The emotions I gained at that time—I still remember them vividly.
Swords cleaving through the air, blood scattering in every direction.
Familiar scenery consumed by flame, people I had known reduced to silent husks.
A world ending. A world that had been shut away. A world where nothing was ever rewarded.
A world that was nothing but harsh, nothing but cruel, nothing but pain.
Reaching out, moving my fingers, trembling lips—begging all the same.
Even if the world offered no salvation, it was all I had.
For so, so long, the only world I knew was the one glimpsed from behind the back that blocked my view.
When that wall was suddenly torn away and the brilliance of the expanded world made me squinch my eyes, I seared it all into my vision, into eyes that still hadn't fully opened—the scorching heat and color of the flames, the stench and hue of charred flesh, the beauty and color of the "horns" dancing through the air—every last thing— And in a world that might already be ending, what had I been thinking?
That emotion I had gained at that time—because I still remember it, every single day that followed was built solely from atonement for that emotion.
For a girl named
Among the demihuman races, the Oni clan's physical strength and mana were leagues above the rest.
Unmatched combat power, and the racial trait known as "King of the Forest" only amplified their advantage in the wilderness, granting them strength enough to be recognized as one of the most formidable forces among the demihumans.
Their physical resilience, the quality of mana they could wield—no other race was as dependable in battle.
If the Oni clan had any weakness as a species, it was their absolute scarcity in numbers.
A race specialized in producing powerful individuals failed to cultivate many successors, and despite their might, the Oni were condemned to a life of huddling together in small mountain settlements.
Most of them, despite their fearsome strength, had gentle dispositions, and few harbored resentment toward their way of life.
It was precisely because they lived in such remote lands that numerous strict codes of law came into existence.
Violating a code meant punishment, and in the worst case, exile. For a people who relied on one another due to their small numbers, exile meant a lifetime of solitude.
Therefore, codes had to be upheld, no matter what.
For the Oni clan, twins were "cursed children."
This, too, was one of the strict codes established among the few Oni who existed.
By nature, an Oni is born with two horns on their head.
Under normal circumstances, the horns remain hidden within the skull, but when a situation stirs the instincts of the Oni, the horns emerge and devour all surrounding mana.
They subdue the mana in the atmosphere and bend it to their will, vastly amplifying the Oni's combat strength. The horns are organs for this purpose and represent the very pride of the Oni as a race.
And twins, of all things, are born having to split those two horns between them.
Among the Oni, one who has lost their horns is called "Hornless" and is stripped of their standing in the race. Losing even a single horn invites that stigma. And yet, twins are born already incomplete, missing portions of their most vital horns from the very start. What could be more abhorrent?
Therefore, twins were considered cursed children, and it was customary for them to be disposed of immediately after birth.
Their fates, too, should have been sealed at that moment.
If the clan chief's hand—raised to carry out that grim execution—had not been stayed by the immense mana one half of the twin pair had erupted with at the last instant. If that innate talent had gone unrecognized.
The twins were named
Their life, to say the least, was far from smooth sailing.
Though their lives had been spared, the fact that they were twins could not be erased.
Already branded with the "Hornless" label from birth, they grew up being treated coldly by every member of the clan, including their own parents.
Their parents, despite sharing their blood, maintained an aloof and distant attitude. Fellow clanspeople made no effort to hide their disgust and contempt toward the cursed twins. For children who could not yet walk, who could not yet understand words or malice, it was, to put it mildly, the worst possible upbringing.
How long they endured that harsh environment, however, was limited to the period before they came of age—that is to say, until the elder twin established her sense of self.
The simplest way to describe Ram in her early childhood would be "prodigy."
She possessed a talent unmatched by any Oni in their long history. Even at a young age, the mana she wielded was extraordinary, and above all, the beauty of her horn captivated every Oni who laid eyes on it.
Never intoxicated by her own talent or power, she held herself straight and true, like the single pure-white horn on her forehead, and every member of the clan naturally bowed their heads before her.
To a girl not yet ten years old, it was treatment befitting an entirely different caliber of being.
Even her previously distant parents, even the clanspeople who had hidden no mockery, even the clan chief who had tried to slaughter them at birth—all were left speechless before her radiance.
Born among the Oni, a race chosen even among the great demihuman powers, and destined to stand at their very pinnacle.
Because the Oni revered the powerful, they never failed to show proper respect to those of extraordinary ability. It was precisely this quality of the Oni that made their devotion to Ram entirely free of ulterior motives.
Following that sister's glorious path on nothing but fumbling feet—that was Rem's daily life.
She had no remarkable talent. The mana she could wield was average. Her strength as an Oni, with only a single horn, was unremarkable. Unlike her sister, she didn't possess so much as a shred of confidence, and she shrank small behind her sister's back, behaving as a shadow so as never to catch anyone's eye, never to become the subject of discussion.
That was the social survival strategy of her young self, a defensive measure to protect an undeveloped heart.
It wasn't that she was jealous of her sister.
It wasn't that she hated her parents.
It wasn't that she resented her clanspeople.
Her sister, always walking ahead, was always gentle, and she would turn back many times to extend a hand to the slower-moving younger sister.
Her initially distant parents, too, came to know Ram's extraordinary gifts, and they began to shower Rem, the younger sister, with the same measure of affection.
Among the villagers, many cast looks of expectation and envy toward her as she struggled earnestly to keep up behind her brilliant sister.
The kindest sister of all. Parents who placed their expectations on her. Clanspeople who cheered her on to become great like her sister—all of it was an agonizing ordeal for Rem, as though her very flesh were being carved to ribbons.
The fact that she looked almost exactly like her sister must have contributed not a little.
Their height, their facial features—every aspect of their appearance was virtually identical, and yet the Oni qualities that dwelled within were vastly different.
Naturally, Rem tried to change that situation.
Though it amounted to nothing more than the shallow, clumsy trial-and-error of a young child, Rem tried every conceivable method to draw even one step closer to her sister, to beat her at even one thing.
But her sister surpassed her in everything.
There were domains she could never reach no matter what she did, and the fact that the person who was closest to her, whom she loved more than anyone, was the one she could never catch—Rem came to understand this before she had even left early childhood.
She could never stand alongside her sister.
Her sister, always standing in front, the first to be bathed in the light that illuminated the world. Rem's role was to peek out timidly from behind that sister's back, making herself small before that brilliant radiance.
If she could simply accept that and give up, she could bear every hardship, every suffering—accepting it the way a plant bends with the wind.
How many days did she spend bearing that resignation?
One night, Rem woke from the stifling heat.
Lying on her wooden bed, she peeled the quilt off her sweat-soaked body. Glancing around, she noticed that her sister, who should have been sleeping in the adjacent bed, was nowhere to be seen.
She immediately thought that she had to go find her sister.
If her sister was awake, she had to follow at her heels. Even if it was just a brief, trivial awakening for some minor need—this compulsive thought dominated Rem in those days.
Stepping outside the room—when that thought crossed her mind, she belatedly realized, just in time, the cause of the heat.
Their home, the home she had grown accustomed to, was engulfed in flames.
She recoiled from the scalding door knob and grasped the truth. Her dormant sense of smell jolted awake, and the acrid stench of burning reached her. An itchy sensation spread across her forehead as her horn forced its way to the surface.
Instantly, she strengthened her body, smashed through the door, and sprinted through the burning house. She didn't understand why. But driven by instinct, she ran outward—outward.
She shattered the weakened wall with a single kick and burst outside.
Even in this instant, what dominated her thoughts was a single, almost fanatical compulsion: "I need to get outside and follow my sister's instructions."
That thought was instantly overwritten by the scene that greeted her outside.
At the center of the settlement, a towering mound of blackened corpses.
Houses blazing, trees being burned away—familiar scenery transformed overnight into a red hell.
Among the twisted, burning bodies, she could see familiar faces. Rem immediately abandoned thought and collapsed to the ground.
Slowly closing in around her, figures cloaked in black robes. Their faces, hidden deep beneath hoods, were invisible until they drew near, and the ones she could see bore no features she recognized. Yet not a shred of friendliness emanated from them. And despite that, Rem wore a faint, ill-fitting smile.
It was the expression of a young girl that was far too composed, having bitten down on resignation time and again.
The figure showed no regard whatsoever for that heartbreaking expression.
Raising a hand, it brought the gleaming silver blade in its palm down toward the girl—only for the figure's head to be blown clean off an instant later.
Blood. Four lives extinguished simultaneously. The severed heads flew so cleanly that they didn't even realize they were dead—no scream could even rise.
Sensing the familiar wave of mana directly against her skin, Rem knew with certainty it was her sister's doing.
The moment she witnessed it, Rem stood up.
If her sister was somewhere nearby, she had to follow behind her.
She didn't even need to search. Her sister's figure was immediately found.
Wearing the same face as her own, now twisted in anguish, Ram ran to her younger sister and embraced her. Checking Rem's body for injuries and finding none, Ram's own body relaxed in relief.
Rem, holding her sister in return, tasted the deepest possible cocktail of happiness and sorrow.
She didn't remember much of what came after.
She assumed she had left everything to her sister.
That was best, and above all else, correct. Whatever her sister did was always the most worthy option among all possible choices.
And yet, when she came to her senses, they were surrounded.
Figures filled her field of vision completely. Staring dazedly at them, Rem still believed with all her heart that her sister would somehow handle it.
The back before her was desperately shouting something.
Tears streaming, body trembling, desperately pleading with someone.
When she was forced to the ground, Rem felt troubled. Looking down at her sister was something that had no place in the way she lived.
Behind her sister, smaller than her sister—that was her reason for existing.
Her sister screamed, rising and spreading both hands before her.
Mana erupted. Her sister's extraordinary power unfurled, and invisible blades that slashed through everything in sight ravaged the world.
But before they could strike, her sister turned back and embraced Rem—then impact.
And Rem saw it.
The steel that struck her sister's head sideways, sending that white radiance dancing across the red sky.
Round and round and round, the severed horn spun.
The horn snapped from its root, blood gushing forth, and a piercing scream from someone.
What she had thought upon seeing that, she could remember with perfect clarity even now.
While watching the beautiful white horn she had envied so long as it danced through the air—while listening to the scream of her beloved sister, who had taken a blow meant for her— —Ah, at last, it's broken.
That was what she had thought.
When Rem regained consciousness, her feet were not touching the ground.
A firm arm was wrapped around her midsection, and someone was carrying her. The rough, careless handling bore no trace of the gentleness one would expect from someone conscious of touching a woman.
That made sense—the owner of that arm was entirely focused on the desperate sprint, with no energy to spare for anything beyond that.
"—Barusu, that broken tree ahead, go right! You're too slow!"
"Quit being crazy—hahh, I'm running at full speed—tell me about it!"
A familiar voice and a voice that was becoming familiar were shouting at each other from close by.
Being jostled violently up and down, Rem shook her hazy consciousness back into focus. Then, her lips trembling, she spoke: "...Subaru... san. What are you—"
"—! You awake, Rem?!"
Mid-run, Subaru's face looked down at her with a cry of joy.
Looking up at him with vacant eyes, Rem couldn't help but feel her throat tighten at the state of him.
Was his forehead split? The dripping blood carved his face in a crimson line from top to bottom. Across his body, the wounds of the previous night still lingered as white scars, and layered on top of them were fresh wounds in various stages of bleeding. A body already battered beyond belief, pushed even further past its limits.
"...I'm glad, Rem. Honestly, you're such a handful."
Pink hair swaying, jogging alongside with the faintest hint of a smile—this was Ram.
She curved her lips just slightly, in a way only someone who knew her well would recognize as a smile, and gently stroked Rem's blue hair with an outstretched hand.
Immediately after— "Frua!"
The incantation for a wind blade rang out, and the gale it summoned cleaved through the forest—slicing apart the body of a mabeast in its path, converting the beast that had been lunging at them into chunks of meat.
The instant after, Ram stumbled as though struck by vertigo and lightly collided with Subaru's body.
"—That hurts!! Ram, hey...! Don't you know my right shoulder is dislocated—!"
"...Be quiet. If Ram hadn't pushed herself, the curse would have just piled on top. So indulge me a little and let me lean on you as a wall."
"Could you at least use the other shoulder... Ow, ow, ow, ow!!"
Screaming through half-tears from the sharp pain, Subaru.
Leaning her weight against his body, Ram bled from the spot where her horn had been lost.
Watching the two of them, Rem was struck by a sudden realization of the present situation.
Why she was here, why the two of them were carrying her—it was— "Why...?"
"Huh?"
"Why didn't you just leave me behind?"
Rocked by their running, the question slipped from her lips.
Looking down at her with a bewildered expression, Subaru heard Rem continue through trembling lips: "If my sister and Subaru san came here, it defeats the purpose. Rem should... Rem should have done this alone... It's enough for only Rem to get hurt..."
"Too late for that now—both Ram and I are wrecked! Honestly, we might be worse off than you!"
He said it without exaggeration; it was simply the truth. Ram, for her own reasons, did not participate in the exchange.
Feeling cast aside by her sister's attitude, Rem clung desperately to it and forced out broken words: "It's Rem's... it's Rem's fault. Rem hesitated last night... so Rem has to take responsibility... otherwise, Rem can't face my sister, can't face Subaru san—"
"I'm in the middle of something pretty intense here, could you maybe organize your thoughts!? If I lose focus, the memory of last night is gonna replay across my whole body and—"
"Subaru san, if it weren't for that, you wouldn't have been bitten at all—"
Though Subaru was in no position to absorb her words, her voice reached him clearly.
His expression stiffened as he looked at her, and Rem confessed her sin.
During the battle in the forest the previous night, Rem had released the "Oni" within her to face the horde of mabeasts. In that moment, her consciousness existed as a split between the half that had surrendered to Oni instincts and the half that retained her sense of self.
The injuries she sustained were terrible, but fully surrendering to instinct would have made disengagement difficult.
What she performed was a limited "demonification," chosen with that judgment in mind. And yet it exposed her immature combat skills, and worse, it forced her to choose an option that put Subaru—the very person she was supposed to protect—in danger.
But what Rem truly needed to atone for was not creating that situation.
The moment Subaru had shielded her and been gnawed to pieces by the mabeasts' fangs—in truth, Rem should have been able to protect him.
Even if he had been knocked aside, the gap between a demonified Rem's physical strength and Subaru's was so vast as to be incomparable. The impact that had merely nudged him hadn't even moved him beyond the reach of her extended arm.
And yet Rem had hesitated to reach out, and Subaru had nearly died.
It was all because of the thick, overwhelming stench of that day—the day everything had burned—clinging to his body.
"Rem hesitated to reach out her hand to Subaru san, and because of that, Subaru san nearly died. And he took on far too many curses. So—"
"And you were planning to settle that guilt on your own, all by yourself, huh?"
Through his ragged breathing, Subaru nodded in understanding.
As if affirming his acceptance, Rem too lowered her chin, staring at her own sin.
She had steeled herself to be reviled, to be despised—words that should have been hurled at her before they ever entered the forest, words that should have come from his mouth.
Had she put it off because she wanted to save him as quickly as possible? Or because she lacked the courage to face her own weakness? —It was probably the latter, she thought with self-mockery, chastising her own weak heart.
"Rem."
"Yes."
Hearing her name called, she braced herself and looked up.
Whatever harsh words he threw at her, she had to accept them.
That was the sin she had committed, and the punishment she deserved.
To her, he said: "You idiot."
"—!?"
A hard crack of bone against bone, and sparks scattered across Rem's field of vision.
The sharp pain made her vision flicker for an instant, and Rem pressed her forehead in confusion, not understanding what had happened. Without demonification, her current body was not much stronger than a human's.
The struck forehead was slightly swollen, and from the outside it would certainly have appeared red.
Looking down at Rem, who was rolling her eyes in bewilderment at this inexplicable situation: "First of all, are you stupid? Yeah, you're stupid."
"Barusu. Her split forehead is split again and bleeding."
"I'm stupid too, I know that! But your little sister here is even stupider!"
After snapping that at Ram, Subaru shook his bloodied head. Seeing that, Rem realized that Subaru had just headbutted her.
She didn't understand.
"There are several stupid things about you, but there are three that really stand out. Got it?"
"What are you... talking about—"
"First stupid thing! Saying you couldn't save me!"
Spittle flying, Subaru cut her off. He lifted Rem up and thrust their faces together, his black eyes open wide at a distance close enough for her to feel his breath: "Open those eyes and look. Do you see how alive and well I am? Sure, there are some white scars left on my body here and there, but wounds are a man's badges of honor, so no problem! Which means your guilt was wrong from the start, you idiot!"
"But, that's— Rem hesitated, and if she had reached out right away, you wouldn't have had to suffer those injuries—"
"No, no, no! Don't talk in 'if onlys'! And the second stupid thing! Trying to handle everything on your own!"
Forced into silence, Rem could only endure Subaru's dressing-down.
She looked to her sister for help, but Ram showed no intention of intervening and simply watched.
Subaru turned his face toward where Rem was looking, stuck out his tongue, and said: "Listen, back in my hometown there's a saying: 'Three women together make a scheme.' That's not really relevant, but there's also 'Three heads are better than one'—or something about Manjusri's wisdom."
While speaking, he muttered to himself, "Wait, who's Manjusri...?" then shrugged and gave up with a breezy "Ah, whatever!"
"The point is, three people thinking together are less likely to break than one trying to do it alone."
"That's probably not how the original saying goes, but..."
"A-ny-way! Don't try to figure things out on your own—lean on the people around you! It's not like you can't talk. It's not like you can't squeeze someone's heart—"
He stopped mid-sentence, and his expression suddenly turned pained.
Leaning forward naturally, struggling to catch his breath, Subaru said: "Was that just now enough to...? Isn't that a harsh standard?"
"What are you talking abou—no, Subaru san. Suddenly, the
Pinching her nose, Rem twisted at the ghastly sensation her sense of smell had picked up.
Right nearby, right beside her—the noxious stench, the lingering traces of the very thing that had made her hesitate to reach out—hung thick and heavy.
Why, of all times, had it surged now— "Well, let's put that aside. I'm switching gears too."
But Rem's question was dismissed by Subaru's breezy tone.
Dumbfounded, Rem stared at him with her mouth hanging open. His profile betrayed nothing beyond the words themselves, and she understood that he had genuinely pushed the problem aside.
"As for the third stupid thing... damn, no time."
Running, Subaru looked ahead, his eyes narrowing in sharp tension.
At the same time, Ram jogged alongside, pressing a hand to her aching head as she began to deploy her mana: "Ram, which way to the village...no, in that case, the barrier. Which direction do we run to break through?"
"If we get past the pack ahead, then it's a straight shot running full speed to the left. What are you planning?"
To Ram's question, Subaru let out a long "Hmmm," and then said: "What about a scenario where I shove Rem off to Ram, and then I flee alone beyond the barrier with ruthless abandon?"
"You're saying you'll draw the mabeasts' attention with the Witch's scent, so we can escape with Rem in the meantime. Understood."
"Stop exposing my tsundere side so casually!?"
Without slowing their pace, Subaru and Ram exchanged that dialogue.
Listening to their conversation, Rem said, "That's...!" in despair.
"There's no way that saves everyone. ...Please, stop. If that's how it is, then what was the point of—"
"One more addition to the stupid list, Rem-rin. This is the best plan to get everyone out alive, you know? Once we get past the barrier and somehow regroup, I've got a brilliant idea to hunt down every last mabeast using a method Rem-rin doesn't know about. We close the show with that approach—easy win, right?"
She had no idea what brilliant idea Subaru claimed to have. Frankly, she even doubted it truly existed—that it was nothing more than a last-ditch improvisation.
Because before any of that, the notion that Subaru could break through the encirclement on his own seemed, to Rem, an utterly impossible feat.
"You don't need to do that... Rem will scatter the mabeasts—"
Not wanting to let him do something so reckless, Rem tensed every part of her body.
But her drooping limbs refused to obey her will in the slightest. Her fighting spirit didn't carry over, and there wasn't a single part of her body willing to listen to her.
Her fingertips trembled. She could barely move the muscles in her face. The familiar weapon she'd always relied on was nowhere to be found in her grasp.
"Rem's weapon is..."
"I dropped that heavy thing back there! Even if you asked a dislocated-shoulder student like me to carry you and that thing together, it'd be impossible, seriously!"
And now that she had no weapon either, Rem finally knew despair.
Powerless, Rem's body was slowly passed toward her sister.
"Don't drop her."
"I still have more strength than a one-armed Barusu, I'd hope."
"Then why was I the one carrying Rem!?"
"Because Barusu insisted on carrying her, and wouldn't listen."
"That's... actually a fair point!"
Covering his face with his palm, Subaru tried to pretend he had never spoken.
Looking up at him, Rem stared as though she couldn't believe what she was seeing. Even though she had said she despised him this much—why was he going to such lengths— "Subaru san, why do you go this far..."
"—Yeah."
At her question, Subaru closed his eyes for just an instant, then raised one finger and grinned: "She's my first ever date partner. I can't be so heartless as to abandon her."
With that, the hand that had held up one finger now gently stroked Rem's hair.
"Anyway, I'm heading out. —I'm counting on you, big sis."
"Ram will be praying for your safe return too."
Leaving those brief words behind, Subaru and Ram's running directions rapidly diverged.
Ram went right, Subaru went left. The horde that had been ahead of them hesitated for a split second over which fleeing prey to pursue—then immediately chased after Subaru to the left.
"Sister!"
"Barusu bought us this time with his life on the line. Let's use it well."
For her sister, who had lost the power of the Oni, the physical strength to support Rem's body could only be the baseline power her body naturally possessed. Therefore, her running speed was far from fast.
Feeling that, Rem bit down on her lip at her own inadequacy.
If she could just demonify, she could protect Subaru, she could carry her sister and run in her place—she could do it all. Easily.
But at the crucial moment, the "Oni" inside her refused to show itself.
Ram's priority in this situation was clearly "Rem over Subaru." So when Subaru had offered himself as bait, she could judge with certainty that it marginally improved their survival odds—and she could make that decision without hesitation.
Respecting her sister's resolve even as she did, Rem couldn't stop herself from pleading through tears.
Why won't you fight back more fiercely?
Why won't you show me something amazing?
With that same sense of injustice, placing the full trust of her childhood upon her— "Subaru san... Subaru san...!"
"Don't look back, Rem. It'll hurt."
Her sister's words. Her sister, who was always right.
Following them would surely protect her heart. Because her sister was always right.
—Then what was the point of being right?
"Big sis!!"
"—!!"
The scream torn from her very heart sent a tremor through Ram's expression.
Ram's lips pressed together, her eyes wide, her feet freezing in place. Rem twisted free from her sister's arms, hit the ground rolling, and looked behind her.
In the distance—far too slow to call it running.
Black hair, battered clothing, a limp right arm swinging without strength, and on his face an expression that compressed every emotion into a single clenched grimace.
Blocking his path, a massive body forming a wall—Ulgarm.
The largest among its kind, possibly the leader of the horde.
Facing that head-on, surrounded by countless mabeasts behind and to either side, Subaru charged forward relentlessly.
Her hand could never reach him. Even if she stretched out her fingers, even if she shook with all her heart—it would never reach.
Still, Rem screamed as though to will it to reach.
The fingertips that hadn't reached that night. The feelings that hadn't reached that night. She wished and wished that this time, they would.
"Subaru san!!"
She didn't know whether that voice reached him.
But as if answering her call—all she could barely make out was Subaru drawing a dimly gleaming sword with his left hand while still running.
The mabeasts' battle cries shook the forest.
And over them, Subaru's own roar erupted from his throat.