He shouldn't have asked.
Sweat trickled from his forehead down to his chin, and Subaru was reminded once again—how many times did that make now?—of his own idiocy.
The ringing in his skull felt distant, somewhere far off, while his pounding heart sent sharp pain radiating through his chest.
"You're regretting what you heard, are ya~?"
Roswaal glanced at the silent Subaru and tilted his head from his position on the bed.
Subaru couldn't immediately answer the clown's question as he toyed with his indigo-colored hair with his fingertips. All he could do was steady his breathing and calm himself before— "I'm just... a little surprised, that's all. I mean, what the hell—turns out
"Oh my, you didn't know? As a half-elf, Lady Emilia is a member of a long-lived race—perhaps not quite to the same degree as full elves, but still. Full elves, now, they say they'll never die unless someone kills them~a."
Roswaal rode along with Subaru's attempt to brush off what he was really feeling.
The characteristics of the elf race he described didn't deviate much from the standard elf lore you'd find in pop culture. How much of that applied to half-elves was unclear, but if Subaru was to believe his words, then Emilia's real age— "At least a sixty-year gap... Even for a guy like me who's into the onee-san type, having this much of an age difference with a romance target is way beyond my experience points."
"That's a bit vague... but judging by the tone, it sounds like you've had experience with other long-lived races besides Lady Emilia~a?"
"Well, immortals and vampires are basically standard archetypes in dating sims. There's even the loli-babaa category like Ryuzu-san. It's a deep and complex world."
That said, the non-human or loli-babaa attributes weren't really Subaru's thing. Subaru's strike zone was more along the lines of an admired older sister or a school upperclassman.
Still, hearing about a sixty-year gap did give him pause.
"But honestly, if she's that cute, anything's forgivable. No problems here. Emilia-tan being my number one star doesn't change one bit."
Then again—as was common with this kind of setup—a long-lived race's extended lifespan meant slower growth, and they might be experiencing time at a different rate from human maturation.
Just like the age difference between animals and humans, where a human's twenty years might correspond to two hundred for an elf— "If I think about it that way, ninety-year-old Emilia-tan is still just a young pup, a little girl... no wait, from the elf perspective, she might qualify as a loli. Come on—to be that beautiful and sexy-cute and yet technically a loli... that's basically its own genre at this point."
"You're really running away with those fantasies, aren't ya~? But reality is much, much harsher than you think. People grow with the time they've lived. Even for the elf race, it's not as if mental growth just stagnates forever, you know~a?"
"You say that, but I've been working really hard to maintain the position that Emilia-tan has genuinely been treating me as a child this whole time..."
Even knowing it was nothing but wishful thinking, having it shot down so casually didn't sit well. And as Subaru cast a resentful glance his way, Roswaal continued with "And also—"
"I find it a bit disagreeable that you'd try to run away from your true feelings and sweep it all under the rug, don't you~a? Right, Subaru-kun?"
"————"
"Are you regretting that you shouldn't have heard it from my mouth~a?"
"...You really are the worst."
Roswaal dug up the emotions Subaru had been trying to gloss over, absorb, and swallow whole. Subaru hurled a powerless retort at him, then cursed himself once more.
The cross that Emilia had shouldered on her delicate frame—he'd gone and heard about it from someone else's mouth instead of hers. That was the height of dishonesty.
"...The 'Trial' showed me the past. It's probably showing it to Emilia too. If that's the case, then the past that girl is looking at..."
"If it's forcing her to face the past she wants to turn away from the most... then without question, Lady Emilia is seeing the day the Elior Great Forest was frozen~a."
Roswaal confirmed Subaru's worry.
And having that thought reinforced, Subaru realized with full force just how much of a terrible thing he'd been trying to force Emilia into.
What was this nonsense about "settling the past," "overcoming it," and "gaining something"—?
"So how am I supposed to face a past where I turned a bunch of people into ice pops...?"
The scale of the guilt left behind in the past was entirely different between Emilia and Subaru.
Of course, for Subaru, his feelings toward his father and mother were unquestionably a massive issue that needed to be resolved even across the boundaries between worlds. He wouldn't allow anyone to belittle that, nor would he accept being belittled for it.
But on the other hand, what about Emilia's burden?
Subaru had been loved by his parents, pushed forward, and forgiven. But when Emilia faced her past—would that past affirm her and forgive her for her mistakes?
And having accepted that, would she be able to say farewell to it?
"Is it really true that Emilia froze the forest... that elf settlement? I heard almost no one has set foot in there. Maybe it's some kind of mistake..."
"It's true that the facts are unclear~a. However, I was told the full account directly by Lady Emilia herself. She confessed that she was the one who froze the forest. What room is there to interject any other words?"
"So if the actual truth isn't known, maybe it's all a misunderstanding or something... Besides, Emilia isn't the kind of person who could do something like—"
"No, no, you still don't get it~a, that won't do~a, Subaru-kun."
Roswaal cut Subaru off with a triple elongation of his sentence endings. Subaru's expression turned sharp and hostile at being interrupted, but Roswaal merely waved his hand with an innocent expression.
"What actually happened is, at this point, not the issue~a. The problem is that Lady Emilia has convinced herself that 'she was the one who froze the forest'—that's what matters."
"————"
"In Lady Emilia's mind, that is a fact. And the past built on that fact is now bearing down on her at the Tomb. So~a, what do you think should be done?"
"What... what are you scheming?"
Roswaal's question came almost cheerfully. Subaru couldn't fathom what he was really thinking and let that slip out almost involuntarily.
Why—why on earth could this man still smile at a time like this?
"I'm not talking about sympathizing with Emilia's past or trying to empathize or whatever... You know the weight of what she carries, you know it's painful, you know the Trial might be something she can't overcome—so how the hell can you look so amused putting her through it?"
"Hmm~m."
"It doesn't make sense! You... don't you want Emilia to be king? Aren't you supposed to be helping that girl become queen? I know what you're after. If Emilia overcomes the Trial and frees the
But— "While you're trying to make that happen, you're also pushing Emilia away at the critical moment. This gamble hinges on freeing the Sanctuary—so when that's on the verge of falling apart, how can you stay so damn composed!?"
"............"
"Emilia says she has to become king. I want to make that happen too. ...Do you even really want to make that girl a queen?"
"——Of course I do."
Subaru had raised his voice, shaken his shoulders, and unleashed his emotions at the silent Roswaal. But Roswaal's answer to that final question felt like a splash of ice water on Subaru's flushed face.
There, in front of him, stood Roswaal in the same position as always—his gaze boring straight into Subaru. And he said— "Do I want to make her queen? Absolutely, without question. —There is no one in this world who desires it more than I do. Not Lady Emilia herself, and certainly not someone of your caliber. I have my reasons for wanting it more than you could ever understand."
"Roz-waal?"
"The idea that you'd question whether I have the resolve—now that's a good laugh. Truly. —Are you really still not even at that level?"
His tone carried a quiet fury—the first time Subaru had ever heard Roswaal speak with such passion.
Yet even that passion had cooled to a simmer by the time he reached his final murmur. And with that enigmatic closing remark— "Subaru-kun. I'm sorry, but that's enough for tonight~a. I'm still recovering from being ill myself, you know~a. I'd like to rest a bit~a."
"W—no, it's fine."
Subaru reached out as if to stop Roswaal from ending the conversation, but he caught himself, recognizing the futility of trying.
Roswaal's flippant tone in announcing the end of the discussion was an unmistakable refusal to go any deeper. And if he was truly rejecting everything in earnest, then Subaru—who couldn't even keep pace with a man lying in bed—had no means of prying it out of him.
Shaking his head, Subaru turned away from the bed, feeling the lingering pull of unfinished business.
He had conveyed what needed to be conveyed. What would become of the people of Arlam Village was still uncertain, but Ryuzu would probably accept Roswaal's proposal.
If she could overcome that, it wouldn't be stagnation but genuine progress. It was only one of many things Subaru needed to accomplish.
"——Subaru-kun."
Just as he was about to leave the room, Roswaal called out to him from behind. Subaru stopped and turned back to see Roswaal already resting his head on the pillow, not even looking his way.
"You've obtained the资格, haven't you~a?"
"Ah—oh, I hadn't told you? That's right. I can take the Trial now too. If the condition is receiving that baptism once, then maybe even you could—"
"No~o, I don't think so. The Tomb almost certainly wouldn't accept me~a. Having the wound of rejection carved into me like this—I know that for certain now."
Subaru remembered the exchange from the previous world and had consciously avoided bringing up the matter of the "qualification." In that world, Roswaal had been in a terrible mood upon learning that Subaru had obtained the right to face the Trial.
But the man before him now was surrounded by something that could only be described as a deep, unmistakable loneliness.
"...Make the best choice, Subaru-kun."
"What?"
"In this place, you are the most free to act. You are not bound to the Sanctuary. Nor are you entangled in the selection of a king."
"————"
"Your wish—pursue it with your own hands, through your own struggle and suffering. Worry, agonize, lose your way, and if through all that you grasp it... even if you can't find satisfaction, even if you can't accept it, you'll at least reach an ending."
These words from Roswaal—who refused to show his face. They were uncharacteristic, stripped of the usual clownish verbal tics. Subaru stood there dumbfounded, rooted to the spot like an idiot.
And then, after a long moment, he realized with a start that he'd just been encouraged.
"That's... so not like you at all. What's going on, Ros-chi?"
"Maybe I just wanted to do something uncharacteristic—would that be so strange~a? —It seems like I'm going to be too late, after all~a."
Subaru couldn't grasp the meaning behind those words heavy with resignation. But before he could press further, Roswaal's hand rose from the bed, waving Subaru toward the door.
Seeing that gesture, and Roswaal who had turned his attention away from him entirely, Subaru let out a long breath through his nose.
"Good night."
He said that much and left the room.
※※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ "I trust you didn't cause Lady Roswaal any trouble?"
The first thing
The pink-haired girl should have stood half a head shorter than Subaru, but the intimidation she radiated whenever it concerned Roswaal made her seem twice her actual size. In short, he'd been crushed under pressure that was simply too immense.
"We had a perfectly calm conversation. It's not like we grabbed each other by the collar and started wrestling, so there's nothing to worry about."
"How optimistic. You have no idea what state Lady Roswaal was in after stepping into the Tomb and being rejected... That's why you can talk so casually."
Ram clicked her tongue at Subaru's response, making no effort to hide her displeasure. Subaru gave a wry smile at her unwavering priorities.
"She told me to go to sleep, so I got kicked out. ...But we managed to have the conversation we needed to have, so I think that part's fine."
"I see. ...At the very least, if it comes from Lady Roswaal's mouth, I believe Ryuzu-san will accept the proposal. As for Garf... I'm not sure how he'll react yet."
"If that guy's still going to push back, can I ask you to use your womanly wiles on him? Bake one of your cookies and ask all cute and sweet-like... Wait, can you even do that?"
"As in, Ram isn't cute?"
"No, I mean visually you're insanely cute, obviously..."
After all, apart from the hair color, she was the spitting image of
"And yet Garfiel still picks you—gotta respect his terrible taste. Actually no, you can't really tell just by looking... You're like a pufferfish, y'know, pain pain pain!"
Ram's heel dug hard into the top of his foot, and Subaru's eyes went watery. She snorted, then stood before the bedroom where Roswaal slept.
"Ram will change Lady Roswaal's bandages and then get some rest. Subaru will sleep in the same cathedral as last night. Even you should be able to remember where it is?"
"My sense of direction is actually pretty decent, thank you very much. Plus it's the biggest building in this place. No way I'd miss it. The lack of light is a pain though."
The Sanctuary ran on analog power—starlight was all they had to go by. Even so, on a clear night, the light pouring down from a sky full of stars kept things from feeling as dark as you'd expect. Tonight, unfortunately, was overcast.
He peeked outside from the building and saw almost nothing but darkness, with only a faint handful of household lights dotted here and there.
He wasn't without a twinge of anxiety about the walk back.
"I'm not gonna wander into the forest and accidentally run into some beast and get a BAD END or anything. No worries, no worries."
"If you keep saying things like that, you'll raise the probability of it actually happening, but fine. Subaru, the cathedral is straight ahead, then right."
"Yah, I know. The hand you hold chopsticks with, right? That cultural reference doesn't exactly exist in this world, though."
Meals here were exclusively the knife-and-fork-and-spoon silverware culture, so Ram apparently couldn't parse what Subaru had just said. He made a mental note to try mass-producing chopsticks by whittling some out of wood someday, if the chance arose.
"So I'll head back to the cathedral for now... It's not even certain we can return to the village yet, so I probably shouldn't bring up the liberation thing and get people's hopes up for nothing, right?"
"I think that's the prudent choice. Let the matter settle by tomorrow... at the earliest, it'll be the day after. In the meantime, you should think about how you're going to face
"————"
Those were the last words exchanged before leaving the building. Subaru had been about to walk away when he suddenly froze. Ram looked at him quizzically, but her expression deepened into confusion when he turned around.
"...What did you just say?"
His hoarse voice cut through the air. Hearing what had come out of his own mouth, Ram furrowed her brow and retraced her thoughts.
"I said, think about how you're going to face the Tomb."
"No. Just before that."
"That Ram isn't cute?"
"Okay, we've officially gone full circle! ...Echidna's Tomb. That's what you said, right?"
He got the feeling there would have been two or more additional bits of comic relief on the way to the correct answer, so he decided to cut straight to it himself. Ram gave a reluctant nod as Subaru pressed his palm to his forehead—his consciousness battered by the memory that was flooding back at an staggering pace.
Echidna.
The name of the
She was also the being who had tampered with Subaru's memories—ostensibly as insurance against him sharing what he knew.
At the end of the tea party, and at the parting after the Trial, she had imposed a vow upon him. If the price for that was the qualification to face the Trial, then Subaru was prepared to accept.
"Whether it was incomplete or just sloppy... either way, the restriction's been lifted!"
The constraint Echidna had placed on Subaru had come undone, and his memories were unlocked.
Images flooded his mind—meeting the Witches at the tea party, facing Echidna in her school uniform inside the school building of his original world. All of it came rushing back in a jumble. And from that torrent of recollection, a single possibility struck him for breaking through this impasse. It was practically a forbidden move— "If the cathedral is the hand that holds chopsticks, then the Tomb is the hand that holds the bowl!"
"Subaru—?"
"I'm pulling an all-nighter! You—don't go tiring yourself out with a sick person who's still recovering!"
He raised a hand behind him in response to Ram's call, and Subaru burst out of the building into the night. His destination was not the cathedral where his bed lay, but the direction of the Tomb—the place he had left barely two hours ago.
Time-wise, the chances of his idea being validated if he went now were slim. Slim, but he couldn't just sit still. At the very least, he wanted confirmation—even if it was confirmation that tonight was a dead end.
"After facing that first Trial, all kinds of questions came flooding back. I'm getting myself invited to that tea party again, Witch... no—Echidna!"
He dashed through the streets, navigating the Sanctuary by the meager natural light alone.
Cold wind, damp earth, sweat on his brow, ragged breathing—he felt it all as he drove his fatigued body forward, step after step, until he finally reached his destination.
"Well, well... I figured you'd come running back here, y'know?"
There, blocking Subaru's path, stood the golden-haired young man—Garfiel, standing guard before the Tomb.
※※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ "Rushing over at this hour—I'll give you that one. Being born a man means you've got a duty to get stronger. 'Winbrook breeds warriors,' as they say."
Garfiel stood in the middle of the nighttime path with both arms spread wide, baring his fangs in a fearsome display as he kept Subaru at bay. Subaru felt the hair on his skin stand on end at the gesture, but— "Uh, sorry, but I'm not out for a jog or anything. I'm not planning to stand here and shoot the breeze with you either. It's not like I'm on a time limit, but, y'know—seize the day and all that..."
"You don't get it, do you, boy."
A sharp sound—the explosive crack of Garfiel stomping the ground at a speed invisible to the naked eye.
Dirt scattered, and the hard earth was gouged into the shape of a boot sole. Subaru's eyes went wide at the sight, and Garfiel ground his teeth together with a snarl.
"If you're saying you're gonna turn back now, I'm saying it's a little late for a midnight run, got it?"
"Getting told I don't get it by two guys in a row in such a short span... Just how far behind the conversation am I?"
"That's a good question~a. But at the very least, I'm pretty sure you're blind to what's going on around you and with yourself."
Subaru tried to use humor to loosen the atmosphere, but Garfiel's eyes burned with hostility—his good intentions clearly weren't getting through.
Garfiel touched the white scar on his own forehead.
"There's nothing past this point but the Tomb. You're not telling me you came all this way to take a leak on some old grave, are ya?"
"If you want, I'll take you along for a buddy tinkle? Taking a whiz on the Witch's grave—I can already imagine how that revenge would play out just thinking about it."
At least, if it was the Echidna Subaru knew, she'd probably find it more amusing than angering. Anyway, Garfiel seemed intent on maintaining his vigilance against Subaru without letting the conversation drift any further.
"Don't tell me you're trying to take on another Trial on the same night you just cleared the first one. That's some real stubborn stuff right there~a."
"I'm not thinking anything that extreme. I've just got a different approach in mind."
"A scheme, huh?"
"A scheme, yeah."
A shortcut, a forbidden trick, a mysterious data disk—whatever you want to call it. It didn't matter what you labeled it.
If there was even a chance to illuminate this pitch-black path he could only navigate by groping in the dark, he would cling to it, suck the marrow clean, extract the broth, and swallow it whole.
"So move, Garfiel. Let me into the Tomb. Maybe some brilliant idea will come to me that can fix everything..."
"Sorry, but absolutely no way. You are not getting into that Tomb. Absolutely not, I don't care how many times you ask."
But before Subaru's resolve, Garfiel's will proved equally unbreakable.
Subaru felt exasperation give way to genuine anger at the young man's stubborn refusal.
Why—why of all people was it this man standing in Subaru's way?
"You felt the same way too, didn't you? That's why you gave me that push back then. Even after that—"
"Don't go saying stuff you don't understand. I, Garfiel, never go back on a decision I've made. You're not getting through. I won't let you get involved with the Sanctuary."
"You're really going to go that far... Just what the hell is it about me that pisses you off so much?!"
Garfiel's attitude was clearly different from the first day, and from the last loop. Subaru raised his voice, demanding the reason behind this incomprehensible shift.
At those words, Garfiel wrinkled his nose, his face twisting into something truly bestial, and said: "——You stink."
"Huh?"
Subaru couldn't help but let a groan slip out in response.
And Garfiel pointed at his own nose, then spoke clearly— "Ever since you came out of that Tomb, the stench of the Witch's miasma has been reeking off your body. —You expect me to trust a Witch-stinking human half-breed? There's no way in hell I'm doing that!"
Garfiel threw his hands up, bared his fangs, and roared with unbridled fury: "This is the Sanctuary! The Witch of Greed's experimental facility! Where half-breeds and the incomplete were gathered, with nowhere left to go—a dead end!!"