The moment the Hydra perished completely, the crystallization dissolved.
Zenis was alive.
She wasn't conscious, but she was definitely breathing.
All around us, dozens of enormous magic crystals and heaps of magic stones that had once formed the Hydra's scales lay scattered across the ground.
In the back of the room, piles of magic-infused items had fallen.
They'd fetch a fortune if sold.
But not a single person was eager to pick them up.
I completed the work with a detachment that surprised even myself.
It felt like being in a dream — a floaty, weightless sensation.
When spoken to, I answered, but I wasn't thinking about anything.
It was as though someone else entirely was answering on my behalf.
Part of me wanted to bring the remains home, and I had all sorts of thoughts about it.
But I simply did as those around me instructed regarding what to do with the dead in the labyrinth.
Only three things remained as keepsakes.
The thin metal armor that had protected Paul's torso.
A magic-infused dagger said to deal devastating damage to tough opponents.
And the beloved sword Paul had always carried.
With my fire magic, Paul was reduced to bones in no time.
I asked Elinariゼ if burying him like this might leave behind a skeleton, and she told me that was exactly right.
So I crushed the bones and decided to take them with us.
I fashioned a small clay vessel from dirt and placed Paul's crushed bones inside.
"......"
A strange feeling settled over me.
I couldn't quite name it, but it constricted my chest with an overwhelming force.
"Let's go home."
On the way back, I was useless.
My steps were as unsteady as ever — I couldn't even feel myself walking.
The enemy was defeated, and I could use magic again.
But without
No matter how many mistakes I made, nobody said a word.
Elinariゼ, Roxy, Talhand, Ghyslay — nobody said a word.
No complaints, no comfort.
Everyone had lost the ability to speak.
It took us three days to escape the labyrinth.
Zenis was carried on someone's back the entire time.
There were a few intense fights along the way, but she never woke up in the labyrinth.
Growing anxious, I kept telling myself that as long as she was breathing, she was alive.
I barely remembered what I said to the three people who came to greet us in town.
I was pretty sure Elinariゼ and Ghyslay handled the detailed explanations.
I couldn't say anything.
Not a single thing.
Shera collapsed into tears, and Vella sank to the ground with a stunned expression.
Even seeing that, I couldn't say anything.
Lillia was different.
She wore a blank, mask-like face.
Hiding her expression, she looked at me and pulled me into a tight embrace.
Then she told me it had been a hard time, that I'd done well, that I should leave the rest to her now and go get some rest.
I nodded with an empty feeling in my chest.
Back at the inn, I took off my robe.
The shoulder area was ripped to shreds.
I'd have to sew it back together.
Thinking that, I tossed the robe into a corner of the room.
My staff, my tool bag, everything — I threw it all on top of the robe.
And then collapsed onto the bed.
--- That night, I had a dream.
In the dream, I was my old self.
The sluggish, pathetic NEET I used to be.
But the
It wasn't a white room, either.
Memories from my previous life.
Yes — a dream of my past life.
I couldn't tell when it was from.
But there was a scene I recognized.
The living room of my old house.
My parents from my previous life were in the living room, discussing me.
Because it was a dream, I couldn't hear their voices.
Yet somehow, I could tell they were talking about me.
Were my parents worried about me back then?
In the end, I left that world without even learning the cause of their deaths.
Since they died at the same time, illness was ruled out.
An accident — or perhaps it was suicide.
What had they thought of me in their final moments?
What did they think of this freeloading NEET?
They must have felt frustrated.
They must have felt disappointed.
But the truth, I'll never know.
My mother, whom I rarely saw in those days.
My father, who at some point had stopped saying anything to me.
When they died, did they spare even a passing thought for me?
And what about me — what was I doing? I didn't even attend the funeral.
I didn't pick up their bones. What on earth was I doing?
Why couldn't I even show up to the funeral?
Part of it was fear.
The looks that would be directed at me — at this worthless NEET — even though my own parents had died. The contempt. The hostility.
But that wasn't all.
I wasn't that noble a person.
The truth is, back then, I didn't feel even the slightest bit of sadness about their deaths.
I simply hadn't loved them enough to grieve.
What I felt more strongly was sheer panic — what am I going to do now?
I couldn't even look at my own future.
I'm not trying to make excuses, but I think it was inevitable.
When you're backed into a corner with no way out, when you've lost your last escape route — if you've been thrown into the open sea without any resolve to face what's ahead, anyone would want to avoid reality at least once or twice.
I regret it, but I can't bring myself to blame myself.
But at least...
At least I should have gone to the funeral, shouldn't I?
I don't know what I would have thought at the time.
But I should have at least seen my parents' faces one last time.
I should have at least picked up their bones.
Paul — what did his face look like at the end?
He wasn't smiling.
He didn't look satisfied, either.
But there was a trace of relief at the corner of his lips.
What was he trying to say in his final moment?
What kind of expression did my parents from my past life die with?
Why am I unable to remember?
I wished I could go back now and see their faces.
--- The next day.
Waking up was the worst.
A feeling of wanting to do absolutely nothing consumed my entire body.
But I forced myself out of bed somehow.
Then I made my way to the next room, where Lillia and Zenis were.
When Lillia saw me, she stared and asked: "Lord
"...Yes, for the time being. I can't very well be the only one resting, can I?"
"I think everyone would be perfectly fine with you resting, my lord."
Part of me wanted to do exactly as Lillia suggested and lie back down.
But more than that, I felt I had to do something — I had to keep moving.
"Please let me stay here."
"...Very well. Then please, have a seat."
In the end, the two of us kept watch over Zenis.
Zenis had been asleep for days now.
Three days in the labyrinth, one more day traveling back — she hadn't woken up in four days.
Watching her now, she looked like she was simply sleeping.
Despite having been bedridden for so long, she didn't particularly look emaciated.
She looked remarkably healthy.
She was the Zenis I remembered.
I'd expected her to look a little older, but she didn't seem to.
I touched her cheek and hand — warm. I brought my ear close to her mouth and felt her breath.
But she wouldn't wake up.
Could it be that she'd stay like this forever?
Could she simply wither away and die like this?
That thought flickered through my mind.
But I didn't say it out loud.
There was no need to say things that didn't need saying.
Lillia and I quietly watched over Zenis.
From time to time, Vella and Shera came by, and we talked about various things.
But nothing stuck in my memory.
I ate a meal together with Lillia.
I had no appetite, and the food barely went down.
I tried to wash it down with water, but it caught in my throat and nearly came back up.
Zenis changed in the early afternoon.
Right before Lillia and my eyes, accompanied by a small moan, her eyelids slowly opened.
"Mm..."
The three people present were me, Lillia, and Vella.
Vella immediately ran off to summon the others.
I watched as Zenis tried to sit up.
Normally, after days of bedrest, even sitting up would be difficult.
But with Lillia's help — and largely under her own power — Zenis raised her body.
"Good morning, madam," Lillia said with a gentle smile, addressing Zenis.
Zenis, wearing the dazed expression of someone who'd just woken up, stared at Lillia.
"...Mm."
Zenis's voice.
It was a voice I recognized.
Come to think of it, it might have been the first voice I ever heard after being born into this world.
It was a voice that put you at ease.
I felt a wave of relief.
Paul was dead.
But the person Paul had tried to save was alive, just like this.
She was safe.
Paul's will had been fulfilled.
When Zenis learned that Paul had died, she would grieve.
She might cry.
But for now — just the three of us, Zenis, Lillia, and me — we would share in Paul's death together.
"Mom..."
Of course, now wasn't the time for that.
She needed to settle in a bit, to properly understand the situation.
Then it would be fine.
We could go slowly, taking it step by step.
I didn't think it was right to shove a painful reality on her all at once.
First, we needed to celebrate that Zenis was alive and that we had been reunited.
Before grieving, we needed to rejoice.
"...?"
Zenis tilted her head ever so slightly.
That small gesture clutched at my chest.
She'd forgotten me.
It couldn't be helped.
It was the same as what happened with Roxy.
Time had passed, and my face had changed.
It was a little shocking, but it could become a funny story later.
"Madam, this is Lord Rudeus. Nearly ten years have passed since then."
"......"
Zenis stared blankly at me.
Then she shifted her gaze to Lillia.
Lillia's face was reflected in her eyes.
"...?"
And again, she tilted her head.
Lillia's eyes flew open.
Something was wrong.
Something was very wrong.
Up until now, Zenis's face had been expressionless.
I'd chalked it up to the grogginess of just waking up.
But maybe that wasn't it.
She hadn't uttered a single word.
Only that one groan.
And now that gesture.
The way she looked at Lillia — as if she'd forgotten her.
If it were just me, it would be one thing.
But forgetting Lillia — was that even possible?
Lillia had aged a little, but she hadn't changed that much.
Her hairstyle, her clothing — they were the same as before.
"...ah... aa..."
A halting voice.
Hollow eyes.
Lost words.
Her reaction to seeing us.
"Could it be... madam...?"
Lillia seemed to have realized it too.
"Could it be."
And the rest of those words.
Even as understanding dawned.
Even as my heart raced with the hope that it wasn't true.
Lillia and I spoke to her again and again.
"......"
The conclusion came quickly.
Zenis responded to our voices.
But she never spoke.
She never understood what was being said.
"Lord Rudeus... the madam has... lost everything."
Zenis had lost it all.
Her memories. Her knowledge. Her wisdom.
Everything required for a person to remain a person.
She was a husk.
She didn't remember Paul.
She didn't remember Lillia.
She didn't remember me.
She didn't remember who did what, how things unfolded, or what had happened.
In other words — she couldn't even grieve for Paul's death.
She couldn't share in our sorrow.
Confronted with that fact.
"Ahh..."
My heart broke.
--- How many days had passed since then?
My sense of time had become hazy.
Wake up. Sleep.
Sleep. Wake up.
I repeated the cycle over and over.
When I slept, I dreamed of the moment Paul died.
Paul slashing at the Hydra.
The Hydra swinging its heads.
Paul shoving me out of the way, getting me to dodge.
Then Paul moved again, and the Hydra moved again.
I couldn't move.
Paul kicked me away.
A Hydra head came crashing down in front of me.
And I jolted awake.
Confirming once more that it wasn't a dream, I collapsed back down.
I didn't have the energy to stand up.
All I could think about was Paul.
Paul.
That guy.
He was never someone you'd call praiseworthy.
He was terrible with women, vain, weak under pressure, and ran to the bottle.
Even right before battle, he never said anything that a father would say.
As a father, he was probably a failure.
But I liked him.
Though that affection was a little different.
Different from what Paul felt.
From my perspective, Paul was more like a bad friend.
My mental age was older, but his body was older.
In terms of life experience, Paul probably had me beat — I'd been a shut-in for over a decade and change.
But none of that mattered.
Age was irrelevant.
When I talked with Paul, it felt like he and I were about the same.
I hadn't been able to see him as a 'father.' Maybe I never truly thought of myself as his child.
But.
Paul saw me as his child.
He looked at this person with the soul of a thirty-something NEET stuffed into a child's body — at someone whose behavior was clearly off the rails — and he never once averted his eyes.
He saw me as his family.
Sure, he had his shortcomings as a father.
But he never once saw me as a stranger.
He never acted like I was some outsider.
He saw me strictly as his son.
As his 'son' with abnormal powers.
He faced me with sincerity.
He was a father.
He had always been a father.
A father who took on more than his share of burdens and kept fighting for his family.
And in the end, he shielded me.
As his child, as his father — he shielded me.
With his life.
As though it were the most natural thing in the world.
And because of that, he died.
What a cruel joke.
I'm not even a child.
But Paul was a father.
Paul had two real children.
Not a counterfeit like me — two genuine, honest-to-goodness daughters.
Two daughters whose souls weren't inhabited by a man from another world. Two daughters who were sweet and precious.
If anyone deserved protecting, it was them.
And he had a wife, didn't he?
Two wives, actually.
Zenis, whom he'd searched for desperately for years and finally found.
Lillia, who'd supported him all the while until Zenis was found.
Two wives and two daughters.
Four people in total.
He was going to leave all four of them behind, Paul? What were you going to do?
They were the most important people in your life.
...Maybe, to Paul, I was one of those people too.
Two wives, two daughters, and one son.
Five people — and maybe each one of us was equally precious to him.
I never saw him as a father.
Yet he treasured me above all else.
Damn it. Why?
Paul.
Give me a break, would you?
How many times did you tell me?
"Rudy, I'll see you as an equal."
"I'll see you as a man."
I'd gotten married, bought a house, taken in my sister — yeah, I felt pretty grown up.
I came to rescue you, and I did well in the labyrinth.
I thought I was an equal.
You saw me that way too, right?
That's why, in the end, you told me to save you even if it meant dying, wasn't it?
So then why?
Why...?
Why would you shield someone who was already a grown man?
When I get back, what am I supposed to say to Norn and Aisha?
How am I supposed to explain this situation?
What am I supposed to do about Zenis in her current state?
What am I supposed to do from here on out?
Tell me, Paul.
Normally, that's the kind of thing you should be figuring out.
Damn it.
Why'd you have to go and die?
Ah, for the love of — If I'd been the one to die, you would've been the only one suffering.
...If we'd both survived, nobody would have had to suffer at all.
(...Oh no.)
The grief came flooding in.
Tears spilled uncontrollably.
Back in my previous life... no, in my past life, when my father and mother died, I hadn't cried at all.
I hadn't even felt sad.
But when Paul dies, the tears won't stop.
It hurts.
I can't believe it.
Someone irreplaceable is gone.
Paul was a father.
He was my father.
Even though I never really thought of him as one.
He was just as much a parent as my mother and father from my past life.
--- I thought, and thought.
I cried, and cried.
Until I was exhausted.
(...I don't want to do anything.)
Mired in apathy, I couldn't move from the room at the inn.
I knew there were things I needed to do, but my willpower was gone.
I couldn't even muster the strength to leave the room.
Sleep, wake, sit up.
Changing positions, I simply let the days pass.
At some point, Lillia and Elinariゼ came to see me.
They said something.
But I couldn't understand what they were saying.
It was as if the language had suddenly been switched on me — I couldn't process the words.
Even if I grasped the meaning, I wouldn't have been able to answer.
I had no words.
No words for them.
If.
If only I'd been better with a sword.
If I could have cleaved through the Hydra's heads.
Would Paul still be alive?
Paul and I slashing, Paul and Roxy burning.
If we'd fought that way, couldn't we have beaten it more easily?
At the very least, if I'd been clad in battle aura.
If I'd been able to move a little faster.
Wouldn't I have been able to avoid the Hydra's attack without Paul having to shield me?
Or perhaps.
Back there, even if it meant punching Paul, we should have retreated first.
Fallen back, calmed down, held a strategy meeting.
Wouldn't we have come up with a better plan?
Instead of such a desperate gamble — a brilliant strategy.
If things had gone even a little differently, everything would have been different.
But it's too late.
Paul is dead.
My parents' dying faces — I'll never see them now.
No matter what I say now, it's too late.