"……Barbatos. I have always chosen you. I will continue to choose you."
"Kill Paimon. With your own hands."
Barbatos growled low, like a wolf.
I looked her straight in the eyes, seriously. This was not the time to argue with her. Barbatos was extremely agitated, and she was forcing me into a binary choice. For now, I needed to show a gesture of compliance……
"If you want, I'll kill Paimon anytime."
"Then there's no problem. Because that's the thing I desire most fiercely in this world."
"As for why she has to die right now—you're the one who needs to convince me."
Barbatos narrowed her eyes.
"Convince? You're telling me to convince you?"
"Paimon is the head of the Mountain Faction. Her support may have dipped somewhat, but she still commands respect. You can't just kill someone in that position, Barbatos. Not if you don't want the Demon Lord's forces to tear themselves apart."
This time, I brought my face closer to hers. We were now near enough that one more move would bring our lips together.
Once my eyes adjusted to the darkness, I could see Barbatos's face more clearly. Her cheeks were flushed red. She had been drinking before I arrived. The faint scent of herbal liquor drifted from the tip of her nose.
"From where I'm standing, it sounds like you're saying you won't do it."
"I told you. Explain why she has to die right now, at this very moment. It's barely been a year since the Demon Lord's forces were unified. We even built the outward shell of the Habsburg Empire to buy time until we'd stockpiled enough power. And now you want to throw that back in the dirt and trample on it?"
I curled the corner of my lips upward.
"That's your wish? What refined taste you have."
"Watch your mouth. Don't spout nonsense."
"I—I sacrificed every drop of my blood and sweat to build this empire!"
This time, I grabbed the hand Barbatos had wrapped around my collar with my right hand, gripping it tight. Barbatos, don't think you're the only person in this world who can threaten someone. We've been equals from the very beginning.
"Who was the first to succeed in the Crescent Alliance Army's expedition that had been throwing soldiers into the dirt for two thousand years? Me! Who stepped forward to execute Bael, who had deceived the Demon Lord's forces for three thousand years? Me again! Who established the framework of an empire so that our success wouldn't end as a fleeting miracle but would endure as permanent history? Me, Barbatos! There is not a drop of blood spilled on this earth that did not originate from my hands, and there is not a scream filling the sky that did not originate from my blade!"
I pried Barbatos's hand from my collar.
"The only reason the Plains Faction and the Mountain Faction still coexist—while you and Paimon are busy fighting your petty factional wars—is for one reason and one reason alone: I'm sleeping with both of you damned women at the same time!"
Smack. Barbatos slapped my cheek. My head turned, but I immediately snapped my gaze right back. Hit me all you want. Better yet, draw your sword and stab me through the heart. You still can't shut my mouth.
"Ah, yes. The empire is standing because I'm bedding the two of you. That's the truth. What's the matter—since when did you become afraid of looking the truth in the eye, Barbatos? In half a year, you've turned into quite the coward."
"You son of a bitch……!"
"And you're the one who fell for that son of a bitch precisely because he's a son of a bitch."
Barbatos slapped my cheek again, but nothing changed. Something inside my mouth had burst—I could taste the metallic tang of blood on my tongue. Good, actually. If the smell of blood seeped from my mouth, maybe Barbatos's head would cool down a little.
"You think I took Brother Beleth as my sworn brother for fun? You think I took Sitri as my lover because I had nothing better to do? You really believe the most ill-tempered man in the Plains Faction and the most hot-headed woman in the Mountain Faction just 'happened' to develop a deep relationship with me?"
Barbatos raised her hand again. But I had anticipated it. There's a saying about three strikes, but I had never lived as a fool who let the same thing happen to him three times. I had no intention of quietly taking it this time, either.
I caught Barbatos's wrist with my left hand. Now both of her hands were pinned. When she struggled, we both lost our balance. Still holding both her wrists, I brought her down to the floor.
"I am tearing apart my body and soul to hold these factions together!"
I straddled Barbatos and shouted.
"My friendship, my devotion, my love—I've poured out every genuine feeling I have! Ah, and thanks to that, I've become the lowest scoundrel in the world! It felt absolutely wonderful. But what does it matter? My petty emotions can be drowned in a single glass of wine—they're that trivial!"
Paimon, Barbatos, you—all of you are ruled by excessive emotion.
I know. Emotions can intensify. And because of that intensity, they feel genuine. But sincerity and truth are completely different things!
Just because you scream something from the bottom of your heart doesn't make it true! No matter how loudly you demand that I erase Paimon, that doesn't guarantee Paimon deserves to be erased! Why do you refuse to see even the simplest of facts?
What do human emotions matter so much!
Jealousy, resentment—are those feelings worth destroying the empire over? You want to tear apart the Demon Lord's forces that finally became one again—are you out of your mind, Barbatos?!
"And yet now you're telling me to destroy the empire with my own hands. Fine, Barbatos. I've always promised you that I would put you first, forever and always. If you truly wish it, I will gladly grant your desire. But listen—but……"
I clenched my teeth.
"Don't you think you at least need to convince me?"
What came from my mouth was closer to a moan than a voice. I was chewing my own words, grinding them into shreds.
"If you insist on trampling the empire I built, fine. If you want to turn all my blood and sweat into something worthless, fine. But don't you think, at the very least, you owe me an explanation, Barbatos……?"
That was when something trailed down from the corner of Barbatos's eye.
"It hurts, Dantalion."
"……."
"I know. Everything you did in Batavia—even getting assassinated—all to make the republican council succeed—that was all because of Paimon. And in the end, you nearly died because of Paimon."
Barbatos's face was twisted in pain.
This was the first time her face had been this wrecked since the day she had learned of Paimon's betrayal during the Crescent Alliance Army and had stormed out in fury, when the rain had poured down without end.
"The one who threatened your life on the day we first met was Paimon. The one who dragged you down to ruin in the Crescent Alliance Army was Paimon. And last winter, the same thing happened all over again……"
"Barbatos."
"I don't mind dying at Paimon's hands. Yes, I can accept that much. But you……Dantalion, if you were to die because of Paimon……I would truly curse everything."
"……."
"You can't. You mustn't, you bastard……"
Barbatos's golden eyes grew wet and unfocused. I couldn't say a word. Not a single thought came to mind.
"If you die, it will be because of Paimon. I don't want to see that bitch's face anymore……please, kill Paimon."
"I won't die."
"Don't lie to me!"
Barbatos screamed.
"If you had taken one step wrong, you would have died back then! Don't try to calm me down with lies!"
Cornered on all sides.
Barbatos didn't know that the assassination had been staged. I had kept it secret.
Even if I told her now that it had been a setup, Barbatos wouldn't accept it in the end. She would ask why I had staged it. And then I would have no choice but to say I had orchestrated the assassination for Paimon's sake.
Maybe telling Barbatos a lie would solve everything simply enough…….
But I couldn't do that.
I, truly, did not want to become a liar in Barbatos's eyes……Performing for Paimon was one thing. Deceiving Ivar was fine too. But Barbatos and Lapis—those two…….
Without those two, what could I have ever accomplished?
Deceiving the two of them was impossible for me. Simply, fundamentally impossible…….
"Paimon will destroy you, Dantalion! I know it. I know it……If you won't kill Paimon, then I'll kill that bitch myself!"
"Don't, Barbatos. Think about the empire……our new Demon Lord's forces."
I barely held back what surged up from my throat. But I couldn't stop the excess from spilling over.
"Our future……Bael is dead. Agares is dead too. Without the Mountain Faction's cooperation, conquering the continent is impossible. Think clearly……think rationally."
"What meaning does that future have without you in it?"
Barbatos said.
For some reason, her expression was blurry and hard to make out.
"You mean as much to me as the entire continent, Dantalion. It's a damn thing to say, but that's how it turned out. It just turned out this way whether I wanted it to or not. I……no matter how important the Hegemony is to me, you are just as important……I can't choose only one……"
"……."
"Even if we don't conquer the continent in a hundred years, that's fine. Even if it becomes an impossible dream in two hundred years, that's fine. Even if it takes a thousand years, two thousand years, three thousand years……no matter how long it takes, it doesn't matter—just please, stay by my side……don't leave me alone anymore……"
And then, Barbatos raised her head and pressed her lips to mine.
Something fell from beneath Barbatos's eyes. It had overflowed from my own eyes. It slid further down along her pale cheeks.
——Where had it gone wrong?
If the question itself was wrong, then perhaps I should rephrase it: if something had already gone wrong, where should I have started hiding it?
It wasn't clear who had pulled away first. Perhaps I had leaned back, or perhaps Barbatos had stopped. All I knew for certain was that I had risen from the floor without a word.
Both of our faces were ruined. I could feel that my expression had slipped beyond my control. There was no Court Count of the Habsburgs in this room, no regent of the empire. There were simply two people, faces wet with tears, facing each other.
"……."
I looked at Barbatos.
"……."
Barbatos shook her head.
I could hold back no longer and stormed out of the room. It was already terribly late, and the corridors of the imperial palace were empty. Only the sound of my footsteps followed half a beat behind my shadow.
Daisy was standing quietly in front of the door to my bedroom. Hearing my approaching steps, she bowed her head.
"Father, welcome—?"
Then she looked up at my face, and Daisy stopped mid-sentence. No—"trailed off" would better capture the mood. But I couldn't see her face clearly. In truth, there was no reason to look closely. I ignored Daisy, threw open the bedroom door, and walked straight inside.
I picked up the water pitcher in the room. Anything within reach would do. I hurled it straight to the floor.
The sound of shattering porcelain rang through the room.