The castle courtyard had been converted into a dueling arena.
Torches burned all around, and everyone who'd been enjoying the festivities was now eagerly awaiting the clash between the Heroes.
But the outcome was already a foregone conclusion.
A fight between me—completely lacking any means of offense—and Motoyasu, the Spear Hero.
It was supposed to be the Shield Hero's party versus the Spear Hero's party, but it ended up as a one-on-one duel between Motoyasu and me.
I guessed even Motoyasu's personal pride wouldn't allow anything less. So it became a one-on-one affair.
Anyone could imagine how that would turn out.
Sure enough, I didn't hear a single voice suggesting the usual formality of placing bets.
Well, part of that was because the castle was full of nobles, but there were also adventurers who'd fought in the Wave. Normally, gambling would be a foregone conclusion.
In other words, everyone knew exactly how this would end, and yet they still demanded my defeat.
Ren and Itsuki were watching from the castle terrace, laughing.
They were looking forward to the moment I lost and lost my Slave.
Damn it! Damn, damn, damn, damn!
Every last one of them only ever thought about what they could strip away from me. Even during the Wave, they rained fire down on me.
Every single thing in this world looked like nothing more than enemies mocking me.
...Fine. Maybe defeat was my only option. But I wasn't going to lose for free.
Watch this, Motoyasu. I've got a grudge against you that you can't even begin to suppress.
"Very well! Let the duel between the Spear Hero and the Shield Hero begin! The match ends either when one side is pushed to the brink of death, or when a contestant admits defeat!"
I tested my wrist rotation, cracked my knuckles, and got into position.
"There's that old saying about what happens when a spear fights a shield, but... this one's gonna be easy."
Motoyasu glared at me with contempt, practically looking down his nose at me.
What a joke.
"Then—"
Motoyasu, I'm going to teach you that fighting isn't just about knocking your opponent down.
The word "contradiction" originated from a group of people who asked a merchant selling both the world's strongest spear and the strongest shield which one was truly the greatest. It's a word used to describe something illogical.
But I personally think the word "contradiction" is itself a contradiction.
What does it even mean to decide a victory?
It's like trying to settle a match between shogi and Go.
And even if you did compare them, what about the wielder?
The purpose of a spear is to be a weapon that kills.
The purpose of a shield is to be armor that protects its wielder.
If you widen your perspective that far, you could argue that the shield wins—because it protected its wielder from the strongest spear.
Their fundamental purposes are completely different. A spear and a shield.
"Fight!"
"Ooooooh!"
"Dieeeee!"
I rushed toward Motoyasu in a telephone-punch stance while Motoyasu charged with his spear leveled, trying to impale me. The distance closed in an instant—Motoyasu thrust his spear forward with all his momentum at point-blank range.
An attack you can see coming is an attack you can deal with.
"Blitz Thrust!"
Motoyasu's spear split into a dozen copies and flew at me.
A skill?! He's using one right off the bat! Talk about going all in.
I couldn't stop my charge.
I protected my head with my shield and burst straight through.
Clang clang!
Thck!
Ngh... pain shot through my shoulder and side.
Just scratches, but as expected of a Hero's attack—I couldn't shrug them off completely.
Still, it seemed like Motoyasu's skill had a cooldown after that single use.
"Take this!"
Motoyasu hurled his spear at me anyway.
The weakness of a spear—or rather any polearm—was its range.
Long-range weapons that excelled at mid-distance became incredibly unwieldy once you got inside their reach.
Normally, you'd just kill the enemy before they closed in. But I was the Shield Hero—and the Shield doesn't go down in one hit.
I dodged Motoyasu's thrust by a hair's breadth, threw my entire body weight forward, and tackled him to the ground.
Then I slammed my fist into his face.
Bang!
Tch! As expected, my attacks couldn't do any real damage.
But I wasn't about to stop there.
Motoyasu looked at me like my hits didn't even tickle.
How long can you keep making that face?
I pulled my ultimate weapon from inside my cloak and jammed it right into his face.
Chomp!
"Ow!"
I'd lost everything to the rain of fire during the Wave, but I'd picked this up on the way to the castle—a little tool of intimidation.
"Huh?! What?!"
Heh heh heh... Motoyasu's voice was an absolute symphony of panic.
Chomp chomp chomp!
"Ow! Ow!"
Motoyasu was writhing in pain with his precious face being chewed on.
That's right—my attacks weren't limited to bare fists.
I've got Balloons, a handy weapon that's专门 designed for humans!
"Ora ora ora!"
Two on his face, and I pinned him down with my feet so he couldn't get up, then hurled a Balloon right at his crotch.
"W-why are there Balloons?!?"
The audience screamed.
Like I care!
Then I just kept slamming my weight down, kicking his crotch over and over alongside the Balloon.
"Grr... you bastard! What the hell are you doing!?"
"If I'm gonna lose anyway, I'm gonna make damn sure I make you miserable! The targets are the face—that thing that makes you a ladies' man—and your crotch, the proof that you're a man! Without that ugly mug and those balls, you're nothing but a gross otaku!"
"What!? Stop! Stop it!"
"Become impotent! Become impotent right now!"
Bang, bang—I kept kicking Motoyasu's crotch with relentless brutality.
Motoyasu could barely manage to peel the Balloons off his face, and in his fallen position, he couldn't swing his spear properly. Every time he cleared one off, I tossed another one on, forcing him to waste more time dealing with it.
Of course it wasn't just Balloons—I'd also thrown in Eggs and other things. Motoyasu was practically lying on a bed of needles.
I'd use this time to inflict as much harassment as humanly possible.
I was going to lose no matter what. So I might as well carve the deepest possible trauma into Motoyasu's memory.
"Ora ora ora!"
"Grrr... you son of a bitch!"
Every time Motoyasu tried to get up with all his strength, I pinned him back down with my full weight, and my vile assault continued.
Heh heh heh!
This was so satisfying! Scream louder!
I was grinning, lost in the moment—
"Guh...!"
Suddenly something shoved me hard from behind, and I stumbled.
As I staggered, I looked toward where the push had come from.
And there she was—that landmine of a woman!
Malty had slipped through the crowd and was holding her palm pointed in my direction.
Wind magic, probably. A spell called Wind Blow—a fist-sized projectile of compressed air.
Since it was made of air, it was completely invisible. You'd never notice it unless you looked carefully.
Malty wore a smug grin on her face and stuck her tongue out at me, taunting me.
"You damn—!"
My shout was drowned out by Motoyasu's counterattack as my stumble loosened the pressure I'd been holding him down with.
As I fell, Motoyasu—still panting—pressed the tip of his spear against my neck. The Balloons had all been torn off by now.
"Hah... hah... I win!"
Motoyasu raised his spear and declared victory with an expression that looked more painful than facing the Catastrophic Wave itself.