's a good girl, a good girl, everything's fine."
Sinking to the floor alongside Emilia, who stared with blank eyes, Subaru sat down as well. Holding his own head, unable to grasp the situation, he patted her back repeatedly to calm her.
Gradually, Emilia's breathing steadied, and she looked at Subaru with a tentative expression: "S-Sorry... I did it again, didn't I..."
"It's fine. You're not bothering me, Emilia-tan. This is the role I chose to take on. So don't worry."
"...Mm, okay."
At Subaru's words, Emilia frowned slightly but nodded.
Until her heart truly found peace, Subaru did not release her.
— Emilia's emotional instability stemmed from the fact that she had been unable to overcome the "Trial" at the Sanctuary.
The first "Trial" — the trial of glimpsing one's own past — what she had seen remained unknown.
But those harsh memories had broken Emilia's spirit and crushed her will to stand. Unable to overcome them, the "Trial" had been ended by Subaru's hand.
Therefore, Emilia's stride was perhaps still trapped within that tomb.
But no matter how much she refused, how much she lamented, time would not stop. And neither the world, nor those around her, nor anyone would permit her to stagnate.
That was why Subaru kept pulling Emilia's hand — the hand that was about to stop.
"I'm sorry, Subaru. I've been causing you trouble again..."
"No problem, no prob, no worries. If anything, I'm all for it."
"...Hehe, Subaru. Mm, thank you. I'm okay now."
After a moment's embrace, Emilia lifted her face from Subaru's chest. The warmth of her standing up left Subaru pouting with regret.
"Too bad. I was really enjoying Emilia-tan's softness."
"Oh, would that be better? If Subaru wants that, I'll do it."
"No no no, it's fine. The trick to making something last is to stop while you're still slightly wanting more. Feed an animal until it's stuffed and it's just livestock. I'd rather be a wolf hunting its own prey than a pig being raised for someone else."
"I think so too. I always thought Subaru was more dog than pig anyway."
"Dog and pig make it sound like a totally different conversation!?"
Through their nonsensical banter, Subaru's smile returned.
At least she seemed to have forgotten about the wound that had triggered the outburst. Small mercy.
*'I can barely watch.'* "Shut up."
"— Eh?"
"Ah, that wasn't aimed at you, Emilia-tan. Sorry, I was talking to myself."
The sudden thought-wave intrusion made Subaru snap back reflexively, startling Emilia.
The thought-waves through the crystal were naturally only audible to Subaru. Echidna, who had openly expressed her disgust at Emilia's state — her contempt and mockery were heard by Subaru alone.
"S-Should I be quiet? If Subaru wants that, I'll try really hard..."
"No, it's fine! Talk as much as you want. You can talk to me about anything."
"...Really?"
Uncertainly, Emilia's violet eyes began to glisten. When Subaru nodded, Emilia's face relaxed with visible relief, and she placed her hand over his: "Then tell me, Subaru. — What should I do today?"
"———"
"Yesterday, I stayed in my room and studied exactly like you told me. If Subaru says it, it must be right. So tell me — what should I do?"
— Do as Subaru says. Subaru can't be wrong. Subaru is trusted.
At Emilia's words, Subaru struggled to keep the mask of his smile from slipping.
The smile he had practiced before the mirror — its culmination was put to use here. Thanks to that, Emilia waited with brightening eyes, expecting Subaru's answer without any hint of suspicion.
Having failed to overcome the "Trial" at the tomb, Emilia was trying to protect her heart by placing it entirely in Subaru's keeping.
It was a natural outcome.
Using "Return by Death," Subaru had removed every obstacle in Emilia's path — perfectly, completely. Taking advantage of Emilia's obedience to his words, he had gained her trust, and had been coasting on that ever since.
He had only realized that Emilia's heart had become fixated on his existence and was in a dangerously unstable state after he could no longer return to the Sanctuary, no matter how many times he repeated "Return by Death."
Even so, Subaru did not consider this the worst situation.
"Then here's my request, Emilia-tan. For today, same as yesterday — keep studying! Next time something big comes up, I'll let you know in advance."
"Like with Priestella?"
"Right, like with Priestella. Until then, conserve your energy. Preparing yourself and growing stronger for emergencies — that's the most important thing for you right now."
"Mmm, yes, understood, Mr. Subaru! I'll follow your instructions perfectly. So — "
Playing along with Subaru's slightly teasing performance, Emilia matched his energy. The gesture — half-salute, half-formal acceptance — came with a moment of hesitation before her final words: "— So if I do it properly, you'll pat my head?"
"———"
Gazing up at Subaru from beneath her lashes, speaking with a mix of anxiety and shyness.
At the sight of her, Subaru caught his breath. A moment of stillness. Had that moment lasted just a few more heartbeats, there was no difficulty imagining despair crossing Emilia's eyes.
But thankfully, Subaru formed a smile before that could happen: "Of course! If anything, I want to ask your permission to touch your hair legally, Emilia-tan."
"— ? If Subaru wants to touch it, I'll let you anytime..."
"Tha-at's exactly why I can't! That's a reward too. The rule is: when something good happens. That's the deal. Same as the head-pats. Okay?"
"Kay, o-kay."
Emilia nodded along clumsily as Subaru confirmed with a thumbs-up and a grin. She lingered reluctantly, their hands still overlapping — "Well, I'm heading back to my room."
"Mm. Petra will bring food. Let's eat together."
"Okay, I'll be waiting. See you later."
Waving goodbye, Emilia returned to her room. — Watching her short silver hair sway with a lonely air, Subaru managed to hold back his sigh until the very end.
The door closed with a soft sound, severing the physical connection between Subaru and Emilia.
*'Honestly, there's a limit to how ugly this can get.'* "———"
The instant Emilia was out of sight, Echidna began her complaints. At the witch's venom-laced words, Subaru said nothing.
Saying nothing, not engaging — that was how he had learned to handle the witch's caustic side when it came to Emilia.
Not speaking. Not letting her speak.
As Subaru maintained that stubborn stance, the witch gave up on wasting her breath.
When it came to Emilia, Echidna was absolutely unreliable.
And Subaru and Emilia's relationship — it looked the same as before, but had become something else entirely — and there was no time to fix it now.
*'Having a puppet who does whatever you say is convenient for your goals, isn't it?'* "——!"
At that cruel observation, Subaru's throat tightened. He regretted having reacted.
It was a statement that should not be affirmed, but one that could not be denied.
Protecting life. Protecting the future. Protecting hope. Protecting possibility.
For that, he was sacrificing Emilia's "now."
And Subaru was fully aware that it didn't stop with Emilia.
--- Declining to join the full-camp breakfast in the dining hall, Petra — who had been assigned food duty — looked disappointed, but she still brought Subaru and Emilia their meals to their rooms.
During the meal, Subaru steadied Emilia several times as she wavered mentally, and when breakfast was over, Emilia, true to Subaru's instructions, headed obediently to her desk.
"I have to follow Subaru's instructions and become a proper queen."
Cheering on Emilia's determination, Subaru left her room.
Taking over part of Roswaal's duties as lord, Emilia's knowledge regarding the Royal Selection was incomparable to what it had been when they first met. The fruits of her effort were being proven day by day.
But — *'No matter what you do, she always ends up asking for your approval in the end. She'll make for a very interesting queen.'* "Shut up."
*'You share that unease. Whether it's truly fine to place someone like her on the throne — you're constantly wavering. I know that. But you have no choice.'* Leaving Emilia's room and walking along the mansion's corridors, Echidna dripped her poison.
That Emilia had become mentally unstable and her ambition from the start of the Royal Selection had been shaken — that was fact. And yet, she would sit on the throne of Lugunica.
Because none other than Natsuki Subaru would make it so.
By repeating "Return by Death," eliminating every hardship from her path, and defeating whatever obstacle stood in the way — Emilia's ambition would be fulfilled.
And doing so also led to saving Rem.
Supporting Emilia, saving Rem, shielding the people close to him from suffering. — Was that not the very future Subaru had wished for when he struck a contract with the witch?
— I'm sorry, Natsuki-kun. This is where we part.
"———"
Suddenly — not through his eardrums, but through his memory — a voice shook Subaru's feet to a stop.
Turning around, looking everywhere, no one was there. Not the witch's malicious prank, nor her thought-wave — this was something else. A voice from his memory.
The voice continued.
— You see, Natsuki-kun. I thought of you as a benefactor. Someone to whom I owed a great debt, someone I wanted to repay however I could.
The voice continued.
— But seeing your resolve, I understood. You're not asking anyone for help. More than that, you're trying to handle everything yourself — and you can actually do it.
The voice continued.
— So this is my way of repaying the debt. I'm sure you're going to desperately try to protect everyone around you all at once, so I'm going to step back.
The voice continued.
— Well then, goodbye, Natsuki-kun. Take care of yourself.
The voice continued.
— I thought of you as a friend.
The voice continued.
— I know you didn't feel the same way.
"—!"
The instant those final words echoed in his mind, Subaru slammed his fist against the wall with all his might. The hard sound rang through the corridor, and his knuckles split apart in a bloody mess.
Blood seeping from his fist, Subaru gasped and grabbed his head with his other hand.
Those were unmistakably the words
After the Sanctuary, after defeating the Great Rabbit, after rescuing Beatrice from the burning mansion — having navigated all of it through his experience alone, Subaru had seen Otto leave the mansion like that.
Otto's retreating back, even after more than a year, still refused to fade.
It was as though he were condemning Subaru for choosing to save everyone.
*'But you didn't stop him. In fact, having fewer people to protect must have been a relief for you too.'* "That's not why. I didn't stop him for some calculating reason. I just respected his decision. Besides, he had no reason to stay here in the first place."
The purchase of cargo, and the debt of gratitude for being rescued from the Witch Cult.
But the debt of gratitude had been repaid when Otto had helped save Emilia — the one who was about to be blown up by a time-delay device — by racing ahead in the dragon carriage.
As for the cargo, once a fair price had been paid, that debt too was settled.
Otto Suwen had no reason whatsoever to continue cooperating with Emilia's camp.
If he chose to stay without any such reason, it would only be because this place offered him something more compelling than continuing life as a traveling merchant.
That was why Subaru hadn't stopped him when he decided to leave. Besides, Otto's "Blessing of Words" was useful but not indispensable for winning the Royal Selection.
Continuing to associate with Emilia's camp carried risks from both the "Royal Selection" and the "Witch Cult." Leaving was better for Otto.
He hadn't heard any news since. Their acquaintance had lasted only about two weeks, after all. It wasn't a deep bond.
Natsuki Subaru had other people to throw his life away for.
"———"
Trampling the dripping blood beneath his shoe, Subaru shook his head and walked on.
Lately, too many thoughts were being forced into his mind over things that couldn't be helped. Annoying. Infuriating. And above all, Echidna seemed to be enjoying it.
There were infinite things to think about. He had no time to waste dwelling inside his own head.
He had to choose the optimal, the best, the finest, the greatest, the most — .
And yet — "———"
Hurrying through the corridor, Subaru returned to his room. He couldn't let anyone see his current face, even by accident.
Natsuki Subaru was calm, rational, optimistic, and no different from usual.
He had to make everyone in the mansion believe that. Otherwise, he couldn't protect what mattered.
"— Oh my, you seem to have rushed back in quite a state."
Entering the room and locking the door behind him, Subaru looked up at the voice from inside.
The "woman in black" seated on the bed smiled radiantly, gently brushing her long black hair — braided into three plaits — behind her ear.
"I was supposed to arrive on time, so there's no need to glare at me so."
"——Elsa."
"Yes.
With that, the beautiful woman — one who wore a black outfit that left nothing of her feminine form to the imagination, whose bewitching beauty carried a venomous edge — tilted her head with an alluring gesture. Elsa.
The woman who had silently infiltrated the bedroom, arriving before him — Subaru accepted her presence with equanimity after the initial surprise.
Of course. She was no enemy. Not someone he could let his guard down around, but an ally nonetheless.
After all — "I went to the trouble of pulling you out of a burning mansion. I expect you to earn your keep."
"I know. I have no complaints about you, my current employer. I choose my commissions within the bounds of my preferences... and so far, no complaints."
Drawing the kukri knife at her hip and letting it catch the light with a dull gleam, Elsa smiled.
She had been offered a role as a shadow operative within the camp.
Emilia — the camp's figurehead, a symbol that must remain untarnished.
Reinhard — as the "Sword Saint," one with an unshakable public reputation.
And Natsuki Subaru — who had defused numerous crises with zero casualties.
For Subaru and the others, who couldn't move freely under their bright public profiles, Elsa took on the dirty work. Of course, "dirty work" didn't necessarily mean anything underhanded — "So? How did it go?"
"Unfortunately, Gluttony wasn't at the base you told me about. All I found were Witch Cult rabble... I let them go, every last one."
"Yeah. You can do what you like with those. ...So it was a dead end?"
At Elsa's report, Subaru grimaced and exhaled.
A dead end. Again. He had tried so many times to catch the Archbishop of Gluttony, and every time he came up empty.
"In the end, the only one I managed to take out was Greed."
"And I captured Wrath. It was a success, I think — though for you, perhaps it wasn't."
"...Anyway, I've got your report. For now, just stay on standby. When I need something, I'll reach out."
"Very well. — I'll be waiting, then."
Subaru dismissed her with that curt instruction. She rose without concern and moved toward the window.
Subaru's room was on the third floor of the mansion — had she come in through the window? An acrobatic feat like that was nothing surprising — "Ah, wait, Elsa. There's something I want to know."
"— ? What might that be? I'm not much for complicated things."
"Nothing that complicated. Since you came from outside — how's the weather beyond the woods? Any rain I should worry about?"
"Weather? No, nothing to report. The clouds are a bit thicker, but I don't think it'll break. Why?"
"No reason..."
Tilting his head, Subaru looked at the magic crystal in his room. The time was already mid-morning — past the seventh hour of the sun's arc, well into daytime.
Having confirmed that, Subaru approached the window frame where Elsa stood and said: "I've got something I need you to do. — Use that knife to take off my head."
"— You're not going mad, are you?"
"I'm perfectly serious. I'm asking because it's necessary."
Subaru's unprecedented request made Elsa's eyes go wide — then her killing intent surged. But even bathed in it, Subaru's posture didn't change one bit.
At his unwavering composure, Elsa shrugged.
"If we're being practical, decapitation usually results in death."
"I'm pretty sure that applies to me too. Can't speak for you."
"I'm fairly certain I'd also die if beheaded. ...Are you absolutely certain?"
"When I first saved you, I told you this. — There was one favor I'd ask of you that had nothing to do with any commission. This is that moment."
At Subaru's repeated request, Elsa narrowed her eyes. Then she drew her own kukri and sent its keen blade spinning through her palm.
"Any last words?"
"Don't make it hurt."
"———"
"Ah, and after I'm dead, you can do whatever you like with my guts, but don't lay a finger on anyone in the mansion. That's why I've got Reinhard on — "
Before Subaru could finish the sentence, Elsa's arm had already cut through the air.
In a single instant, Subaru's vision flipped cleanly. As it spun, taking in the room, he watched his own familiar quarters be drenched in blood — — Ah, I've really put Petra to trouble with the room cleanup.
Thinking that, Subaru's life snapped out like a candle.
--- When he woke from the empty dream, Subaru always felt a suffocating sensation.
But the release from it was quicker this time.
Probably because Natsuki Subaru had been reconstructed in a form different from a normal waking from sleep.
"———"
Bolting upright, Subaru pressed a hand to his damp forehead. The cold moisture was less a night sweat and more the oily residue of the shock of death.
In any case, Subaru's body was on the sofa in his room, and sunlight streamed through the window.
"Morning, huh..."
Touching the neck that should have been severed, Subaru slowly stood. He twisted his neck, confirming that his head didn't accidentally fall off, then checked the time on the magic crystal above the door.
The crystal glowed a faint green, indicating early morning.
The question was — which morning.
"———"
To confirm, Subaru touched his pendant. The black crystal connected by a chain — it was like a pass connecting his reality with the fortress of dreams.
Heat and pulsation flowed from the crystal he gripped. When that synced with his heartbeat, what awaited him was a white light and proof that the world had changed.
"———"
Opening his eyes, Subaru once again stood in the center of that vast grassland.
Behind him rose the hill, and beneath the parasol by the garden, the witch in black tilted her cup with elegant grace.
Climbing the hill, Subaru headed toward the witch.
"Hey, today — "
"———"
He bit into her as she rested her hands on the table, continuing her elegant tea time. But she didn't answer — simply pointed quietly to the seat across from her.
There was an empty chair and a freshly brewed cup of tea for the guest. And it was the minimum condition she had presented to Subaru for participating in the tea party — "Fuck, fine, I'll drink it! I'll drink!"
Clicking his tongue, Subaru snatched the cup and drained it in one gulp. The scalding heat of the freshly brewed tea hit his throat — "Gubbah—!?"
"Waah—!? Hold on, hold on! That's a bit much even for you, isn't it?!"
"Shut up! It's because you insist on playing hard-to-get witch and making me jump through hoops that it's come to this — cough, hack, bleh —!"
As Subaru choked and spat tea, even Echidna scrambled to her feet. She placed a hand on his back and rubbed until the coughing subsided.
After a while, when Subaru had recovered — "Aah — tea?"
"No, I'll pass this time. I'd rather not have my freshly brewed tea thrown back up again. Besides, it's a shame to leave the table dirty."
Wiping his mouth, Subaru prepared to try again, but Echidna shook her head.
The witch looked at the table soiled with Subaru's expectoration, then lightly snapped her fingers. The table dissolved like melting, turning to dust and vanishing.
"Good grief, some got on the chair too. I don't often have someone make me stand for a conversation... You really are a troublemaker."
"I just choked and spat it out. — More importantly, we need to talk."
Cutting through Echidna's teasing words, Subaru raised a finger.
There was one thing he needed to confirm.
"Today — what day is it? The fourteenth of Kišdam... that's correct, isn't it?"
"———"
"Echidna?"
"Just testing your patience. If you're too hasty, things tend to slip through your fingers."
"— Echidna."
The witch's games were something Subaru had no patience for. At his words, Echidna shrugged: "It's correct. You can relax. Your death brought you back to the morning of the current day. It seems this time's anchor point has been fixed to this morning. Did you have some reason to be sure?"
Answering Subaru's question, Echidna posed one of her own.
Meanwhile, Subaru was relieved to confirm that his "Return by Death" had returned him to the same morning. And in the comfort of that, he shook his head: "No, not really. I was bracing for the worst — that I'd end up back at the last save point."
"The last one would be two months ago. That's quite the bold gamble."
"Could be. It's weird, thinking that even Elsa is surprised every time."
That said, for an employer to suddenly order her to kill him, even the pleasure-killer Elsa would be right to question his sanity.
And yet, she managed to cut through her hesitation quickly every time — she was extraordinarily skilled as a "Return by Death" device.
"But the fact that this time's 'Return by Death' was to this morning — that's the thing, huh."
"Indeed. And that means... there's bound to be another problem arising soon."
At Subaru's grim statement, Echidna closed her eyes in agreement.
The start of "Return by Death," the migration of the save point — for Natsuki Subaru, these were omens of an ordeal that could not be surmounted without "Return by Death."
And that meant — "I'll need to borrow your power again."
"That's what the contract is for. Besides, there's nothing I can do to lend you power beyond what we've been doing. — At most, nagging you here is all I can manage."
"That nagging has saved my skin more times than I can count."
"...You shouldn't try to roll a witch around in your palm. If you make it look that easy, it'll be bad for the reputation of the other witches."
Echidna looked away, running a finger through her long hair, and let that slip with a hint of embarrassment. It wasn't the sort of thing that set Subaru's heart racing, but he did feel as though he'd witnessed something endearing on the eve of battle.
"Anyway, I'm counting on you, 'Witch of Greed.'"
"Glad to hear it. I'm counting on your efforts in turn. If possible, it would be nice if you cooperated a bit more to satisfy my curiosity..."
"I'll pass. If I went along with your infinite curiosity, my sanity would run dry in no time. Who has the energy to test that many infinite possibilities?"
"That's a shame."
With a playful gesture, Echidna spoke — and the tea break before the new battle was over.
The save point had shifted in an unexpected way, but in a sense, this could be taken as having gained the initiative.
"A 'Return by Death' that keeps getting attacked first — and now it's finally on the offensive."
Murmuring that, Subaru descended the hill and headed for the door that would return him to reality.
At his back, Echidna raised her voice slightly: "Oh, by the way."
"Hm?"
"If you didn't realize the save point had changed, why did you bother with 'Return by Death' at all?"
"Yeah. That's — "
It was — --- Passing through the door of the dream world, Natsuki Subaru's consciousness returned to reality.
"———"
Looking up at the door, the magic crystal's time had not changed from before. Once again unused to the difference between real time and experienced time, Subaru headed to the washroom.
He washed his face, brushed his teeth, struggled with the smile formation, then quickly changed clothes.
And just as he had finished — "— Subaru-sama, are you awake?"
A knock sounded from outside the room, and Subaru rose from the sofa, thinking it was right on time. Then he reached for the door and opened it himself.
"Wow."
"Yo, morning, Petra. Cute as ever today."
The sudden door opening made Petra's eyes go round. But she quickly caught on to Subaru's prank and smiled bashfully.
"Don't scare me like that!"
"Sorry, sorry. Hey, Petra — aren't you going to greet me?"
"You really should reflect on your behavior. Honestly... Good morning, Subaru-sama. It's a pleasant morning again today."
Ignoring Subaru's flippancy, Petra smiled sweetly and continued. The words were exactly the same as the morning before "Return by Death."
If that was the case, her next words would be the same too.
"Pleasant morning — I couldn't agree more. Getting to see Petra's cute face first thing in the morning, I'm completely satisfied."
"There you go again, Subaru-sama, saying things like that... But the sky beyond the woods is clouded over, and the weather might turn after noon. We're planning a shopping trip in town today, so I hope it stays sunny."
At the girl voicing that wish, the hint of her age peeking through her words, Subaru almost laughed. Seeing that, Petra puffed out her cheeks, and Subaru, prefacing with "sorry, sorry," said: "But don't worry, Petra. Today's going to be sunny all day long. The clouds are all bark and no bite — no problems. I guarantee it."
"Really? That's such a relief. ...But how do you know?"
"Well, of course..."
At Subaru's confident declaration, Petra tilted her head with round eyes.
To the girl's question, Subaru bared his teeth in a grin and said: "— Because I risked my life to come back and make sure of it."
--- In the habitual setting — the green grassland, the small hill fragrant with the garden's flowers, the white parasol and white table — a girl impossibly white, dressed in black mourning attire, elegantly tilted her cup.
Savoring the warm tea on her tongue, the witch exhaled with an air of陶然 and murmured: "Sacrificing one's own life — to save someone, to protect someone, to spare someone from harm. That is a noble, dignified act, one that deserves praise from all. And to take on that grueling, repeated ordeal not just once, but over and over... if anything, that only makes it more worthy of admiration."
Pressing a hand to her chest, the witch thought of the boy with whom she had formed a contract.
Desperately pursuing his ideals, battered by reality but refusing to stop fighting — the lovable human who had made "Return by Death," the most terrible of supernatural abilities, his own, and struggled on.
"— But using 'Return by Death' to sacrifice one's own life to protect those around you is a double-edged sword. By placing too little value on your own life, you've become fixated on the value of lives other than your own. Because you can no longer find value in your own life, you've become desperately focused on protecting the lives of those precious to you... and now your gaze can't reach beyond the lives of those precious people. That's where it goes, endlessly."
Endlessly, endlessly — clinging to that single focus was just too foolish.
And to be foolish was to be ignorant. And to be ignorant was to be capable of learning.
"— You are truly, to me, the most delightful person."
Blushing like a girl in love, the witch thought of the boy who was not here.
Through the crystal, through his gate, the world was transmitted with perfect clarity. And the hardships that fell upon him broke him — and each time, without realizing it, he grew more dependent on the witch.
He thought he was keeping his mind strong, thought he was resisting the witch's temptation — even as he became a puppet.
So willing to repeat "Return by Death" just to check something as trivial as the weather — without even noticing the state his mind had reached.
"But please, rest assured. The lives of those precious to you — I will devote every ounce of my wisdom to protecting them. And for that, you — "
— Continue to be my accomplice, to satisfy the witch's inexhaustible curiosity.
Hardships, unjust fate — they would continue to fall upon the boy again and again.
No matter how painful, no matter how high the wall — the boy and the witch would join hands, lending each other strength and wisdom, and overcome them.
That was the burning "eye" the "Witch of Greed" had offered.
"Ah, and yet — "
Feeling, through the boy's gate, the people whom the boy had raced to protect, and the people who had been protected by the boy, whose hearts bore so many wounds — the witch sighed.
It was an eternal riddle, one that even death could not solve — a mystery that held her captive and would not release her.
Ah, and yet — "— Why does love diminish?"
In the end, the story was this: if Natsuki Subaru took Natsuki Subaru lightly, then he would start treating his own life carelessly, and protecting others' lives would become an excuse, and he would start to neglect everything beyond those lives.
Incidentally, regarding this route — as readers of Chapter Four and beyond will know, a certain character [Hint: a witch!] is lying through her teeth.
If your takeaway is "Witches are so full of crap!" — then job well done.
But officially, this is what the original author is doing behind the scenes while running a cat café.