"Truthfully, you really had me on the edge of my seat. But since it was Subaru's request, I held my tongue."
"Master's an undying man, y'know. I wasn't worried or anything. If anything, the second I stood behind Master, I was worried the little squirt #2 was gonna explode into pieces."
"Ah, ugh…"
As the two of them bickered while slowly climbing the spiral staircase, Meili turned red in her cheeks and stammered, her lips flapping open and shut.
Catching sight of that change in Meili out of the corner of his eye, Subaru raised a hand toward the figures on the stairs. "Yo. Thanks for backing us up down there. At least we managed to not fall to our deaths, so that's a relief."
"…How generous of me to even consider forgiving you, considering that if you'd actually come tumbling down, I might have. So you were lucky in that regard too, I suppose."
With a little "hmph,"
"Wh-Wh-Wh-What about those two… Big brother? What does this mean, exactly…?"
At the sight of Beatrice and Shaula together, Meili turned to Subaru in a state of shock.
Reading the girl's panic loud and clear, Subaru crossed his arms.
"Well, I hate to break it to you, but that whole plan just now was pretty damn risky. I mean, I don't want to think about it, but there was a real possibility I'd just straight-up die if you'd pushed me off, you know? It just so happened that I managed to catch your arm this time."
"B-But, big sister was watching us too, wasn't she…?"
"Sure, I know
In truth, that was exactly what had happened at the end of the last loop—Subaru and Emilia had both plunged from a great height together. He'd pulled her close, but couldn't save her. That memory was still deeply lodged in his heart.
He wanted to insist that if it happened again, this time he would at least push Emilia somewhere safe, but relying on his ability to act decisively in extreme circumstances was pointless—there was simply no data to back that up.
"Which is why I took steps to make sure that 'what if' wouldn't happen. Having Beatrice and Shaula watching from below meant we had a safety net, or so I figured."
He'd seen firsthand that Beatrice was a formidable mage. As for Shaula, the details were murky, but he'd already confirmed that she was far stronger than her appearance suggested.
During the planning phase, he'd even had her lift him up to be sure. No mistakes there.
Of course, the fact that he'd been cradled like a princess in front of Emilia and Beatrice still stung.
"You went through all that trouble… but there had to be an easier, smarter way, right?"
Hearing Subaru's explanation, Meili mumbled with her gaze lowered. The shame of having been seen in such an embarrassing moment had faded, but in its place was a sense of awkward guilt.
At her words, Subaru scratched his cheek with a finger. "Yeah. You're right—there probably was an easier and smarter way. I think so too…"
"But…?"
"But at the level my brain operates at, 'easy' is just a synonym for 'compromise,' and 'smart' is neighbors with 'cheating.' I… yeah, I didn't want to compromise or cheat."
"……"
At those words, Meili's pupils narrowed, and she bit her lip ever so slightly.
Subaru watched her with a wry smile, then clenched his fist tight.
He wanted to fix everything.
He wished with all his heart to fix everything.
And if that was the case, then he wanted to do everything he could to make that happen.
"That's why I have no hesitation asking Emilia, or Beatrice, or anyone else."
"Mm, that's right. I was surprised too when Subaru first told me about this."
It was Emilia who spoke—she was still hugging Meili from behind, resting her chin on the girl's thin shoulders. She looked up at Subaru with a gentle gaze.
"But I could tell right away that Subaru was super serious about it. And also…"
"Also?"
"…I was happy that Subaru consulted me about it. He's always the type who has everything already done by the time I notice something's going on."
A smile joined that upward gaze of hers, and the girl with those deep violet eyes made Subaru catch his breath.
To Subaru's stiffened cheeks, Emilia relaxed her own face and lips, nodding.
"So this time, when he came to me and said 'what should we do?' and let me be part of figuring it out from the start, that made me happy. Hehe, how weird is that?"
"…Not that it matters, but past-me is really pissing me off right now. No, wait—getting to see this face and hear this voice is my privilege, so maybe past-me is actually the one who deserves the 'serves you right'…? What do you think, Emilia?"
"Sorry. I have no idea what you're saying."
Smiling, Emilia smoothly deflected the nonsense. Subaru's shoulders drooped.
Then, just as those three were talking, the pair from below finally finished climbing the stairs and rejoined them.
"I have to say, I'm so relieved everything turned out okay."
"Well, 'turned out okay' is a bit of a stretch. Think of it as Meili having undergone a whole internal transformation… so maybe nothing happened, but also something did."
"Ooooh, Master, you're amazing! I have no idea what you're saying but you make everything sound so cool—nobody does it better!"
"…Do you actually respect me, or not?"
Shaula was the type to react with reflexive excitement no matter what was said, but she'd also been the first to agree when Subaru proposed helping Meili.
Sure, her thought process was basically just "don't think too hard, just support whatever Subaru wants to do," but having her there was undeniably a help.
"Um, Beatrice-chan… you're not mad at me, are you?"
"Of course I'm furious. But you managed to stop yourself just before pushing Betty over the edge. And given what happened on the sand dunes, I suppose I can call it even for now."
"……"
"Ho-we-ver! What I'm wiping clean now is only the incidents from this trip. You still have the crime of burning down the old mansion along with Betty's Forbidden Library. Until that's settled, Betty will not be forgiving you anytime soon."
Beatrice crossed her short arms and answered Meili's question with a stern gaze. Meili stiffened at the words, but then Emilia giggled.
"It's hard to tell, but what Beatrice just said was 'not anytime soon.' That means if Meili behaves herself, she'll properly forgive you. She's super kind, you know."
"Emilia! Don't go saying unnecessary things!"
"…I'll try to be on my best behavior."
At the exposure of what lay behind her harsh words, Beatrice flushed red as Emilia smiled warmly at her. Watching this, Meili answered in a small voice.
Subaru watched the exchange and nodded with satisfaction several times.
Finally, he could say there was visible progress.
At the very least, he'd managed to stop the girl who had been driven to try to kill him. Of course, this was still just one of many tragedies that could unfold in this tower—but still.
"…Hey, Master, are you really okay with this?"
"Hm?"
Lost in thought, Subaru was startled when Shaula spoke up casually from right beside him. She was gazing at the scene of Beatrice and Meili interacting with Emilia between them, her dark eyes narrowed.
Then, without changing her tone, she directed a furrowed-brow glance at Subaru.
"That's the girl who tried to kill you, Master. Are you really sure it's fine to let it slide?"
"Don't ask scary things like that. …It's fine. Meili's already been punished. The problem is that nobody ever properly taught her what she was being punished for, which is why she ended up like that. So now, we're going to teach her."
"But you said the same thing before, and what if she tries to kill you again?"
"That would mean I'm just a terrible teacher. But I'm not doing this alone."
To Shaula's probing question, Subaru answered like that.
Asking him alone to reshape the moral code of an assassin raised from childhood—that would be incredibly difficult, and frankly, it wasn't a weight of responsibility he could bear.
But Subaru wasn't trying to do everything by himself.
He'd relied on Emilia and the others to stop Meili's murderous act. And he'd have Emilia and Beatrice join him for whatever came next.
"Of course, you're helping too, Shaula. Changing one person's entire value system—this is going to be a long road."
"…Me too, y'know?"
"Well, obviously. You're… well, you kinda come off as a cautionary tale in a way, but I'm not going to leave you out. You've got a body just brimming with motherly warmth, so use that to help break through Meili's stubborn heart."
At Subaru's casual words while shrugging his shoulders, Shaula pointed at herself with a bewildered expression.
No idea what she was so surprised about, but Shaula was the type who overreacted to everything, so Subaru didn't dig further.
In response to his decision, Shaula cupped her own face in her hands.
"Me too, y'know. Me too… together with Master… hehe, hehehe… hehehehe…"
"…What's wrong with you…"
"Nothing, y'know! I've made up my mind! Just like Master said, I'm gonna raise that little squirt #2 into a proper human being!"
Her face suddenly brightening, Shaula bolted over to where Emilia and the others were. She effortlessly lifted Meili's small body and pressed her against her own ample chest.
"Kyah!? Wh-What is it with you, naked big sister!? Scaring me like that all of a sudden!"
"It's fine, it's fine! Go ahead and lean on me as much as you want, little squirt #2! My chest belongs to Master, but just for now I'll share it with you! It's like the biblical thing—those who have, give to those who have not!"
"Hey, big brother!? What did you go and tell the naked big sister this time!?"
Meili, being manhandled by Shaula, decided it was Subaru's doing and raised her voice.
"Well, think of it as the price for making everyone worry. Just let yourself be pampered—looks like she means well."
"…Honestly. You people are hopeless. Fine, I forgive you. But what happened here stays a secret from the others, okay?"
Saying that, Meili puffed out her cheeks as she was squeezed against Shaula's chest. But at her words, Subaru went "Ahhh" and scratched his head.
Frowning at his reaction, Emilia answered in his place.
"Listen, Meili, this is really hard to say, but…"
"…I have a bad feeling about this."
Whether or not Meili's premonition came true— The answer was immediately clear from her reaction to Emilia's next words.
Which was— "The others who aren't here right now—
Meili scrunched up her face spectacularly.
※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ The room used for meals and discussions—they'd taken to calling it the Great Room. When Subaru and the others returned, the first person to greet them was Ram, standing with her hand on her hip.
"I see. Everything's been settled without incident. Not a bad performance. I'll commend you for it."
Ram welcomed the five of them back with those quiet words, her calm eyes taking them in.
Subaru chose to take that positively, figuring it was probably the closest thing to a glowing review in Ram's book. Either way, he'd talked big about Meili in front of her too, and he was just relieved that he wouldn't have to eat his words.
"Though it may not need saying, she's been standing right there like that the entire time waiting for you to return."
"That really goes without saying. Temper yourself,
"The moment I confirmed it was me controlling this body, this is how you react. How delightful."
It was Echidna, sitting on the floor of the Great Room, who drew that sharp retort from Ram's lips. She received Ram's acidic tone with a smile, then looked at Subaru and the others.
"Muu."
"So, what's got her so pouty?"
Echidna was referring to Meili, who was being carried piggyback by Shaula.
Meili was making a sour face and groaning, ignoring Echidna's question entirely and turning her face away with a huff. She was fully sulking now.
"Don't tell me she's angry because her murder plot was foiled? In that case, perhaps leaving her unrestrained is somewhat concerning…"
"No no no, that's not it."
Subaru firmly denied Echidna's rather alarming hypothesis—the same wariness she'd shown before, rooted in her desire to protect Anastasia, the woman whose body she currently inhabited.
He didn't want that to turn into a misunderstanding.
"She's just embarrassed that her thoughts were seen through and that everyone found out about it. It's childish and cute, don't you think?"
"Considering what she was trying to do, 'childish' and 'cute' feel like strange words to use… Hmm. Even without memories, it seems one's essential nature doesn't change so easily. You never fail to surprise me, Natsuki-kun."
"If you're enjoying yourself, that makes it all worthwhile."
Subaru winked at Echidna, which earned him a sharp "Ha!" from Ram. Then Subaru looked around the room.
"Huh? Julius isn't here? Where'd he go—bathroom or something?"
"…To think you'd assume I was off on some trivial errand while you were dealing with a life-or-death situation. I'm a bit hurt."
"I didn't say it was trivial. It could've been a pretty big errand for all I know."
A voice came from behind him, and Subaru twisted around with a grimace at the sound. There stood Julius, idly toying with his bangs.
Emilia tilted her head at his return from outside.
"Julius, did your stomach hurt?"
"Emilia-sama, please don't take his words too seriously. He is indeed your foremost knight, and someone to be trusted above all others—though at times, his behavior can be a bit much…"
"Hey, hey—don't go filling Emilia's head with nonsense. And anyway, you're the one who was missing, not me. Don't act all high and mighty just because I said 'bathroom.'"
"……Hah."
Julius fixed his yellow eyes on the snappish Subaru, paused for a beat, then let his lips relax into a smile.
It was the kind of laugh that came with a sigh—dashing in a way that suited his appearance perfectly—but to Subaru, it looked like a smile that didn't quite sit right.
"Emilia, and Natsuki-kun—there's no cause for concern. Following the previous discussion, Julius has been keeping watch outside. Since Meili possesses the ability to command magical beasts, if she truly intended to act, the greatest danger would be the beasts outside the tower."
"So I stationed myself at the balcony we found last night to monitor the exterior. Fortunately, I observed no disturbances outside the tower, and assumed the interior was safe as well…"
As he spoke, Julius shifted his gaze toward Meili. Perched on Shaula's back, Meili noticed the look and pursed her lips in discomfort.
But rather than reacting to her expression, Julius softened his cheeks with a gentle smile.
"I'm relieved it all seems to have been resolved safely. When you told me you'd lost your memories, I felt as though the world had been turned upside down…"
"That's a bit over the top. Well, I guess someone who's lost his memories can't really say that."
"Fair point. 'Upside down' might be a slight exaggeration. A slight one, though. …Regardless, I'm glad you're safe. If you'd asked Emilia-sama and the others for help only to fail, there would have been no recovering from that."
"Yeah, I'm relieved too. …We're at the right level of banter now, right?"
"…Hah."
When Subaru pointed at him and said that, Julius let out that same dashing laugh again.
This time, the faint hesitation from before seemed to be gone, and Subaru was satisfied with that.
"……"
This was, in fact, the fifth encounter since he'd started losing his memories.
It hadn't been an especially peaceful stretch of time, but the time Subaru had spent with Emilia and the others was supposed to have been, mostly. Surely within that, '
From there, wanting to avoid straying too far, wanting to keep them from hurting, Subaru intended to follow in 'Natsuki Subaru's' footsteps as carefully as he could.
He didn't want to force them to face the reality that they were losing 'Natsuki Subaru.' And besides—they wouldn't have to face that reality forever.
Once Natsuki Subaru was gone and 'Natsuki Subaru' came back, surely…
"So anyway, let's conquer this tower as our newly formed buddy team! Any objections?"
"Mm, none. Let's do our best."
"That 'buddy team' name is a bit hard to swallow…"
In any case, both Emilia and Beatrice gave their endorsements from opposite ends of the spectrum, and the others seemed to have no objections either. Subaru relaxed.
"We can take it that there's no problem with her?"
"Yeah, we're good. She shouldn't be plotting to kill me in secret anymore—at least not over trivial stuff. Whether she can keep that up going forward depends on how she grows watching our backs, so we've got to make sure we don't show her any sloppy or ugly ones."
"Understood. It's a matter of appearances, then. Leave that to me."
Julius directed his gaze toward Meili and nodded at Subaru's words, drawing his narrow chin in thought.
'Showing your back'—meaning being a role model—was perhaps an odd phrase, but Julius did seem like the right person for the job. He carried a powerful sense of self-discipline and excelled in every mannerism.
That was the fruit of his own talent, the mark of his fine upbringing, and the proof that he had worked to acquire such things.
He'd earned it through proper effort. It was something precious.
"…Subaru, are you okay? Can you talk?"
"Wha—!?"
Startled out of his daze, Subaru flinched as Emilia reached out to touch his arm and leaned in with a worried look. At her proximity, Subaru leaped backward in a panic.
Seeing his overreaction, Emilia let out a small "Oh…"
"Somehow, ever since I woke up… no, ever since you said you lost your memories, Subaru, you've been acting surprised around me all the time. Am I that weird? Is there something on my face?"
"No, not at all. It's just that you have cute eyes, a cute nose, cute lips, and cute ears."
"Cute… hehe, thank you. But if that's the case, then why?"
"Because Emilia's cuteness isn't additive on a feature-by-feature basis—it's multiplicative, and it just keeps multiplying. And your voice is cute. Your hair is cute. This is hopeless—you're an angel."
It's too dazzling to look at—Subaru covered his face and peered at Emilia through the gaps between his fingers. At Subaru's outburst, it was Beatrice who reacted.
"—! What would it sound like if you said that in a more Subaru-like way!?"
"Hah!? Wait, what?!"
"I'm asking you to say 'Emilia looks like an angel' in your own words, in your own style!"
"What kind of humiliation is that!? No way! It's embarrassing! Beatrice, you're as cute as an angel too! Don't pout!"
"Betty being as cute as an angel is a fact, but that's not the point…"
Beatrice slumped her shoulders in dejection. Feeling a pang of guilt, Subaru patted her head, and everyone settled into a circle in the Great Room.
They had these discussions often, but the lack of visible progress each time was troubling. It was probably time to push things forward more boldly.
"So anyway, Meili has officially joined our team. And for the sake of Meili's grand tour of what it means to be part of this, I want to get out of this sandy tower as fast as possible. Thoughts?"
"Statements like that really make me question whether you've actually lost your memories. …But Subaru's memory loss, while not the most critical issue, is still a problem."
"Yeah, you're right. Memories don't just vanish out of nowhere. We have to figure out a way to get Subaru's memories back…"
"Ah—about that, how about we set it aside for now?"
Subaru raised his hand to propose the idea, cutting into Ram and Emilia's discussion. At his words, not just the two of them—everyone in the meeting let out a surprised "Eh?"
The only one who didn't seem surprised was Shaula, but she was currently taking Subaru's words at face value and completely absorbed in looking after Meili, so they'd set that aside for now.
"Subaru… I really don't want you to worry us any more than you already have. Losing your memories alone was shocking enough. To say you don't even need them back—that's way too reckless."
"Yes, Subaru. Are you maybe thinking you don't want to be a burden to us? But you came to us to talk about Meili, didn't you? Just like with that, we want to think about your memories together too. Please, okay?"
"A heart-wrenching appeal! But just listen to me for a sec! I'm not saying this out of despair or anything—there's an actual reason!"
Subaru tried to defend himself against Emilia and Beatrice's concern even as it tugged at his heart. Then, holding up a finger where everyone could see it— "I think my memories being sucked away and this tower's existence are connected. Which means…"
"—In other words, by meeting the conditions to conquer the tower, the cause of Natsuki-kun's memory loss—or perhaps the key to it—will naturally come to light. Is that it?"
"Y-Yeah, exactly! That's what I mean!"
Subaru nodded vigorously, grateful that Echidna had grasped his intent. Accepting her explanation, Julius touched his chin.
"If the tower's mechanism is what took Subaru's memories, then conquering the tower should bring him closer to the answer. And perhaps it was getting too close to the answer that triggered the memory loss in the first place."
"Entirely plausible. When we conquered 'Taygeta,' the flash of insight he had drew on knowledge that was, frankly, far beyond any of us. It's possible that because of knowledge only Natsuki-kun possessed, he got ahead of us all—and lost his memories as a result."
"Wait wait wait wait—surely that's way too generous. I'm just a shut-in, okay? My special skills are making hospital corners on beds and… sewing, I guess."
"Oh, look, Subaru. This embroidery on my outfit—Subaru did it. Does seeing it jog any memories? Isn't it cute? It's
"Hmm—cute cat embroidery. But I'm drawing a blank, honestly."
As this wildly mismatched conversation played out, Emilia drooped and traced her finger over the cat embroidered on her clothes at Subaru's dismissal.
She'd even given it a name, so it must be a pet cat. She hadn't brought it to the tower, it seemed—Subaru wanted to get her home safely and reunite her with her cat as soon as possible.
But regardless— "So Barusu was alert enough to notice something extra, and in his overzealousness, had his memories taken… That tracks."
"There's an edge to how you said that, but Betty is broadly in agreement. And Subaru's idea to prioritize the tower's conquest… as much as it pains me to say, there's logic to it."
"Beatrice…"
Beatrice's dissatisfaction was still, ultimately, with not being able to prioritize Subaru's memories. The fact that she cared that much was genuinely touching, but Subaru had his own reasons for not being able to make his memories the priority. If he dawdled searching for memories, it would be too late to prevent the tragedies in the tower.
What had been happening. What was going to happen. Subaru—no, all of them—had to stand together against the calamity.
"So that's why I want to prioritize conquering the tower. I need everyone to go along with this for now."
"……"
"I don't think this is fine either. But my memory loss is a problem that dropped out of the sky. If I let it delay the original mission, we'll never get any closer to our goal. I want to do what needs to be done."
With that, Subaru looked earnestly at everyone.
He would try his hardest to minimize the downsides of 'Natsuki Subaru' not being here. In return, he was asking for their strength.
Everyone was at a loss for words for a moment at his plea—then— "You really are hopeless."
Ram sighed and shook her head. Then, looking at everyone with her pale-pink eyes— "Even without his memories, the disappointment remains unchanged, it seems. Meaning, even if Barusu's memories return, the difference in his contributions would be negligible… In which case, prioritizing his memories would be nothing but a loss. Let's conquer the tower and hope they come back as a bonus."
"'Bonus'—couldn't you phrase that a little nicer?"
"I couldn't. You lost your memories as a bonus of conquering the tower, didn't you? Then pick them up the same way. Don't trouble Ram."
—He had promised Ram. He would remember. He would get them back.
So when Subaru said he wanted to put his memories on hold, the shock to Ram's heart was immeasurable. But because that promise existed, Ram had said what she'd said first.
Because he was the kind of chronic promise-breaker he was, and because she was the kind of person who still made promises with him anyway.
"There isn't exactly an active method for retrieving memories. I agree with Natsuki-kun and Ram. To put it optimistically, time itself might shake them loose."
"I'd call it a reluctant agreement. It won't be the priority. Conquering the tower comes first. However, if we find a lead on restoring your memories, that takes priority. Emilia-sama and Beatrice-sama shouldn't have to look this distressed any longer than necessary."
Subaru nodded deeply at the words from both Echidna and Julius.
Then he turned to Emilia and Beatrice. The two met his gaze, and both hesitated a moment—then— "This time, I'll endure it, even if it hurts. But—"
"But?"
"Every now and then, let me be the one who worries about Subaru the most. Is that too much to ask?"
"…Sorry."
Realizing that what she'd said was essentially "please don't put our concerns above yours," Subaru bowed his head to Emilia's offer.
Watching the two of them, Beatrice let out a sigh.
"Betty's feelings are what Emilia just said. That should have been the most effective way to get through to you, so make sure you reflect on this properly."
"…Yeah, got it."
And so, with everyone's agreement secured, the policy of prioritizing the tower's conquest was firmly established.
With that decided, there was one thing Subaru wanted to propose first.
Which was— "Hey—how about we all search the 'Taygeta' library to see if Reid's book is in there?"