My head was spinning from the memories that had all connected at once, and perhaps because I had been synchronized with
"What do you think you're doing?"
I wished he wouldn't say that with such a disgusted expression. After all, I was pretty sure that line was supposed to be mine. Didn't I have every right to ask who had been the one to embrace me the moment I woke up? I thought about it for a second, but if I brought that up, we'd end up in some pointless argument, and in my current state where my head barely worked, I didn't stand a chance.
"I think it's unfair that only Ferdinand-sama gets to hug to calm down, so I'm requesting a hug extension until I've calmed down as well."
"...An extension?"
"I synchronized with you and my memories all came flooding back at once, so my head is completely scrambled—emotionally and mentally."
By dropping the accusation and instead stating my demand, I managed to secure an extension of the hug from Ferdinand, who was wearing an extremely reluctant expression. It was only then that I finally had the presence of mind to look around and realized I was still in the Founder's Room, being held by Ferdinand, who was sitting with one knee raised. No wonder my body didn't feel cold.
"Heave-ho..."
I shifted my body slightly to make the hug more comfortable and wrapped my arms around Ferdinand's back. His familiar scent and the warmth of another person felt wonderful, but Ferdinand's heartbeat was very fast, and his breathing seemed shallow.
"...This ought to calm me down eventually."
"I am not calm in the slightest."
Sensing that I was about to be peeled off, accompanied by a sigh-laden voice, I quickly tightened the arms around his back and clung on.
"Your lack of calm must be because you haven't had enough hugs yet, Ferdinand-sama. By all means, go ahead and hug me as much as you like."
"That is not what I meant."
Despite speaking in that exhausted, exasperated tone, Ferdinand tightened one of the arms wrapped around my back and began idly playing with my hair with his other hand. He clearly hadn't had enough hugs, yet he still refused to be honest about it.
"Then what exactly was your reason for hugging me in the first place, Ferdinand-sama?"
"...That was... because you suddenly cut off the synchronization, and no matter how many times I called out to you, you simply would not wake up. That was your fault."
He said that in a voice that truly sounded displeased. Apparently, Ferdinand had been worried sick that I had been climbing stairs leading somewhere far, far above.
"...Was I really in that much danger?"
"I genuinely cannot understand how you can say such carefree things when you had been walking the line between life and death for days."
At the point when my Magic Power returned to normal thanks to the gods' power, I had effectively been dead. I needed to reduce my Magic Power, but since I couldn't use recovery potions, I was constantly at risk of my stamina or Magic Power running out first. On top of that, the moment I depleted my Magic Power, I had to dye my Magic Power as quickly as possible to recover, or else I would likely die from Magic Power depletion. These past few days, I could have died at any time, anywhere.
"I know that. I was afraid to sleep, and afraid for my Magic Power to recover. But I thought Ferdinand-sama would figure something out, so I wasn't all that pessimistic..."
I had been relatively optimistic, thinking that as long as my Magic Power was depleted, things would work out somehow. But it seemed Ferdinand, who had been left in charge of everything, had been through absolute hell.
"The moment your Magic Power was depleted, I administered the synchronization potion, gave you the drug to liquefy my Magic Power, and even used a Magical Tool to peer into your memories and pour Magic Power in while calling out to your consciousness—and yet, you barely responded. To make matters worse, your memories refused to return, and just when I thought we were finally making progress, a blessing of all attributes rained down and the synchronization cut off all at once."
Ferdinand had also brought his consciousness back to investigate what had happened, but since I had been the one to cut off the synchronization first, I had remained unresponsive with no sign of returning. Hearing about the blessing of all attributes, he had apparently fallen into a state of despair, fearing that something had reacted to the trace of divine power still lingering within me.
Hearing Ferdinand's side of the story, I realized it would be rather difficult to say, "When all the attributes' prayers triggered my memories to connect all at once, I opened my eyes to find you embracing me, so I thought Ferdinand-sama had broken."
"Thanks to you, Ferdinand-sama, my memories have returned. There's no need to worry anymore."
Even as I patted his back lightly while saying this, Ferdinand's heartbeat hadn't calmed down at all. The fingers that had been playing with my hair went still, and the arms holding me tightened even further. It had been pleasant before, but now it was starting to hurt. Worried that something was clearly wrong, I looked up at Ferdinand.
"Ferdinand-sama, is something wrong?"
"
His hoarse voice trailed off, and I couldn't hear the rest. When I asked, "What is it?", Ferdinand hesitated for a moment, his expression flickering with uncertainty, before loosening his arms and pulling back slightly.
"Do you want to return to being a Commoner?"
"Huh?"
I couldn't understand what Ferdinand was suddenly getting at. I blinked and tilted my head.
"Right now, with the gods' Magic Power depleted, it might be possible to make you return to being a Commoner, disguised as though you had ascended to a higher plane."
My heart skipped a beat. For me, in my current state where the memories of my Commoner days were vividly fresh after the synchronization, this was an incredibly tempting proposal, and I wanted to leap at it. But I knew all too well that returning to being a Commoner was impossible for me.
"Um, Ferdinand-sama. Could this perhaps be a death sentence? As in, I only have a tiny bit of time left before I die, and you're offering me at least the chance to spend it with my family...?"
"That is not the case. Through the synchronization, I came to understand that the most important people in your life are your Commoner family—
...Ferdinand-sama, are you serious?
My throat started to sting, and my heartbeat quickened. My breathing was growing shallow too.
"How exactly do you plan to make me a Commoner again? I'm already officially dead as Mine!? And what about the
"You would first become Aub Alexandria at the lord's conference, and I would become your official fiancé. I would arrange the formalities so that I could serve as Aub Alexandria externally, and then, citing the toll of recent events on your health, we would announce your death. That way, returning you to being a Commoner would proceed relatively smoothly. As for the Foundation and the Library City project, I can handle those myself."
Ferdinand said that if I returned to Alexandria as a Commoner alongside the Gutenbergs' relocation, those involved would mostly be people already in the know. Keeping them quiet wouldn't be particularly difficult, and they would likely cooperate.
"While it would be impossible in Ehrenfest, if I were to become Aub Alexandria, I might be able to protect your family."
Alongside the hope that I might be able to return to my family, what floated through my mind was the image of Ferdinand fighting alone as Aub to protect my family—never showing weakness to anyone, shouldering every burden by himself. I could immediately picture what would become of such a person.
My chest ached. I pressed my hand against it. I didn't know what, exactly, was causing the pain.
"Ferdinand-sama, there is no need for you to carry guilt or a sense of responsibility toward me. You've already more than paid me back."
"...Your happiness lies with that family of yours, does it not? It was just a thought that came to me during the synchronization, so there are many details that would need to be worked out, but I believe it is worth considering."
There was no way Ferdinand would suggest something that was completely impossible. The fact that he had been hesitant proved that it was difficult but not entirely unachievable.
In my head, the part of me that wanted to return to my family screamed, "If Ferdinand-sama says he can make it happen, then just go!" while the part of me that had lived as a Noble all this time shouted back, "You're going to make Ferdinand-sama shoulder everything?! I don't want to do something so irresponsible!" The two sides clashed inside me.
"Ferdinand-sama is right. I have always wanted to be with my family, and I still wish I could be with them. ...But just as much, I want Ferdinand-sama to be happy too. I have no intention of sacrificing Ferdinand-sama in order to return to being a Commoner."
When I stared firmly at Ferdinand, he erased his expression and shook his head slowly.
"If all your memories have returned, then your fear of magic stones may have returned as well. Without the ability to handle magic stones, it would be difficult to live as a Noble at all, let alone as an Aub. Most likely, with Magic Power nearly identical to yours, I would be the one performing the Aub's duties. All you could be is a figurehead Aub. Whether you were there or not would make no difference."
Most of what Ferdinand said was correct, but not all of it. Because the Goddess's Incarnation had taken on the role of Aub and cleansed
"No matter how useless a figurehead Aub I might be, the title of Goddess's Incarnation would still be necessary, wouldn't it? How much of a burden are you willing to take on just to return me to being a Commoner? Do you think me so foolish and irresponsible that I wouldn't even notice?"
"...I do not think you are foolish or irresponsible, but you belong with your family. Now is your only chance."
Even so, I had no intention of sacrificing Ferdinand. If Ferdinand were the kind of ambitious schemer who desperately craved the positions and power of Zent and Aub, who would not hesitate to take a third wife—let alone a first—to stabilize Alexandria, and who would even take on mistresses, then I would have returned to my family without a second thought.
"But I can't very well go back if you're the one worrying yourself sick about it, Ferdinand-sama! You're terrible at relying on others, you take on all the work yourself, and you'd be living a life overdosed on medicine—you'd die of overwork before you know it!"
"However, if you do not make the decision here and now to return to being a Commoner, your chance to spend your life with Lutz will vanish, and you will end up marrying me instead."
I deflated at Ferdinand's grimace as he said that. How had the conversation about returning to my family become a conversation about spending my life with Lutz?
...Wait. Something's off here.
"Um, Ferdinand-sama. When exactly did this turn into a marriage discussion? Even if I were to return to being a Commoner, there's no way I could marry Lutz. As a Noble, I might have some value as a marriage candidate thanks to my Magic Power and status, but from a Commoner's perspective, being in poor health and unable to bear children would immediately disqualify me."
Nobles and Commoners looked for completely different things in a wife. While I did want to return to my family, I had never once thought about wanting to marry Lutz. Lutz was someone precious to me who had kept me grounded here, but as a marriage partner, I thought someone else—a different girl—would be far more suitable. It would be a shame for him to be stuck with me.
For the record, given that I was terrible at socializing and embroidery, I probably didn't meet the standard for a Noble bride either. Unless it was a political marriage, there was no one who would pursue me—I was too much of an oddball.
"Also, what's this about me ending up married to you, Ferdinand-sama? If you don't want to, you simply don't have to marry me."
An Aub's marriage was decided by the Aub themselves, with the Zent's approval. There was no reason for Ferdinand to make such a pained face about marrying me.
"...You're right. If you don't want to, you don't have to."
Ferdinand lowered his gaze and slowly exhaled. Then he held up three fingers.
"Rozemyne, you currently have three options. The first is to return to being a Commoner and marry the one you desire. The second is to proceed with the current plan as-is and marry me. The third is to order Lady
...Huh?
My eyes went wide at the sudden ultimatum.
"Ferdinand-sama, I am terribly sorry, but I don't quite understand. The way you're phrasing it, it sounds as though you and I are already engaged. When exactly did I become engaged?"
"The moment you obtained the Ahrensbach Foundation."
"Huh?"
To my blank stare, Ferdinand explained the contents of the royal decree issued to
"Nobody said a single word about this..."
"There was no reason to bring it up in the middle of a battle, and by the time the fighting was over, it was better not to disturb your emotions carelessly under the influence of the Goddess's power, was it not?"
"Ah... So that's why the retainers' attitudes changed."
I had been puzzled by how my retainers, who had been berating me every time I got close, suddenly stopped saying anything. Now the mystery was solved. Ferdinand let out a soft sigh as he watched me clap my hands in realization.
"It was because you said in Ehrenfest that I would be an ideal partner for a political marriage. Your retainers began acting on that. Your own carelessness was the root cause of all of this."
"Wh-what!?"
I had no idea things had turned out that way.
"My carelessness nearly caused a terrible mess, didn't it? Ferdinand-sama, you feel a great sense of responsibility, but you really don't need to look after me to that extent. So, please, about revoking the royal decree..."
"Rozemyne, don't misunderstand. This was something I planned and wanted."
I stared at Ferdinand, unable to understand what he was saying. What plan could he possibly have had?
"I had been watching you for a long time—watching how you, whether Noble or Commoner, treasured the thin threads connecting you to others, and how your family reached out to take your hand in return. And you called me family. True to your word, even after leaving for Ahrensbach, you kept reaching out, never letting that bond break. You are the one who shaped my concept of family. The synchronization made you see it whether you wanted to or not, didn't it? Just how desperately I craved that kind of connection—the kind your family shared."
I nodded slowly. The memories Ferdinand had shown me had been brimming with longing and envy for family, followed by the regret and anguish of having been the one to tear mine apart.
"In Ehrenfest, I might never have noticed. As long as I could protect the thin bond between you and your family, I would have been satisfied. But once I left Ehrenfest, the voices of those around me began severing my connection to you. I didn't want to lose that bond. ...That is why, to claim you for myself, using the royal decree was the most efficient and realistic approach."
Ferdinand's hand gently brushed my cheek. A shiver ran down my spine.
"I removed Trauerqual, who issued the decree, from his position as Zent, so the person who issued the royal decree himself can no longer interfere with my plan. I also threatened the new Zent—telling him not to do anything unnecessary unless you, Rozemyne, gave him orders."
"Threaten him... Ferdinand-sama."
Ferdinand's fingertip, which had been stroking my cheek, pressed against my lips to silence me. There was barely any pressure—just the faintest touch. Still, my ability to argue back was completely blocked, and I found myself hesitating to even breathe.
"As the companion of the Goddess's Incarnation, I did everything in my power to ensure that no one around you could object. Because I didn't want to hand over the position of your true family to another man."
I swallowed hard. I could feel the heat in Ferdinand's eyes, and it frightened me. Even if directed at me like that, I couldn't return the same feeling. I grew restless, wanting to flee this place immediately. But the hand on my back wouldn't allow it.
"The only one who can dismantle my plan is you, Rozemyne—the one who bears the name of the new Zent. Will you show me a life where you return to being a Commoner and spend happy days with your family? Will you accept this engagement to me and make me your family? Or will you order the new Zent to revoke the royal decree? ...The choice is yours."
I couldn't tear my eyes away from Ferdinand's pale gold gaze as he intently watched for my reaction, and my breath caught. Being pressured like this into making a choice was agonizing. Even now, I simply couldn't understand romantic feelings. I knew Ferdinand desired me. But I couldn't reciprocate with the same depth of emotion.
"...What will you do, Rozemyne?"
After a long silence, Ferdinand lowered his gaze as he prompted me for an answer.
He let out a soft breath and raised his eyes. The next time our gazes met, what filled his pale gold eyes was resignation. The hand on my back was withdrawn, and the hand that had touched my lips pulled away. He was accustomed to having his own desires go unfulfilled. The eloquent movement of his hands and those eyes that had given up on everything made me shake my head before I could stop myself.
...No.
I didn't understand romantic feelings, but I couldn't accept just letting things end like this. I didn't want to watch Ferdinand—who so rarely voiced his own desires—resign himself. I reached out to him. I threw my arms around him of my own accord.
"Rozemyne, what are you..."
"I know this is coming out of nowhere, but I don't understand romantic feelings between men and women!"
"...I don't think this is something you should be saying while throwing yourself into a man's arms, but I know."
Ferdinand's voice was tinged with exasperation, and some of the tension left his body.
"My desire is to become your family, and I am not expecting you to reciprocate any romantic nuances at this point. As long as things stay as they have been—just as they were when we were like family—that is enough."
"...Is it really okay to stay exactly as we've been?"
"It is."
Ferdinand murmured that he simply couldn't bear the thought of losing the family-like status he had gained, only to watch another man receive the genuine affection of a true family. His hand touched the rainbow-colored magic stone hair ornament in my hair. Hearing him say he wasn't looking for romantic feelings, I felt the tension drain from my own body as well.
"I—my fear of magic stones is likely to return, so I intend to do my best, but I would be a burden both as an Aub and as a spouse. Is that still acceptable?"
"If you choose to return to being a Commoner, there won't even be a figurehead Aub, will there? You are the one who will miss this chance—after that, returning to being a Commoner will no longer be possible."
"I do want to go back to my family, but I don't think I'm capable of living as a Commoner. I couldn't even draw water, so I'd be quite the burden. ...If Ferdinand-sama could occasionally create opportunities for us to interact as family, that would be enough for me."
Ferdinand's arms wrapped around my back once more. He held me tightly.
"...Are you sure you want to choose me, Rozemyne?"
"I'm returning those exact words to you, Ferdinand-sama. Please don't have any regrets."
The shift in my feelings brought about by glimpsing his memories.
Ferdinand's desires and the choices he had offered.
It would have been easy to plan everything and close off every exit, ensuring I had no escape— But Ferdinand had wanted Rozemyne to choose for herself.
Next time: The dedication stone and the engagement magic stone.