It was supposed to be his signature look — his cool, composed expression. But ever since coming to this world, he couldn't recall a single time that look had actually served its purpose as a "cool expression."
Off the top of his head, it had worked when he'd managed to ask
— Though now that he thought about it, those were pretty important moments, and it had done its job there.
Conceding that much to himself, he reflected that, well, for the current scene, it probably wasn't the right expression for the occasion. Still frozen in his grin, Subaru went ahead and committed his brazen act in the middle of the deathly silent hall.
Once he'd started, he couldn't be the one to back down. He would watch the other party's reaction carefully and then plan his follow-up — that was Subaru's minimum standard of pride as an entertainer. Except he wasn't one.
That resolution, benefiting absolutely no one whatsoever, was interrupted — "Wh— you gotta be kidding me!?"
A sharp, hard impact slammed into the back of his skull, cutting him off with a strangled cry. Stars burst across his vision and his knees buckled instantly. The heavy thud of something solid and weighty hitting the floor right beside him told his brain, faster than thought, that he had been struck.
Then, forgetting the pain in a surge of fury, Subaru spun around with tears in his eyes and — "What the hell is your problem?! I just declared myself Emilia-tan's number one knight AND I've been under Roswaal's care, and you knew full well that Reinhard is my buddy, and you STILL pull this crap?!"
"Everything about that was asking for help from others!?"
Spittle flew as Subaru raged. Someone tossed a retort at the absurdly outsourced nature of his outburst, but even that didn't register in Subaru's ears right now.
A good portion of his anger was really just trying to cover for how he'd seized on the shift in atmosphere to do something smooth — and failed. But that didn't mean he wasn't genuinely furious about having cold water thrown on his declaration of resolve.
It had taken real courage for Subaru to say what he said.
The way he'd worked himself up was a bit unhinged, and the reactions from those around him were nothing like what he'd hoped for — so much so that his heart was on the verge of breaking. Still, he wanted to at least praise himself — that was undoubtedly the essence of what had driven him forward.
And the person who had thrown cold water on that resolve was — "In the end, it was even some kind of Shamac-plus-Dempsey-Roll combination! And it was Emilia-tan?!"
Spotting the silver-haired girl pointing her palm in his direction, Subaru stomped toward her with considerable force and unloaded.
What lay on the ground right beside him turned out to be a chunk of ice as big as a person. It was so large it was a miracle it hadn't split his head open. Once it had served its purpose, it dissolved into mist and dispersed into the air.
Watching it vanish, Subaru couldn't hide his shock at this unexpected betrayal. But the tremor in Emilia's eyes as she looked back at him was far more intense.
She waved her hands frantically — the same hand she'd been pointing at him — and stammered: "N-no! I mean, I just — I thought I had to calm you down somehow, so before I knew it..."
"To the back of the head?! What kind of thinking is that?! You're like some heroine from an old manga! Emilia-tan is my eternal heroine, though!"
"Hi-ro...? Oh, forget it, this isn't the time for that — just apologize already! I'll apologize together with you."
"No way!"
Apologizing together with a parental figure when you've done something wrong — Subaru considered that not sincerity but cowardice. He reflected that being appealed to through maternal instincts versus being treated entirely as a ward were superficially similar but actually quite different. With that conviction, he flatly refused to participate in anything so pathetic.
At a gathering of the kingdom's most powerful figures, the two of them carried on their usual back-and-forth.
Most of the audience stared wide-mouthed, unable to hide their astonishment. On the other hand: "He actually did it—!!"
"AHAHAHA! Look at that, Al! What a fool — what a magnificent fool!"
The most arrogant lord and retainer pair pointed at Subaru, one clutching his head and the other doubled over in laughter.
"From what I saw of the actual spellcasting, the time from incantation to activation was quite fast. She really is remarkably capable after all."
"Ugh, Lady Crusch, you always zero in on the most impressive things like some kind of battle-crazed — !"
Meanwhile, the lord-and-retainer pair whose personalities were gender-reversed — one praised Emilia's aptitude as a magic user, while the other was too busy squirming at her master's thinking to care.
"Ah, so that brother really has gone off the deep end, as I suspected."
"So that's how it is. Subaru, you are Emilia-sama's..."
The two who still hadn't quite settled into a proper lord-retainer dynamic — one described Subaru's behavior with a rather rude remark, while the other somehow looked understanding and convinced.
And then — "Huh, I thought some weirdly dressed kid had snuck in there, but turns out she was that demon girl's companion. ...Hey, what's wrong with Julius?"
"Oh, it's just — yes, there's something I find rather concerning."
In response to the distinctive way of speaking, the finest knight among them closed one eye meaningfully and went quiet. He remained silent, choosing to wait.
Watching how each of the candidates received the situation without letting the atmosphere fluster them, it was clear they all possessed nerves quite different from ordinary people.
The result was an exchange between Subaru and Emilia that starkly highlighted the mental gap between the candidates and everyone else.
Of course, the two of them had no such awareness, carrying on their argument as always without noticing anyone's reactions.
"You always, always hide behind words I don't understand. Just because I'm a little sheltered doesn't mean I'll keep letting you trick me like that."
"Trick you sounds terrible! My heart is always running full-tilt toward True, beelining straight down your route toward Together!"
"Oh, Emilia-saaaaama, Subaruuuu-kun."
As Emilia turned away with her arms crossed, Subaru stomped his feet desperately trying to win her back. When their verbal sparring ground to a halt, who should barge in but Roswaal, with his characteristically drawling call: "Emilia-saaaaama, Subaruuuu-kun."
Both of them turned toward the voice with just a glance, and Roswaal, wordlessly, made a sweeping gesture that seemed to encompass the entire hall.
"...ah."
"...oh."
Only at that point did they finally realize that the atmosphere in the hall had descended into utter chaos.
For Subaru, who was paradoxically sensitive to atmosphere precisely when he couldn't read it, the current situation was a familiar predicament — something like "oops, did it again, hehe." But Emilia's pale-faced panic was on an entirely different level.
Her already fair skin had drained of every last trace of color. She immediately looked up toward the podium, and as she turned, she grabbed Subaru's ear and forced his head in the same direction: "We are terribly sorry for the disturbance."
"Ow ow ow ow! That hurts! You'll rip my ear off! Take it — when you take — if you take — it'll come — offfff—!!"
With Emilia bowing while still pinching his ear, Subaru was dragged into bowing along with her.
Though Subaru had been reduced to a half-crying state twice in rapid succession, he somehow wriggled free from her grip and frantically rubbed the injured ear: "I'm telling you, ears are one of the parts of the body you can't toughen up! You need to be more careful with them — it'll be too late once they're actually ripped off!"
"Doesn't the fact that this happened mean you weren't listening to anything I said before? If you're going to be useless anyway, wouldn't it be better if they were actually torn off?"
"Just because I'm panicking doesn't give you the right to be that harsh! For the record, when it comes to eyes, ears, nose, throat, and various sensory functions, I'm confident I'd get a grade-A double-A rating!"
The problem was just that his brain and personality didn't cooperate in making full use of those faculties.
Judging Subaru's statement — based on health checkups from his old world — as his usual nonsense, Emilia didn't press further and continued her apology to the Council of Wise Men.
She closed her eyes briefly, then composed her expression into something serious and looked up at the elders: "In any case, please forget what was said just now. This boy... he is an acquaintance of mine, and while he is indeed a retainer of Margrave Roswaal, as I was saying before..."
"Wait, wait, wait, wait! I'm telling you, I've got a real problem with being erased from the record!"
But as Emilia tried to wrap things up, Subaru cut in once more to stop her.
She fixed him with a gaze that was — well, it was more pleading than actually fierce — and said: "Please, just be quiet. I know you feel terrible about it and can't back down gracefully, but if that's the case, then at least for now just..."
"I'm not talking nonsense because I've given up or anything! I wouldn't have the guts to spout empty words in a place like this if I didn't mean every word!"
Unable to believe in any of Subaru's earlier declaration, Emilia pressed on — and raised her voice in insistence. Even Emilia, after all, couldn't maintain that unyielding posture in the face of his attitude.
Or perhaps, seeing Subaru fall silent, she thought the conversation had been interrupted. From the podium — where Miklotov had been maintaining his silence — a small cough sounded: "That young man seems rather determined. Hm. And what is Margrave Roswaal's view on the matter?"
As he spoke, he directed the conversation toward Roswaal while stroking his beard. Roswaal, looking rather skeptical, replied with a grin: "Well, each of the royal candidates has a knight they trust by their side. Among them, I had been rather concerned that Emilia-sama alone had no one in such a position. After all, my own position in that regard is somewhat... awkward, wouldn't you say?"
"Exactly, exactly, right? Right?"
"Roswaal!"
At Roswaal's deliberately coyness, Subaru clenched his fists and cheered "EXACTLY, EXACTLY!" while Emilia shot a reprimand his way.
Still smiling, Roswaal continued: "However, that is not to say just anyone will do. If one claims to be a knight — and moreover, the first knight of someone who may one day become king — then one must demonstrate the requisite qualifications."
"Exactly, exactly!"
"Roswaal!"
This time it was Emilia who agreed with Roswaal, while Subaru spat his displeasure in the form of a name.
Roswaal looked on with a pleased smile at their diametrically opposite reactions, then turned his gaze up to the Council of Wise Men: "The qualifications to be a first knight — loyalty to one's lord, or the power to protect one's liege's life. Something to clear the path for a lord advancing toward the throne. If there's nothing of the sort..."
"— That alone is not sufficient, Margrave Roswaal."
A voice cut into Roswaal's eloquent speech — the voice of the purple-haired young man who had been standing with one eye closed, turning to look with his remaining yellow eye. This was Julius.
During Subaru and Emilia's exchange, he had been the only one to lower his eyes thoughtfully. Now he stepped forward, offered a graceful bow, and spoke: "I apologize for interrupting, but I'm afraid there is something I simply must ask this person over there."
He gestured toward — who else but Subaru.
Being singled out, Subaru scowled and prepared to meet the elegant young man's advance head-on. He had never had a good impression of Julius, and nothing in the Royal Selection had changed that. To put it bluntly, he was someone Subaru disliked.
The type of annoying, pretentious, aristocratic bore — that was the impression Subaru couldn't shake of Julius. And Julius received even the darkening of Subaru's expression as casually as a light breeze.
"There's no need to be so guarded. I have only one question, and once it's answered, you can go about your business."
His words sounded as though he was being considerate of Subaru's feelings, but his expression was deadly serious, and Subaru's own face naturally tightened to match.
"What's with that suuuuper weird face? It's rude to make a face like that when the other person is being serious."
"I've just been gravely wounded — !"
Hit where he hadn't expected by her innocent remark, Subaru nearly crumpled. But Julius didn't comment on his reaction: "This buffoonish act doesn't befit this occasion — if you truly claim to be Emilia-sama's knight."
"...And what exactly do you mean by that?"
"Exactly what I said."
With one eye closed, Julius looked Subaru up and down. Subaru moved his hands to shield certain areas from that gaze — though most people wouldn't have understood the gesture. The only one who got it was probably Al, who was shaking his head as if to say he couldn't watch this anymore.
He wanted to retort to his countryman's attitude, but more pressing was figuring out what this man in front of him was after.
"Sorry, I'm not great at taking hints. Back home, I scored an E on the Airid exam. So just be clear, dumb it down, and spell it out for me."
Digging his ear, Subaru responded with terrible manners. Julius ignored his discourtesy, touching his own bangs with an infuriatingly graceful gesture: "Do you realize what you've done, Subaru? You just declared yourself a knight — right here, where the knights of the Royal Guard of the
With an open hand, Julius gesturing to the line of knights standing behind him.
At his words, the knights in formation simultaneously straightened their posture, stamped the ground in perfect unison, and raised their swords in salute.
Overwhelmed by the sheer force of it, Subaru leaned back and, trying to maintain his bravado, muttered: "Hh... I can hardly believe these are the same guys who were scared stiff just because of how Emilia-tan walks."
"You go too far. Knights attend to even the smallest details because they understand the value and meaning of everything they are sworn to protect. Do you have the resolve to do the same?"
Subaru's brave but insulting remark about the knights' dignity was seamlessly rewritten into something flattering by Julius's deft touch. It felt like he was being cornered, which wasn't pleasant, but more importantly, the question was loaded.
In front of these knights — knights who had been insulted — Subaru, who had just declared himself one of them.
With the dignity of the Royal Knights behind him, Julius asked Subaru to prove the sincerity and resolve behind his self-proclaimed title.
In other words, Subaru was being tested.
— Yes, tested on the depth of his feelings for Emilia!
"Then why are you staring at me like that?"
"Reconfirming my resolve and making sure my knees don't shake."
Emilia furrowed her brows as if she didn't understand, yet she couldn't hide her concern as she watched Subaru facing Julius. Subaru tapped his chest to reassure her, cleared his throat, and turned back to the questioning Julius: "So what you're asking is... *cough*... my resolve..."
"Take your time. Unfortunately, there's no water available here."
Giving Subaru an unexpected reprieve without any condescension, Julius waited. Subaru gratefully bought time while rubbing his throat, running simulations of his response through his mind.
Given that Subaru was already known as Emilia's acquaintance, anything he did from this point forward would either raise or lower her value. He could already feel that his hot-headed outburst had probably docked some points, so he needed to be more careful from here on.
After all, Emilia had gone to great lengths — even putting on a show of force that didn't suit her at all — to make this scene work.
Subaru absolutely could not be the one to drag her down.
He only wished, with all his heart, to always be what was best for her.
Right then. Steeling himself, Subaru cleared his throat and put an end to his stalling. He slapped both cheeks to psych himself up, swaying from the force of it, and faced Julius once more.
Julius waited with perfect composure, one hand resting on his head as if smoothing hair that wasn't out of place despite the absence of any breeze in the room.
Matching that elegance with his own brand of flair, Subaru did a small hop to spread his stance, cracked all ten fingers, and pointed finger-guns at his opponent: "You got it, I'll answer you sharp, snappy, crisp, and clean. Oh, sorry to keep you waiting."
His energy crashed almost immediately, drawing a momentary frown from Julius. But rather than get swept into Subaru's pace, Julius simply closed his eyes and shook his head: "No, it's fine. Then let us resume this exchange of question and answer. I will ask, you will answer. — Whether you are fit to be a knight, whether you have the right to call yourself one before us."
The question was a rehash of before — no, behind Julius, the knights who had been made to wait even longer were now all the more eager for an answer.
Feeling the increased pressure like a gale-force wind, Subaru licked his increasingly dry lips: "I'm fully aware I lack ability. I can barely swing a sword, and my magic is worse than a beginner's. I'm no financial genius either, and I have no hidden mysterious powers. If you apply the conditions Roswaal just laid out, I come up completely short. Obviously."
Short on ability, short on everything — he knew it all.
Throwing a tantrum wouldn't change reality.
Every skill he'd cultivated in his life up to this point — none of it would serve as a light to illuminate Emilia's path. He knew that much.
Hearing this answer, Julius let a hint of puzzlement cross his refined features.
It was only natural. Having grandly declared his intentions in this venue, the man who made such a grand declaration had just loudly proclaimed his own incompetence and delivered what sounded like a clear capitulation.
Disappointment — or perhaps something simpler — rose in Julius's eyes.
But — "Still, you brought up loyalty and devotion and whatnot. Yeah, I definitely don't have the ability — it's laughable. But even so."
He turned to look at Emilia standing behind him.
She had been watching him with worried eyes. How had she felt receiving his gaze? With lips pressed tight, looking either angry or on the verge of tears, she silently awaited his next words.
Drawing courage from that sight, Subaru faced Julius once more and — "I know it's not quite the right word, but I want to make Emilia-tan... Emilia-sama into a king. No — I will make her into a king. Not by anyone else's hand, but by mine."
"...Don't you think that's an exceedingly arrogant answer?"
Julius sighed as though he'd just heard a fairy tale: "You bemoan your lack of ability, you're aware of your shortcomings on every front. And in this very place, you weren't even given the right to speak. And yet you presume to touch on the heart of matters of state? — Aren't you getting ahead of yourself?"
Holding up a finger, Julius continued as though instructing the silent Subaru: "People are born with a certain role. You might call it capacity. A person cannot obtain anything beyond their own capacity. Nor should they seek to. The honor of 'knight' that you so carelessly invoked is the same."
Julius drew the knight's sword at his hip and struck the scabbard's tip against the floor with a sharp crack. The hard, piercing sound echoed through the hall, and a heartbeat later, the knights behind him echoed the same sound. The overlapping strikes reinforced Julius's authority, and, backed by the knights' support — "What is demanded of a knight is loyalty to lord and kingdom, and the power to protect what one holds dear. These are indispensable. Neither can be absent in one who claims the title. But I believe there is something else equally important."
"————"
At Julius's probing question, Subaru remained silent.
He, too, wasn't looking for an answer. He simply wanted to voice what was in his heart. In fact, he shook his head and spoke before Subaru could even reply: "What I believe a knight cannot lack — is history."
"History...?"
It was Emilia who repeated the word with a tilted head. Julius answered her respectfully: "I bear the lineage of the Juukulius family, a house of barons who have served the Kingdom of Lugunica for generations. Those of us with noble titles take pride in having supported and protected this nation."
Waving his arm with a flourish that sent his sleeve snapping, he gestured behind him.
The knights standing in line behind him raised their heads proudly and stamped their feet in agreement.
"Only those of confirmed lineage are recommended for the Royal Guard. This is not due to exclusionary thinking that clings to bloodline — it is because confirmed lineage speaks to the weight of history serving the kingdom. It is the accumulated history that upholds our pride as knights."
Therefore, he continued: "In this kingdom of Lugunica, you — whose very origin is unconfirmed — and the man called Al, I cannot recognize as knights. Let alone as the first knight to serve the king."
"That's not something the person themselves can help, is it?!"
"Indeed. That is why I said — people are born with a certain lot. That extends to the very family one is born into. People are not born equal."
To Subaru's strained voice, Julius responded with a definitive statement befitting his aristocratic bearing.
An unbridgeable gulf of values lay between them, and the rejection from the other side was too far away for his voice to cross.
And yet.
Even so.
"I will make Emilia king."
"— You still say that? That position is far beyond your reach. You lack the weight of blood, and you certainly don't have the strength of someone like Priscilla, who stands beside that man."
Snorting at Subaru's murmur, Julius indicated the jet-black helm behind him with a tilt of his head. Al responded by maintaining his hands-off stance: "Don't drag me into this."
Glancing at his countryman's unsentimental attitude, Subaru's answer remained unchanged: "Even so, I will make Emilia king."
"You are —"
"If you're saying I don't have the qualifications of a knight, then fine, maybe I don't. Like I said, there are too many things missing about me. Before the question of whether I'm worthy of the title 'knight,' there are plenty of questions about whether I'm even worthy as a person."
But he wanted — even as an incomplete, lacking version of himself — the feeling of caring for someone to be real.
He knew he wasn't enough as a knight, that he was too weak to reach her, but even so, his wish was genuine.
"Even so, I want to become Emilia's strength. I want to be her greatest strength. I know that standing here as a retainer isn't enough. If I want to stand here, hold my head high, and be her strength — then I have to be a 'knight.' So."
Lifting his head, he looked Julius straight in the eye.
A refined face, a gallant Royal Guard uniform, an impressive knight's sword, and a dignified bearing.
Truly, he was the very image of a knight from storybooks.
In contrast, Subaru was crawling around in a dirty servant's uniform, with a hostile face far from refined or dashing. If he relaxed his posture, his spine would curve into a slouch, and he didn't even have a proper sword — just his bare hands.
The distance between where he was and where he wished to be was vast. But — "If that's what it takes for this to be a real conversation, then I'll become a 'knight.'"
He didn't know how. There were too many gaps to even begin identifying what was missing. But his goal was set.
"If I can't stand beside her without being a knight, then I'll become one. That's my answer. End of story."
"Why do you want to stand there so badly?"
Perhaps having given up on persuading him with words, Julius closed his eyes, shook his head slightly, and questioned the very origin of Subaru's actions. What was he hoping for?
Subaru caught his breath. He felt the weight of a strong gaze from behind.
Emilia — the silver-haired girl standing behind him — she was watching.
He couldn't turn around. He didn't have the courage.
But at least he could feel her presence at his back, so Subaru, even while hesitating, said: "— Because she is special."
That was his answer.
Hearing it, Julius quietly murmured the same word to himself. Then, as though reaching some conclusion, he gave the faintest nod: "Incidentally, may I ask what you mean by that?"
It was a question Subaru had only one answer to: "— I don't want to say it here."
Standing before all these eyes, he wondered what exactly he was doing.
It was practically a humiliation fest. His face was burning, and he could feel his ears going red.
As for Julius — the cause of this embarrassment — he looked at Subaru's ambiguous but somehow definitive answer with either satisfaction or resignation, and shrugged his shoulders: "Whether you have the qualifications or not, I've accepted your reason for wanting to stand there. Then I have nothing more to say. — However."
Julius turned his back and began to return to the line of candidates. But halfway there, he paused and looked back over his shoulder: "I still don't believe I can recognize you as a 'knight.'"
"What..."
"I understand that you've identified someone you want to protect and hold dear. However, your thinking is... no, it wouldn't be dignified to say more."
Shaking his head, Julius regarded the persistent Subaru with something like pity. Then: "To stand beside someone — the kind of person who wants to make that person smile — that is not what a 'knight' is."
The words themselves were soft, but the meaning they carried was more cutting than anything before.
Subaru felt something like a chill and glanced behind him with dread. Emilia was there, but he couldn't tell what expression she wore as she listened to what had just been said.
He was too terrified to turn around. Her silence, and whatever emotions lay behind it, painted only the darkest pictures in his mind.
"K-knights and whatnot, the Finest Knight really says the damndest things, huh?"
So all that came out of Subaru's mouth next was a trembling display of bravado.
Perhaps because Julius could read that much. His footsteps didn't stop. If Subaru's words had held any weight, they would have been enough to halt him in his tracks.
That was how it felt — that Subaru's words carried no value. Feeling as though that judgment had been passed on him, Subaru pressed on in a rapid, wordy stream: "I know you've been hyped up as the Finest Knight around here, but out in the world, the title of 'knight among knights' belongs to someone else entirely. ...As if I'd be intimidated by the words of a guy like that."
"Natsuki Subaru, was it? You should know that carelessly belittling others not only diminishes your own value, but the value of everyone around you as well."
To Subaru's cheap provocation, Julius responded calmly without a trace of anger.
He had already returned to his place beside his lord Anastasia. Neither he nor she felt any awkwardness about standing there.
Watching them side by side, and the two other pairs of candidates who stood similarly, Subaru felt the blood drain from his head with actual pain.
"Natsuki Subaru. — This is not beautiful."
Summing up everything — Subaru's words and actions — Julius delivered that verdict.
With those few words alone, Subaru realized that he had, with his own hands, dragged his behavior to the lowest possible level.
Looking around, he could see the cold, dismissive gazes directed at him from even the candidates' row.
From the Royal Knights standing behind them — having received disrespectful words toward their representative Julius — many directed something close to hostility.
From the circle of civil officials across from him, not a trace of goodwill toward someone who could only speak from emotion. And as for the Council of Wise Men behind them — he didn't have the courage to look back.
He had been willing to make enemies of the entire world for Emilia's sake.
That resolve, that strength — it had been there, at least for one fleeting moment until just seconds ago.
And yet now, Subaru couldn't move a muscle, couldn't so much as shift from where he stood.
Making enemies of the whole world — and he couldn't even handle a hundred or so people in a single hall before his flame of resolve guttered and flickered.
That fact was pathetic, wretched, and his eyes burned with it.
Even so, in this state, even if everyone around him had become an enemy — if only she, at least, remained on his side — — But — "That's enough, Subaru."
Before Subaru could summon the resolve to turn around, a voice like silver bells circled to face him.
A touch on his shoulder. Subaru was startled by the fact that he was trembling enough that even he wanted to look away. But Emilia, reaching toward him, didn't acknowledge his pathetic display in the slightest: "I'm sorry for taking up unnecessary time. We'll leave now."
As she spoke, tugging at his sleeve, Emilia bowed to the Council of Wise Men.
Being dismissed as "unnecessary time" cut into Subaru's heart like a blade. But there was no room for protest.
He had trampled his own resolve and determination with his own feet — there was no two ways about it.
His arm pulled along, unable to resist, Subaru was dragged from the stage. He couldn't look at Emilia's face as she walked ahead, pulling his arm.
The fact that her stubborn refusal to look at him was so devoid even of something like anger — that alone proved the futility of what he'd done, and it was almost more than he could bear.
Then, from behind him, from the podium, Miklotov's raspy but strangely carrying voice reached them: "It was a worthwhile exchange. There were parts of it worth recognizing, Emilia-sama."
Without slowing their pace, Emilia didn't respond, so Miklotov continued: "He showed at least that you are different from the feared half-elves. — You have a good retainer."
"— Subaru is..."
Emilia stopped. She turned back.
Her gaze was directed at the podium and the Council of Wise Men; Subaru, standing beside her, didn't even enter her peripheral vision. But Subaru saw her face clearly as she turned.
Her expression was frozen, her eyes cold with emotion, and cutting away everything with finality, she declared in a clear, bell-like voice: "He is not my retainer."
With crystal clarity, she rejected everything Subaru had said.
*** Wandering along the corridor outside the hall, Subaru was utterly lost.
He couldn't remember what he'd looked like after making a fool of himself in front of everyone at Emilia's side. He only remembered that the Knight Commander had advised him to withdraw, and that Emilia — neither affirming nor denying — had left the decision to Subaru.
Leaving the choice to him had been her last kindness.
After all, Subaru had acted the part of her close acquaintance and then made a spectacle of himself. She must have understood acutely that his very existence was nothing but a liability to her.
And yet she hadn't blamed him with words. Had he chosen to stay, she would have respected that choice too.
That was precisely why Subaru couldn't bear to remain in that place.
Not because he couldn't endure the foolishness of what he'd done — but because he wanted to avoid imposing any further on Emilia.
"No... that's an excuse too."
Saying he didn't want to hold her back was nothing but a convenient justification. The root cause was simpler and more hopeless.
Simply put, he could no longer bear the thought of Emilia looking at him with those cold eyes.
"What's the point of me being such an idiot? Why did I cross a dangerous bridge and come all the way to a place like this?"
Causing trouble for everyone, being saved by miraculous encounters along the way, going through all of that to reach this royal castle — and what Subaru had done was nothing short of being an obstacle on Emilia's path.
He had come here to protect her from the very person who might do that. His intentions had been noble, but the result was utterly wretched — to the point where not doing anything would have been better.
He hated himself for it. Not that he hadn't known.
"Is something wrong?"
Hearing Subaru's self-mocking mutter, the knight walking beside him spoke in a concerned tone.
This was the knight who had been assigned to escort him from the hall to the waiting room. Unlike those inside, he hadn't witnessed Subaru's debacle, so his behavior carried a measure of respect befitting someone involved in the Royal Selection.
Even being treated this politely — right now, it struck Subaru as almost comical, and he couldn't help twisting the corner of his mouth.
"No, it's nothing. Just... sorry about all this. You've got important work, and here I am dragging you into extra trouble."
"It's no trouble at all. Everyone knows what's happening in the throne room will determine the future of this nation. Only a handful of the Knights Corps were allowed inside, but guarding the perimeter and escorting important figures — that work is just as indispensable."
The knight spoke clearly and without hesitation, which only made Subaru feel more awkward.
The truth was, in his current state, he would have preferred to be pushed away. But for the knight who hadn't witnessed any of it, Subaru pushing him away harshly would be nothing but a petty tantrum. Not even worth being called venting.
That knight took pride in the fact that his work was connected to the Royal Selection.
What about Subaru? Could he take pride in anything he'd done?
Even the person whose recognition he wanted most — the one he wanted to believe in — had rejected him.
"— Hm? What's this?"
Suddenly, the noise of voices stopped Subaru's feet from sinking further into the sea of self-pity.
Ahead, around the corner of the corridor, several loud voices were clashing. Frowning suspiciously, Subaru — with the knight stepping protectively in front of him — pressed against the wall.
"Please stay back, just in case. I'm sure it's nothing, but..."
"O-oh, sure."
Obeying the concern in the knight's words, Subaru moved to the side of the wall and held back. Then, rounding the corner, the source of the commotion approached.
It was a group of about six. A young knight in full armor led them, guiding the group behind. The group appeared to be restraining someone in their center — among the uniformly clad knights, the central figure stood out with an entirely different outfit.
"What happened?"
Seeing that it wasn't an emergency, the knight accompanying Subaru called out to the leading knight. The other turned with a slightly stiff expression: "It's a suspicious individual who tried to break into the castle. And they're... somewhat troublesome."
"Suspicious individual? Then why are you parading them through the castle? Wouldn't it be better to take them to the barracks?"
"Like I said — troublesome. I need to report to the Captain."
Ending the exchange quickly, the knight gave a curt bow to Subaru before returning to guiding the group. Their destination appeared to be the hall where the Royal Selection was being held — which should have been the site of the kingdom's most critical proceedings. What kind of situation warranted interrupting that?
Glancing back, Subaru ruminated on the conversation he'd overheard as the group passed before his very eyes.
The figure restrained by four knights — the person who had allegedly tried to infiltrate the castle — was a familiar bald-headed old man.
If he'd taken even one wrong step, he could have ended up in the same position as this man — and the realization of just how reckless he'd been terrified Subaru.
But that reflection vanished in an instant. Because — "— Huh?"
Standing before the dazed Subaru, being led away with limbs restrained by four knights, was none other than the old man he had parted ways with in the merchant district —