Having sealed the contract with
As ever, Subaru continued his reclusive lifestyle, never venturing beyond the guest room. Beatrice, for her part, wasn't the type to stick to his side around the clock either.
In fact, from the night of the fourth day through the entirety of the fifth—that crucial window—Subaru had negotiated to have her assign more of her attention to his protection elsewhere. If anything, Beatrice wanted nothing to do with being near him and hadn't visited his room even once since that incident.
The one who did visit, time and again, was— "Oh, good. Beatrice really did come to apologize. How admirable, how admirable."
—
Her frequent visits gnawed at Subaru's conscience, but they also brought a single ray of light to this world that was nothing but darkness. No exaggeration—she was like a goddess.
Even after being rebuffed so harshly, Emilia still drew closer to Subaru. When he'd offered that half-hearted, mumbled apology out of sheer guilt— "You must have been really on edge, right? Everyone has moments like that, so it can't be helped. I just wish
She'd let his rude words slide, gently, without a hint of reproach.
As for the small request she'd made after that, Subaru hadn't been able to give her a clear answer.
Simply put: if he judged someone untrustworthy enough to know the truth, his mouth would be sealed—by them. And yet, having tasted the depths of their misplaced loyalty, he honestly couldn't bring himself to hate the two of them outright.
One of them was definitely involved. The other, perhaps, knew nothing at all—a flicker of optimistic hope, perhaps, but a flimsy shield nonetheless.
Day by day, Subaru's spirit ground itself down between hope and the disappointment that always overshadowed it.
Emilia watched him wither like this, her gaze steady, then glanced at the untouched meal set beside his bed.
"So you really haven't eaten anything."
"…Sorry."
A troublesome guest, that was Subaru. Not only had he not been allowed to show his face—and had, in fact, been greeted with outright abuse upon their first meeting—but the mansion's staff never slacked on preparing his meals. Not once.
Every time, the food came back nearly untouched. Even knowing full well he wasn't welcome, they never changed expression, never uttered a word of complaint, and performed their duties to the letter.
One was tactless. The other was insolently courteous. Neither was the type to half-ass their work, and Subaru knew that. And yet— —Could the food be poisoned?
That thought crossed his mind every time he looked at a meal.
He didn't think they were the sort to resort to such methods. If they were, they'd have had countless chances during the previous loops.
But their actions had always come for him directly. That was why he was half-convinced that when they came to kill him this time, they'd come with a weapon in hand.
Knowing so many of her good qualities, yet facing the reality that she was determined to kill him—that was where Subaru's despair truly began.
In this state of mind, the reason he couldn't bring himself to eat was simple: his insides wouldn't stop trembling from sheer tension and anxiety.
The food was surely delicious. He'd tasted it, confirmed it, over and over. He'd even thought, someday he'd like to be able to cook like that.
"If you don't eat at least a little, your body will suffer. It might be tough, but…"
"My stomach just won't take it. …If Emilia-tan went 'Aaahn' and fed me, maybe I could manage."
He aimed a half-hearted quip at her worried face and cursed his own inadequacy.
He couldn't even pretend to be his usual flippant self anymore—not toward someone who genuinely cared about his well-being.
But— "Okay, here. Aaahn."
"…Huh?"
"I said, Aaahn."
Emilia sat with the tray on her lap, spoon in hand, looking at him.
The spoon held a scoop of soup—still faintly warm—and was making its way, slowly, toward Subaru's mouth.
Unable to grasp her intentions, Subaru waved his hands frantically.
"W-wait, hold on, Emilia-tan! What are you doing?"
"What do you mean? You said you'd eat if I did this, right? So eat up. I'll feed you."
"The thing is, there's a kind of… inherent elegance in refusing something like this, you know? Or rather, even if you do it, the real thrill comes from the girl going beet-red the first time it happens—"
"So someone who talks like a little kid thinks there's something embarrassing about having his food fed to him? Come on, stop being silly."
面对 her forceful insistence, Subaru found himself cornered into opening his mouth. With his ears burning from humiliation— "A-aaahn."
"There. Swallow. Next, next. Here, here, here, here."
"That's way too fast! First time doing this and there's no lingering sensation at all!?"
It was like watching a speed-eating championship—mechanical, efficient movements. Spoon after spoon was thrust before him, and before he knew it, Subaru had been drawn into Emilia's scheme. She fed him until every last bite was gone.
The tray cleared clean, a satisfied Emilia deepened her smile. "Mm."
"There. What do you say when you're done?"
"Much obliged."
"That's terrible manners. Properly. One more time."
"Thank you for the meal."
"You're welcome. It was nothing."
Subaru bowed deeply. Emilia curtsied in return.
As for Subaru—after starving himself for over two days, having all that food suddenly packed into his stomach produced a strange sense of fullness that pressed on his insides.
He didn't think he'd eaten that much, he tilted his head— "You haven't had a proper meal in a while, so we wanted to be careful so your stomach wouldn't be shocked. Ram suggested it, and Rem made it. They're good girls, you know."
Emilia's words, spoken with the pride of someone showing off her little sisters, pierced Subaru's chest like a blade.
The kindness that should have made him cry with gratitude—right now, it was the kind of thoughtfulness that made him want to cry for entirely different reasons.
Be kind, act familiar—and there's always something underneath.
Yes, once you've been made to realize that— "Well then, I've fed Subaru, and staying too long would just tire him out, so I'll head back."
"If you want, you could always stay and sleep beside me."
"I'm glad you seem to be feeling better. But I have things I need to do, too. I snuck out, so I can't stay long."
Emilia winked apologetically, a hint of mischief in her expression.
Suddenly recalling her usual schedule around this time, Subaru was struck by just how fortunate he was.
At this hour, she was supposed to be holed up in her room, buried in her studies.
She was carrying the weight of a kingdom on her shoulders, pushing toward the future, stacking effort upon effort.
And she was using her precious time to worry about a pathetic loser of fate who couldn't move forward, had nothing but his body, and was trapped in an endless loop.
Someone whispered in his heart: Are you really fine with losing to fate?
Feeling pushed forward by a competitive fire that sounded exactly like his own voice, Subaru raised his head.
"Hey,
"…I was being quiet because I felt like my loveliness didn't match the mood, but what's up?"
As the silver-haired girl turned to leave with the tray, Subaru called her by a different name. He watched as a small cat emerged from within the cascade of silver.
Locking eyes with those dark orbs, Subaru pointed at him.
"I think Emilia-tan is probably safe, but…protect her, okay? Properly, thoroughly. Even if you have to use that tiny body of yours as a shield."
"That my size can cover means it's a pretty small-scale crisis."
"Shut up. Just promise me. This time around, I can barely keep myself together."
Subaru doubted the danger extended to Emilia, at least.
Roswaal had no reason to harm her—and if Roswaal had no reason, then neither did those twins.
The only person in this mansion whose life was truly at risk was, without question, Subaru himself.
"Just worry about my own life, huh. Simple. …No, wait. Now that I think about it, last time too… I don't think I actually did anything that impressive."
If the pattern held, the handsome guy had swooped in and stolen all the credit while Subaru was busy flailing around. That was the grim summary of the previous loop.
Both last time and this, hadn't Subaru just been getting jerked around?
"I hate to interrupt when you're enjoying your confusion, but I'll take that warning to heart. —Yep, doesn't seem like it's born of lies or malice."
Puck nodded, his voice dropping slightly.
Looking into those pitch-black eyes that caught no light at all—impossible to read, yet somehow both eerie and reassuring—Subaru pulled his chin down.
Left out of the conversation despite being the subject of it, Emilia pouted.
"What are you two agreeing on? Are you plotting something bad?"
"Absolutely not! We're just telling her to be careful about things—since she's a girl, you know? Watch out for carriages, watch out for men!"
"Carriages… like horse-drawn or dragon-drawn ones? What do you mean, watch out for men?"
"I mean there aren't all that many men out there who are as devoted and honest as me, so Emilia-tan should listen to her dad and figure out whether someone's trustworthy before she lets them close."
Hearing Subaru's usual flippancy return, Puck nodded along.
"That's right, Lia. From now on, don't dismiss my nagging as petty complaints—take it seriously. First of all, any man with dark hair and a nasty look in his eyes is bad news. If you bring one of those home, I won't let him in ever again."
"Brutus! You again!?"
Subaru shouted at Pack, who had casually stabbed him in the back. Emilia tilted her head at the unfamiliar name. Subaru cleared his throat to regain his composure.
"Anyway, that's about it. Be especially careful at night. Emilia-tan is, uh, cute, so she probably fights the constant fear of someone creeping in on her at night."
"The floor where my room is supposedly has a guardian that triggers when anyone steps in without permission."
"Yikes. Good thing I'm exhausted from work and pass out cold. Even if I wanted to creep in on someone, I wouldn't have the energy."
"I'll leave the door unlocked, so if you've got the nerve, feel free to try."
Emilia raised one hand in a small wave, said her piece, and left. The kitten on her shoulder mimicked the gesture.
At least he'd managed to warn her and her guardian.
With that, the two of them should be fine.
"Ah, damn…"
The moment relief flooded his heart, drowsiness pounced on his consciousness like a tidal wave.
The sleep he'd been warding off with pain finally seized its chance, stripping him of every last shred of resistance.
The fact that his hunger had been inadvertently sated may well have been one of the reasons he lacked the energy to fight it off.
I can't fall asleep, he thought, biting his lip—but his consciousness sank gently into a haze.
※※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ Between dream and reality, Subaru's consciousness drifted like a cloud.
He'd heard somewhere that dreaming during sleep was a byproduct of the brain organizing information.
If that was true, then the fact that horrifying visions continued to assault him even while asleep—preventing any rest—made a cruel kind of sense. It was as though his mind was sorting through vivid memories in the worst way possible.
The sensation of being torn in half. The instant his skull was shattered. The pain of having his leg blown away. The loss of having his throat pierced. The despair of having his gut sliced open. Even freed from reality, these visions on the abyss's edge continued to torment Subaru.
He groaned, thrashed, drenched in sweat. Tears spilled from the corners of his eyes as he wrestled with the emotions surging from within.
This hurts. This is awful. I'm sad. I'm in pain. I can't take this anymore. I want it to end.
Whimpers, pleas, words of weakness poured out without cease, and with each one his soul was shaved away. Shaved and shaved until nothing remained.
That was how it felt—both mind and body, utterly spent.
Then, suddenly, the tension left his body.
The chill, the dread, that had been making his core tremble—as if swept away in an instant.
The reason was a hand.
Someone was holding his hand.
As Subaru's consciousness drifted in the liminal space between waking and sleep, someone from the real side was reaching out, trying to anchor him.
It was warm. It was gentle. He could feel himself being cherished.
A sense of being saved washed over him. A soft breeze blew through his ravaged heart.
His pained expression relaxed. His labored breathing returned to something calm and quiet.
Who was it? What was it?
Was it real—or was this just another convenient dream?
While the lingering warmth on the palms of both his left and right hands remained— ※※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ "Are you just going to lie there like a dead fish forever?"
"Ungh—ow!"
Kicked violently off the bed and forcibly jolted awake, Subaru let out a groan.
His body awoke to the hard floor. He grabbed the bed frame and hauled himself up. Standing on the other side of the bed, arms crossed and not bothering to hide her displeasure, was Beatrice.
She sniffed with supreme arrogance.
"The agreed-upon time has arrived, so I've come—reluctantly."
"There are ways to be mean without actually being hated, you know. Right now you're nailing those."
With his upper body slumped over the bed, Subaru delivered the line in a exhausted tone.
Then it hit him—he'd been asleep. A chill ran down his spine. He'd been so intent on staying alert, and yet— "Of all times to doze off on the fourth night. Am I seriously trying to get myself killed?"
"Are you going to keep whining, I suppose? Now hurry up."
Ignoring his theatrics, Beatrice beckoned with one hand and headed for the door. Panicking, Subaru scrambled after her.
"Hold on—where are we going?"
"You think I'd spend a night in this smelly room of yours? No thank you. Betty's place is the Forbidden Library—that is non-negotiable."
Beatrice snapped her fingers lightly and touched the door.
No visible change occurred, but that was likely all it took to prepare for Door Crossing.
Beatrice's offer was unexpected, but Subaru recognized a stroke of luck when he saw one. Her Door Crossing was a nightmare for potential attackers—it made it impossible to pin down where a surprise strike might come from. It didn't seem to work on Subaru specifically, but he'd already confirmed that Rem had no effective countermeasure against it.
"You actually put a lot of thought into this, huh."
"If we don't hurry, the tea will get cold. Let's go, I suppose."
At Subaru's impressed remark, Beatrice offered a flat retort. His assumption that she'd been concerned about him was, apparently, nothing more than wishful thinking.
He grimaced at the misstep, and then, almost without thinking, looked down at his hands.
Nothing seemed different—but for some reason, he couldn't shake the feeling of unease.
Come to think of it, while he was sleeping… someone had… held his hand…
"Beatrice. I mean, this is probably a long shot, but you didn't, like, hold my hand while I was sleeping, did you?"
"That is indeed a long shot. Even if nii-chan asked me to, I would politely decline."
"You really didn't have to put it like that. …But hey, when we die, we're going out together!"
"Absolutely not, I suppose."
Subaru gave a thumbs-up, flashing his teeth weakly.
Same old pose—but he still hadn't quite recovered.
With a sigh of exasperation, Beatrice stepped through the door. Subaru hurriedly straightened himself up and followed her through.
As always, Subaru found the room a paradox—serene yet cluttered.
Shelves packed with books stood endlessly in every direction, and no matter how many times he visited, the room never changed.
Beatrice had already made her way to her usual spot by the stepladder. Rather than standing on it, she sat on it as though it were a chair—which, Subaru noted, was essentially abandoning its purpose.
"Just kill time however you like. Nothing will happen in here. …Well, nothing should happen, but I'll honor the contract."
"Even if you tell me to kill time…"
Tension and the anxiety that came with it. He'd been trying to pull himself together for a while now, but as the fateful hour approached, calm was beyond him.
Subaru scanned the room, comparing the many volumes lining the shelves— "Oh, right. Do they have any books written entirely in 'kagi-kakko'?"
"…They exist, if that's what you mean. Don't tell me you can't read any other script?"
"Embarrassingly, no. But hey, I've been trying."
He'd tried so hard—while the twins watched over him.
He'd torn open his own wounds with spectacular care, dealing himself massive damage.
"Setting foot in the Mathers family's Forbidden Library and not reading a single thing—that's like carrying treasure you never use. Betty rarely invites anyone in here, you know. Once every few years at most."
"Even so, a book I can't read is just a stack of paper. And even if access to the Forbidden Library is rare…"
Unfortunately, this room held no novelty for Subaru.
Telling Beatrice that now would only make things worse, and there was no point in bragging, so Subaru kept his mouth shut.
But when Subaru trailed off mid-sentence, Beatrice furrowed her brow. To redirect the conversation, he raised a finger— "Come to think of it, do you stay in this room all the time?"
"That is the nature of the contract."
"Another contract. At your age, always talking about contracts… Must've been caught by one heck of a saleswoman. Insurance agents are always loudest when they're the best, huh."
"Every single one of them was a contract I chose myself."
Her tone was blunt, cutting off any further inquiry.
Her expression gone flat, Beatrice's words rang with finality—and Subaru gave a quiet nod.
"As the relevant party has testified—"
"If you don't shut up soon, I'm going to tear up this contract!"
Rising from her seat, Beatrice pulled books from the shelves one after another and hurled them at Subaru.
She who normally had no qualms about unleashing magic was now resorting to physical attacks—a truly rare sight.
Subaru caught the frail girl's projectiles with ease, stacking them on a nearby table. When the barrage suddenly stopped, he frowned in confusion— Only to realize, belatedly, that all seven books she'd thrown at him were written entirely in 'kagi-kakko.' He looked up, turning to Beatrice.
As if mocking his delayed comprehension, she waved her hand.
"Is that enough for you? Not too difficult, I hope?"
"Not too much for me either, I think! Maybe!"
"It's creepy when both of them talk like babies!"
"My, my. I was just matching your level, I suppose. If Subaru really wanted to go that route, we could go all the way back to the fetal stage."
"—Pull the umbilical cord, slap the placenta. That's communication."
Beatrice gave a resigned shrug, gave up on the conversation entirely, and opened her book.
Watching her pointedly ignore him, Subaru sat in the nearest chair and picked up one of the books she'd thrown his way.
He was too embarrassed to say thank you—but the gesture had genuinely made him happy.
※※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ The silence of the Forbidden Library passed slowly.
Neither spoke. The only sound was the soft, alternating rustle of pages turning.
The books Beatrice had selected were, like before, mostly children's stories and fairy tales. Written entirely in 'kagi-kakko' meant they were essentially just hiragana, so a bias toward children's literature was understandable.
But even this reading time was wasted on Subaru—his eyes merely traced the same page back and forth, over and over.
At first he'd had the composure to actually read, but as time crept forward, that mental breathing room was peeled away, bit by bit.
—There was no way to observe the outside world from the sealed Forbidden Library.
The room had no windows—it was, as Beatrice had once said, a place where time stood frozen.
Not literally, perhaps, but at least that was how it felt.
What time was it outside now?
By the time Subaru had been brought into the Forbidden Library, sunset had been imminent.
If everything went as planned, he simply needed to survive here for about half a day until he reached the morning of the fifth day.
But in this stagnant space, he couldn't gauge the passage of even that half day at all.
It felt as though only a little over an hour had passed—or perhaps nearly ten.
The shortness of breath from his anxiety and tension further eroded his ability to perceive reality. He could no longer trust his own judgment.
And yet, he hesitated to ask Beatrice.
Not out of some misguided chivalry about not disturbing her reading—no, he was afraid that asking might somehow change things.
Stagnant time was suffocating. But the possibility that something might suddenly, drastically shift—that was terrifying too.
Unable to move forward, unable to retreat, he could only stand frozen before the overwhelming enormity of time itself.
His fingers tingled as they reached for a page. His tongue was parched. His heart hammered at its familiar breakneck speed, his ears rang high and sharp, and he could hear the blood coursing through every vein.
How long had he been trapped in this tension?
If the beginning had been unjust, then at least the ending should have come with some warning.
"…Someone's calling."
The murmur broke the silence of the library without warning.
Subaru snapped his head up. Beatrice was beside him, folding her book and setting it aside. She stepped down from the stepladder with a lightness that belied the situation.
"Someone's calling, I suppose."
As though she'd forgotten Subaru was even there, she murmured to herself and flicked her finger.
In an instant, Subaru's body was seized by a sensation of space itself warping.
A feeling like floating attacked him from every direction, and despite lasting only a heartbeat, it left him drained—exhaustion and nausea spreading lazily through every limb.
He caught himself before sliding off the chair and glared bitterly at Beatrice, the source of it all. She finally noticed his glare and— "Oh, that's right. You were here. I'd forgotten, I suppose."
"Standing right in front of you and forgetting—low, even as a joke."
"Priorities, I suppose. —Nii-chan is calling."
With that, Beatrice passed Subaru and headed for the door.
Subaru reached for her back as she moved to leave as though it were the most natural thing in the world, unable to conceal his frustration.
"W-wait! If we go outside now…"
"You can stay hidden if you like. It's safer in here."
The undisguised contempt in her voice made his blood boil. Subaru kicked himself out of the chair and chased after her. His hand landed on the door handle, and he hesitated for just a few seconds.
But— "Ah, screw it. What's the big deal!"
A foul-mouthed self-pep-talk, and he wrenched the door open.
The instant after— "Ah—"
A foolish sound spilled involuntarily from his mouth.
He shielded his eyes from the blinding light, hand raised to greet the morning sun. He staggered forward as if compelled, reaching the hallway. Through the window at the far end—the one overlooking the garden—he could see the sky above.
There, hanging low and bright, was a sun that had only just begun its ascent.
The dawn he had craved so desperately, the morning of the fifth day he had failed to reach no matter how many times he tried.
"Could it… have I… made it past the fourth night?"
He couldn't believe what he was seeing. With almost enough force to shatter the window, he threw his hands against it and shoved. Cool air poured in, tousling his bangs as the wind touched his face. The vivid scent of morning hit him—a cold, newborn breeze that scattered the mansion's stale air.
His legs gave out. He crumpled backward without resistance, his back hitting the wall, and slid to the ground, drained of every ounce of strength to stand.
Shell-shocked. There was no other word for it.
He couldn't even tell dream from reality—the situation was beyond anything he'd imagined.
He'd given up. He'd despaired. He'd been ground down to nothing.
And yet Subaru had survived the fourth night and arrived at the fifth day.
"Hah… hahaha…"
Before he knew it, a dry laugh was leaking from his mouth.
Once it started, there was no stopping it.
"Hehehe, hahaha. What the hell. Hey, what the hell. I can't… hehe…"
There was no way to properly express what he felt. He hugged his knees, crouching in the middle of the hallway, laughing like a man who'd lost his mind.
He couldn't form the words. They wouldn't come. But at last Subaru— "…Subaru?"
The voice that cut through his hollow rejoicing was like the chime of a silver bell.
He raised his gaze, reluctant. At the far end of the hallway stood a silver-haired girl.
Emilia. On the morning of the fifth day, he had found her alive and well.
They had both survived the fourth night. That fact stirred something in Subaru's chest—a nameless, formless swell of emotion.
But— "Emilia…?"
While joy was expanding in Subaru's heart, Emilia stared at him in shock. Then she suddenly broke into a run, dashing to his side.
"Subaru… where have you been?"
"Well, I—"
"No, it's fine. That's fine. Just… come with me."
His hand was seized, and Subaru was pulled to his feet despite his surprise.
Without waiting for his response, Emilia dragged him down the corridor at a dead sprint.
Startled by her urgency, Subaru opened his mouth to ask what was going on—but the words died in his throat the moment he caught sight of her face.
Her composure was gone. Panic and desperation were written across her features.
It was the same expression she'd worn during the fight in the treasure storehouse.
"Hey, what exactly happened—"
Before he could finish the question, a sound struck his eardrums.
It was a scream. Or perhaps a shriek.
It climbed high, trailing behind it, filled to the brim with grief—a cry that could not leave a mark of sorrow on the listener's heart. It was a scream that tore like being ripped in half.
It went on and on, and even Subaru—who still didn't understand what was happening—could feel its urgency, raw and visceral.
Down the hallway, up the stairs. The second floor of the east wing housed the servants' personal quarters. They passed the room Subaru had stayed in just days ago. Emilia was heading deeper, toward the far end, where— "Roswaal…"
Standing in the hallway, the blue-haired man narrowed his eyes as Emilia and Subaru approached. Beatrice was beside him, leaning against the wall, no longer at his side. In her hands, a gray-furred cat was curled into a ball.
"Inside."
The only word Roswaal offered as Subaru reached them, desperate for an explanation.
He gestured to the adjacent room—an open door, a personal quarter.
Subaru looked to Emilia. She nodded at him. Her violet eyes were glistening, and she left him no choice.
Holding his breath, Subaru stepped into the room.
Even as he crossed the threshold, the screaming continued without pause. And now it was unmistakably coming from the room before him.
He entered. The eyelids that had closed tight from tension—he opened them gently, and Subaru looked.
The room was immaculately kept. Its occupant's meticulous nature was reflected in the sparse furnishings, tastefully arranged—every square inch of the limited space used with purpose.
The layout was nearly identical to the room Subaru had used. That such a stark difference in personality could emerge simply from a different occupant—that thought flickered through his mind.
For one brief moment, Subaru used that thought to escape.
But such flight from reality was hollow, and the world forced its conclusion upon him.
In the center of the room, there was a neatly made bed.
On that bed— "Aaaaaaahhhhhh!"
Ram screamed, her throat raw from a grief so deep it threatened to tear her apart, tears streaming in torrents— —And clut against her, Rem lay still, having drawn her final breath.