Everyone, how’s it going?
I—Leon Fou Bartfort, Marquis—am still fighting for my life today.
Right now I’ve been “expelled” on the pretext of a short‑term study abroad from the Kingdom of Holfart, and I’m attending a foreign academy.
Foreign lands are weird, huh?
It feels like the very scent of the air is different.
What really gets me is that the kingdom that kicked out the hero who saved the country, under the guise of a study abroad, treats him like a solo‑assignment even though he’s engaged. I can’t stand that.
I keep thinking about rebelling, but then I figure if I topple the kingdom I’ll just have to deal with the messy aftermath, so I stay put.
My kindness, loyalty, and my squeaky‑clean integrity are literally holding me back here.
I’m not just sitting around dreaming of destroying the kingdom and founding a new one because that’d be a pain.
If I go to war with the kingdom, countless people will end up shedding blood, and I can’t stomach that.
Please don’t get that part wrong.
Anyway, enough day‑dreaming. Let’s get a grip on the situation.
“Both of you, stop fighting over me!”
Marie said the kind of line that sounds totally cliché.
In front of her, two guys faced each other, hands hovering over the pistols in their holsters.
They were dressed like Old West gunslingers, but they’re just local students at the academy where we’re doing this short‑term exchange.
“Paul, you were a good friend. But I’m not letting Marie go.”
“Nice to see we’re on the same page, Kevin. Still, I’m the one who’ll win. I’ll take Marie down after I beat you.”
They were about to have a quick‑draw duel with revolvers for Marie’s sake, and I was just watching, stunned.
Luxion, floating near my right shoulder, looked puzzled.
‘How did it come to this?’
“See, you don’t even understand the language, but Marie just went along for fun, and now we’re stuck.”
It’s Marie’s fault for blurting out “Yes!” without knowing what was being said.
The two guys in front of us just declared themselves Marie’s boyfriend.
I could’ve called her out on the misunderstanding, but this is a rotten otome game world—no one blames the girl.
The bad guys are the guys!
So, let’s duel!
—I wish I could have Luxion run a diagnostic on that thought process.
“Both of you, stop! It’s a misunderstanding! I—”
Paul flashed a smile at Marie.
Paul, with his distinctive sideburns, was a total hunk.
“Don’t cry, Marie—this is our problem.”
And Kevin, equally handsome, chimed in coolly.
“It’ll be over soon. Let’s hold our wedding right in front of Paul’s grave.”
I thought he was playing the cool‑type, but turns out he’s just a clueless fool.
“You want to get married at a graveyard? Won’t the priest be pissed?”
Seriously, burying a friend for Marie’s sake? That’s just wrong.
‘Master, aren’t you going to clear up the misunderstanding?’
“I think Marie’s at fault, though.”
Crying, Marie clung to me.
“An-giiii! It’s sooo unfair!”
Seeing Marie genuinely sobbing, I gave Luxion a hand sign.
I moved my first finger up and down, nodding. Luxion responded by deploying a shield—
—right between the two dueling guys.
“Poooooool!”
“Keviiiiinn!”
I tossed a coin, and the moment it hit the ground both men reached for their holsters and drew.
The gunshots overlapped, and the two froze, stunned.
One of them should’ve gone down.
But neither fell, and both were completely unharmed.
“D‑damn it!”
If Paul kept pulling the trigger, Kevin would dart to cover behind something.
When Paul ran out of ammo, he’d pop out and fire back—so the fight kept going.
Both of them seemed insanely good with guns, amazed that none of the shots landed.
There was an invisible wall—Luxion’s shield—between them, so bullets couldn’t reach either.
After they’d emptied all their ammo, they both collapsed onto their knees.
“What the heck…?”
Paul stared at his own hands. Stupid Kevin did the same.
Then they looked at each other, exchanged a tiny grin.
“What’s happening now?”
‘Next up, melee?’ Luxion guessed.
Contrary to Luxion’s prediction that they’d keep fighting, the two just laughed, hugged, and slung an arm over each other’s shoulders.
“It’s a draw. We’ve shot a bunch and missed every time. The goddess of victory must’ve gifted us a tie.”
“Paul, you don’t get it. Our goddess—”
“It’s Marie, right?”
The more ridiculous lines they spat, the more my head spun.
In a country where people say this kind of stuff daily, I’ve stopped caring.
Marie breathed a sigh of relief.
“Phew. I’m glad at least one of you didn’t die!”
She was glad no one died because of her, but the misunderstanding was still totally unresolved.
Both guys gave a thumbs‑up to Marie and said,
“Marie is the goddess of the two of us.”
“Yeah, the three of us—together forever.”
Wait, we’re exchange students, we’re supposed to go back home, right?
And Marie already has five—no, six—other guys? Add Kyle and it’s seven?
Anyway, calling her a “goddess of victory” is way over the top.
“Um, you know… I actually have boyfriends—”
Marie started making excuses, but Luxion’s gaze shifted elsewhere.
‘Next customer, Master.’
“Whoa, so many of them!”
Rifles, shotguns, bazookas—men armed to the teeth marched in.
Their target: Marie.
“Marie, we’re here to pick you up!”
“Those clueless jerks over there are about to get turned into a beehive!”
“You guys, Marie’s my girlfriend. Touch her and you’ll get blown away!”
—Looks like they were also under a huge misunderstanding.
Marie awkwardly turned her head, looked at me, forced a smile, and pouted.
“Bro—help me!”
I shook my head.
“I told you to think before you answer, didn’t I?”
“You never expect someone to confess out of the blue! To think they’d say yes right after meeting—could you even imagine that?!”
Marie’s gripe made sense.
But there’s not much I can do.
“Hang in there.”
I cheered, and Marie dropped to her knees, crying, hands on the ground.
“Help me, big brooo!”
◇
—Holfart Kingdom.
In the girls’ dorm of the academy, Ange and Libia had just printed out a letter from me, Leon, and were blushing furiously.
Their hands trembled as they held the paper.
“What the heck does this even mean?”
Ange was shaking because the letter was full of cheesy lines about me being her goddess, beloved, etc.
Libia’s ears were as red as her face.
“Leon‑san, what on earth happened to you?”
Seeing the two so happy, Claire‑re thought of a way to rack up points with Leon.
(Chance! I’ll use this to cover my mistake.)
Having turned Aaron into Aere‑chan, Claire‑re now had to make sure Leon recognized her contribution.
She knew she’d get scolded, so she needed a backup plan.
‘Surely Master’s grown too. Something must’ve happened at the study abroad, right?’
“—Grown? What…?”
Libia tilted her head at that and placed a hand near her mouth, murmuring.
“Did Leon‑san… go after another local woman again?”
Ange folded the letter neatly, her embarrassed smile turning into a straight face.
—Her eyes were scary.
“—I told you to speak up earlier, but I never expected you’d try to dodge it with words.”
‘Huh?’
Contrary to Claire‑re’s expectations, the two started drafting a protest email to Leon.
“Ange, let’s be firm about this.”
“Right. Claire‑re, send a reply right away.”
‘—Huh? How did it come to this?’
Claire‑re just kept making more mistakes the deeper she got into this mess.