"What you need to make mayonnaise! First and foremost—love!"
"Yes, leave it to me!"
"That kind of thing is fine, already."
Sandwiched between his younger and older sister's polar-opposite reactions, Subaru clenched his fists and made his case emphatically.
They had relocated to the kitchen, where Subaru had donned a simple apron over his butler uniform. Flanking him were
"Going purely off half-remembered knowledge here, but I don't think the ingredients are all that numerous."
"If it's just a matter of mixing existing things together, the difficulty shouldn't be too high. But if this were something that required aging or fermentation, we'd never keep up."
"It shouldn't be anything that complicated. If only I'd paid a little more attention when Mom was making homemade mayo back in the day…"
Looking back on it now was too little, too late.
When Subaru's mother had resolved to take her "mayonnaise-making to the next level," the ingredients she gathered hadn't included anything particularly exotic. As it turned out, the homemade mayonnaise was a failure, and his mother—who had all the attention span of a goldfish—immediately abandoned the venture and went right back to squeezing mayo out of a store-bought tube.
"If anything, Dad was the bigger perfectionist in the family. In the end, he was the one who actually pulled off the homemade mayo, but because it fell short of the store-bought stuff, it never even made it to the dinner table."
Subaru had a vivid memory of his father taking responsibility for disposing of the finished product.
Now that he thought about it, he really should have taken the opportunity, as a fellow mayonnaise lover, to compare homemade versus store-bought with his own tongue. But that was a festival that had already passed.
Still, who could have imagined that after all this time, he'd be given another chance to tackle homemade mayonnaise? Blood tells, perhaps?
"Alright, enough reminiscing. Let's move on to the ingredients beyond love. First up—the egg, naturally."
Mayonnaise meant eggs. For an egg-enthusiast like Subaru, it was the inseparable, quintessential ingredient. That said…
"Based on what you told me, I prepared avian eggs. They're the same ones we normally use for cooking."
"That works. Going in a weird direction is the first step toward a terrible meal. Especially since there are slight differences between here and my hometown—you have to be extremely careful about that."
Their differing ecosystems meant they couldn't simply assume the ingredients were identical to those from his original world. Even if cooking was largely similar, it was crucial not to forget that things weren't the same. What started as a small adventure could lead to an unexpectedly grand one.
"After all, the principles of cooking are the principles of science. With that kind of scientific-experiment mindset, adventure is completely off the table."
"If you'd like, I could have arranged for more expensive ingredients as well."
"Putting big money into something that might fail? That's a recipe for bankruptcy! By the way, what do fancy eggs look like? Heritage-breed chickens or something?"
"Dragon eggs, for instance—there's an extremely rare possibility that they might appear on the market. They'd be the highest-grade luxury item."
"Making mayo with dragon eggs feels sacrilegious!? And come to think of it, isn't this country supposed to be a dragon-worshipping kingdom!?"
The idea of a nation that revered dragons also having a custom of eating dragon eggs was… curious.
Ram let out a sigh of exasperation at Subaru's confusion.
"You're lumping dragons and wyrms together, which is why you're getting confused. There's an uncrossable wall between the noble dragons—the Divine Dragons—and wyrm-kind as a race. Do you understand?"
"When you put it that way, I can't quite grasp the nuance… So you're saying dragons and wyrms are treated differently?"
Ram shrugged as though stating the obvious, and Subaru pulled a face. Just then, Rem tugged at his sleeve, looking up at him with upturned eyes.
"So there's nothing to worry about. If you like, I could procure some dragon eggs right now…"
"The way you said 'procure' makes it sound like you'd hunt them down rather than buy them! That's oddly terrifying! Anyway, let's just start with chicken eggs for now. If my taste buds stop being satisfied, I'll let you know."
Subaru was a self-admitted lover of cheap food, so the likelihood of him developing an appetite for luxury was slim. But he could picture Rem looking crestfallen if he flat-out rejected her offer. Accepting her proposal in a holding pattern would preserve both her feelings and his own…
"Yes, and now for the second ingredient—Abutaka-takabura oil!"
"The oil we normally use in the mansion is first-rate, so there's no issue there. We have it stored in jars, so no matter how much you use, it'll be fine."
"But now that I think about it, aren't these technically the mansion's supplies? Won't someone get mad that I'm using them for personal purposes?"
Roswaal, who had been present at breakfast, hadn't said anything about it, but there was no denying that the purpose had veered considerably toward personal indulgence.
He'd rather not push his luck and cause friction with his master…
"Don't worry. I'll properly reimburse any costs incurred for private use later. You don't need to worry about a thing, Subaru."
"I'm tempted to be swayed by those kind words, but accepting that would make me a total scumbag!?"
Faced with Rem's willingness to dip into her own savings without hesitation, Subaru negotiated a compromise: he'd split the cost once his wages came through. Rem had firmly refused to let him cover the full amount, so that was the best settlement he could manage.
The fact that she turned self-sacrifice into her reason for living was, Subaru felt, still not a good thing. Ram watched this exchange between Subaru and her sister from the corner of her eye, and the temperature of her gaze showed absolutely zero sign of rising from absolute zero.
With Rem, whose dependency issues were heading in a worrying direction, as his partner, Subaru swallowed a sigh deep in his chest and pressed on with mayonnaise-making.
"So those are the main ingredients. Next up—first, salt."
"Solte."
"Then pepper?"
"Pepper as well."
"Sugar… I don't think that's needed, but just in case."
"Sugar is also prepared."
"Sugar being the one ingredient with absolutely zero flair is kind of weird…"
Facing the lineup of condiments, Subaru placed a hand on his chin and murmured, "Right then."
Eggs, oil, and a few seasonings—that was roughly what he remembered for the main ingredients. The question was in what order, and in what proportions, to combine them.
"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Failure is part of the plan—let's proceed steadily."
"Yes, exactly. So even if I fail, please don't abandon Rem…"
"Whoa! What nerve did I just touch!?"
Rem grabbed Subaru's sleeve, trembling slightly with little tremors.
For someone as abnormally sensitive to evaluation as she was, a strategy that assumed failure from the start was apparently quite taxing mentally. In other words, trial-and-error work was a terrible fit for her personality.
Subaru soothed the trembling Rem as best he could and nodded reassuringly.
"You're right, you're right. Going in with a failure-inevitable, underdog-to-the-core attitude is no good. Everything should be decided in one clean, decisive stroke! That's right—I was always the type to pull a perfect result on the first try without reading the room at all. Easy peasy."
Adopting a nonchalant air, he thumped his chest, though inwardly he was drenched in cold sweat as he turned back to the ingredients.
With Rem watching him from nearby with worried eyes, a strategy of casually experimenting with random combinations while assuming failure was no longer viable.
The tension he'd felt just a few short days ago was already returning, and Subaru's heart was pumping blood at a painfully rapid pace.
"The kitchen really is a battlefield… Alright, let's do this. Rem, give me an egg."
"Yes. About two hundred should be fine?"
"Are you trying to make enough mayo to swim in!? One egg is plenty!"
The basket Rem lifted was heaped with eggs, and her enthusiasm was palpable. Rather put off by that intensity, Subaru reclaimed a single egg from the pile, cracked it into a nearby container, and got to work.
Staring down at the yolk sitting in the bowl, he casually flung in a haphazard amount of salt and pepper. He couldn't afford to hesitate. When he thought about the trusting gaze of the girl standing next to him, wavering here and clouding her eyes was absolutely out of the question.
Propelled by a strange sense of mission, Subaru placed his faith in himself and the parents living in his head. He whisked the egg and seasonings with a beaters, and when they seemed sufficiently mixed, he began pouring in oil. That's right. Above all else, the key was to keep mixing—both parents had said something to that effect, he seemed to recall.
More oil. More oil. As though passion alone could set the mayonnaise in the bowl ablaze, he poured in oil with single-minded intensity, running the beaters as though he'd stumbled upon his parents' murderer.
He ran out of breath. Sweat dripped from his forehead down his chin. His vision began to blur into a white haze. Even so, he continued to mix with all his heart, as though trying to reach something just beyond his grasp.
Sounds grew distant. Color drained from the world. Yet his senses sharpened. In a state of hyper-awareness where he could feel the very movement of air against his skin, Subaru stared into the bowl of mayonnaise and came to a realization.
"It separated."
Turns out momentum alone wasn't enough.
※※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ —After that, the mayonnaise-making became fiercely contested.
A back-and-forth battle, perhaps, but calling it that was generous—the reality was a complete rout.
Egg after egg was sacrificed. What piled up was a mountain of failures. No, not a mountain—an incomprehensible ocean of liquid, some yellowish, some milky-white, so disgusting to behold that one wanted to look away.
After dozens of eggs had perished, Subaru could no longer stomach the waste.
"Damn it! I can't reach it again! Why!? My method shouldn't be wrong… What's missing!? What am I supposed to do? Is the world trying to interfere and stop me from introducing mayonnaise to this other world—!?"
In isekai stories, bringing modern civilization to another world and triggering a cultural explosion was practically a genre convention. For Subaru, who lacked any real specialized knowledge, it had seemed like a distant dream—yet he never imagined such a trap could exist.
"Dammit, world-building consistency is terrifying. If I'm tripping up this hard over mayonnaise, does that mean bringing in anything more substantial is completely impossible…?"
Despair was threatening to break him.
Had Subaru's heart ever been this beaten down, this thoroughly crushed by hopelessness? Reaching and reaching, only to grasp nothing.
To be reminded of this through something as mundane as a slice-of-life moment was— "No, now that I think about it, I've been despairing quite a lot."
He was painfully aware that his stockpile of experiences that shattered his spirit was growing.
Unfortunately, this particular experience point offered no resistance buffs and had nothing to do with leveling up—it was a useless stat parameter.
Regardless, he'd failed enough times that such sentimental thoughts could arise. He expected Ram and Rem to be equally disheartened, so he glanced over at them—and— "I think it's starting to take shape, but the flavor is completely off. What about you, Sister?"
"You'd need to add the oil little by little, and adjust the taste with solte and pepper. The stirring seems like it'd require patience, which means it's a job ill-suited to Ram."
Ram was stirring her bowl with a whisk, chatting away as she worked.
And if Subaru stole a peek— "Huh, huh, huh!? She shouldn't have more knowledge than me, so why does it look like she's actually producing something mayo-like!? Why!?"
Both of Ram's and Rem's bowls contained a small amount of viscous, thickening substance. Ram's was, slightly, closer to the ideal form.
"Why… why?"
"This is the difference between someone who cooks and someone who doesn't. The presence or absence of trivial knowledge is irrelevant. Know now that half-baked learning is of absolutely no use."
"Even so, the only cooking of yours I've ever seen is steamed sweet potatoes!?"
His instinctive rebuttal was nothing more than a loser's excuse, and the "Hmph" and familiar snort of derision from Ram left him with nothing more to say.
Meanwhile, Rem offered a comforting smile to console the disheartened Subaru.
"It's fine. You should do things your own way, Subaru. Speaking as someone who does cook, I have to say your method is irrational, defies logic, and honestly makes me feel a little sorry for the egg—but that's just part of who you are."
"That's the most roundabout poison I've heard in ages! Stop commenting on my way of life! I don't want to be judged on this level over mayo-making!"
Subaru shouted back at Rem's words, which sounded supportive but absolutely weren't, and watched the two of them work.
As he stared wide-eyed, both sisters gradually added oil to their viscous, not-yet-quite-mayonnaise substance— "Oh, I see. You don't dump it all in at once?"
"If you pour in a large amount all at once, the separation accelerates. The rest is just patient stirring. Haste versus patience—hitting close to home, aren't we?"
"Wow! Amazing! Rem, you're the best! Great catch! Really well spotted! Good girl, wonderful!"
Subaru heaped praise on Rem to keep her from sinking into self-doubt based on her own words. At hearing this, Rem's expression brightened immediately. "R-Really?" she said with a bashful smile.
She was starting to get a bit high-maintenance yet easy to please.
"That was supposed to be the kind of challenge that would help her realize her own worth, though…"
The reason he sought her approval each time stemmed from the severity of her self-devaluation.
If she could simply build confidence, she'd surely break free from this "puppy seeking attention" phase. That was Subaru's thinking, shaped by the countless manga and games he'd consumed.
In reality, the majority of the mansion's work couldn't function without Rem, but this had become so taken for granted that her contributions were rarely praised enough. Even that, she probably interpreted as "I must not be doing enough yet."
That was precisely why he'd proposed the mayonnaise-making—something she couldn't do alone, something that required her.
By achieving something that wouldn't have been possible without her, he hoped it might bolster Rem's confidence, even if only a little.
That was the intention behind his proposal. So it was absolutely not purely self-serving.
"And yet, here you are, doing better than me. You really can't read a room."
"For someone as skilled at reading the wind as Ram, that's quite the insolent remark. Can't you see what's in front of Ram's hands?"
When Subaru muttered his complaint with a deadpan stare, Ram snorted and drew his attention to her bowl with her eyes. Inside the vessel, a small whirlwind had formed. It gripped the tip of the whisk, enabling a speed of stirring impossible through human effort alone.
Witnessing the not-quite-mayonnaise gradually transforming into proper mayonnaise within the furious spiral, Subaru nodded with a smile.
"Your efficiency is what I hate about you right now."
"When it comes to physical ability, there's nothing to be done about being inferior to Rem, but there's no helping it if my mind stays sharp, is there? Besides, regardless of what Barusu intends…"
She cast him a sidelong glance, then turned a meaningful look toward Rem. Rem, unaware of the gaze, was fully absorbed in rotating her whisk.
Watching her sister's profile, Ram allowed the faintest hint of a smile.
"When someone relies on you, you naturally want to show your best. The petty pride of being Ram's older sister—does Barusu think he has the right to meddle with that?"
She recognized she was inferior to her sister in terms of ability, but she still took pride in being the older one.
Subaru's scheme shouldn't have been a negative for her either, but Ram had her own philosophy about how to interact with Rem. In that case, commenting further would be nothing but tactless.
That said…
"If you finish first, it won't help Rem's confidence at all, will it? What if she falls into a negative spiral of 'As expected, Sister is amazing. Compared to Rem…'? I know you don't want her any more attached to me than she already is."
He wanted to avoid increasing her dependency on him any further. If her reward-seeking behavior escalated, she might start following him to the bathroom and offering to wipe for him. The thought was terrifying.
Oblivious to Subaru's shudder, Ram let out a soft sigh and murmured, "That won't happen."
"Besides, Ram has to start limiting her mana use soon anyway, so she won't finish. If I just show her the path, Rem will walk it on her own. Because the fact remains that Ram was the one who laid the groundwork first, Ram's pride won't be wounded. Is that a satisfactory compromise, Barusu?"
"You're really not cute, you know that, Sister. —Wait, did I push you too hard?"
He thought back to when she'd exhausted herself in the Forest of Magic Beasts by overusing her wind magic.
If this venture had added to her burden, that would be his fault as well. But when faced with his question, she shook her head.
"Ram is simply stopping because there's no benefit in it for her. If Ram completes this, the only one who'll be happy is Barusu. Ugh, how utterly uninspiring. I'm done."
With that, she casually tossed her bowl into the sink.
The clean, decisive nature of her withdrawal was refreshing in its own way. Whether her stated reason was the truth or merely a convenient cover for the real one, the destructive power was more than enough to get under Subaru's skin.
"Sister?"
"Rem. Ram is tired, so she's withdrawing. She'll be in the dining room having tea, so keep Barusu company however you like until lunch."
Rem, who'd been too absorbed in stirring to participate in the conversation, looked up at the call. Ram rapped Subaru's sullen shoulder as she passed and strode out of the kitchen.
At a loss for words over her imperious behavior, Subaru sighed and retrieved the bowl Ram had abandoned.
"Seriously, tossing it when it was finally getting somewhere. I never even reached that point, and how many chicks' lives were sacrificed in the process…"
His streak of failures was becoming genuinely pathetic. Still grumbling, he dipped a finger into the bowl and brought the yellowish not-quite-mayonnaise to his mouth. But— "The texture feels close, but… blech, it's still not right."
The rich oiliness, the appearance—it was getting closer to the desired mayonnaise. But the actual taste was completely different.
Something felt missing, but it wasn't a matter of too much or too little salt and pepper.
Salt and pepper were merely seasoning. The difference was something else—something more fundamental was absent.
"I'm missing something. I can't put my finger on it… It's not sweetness, not spiciness, not saltiness…"
He licked the contents of the bowl repeatedly, tilting his head in thought.
Purely as a matter of taste, this incomplete mayo-in-progress offered nothing but oiliness no matter how many times he tasted it, and with each repetition the unpleasantness grew.
Beside him, Rem tasted the contents of her own bowl. She closed her eyes, savoring the oiliness spreading across her palate, and murmured "Mmm" in contemplation.
In appearance alone, it was approaching the finished product. The problem lay in that final missing step—something was lacking. Subaru's speculation was interrupted by a single word from Rem, who suddenly opened her eyes.
"—Acidity."
"Hm?"
"With the current flavor profile, I think adding a bit of sourness would make it taste delicious."
Subaru blinked at Rem's suggestion, then tested it for himself by bringing more of the not-quite-mayonnaise to his mouth.
A purely unpleasant oiliness spread through his palate. But what if that were joined by a tongue-tingling acidity? —In his imagination, wings appeared on the amorphous shape, and his not-quite-mayonnaise soared into the brilliant blue sky. Now he could see the answer.
"Acidity! That's it, acidity! It needs to be sourer! What do we add to make it sour? Something sour, something sour… An orange!?"
"I think adding lemon or vinegar would be best."
"Lemon juice or vinegar! I agree! If this is the answer, the possibilities are endless!"
Following Rem's suggestion, Subaru dug out condiments from the back of the kitchen. He crushed a lemon-like fruit and squeezed out the juice, and also retrieved a vinegar-like liquid so intensely acidic it could make the back of your throat scream.
Two sources of acidity prepared, Subaru nodded to Rem, pouring the lemon juice into Ram's abandoned bowl and the vinegar into Rem's.
"Now it's time to stir with everything we've got—until our very souls are worn thin!"
Learning from his earlier mistake, he added only small amounts at a time despite the intensity of his tone.
Little by little, he incorporated it into the not-quite-mayonnaise, restraining his eagerness while continuing to stir and shape the mixture.
Given time, given care, before Subaru's eyes, the not-quite-mayonnaise had evolved into something approaching actual mayonnaise.
He held his breath. His bone-dry throat ached.
Yet despite this state, his heart—devoid of water, parched as it was—craved the viscous substance before him.
He looked back. Rem was there. She nodded, lending her strength to his resolve.
He nodded in return and turned back to the bowl. The drifting aroma of oil, the faint tang tickling his nose—his inner mayonnaise connoisseur confirmed it without a doubt.
Now, in this other world, Subaru had forged a new path.
He dipped his finger in and scooped some up.
Gazing lovingly at the white substance coating his fingertip, he brought it to his mouth. He sucked on his finger in a manner that was, frankly, somewhat suggestive. Licking it clean, he withdrew his finger from his lips with an audible sound.
His expression was blissful. Then Subaru turned to Rem and declared— "—TERRIBLE! It failed! This isn't right! I'm gonna—blech!"
"A-Are you okay!? Was it a matter of the ratio not being right?"
"No, no, no—it's fundamentally wrong from the ground up! Just like wasabi, mustard, and habanero all have completely different kinds of spiciness, this is a category error in sourness!"
The lemon juice acidity was a resplendent failure.
He washed the mouthful of mayo-that-wasn't from his mouth, and with clouded eyes, turned toward Rem.
Because hope had come first, the anxiety of the current situation hit that much harder.
If even Rem had failed, he thought, he wouldn't be able to get up. But even so, he couldn't resist confirming.
Receiving Subaru's gaze—a tangled mix of hope and dread—Rem seemed to understand that all his hopes rested in her hands.
Naturally, a resolve to face that reality bloomed within her.
She drew a breath and raised her head. The uncertainty was gone from her expression. Gone too was the weak desire for self-evaluation. In its place remained only the pure, untarnished bearing of a seeker pursuing a goal.
"—Rem."
At Subaru's plea, Rem gave a small nod.
Between them, words were no longer needed.
To answer the trust Subaru had placed in her, Rem gently dipped her finger into the bowl.
She fixed her gaze on the white liquid clinging to her fingertip, holding perfectly still for just a few seconds. What she'd been thinking during that brief pause—no one could say.
But the instant that pause broke, Rem placed her finger in her mouth without hesitation.
Her tongue moved, tasting methodically. A red tongue crossed the white fingertip sensuously. A pink breath lingered on the fingertip as she closed her eyes and savored the flavor that had slipped into her mouth.
A brief encounter—yet it contained a stillness that seemed to last an eternity. And when her eyes opened, Subaru could only ask her with blank astonishment.
Her answer was— "I shall name this flavor, born here today—mayonnaise."
Those were the first words that would spread the gospel of mayonnaise to another world.
※※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ The mayonnaise was successfully completed at a time when, under normal circumstances, they'd already have needed to start preparing lunch to make it.
Their joy was short-lived, however, as they were doused with cold water by the realization that they might not be able to complete the routine tasks. But the two of them were saved by none other than— "I had a feeling this would happen, so I made preparations."
Ram, who had finished preparing her signature dish—steamed sweet potatoes.
Honestly, while the taste of her steamed potatoes was guaranteed, presenting them as the main course of a noble's lunch felt a little problematic.
But it was the very mayonnaise that had caused this dilemma in the first place that proved instrumental in solving the problem.
"So, this is the ultimate condiment from my homeland—mayonnaise. By pairing it with plain steamed potatoes, you'll really appreciate the taste. Now, feast!"
Subaru put on a show of acting as though there was a perfectly good reason for not preparing a proper lunch menu.
On the luxurious table, atop the gleaming dishes, sat a simple arrangement: warm, steaming sweet potatoes topped with nothing but mayonnaise.
"This is, like, once again a pretty bold meal choice, isn't it?"
"I want everyone to experience the wonder of mayonnaise. I had Ram and Rem do all the heavy lifting and clear away everything else. If anyone has complaints, lay them all on me. And then—"
"And then—?"
"I'll use the credit I earned during the mabeast incident to offset this lunch's impudence…!"
"Like when you saved Lady
Roswaal offered a wry smile and accepted Subaru's impudence.
He'd probably seen through Subaru's clumsy excuses right away. Especially with Rem standing behind him, looking apologetic.
Ram, who'd had no reservations whatsoever about serving steamed potatoes, stood proudly beside her identical sister. Quite the nerve.
It wasn't just Roswaal who had reservations about the menu before them. Even Emilia—the person whose reaction Subaru cared about most—was eyeing the mayo-topped sweet potatoes with visible unease.
"How about it, Emilia-tan? Think you can eat it?"
"It's my first time seeing it, so honestly, I'm a little scared. But if Rem's vouching for it and you're that enthusiastic, I want to believe it's good…"
It really didn't have the reassuring appearance of something one could eat without hesitation at first sight.
Subaru decided to find someone he could feel no guilt about feeding and scanned the table—only to notice— "Huh, where's Beako?"
"The moment Lady
"That loli—just you wait…"
No leftovers allowed, Subaru secretly resolved to bring mayo potatoes to the library later.
Unable to find anyone willing to go first, Subaru heaved a sigh.
"Fine, whatever. In that case, I'm relying on you,
"Hmm? Me?"
Shaking his head as though making a decision born of anguish, Subaru ceded the honor of going first to the small cat.
Seated across from Emilia's place, Puck sat primly with a small steamed sweet potato on a plate before him.
He'd been washing his face with his paws and grooming his tail, giving the impression of being outside the conversation altogether, but Subaru wouldn't let that slide.
Under Subaru's intense gaze, Puck looked up at Emilia with an troubled expression. Emilia, in turn, looked apologetically at Puck.
"Puck, please."
"You're really something when you ask, Riа. Fine, fine, I've got no choice."
Puck reluctantly tapped his head, then slowly turned his attention to the steamed potato.
He looked up at Subaru with his black eyes, twitched his pink nose, and muttered— "For the record, I've set up a bound spell that would freeze everything in a wide area around us—everyone except Riа—if I happen to die. So please don't forget that."
"That was a terrifyingly casual thing to say. But there's no need to worry!"
Subaru shot back at Puck's good-bye-like declaration, and the small spirit shook his tiny body before taking on the sweet potato. Opening his small mouth, he bit into the chunk.
"Mm-hmm, delicious."
"Don't just focus on the potato—properly evaluate the mayo too."
"You got me. Okay then—ahhh."
Called out on his attempt to dodge the question with just the potato, Puck sheepishly licked the mayonnaise. He chewed the potato and mayo together as everyone watched with bated breath.
Even Subaru, who'd already confirmed the finished product with his own tongue, had no idea how it would be received by someone who hadn't tried it yet. Naturally, the tension was palpable as he waited for Puck's reaction. Then the gray kitten slowly looked up at everyone present— "—Yeah, I think it's pretty good."
He tapped the steamed potato lightly with his paw, stamping it with his seal of approval.
With Puck's official endorsement secured, lunch properly commenced.
At first, Emilia's wariness hadn't faded. But the moment she resignedly popped a piece into her mouth, she relished the deep, rich flavor of the mayonnaise.
"Oh, that's good. Oh no, I can't stop eating them."
She ate sweet potato after sweet potato with a look of feigned reluctance, clearly delighted.
Roswaal also seemed satisfied, declaring "This is delicious" in a manner that satisfied even a noble's palate. As a mayonnaise evangelist, Subaru breathed a sigh of relief.
"Alright, huge success! Rem, you did great."
Unexpectedly met with high praise, Subaru beamed and turned around to tap the shoulder of Rem, who was still standing stiffly behind him.
At his call, Rem bowed her head as though overwhelmed.
"Not at all, what Rem did was nothing special. All of this is thanks to your efforts, Subaru. Rem was so absorbed that she almost forgot about lunch prep entirely… If you and Sister hadn't been there, I don't know what kind of scolding Roswaal would have given me."
"Why do you always jump to the negative interpretation? If you can evaluate my and Ram's clever little schemes, can't you at least give yourself some positive credit too?"
Faced with Rem's continued self-deprecation, all Subaru could do was shrug.
In reality, what he and Ram had done was basically a bunch of mischief, and Rem, who'd been roped into it, had nothing to be praised for.
If anything, Subaru should have been the one feeling guilty for asking her to do something outside her normal work and making her feel burdensome.
"The mayo was completed thanks to you, Rem. With this, I can finally bring some flavor to the dinner table here too. I'm grateful, you know."
But pressing the point any further would only lead to an endless cycle of apologies.
So Subaru chose to steamroll past it with enthusiasm.
"It's… thanks to me?" Rem said.
Rem's face lit up instantly at this, perfectly riding Subaru's intent. He found her eagerness endearingly silly and nodded.
"Of course. Without you, today's success would have been impossible. You should be proud."
"Was I of use?"
"Absolutely. Thanks to you, a mayonnaise-addicted man's life has been saved. I was in genuinely critical condition, you know."
"Critical condition…"
"I was one step away from being so deep in mayo I'd die without it. Thanks to you, I've been pulled back from the brink. God, Buddha, Rem-tan, Emilia-tan—that's the order of gratitude."
Subaru's unreliability knew no bounds.
Rem nodded earnestly at his words with a serious expression.
"Understood. Leave it to me."
"Hmm? Got it. I'm leaving it all to you!"
He didn't quite understand, but if it contributed to Rem's confidence, then why not.
He gave a thumbs up in response, then headed over to Emilia's side to partake in the highly praised lunch.
Behind him, Rem quietly clenched her fist in a gesture of determination—something Subaru didn't notice.
※※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ —One night after the mayonnaise incident, early the next morning.
The morning came early for household staff, and Subaru slipped out of bed before long, suppressing a yawn as he walked along the mansion's corridor.
Yesterday had been eventful, to say the least, but the fact that mayonnaise was now available in this world was an invaluable stroke of luck.
Going forward, he'd worry far less about the differences in cuisine. All thanks to Rem.
And just as he was thinking— "Oh, talk about the devil. Good morning, Rem-rin."
"—Ah, Subaru. Good morning!"
Rem, who appeared to have woken before him, came running down the corridor toward him, slightly out of breath.
She brightened instantly, waiting expectantly for his reaction. Subaru smiled wryly, then began with "Oh, uh—"
"Thanks for everything yesterday. It made me really happy to taste something from my hometown again."
"Not at all. If what Rem did was of any help to you, there's nothing that makes Rem happier. —You can compliment me, you know?"
Rem wagged an invisible tail. Subaru placed his palm on her blue hair and gently ruffled it. Rem snorted softly and closed her eyes in contentment.
Somehow he felt like he was doing something he shouldn't be doing this early in the morning and began to question himself—then— "Oh, right, Subaru. Did you happen to sweat at all while sleeping?"
"What, really? Do I smell? I guess it was kind of muggy yesterday…"
He had, in fact, felt slightly uncomfortable during the night. Surprised to have it pointed out, he lifted his arm and sniffed. But the smell of one's own body, one one had long grown accustomed to, was notoriously hard to gauge.
Subaru tilted his head. But if Rem was mentioning it, it might be worse than he thought.
"Emilia-tan noticing would be embarrassing. Maybe I should give myself a quick wipe-down with water."
"In that case, the bath is available. The smaller tub is fine to use even first thing in the morning. —If you'd like, I could scrub your back."
"No need to wash me. Girls should have a bit more modesty, you know?"
"What a shame."
Rem withdrew her hand with a joking air. Despite her tone, Subaru decided to take her up on the offer. After all, if she was going out of her way to suggest the bath, the smell emanating from his current body might be worse than he'd thought.
If it had been anyone other than Rem, like Ram or Beatrice, the mere thought was enough to break his spirit.
"Well then, I'll take you up on your kind offer."
"Alright. —Take your time."
There was something enigmatic in Rem's parting words, but Subaru was focused on washing off the sweat as quickly as possible and didn't notice.
He waved goodbye to Rem and headed briskly toward the bath.
Taking a bath in the morning was a novel experience in a world without showers.
During his shut-in days, he'd lived a completely inverted schedule, so when the mood struck, he'd head to the bathroom and wash up with just a shower—something he did often.
In this world, such a quick wash wasn't possible. And besides, when the girl of his interest was just around the corner, slacking off on grooming was absolutely out of the question.
As a result, Subaru had gradually developed a habit of taking his time with his baths, and— "Having the bath all to myself like this… it's kind of exciting, isn't it?"
He surveyed the spacious bathroom and stood there stark naked, puffing out his chest for no reason.
The grand bath, comparable to a public bathhouse's tub, was currently drained, its marble-like basin waiting to be cleaned. But that wasn't his destination—his goal was the smaller tub installed in the corner of the bathroom.
It was a tub meant for use when the master, Roswaal, was away, designed to avoid wasting water heating the large one. It was more than big enough for one person and came equipped with a magic-stone water-heating function, making it highly convenient.
Glancing at the tub, he noticed— "Steam rising lazily… Looks like Rem was being thoughtful."
He'd gone back to his room to grab a change of clothes before heading to the bath.
In that window of time, Rem could well have quietly heated the water for him. Given how perceptive she'd been lately, it was entirely possible.
Either way, if the water was already heated, there was no problem at all.
The combined effect of being alone, stark naked, in a bath first thing in the morning—they affected Subaru's mental state more than he'd anticipated.
As a result— "First up,
Bursting into the bathroom with strange enthusiasm, Subaru executed a hop, step, and jump. He avoided the catastrophic potential of slipping on the wet floor, but he went in with his bits swinging—and mid-air, his body rotated, plunging straight into the tub.
And then— "Uwabwah!?"
His body sank with a thick, viscous sound unlike anything he'd ever heard.
Startled by the unexpected texture and warmth, Subaru struggled to the surface of the slimy liquid and somehow managed to get his face above water—his eyes wouldn't open.
"What, what, what!? What is this texture, what's going on!? My whole body is slimy! This is bad! And something is seeping into my wounds! This is bad—why!? I could die!"
He burst out of the tub and rolled across the bathroom floor in spectacular fashion, screaming.
His entire body was coated in viscous liquid. Every time he tried to stand, he slipped. He reached for the floor with his hands, and his palms slipped, slipped, slipped.
Nothing made sense. An unforeseen crisis.
With his eyes still clenched shut, trapped in a world of darkness, alarm bells rang in Subaru's mind. The sensation of a life in danger—something he'd experienced just days ago—was upon him once more, and Subaru silently cursed his own carelessness.
He'd been too naive. What had he let his guard down for?
How had he forgotten the spitefulness of the gods who governed this world's fate? Thought he was safe? Sorry—BAD END! That was the kind of betrayal he should have been bracing for.
Gasping for breath, he looked up at the ceiling.
Sprawled across the bathroom floor in a starfish position, his body smeared with viscous liquid, his five senses barely functioning, Subaru ran through his thoughts.
He could call out. He could scream for help. But what if this was a trap too? Even if he called for help, wouldn't the rescuer be dragged in as well? But if he didn't call for help and simply lay here, his fate would be sealed by whoever had orchestrated this. So what should he do without calling out—thoughts raced in dizzying circles in an instant.
They were interrupted by a strange sensation that arose inside his mouth.
"If I die, hide my death for three days… Use that time to smooth things over… Huh?"
In his confusion, words that sounded suspiciously like a last testament had leaked out. Subaru grimaced and carefully tasted the sensation inside his mouth with his tongue.
Viscosity, oiliness, and the supreme tang of acidity—the conclusion was— "Rem! Rem! Get in here!"
"Yes! Did you call, Subaru!"
Responding as though she'd been waiting just outside the bathroom, Rem's voice answered immediately.
She hurried over and, with a cloth she'd brought along, gently wiped the mayonnaise off Subaru's Subaru's face.
"How do you like it—a full-body mayonnaise bath. I worked really hard on it, per your request, Subaru. —You can praise me, you know."
Her smile radiated an unspoken "praise me, praise me."
Sitting up and wiping his mayonnaise-covered body with the cloth, Subaru returned a smile to Rem's innocent face and said— "Are you an idiot!?"
In the early morning bathroom, Subaru's most furious shout yet rang out.
Having wasted mayonnaise—his soulmate—only compounded his fury, and Subaru's rage was truly ferocious. Rem was forced to sit in formal seiza and received a lecture that was long, harsh, and impassioned, continuing until the late-rising Ram finally appeared.
—As a postscript, in the Roswaal mansion, mayonnaise was given a firm place of honor thanks to Emilia's opinion that "it's delicious, so it'd be nice to always have it around." It was stockpiled in strict observance of "in moderation."
Additionally, while the mayonnaise-making had originally been started to build Rem's confidence, the result was that Rem developed a deep fear of mayonnaise. Combined with the fact that she was naturally suited to making it, the task was ultimately delegated to Ram.
The First Mayonnaise Incident concludes—continuing to the Second Mayonnaise Incident.