"It's been quite a while since we last exchanged words, hasn't it?"
"Ever since you disappeared... ah, it's been almost two weeks now. Watching your owner search for you with such a sad expression was hard to bear."
Rather than a voice that shook the atmosphere, it was the peculiar sensation of words seeping directly into the inside of his skull. Yet the languid tone was unmistakably the same as before, and Subaru couldn't help channeling his inner frustration into his response.
More than the joy of receiving a reply matching his expectations—or perhaps his hopes—the irritation ran deeper. How was he supposed to interpret this situation? He couldn't accept it honestly; the resentment ran too deep.
"It seems like over those two weeks when we couldn't talk... you've built up quite a bit of anger toward me, haven't you?"
"You know the reason, right? Don't make me spell it out."
"You're right. Before I stopped going outside... what I said to you in front of that blue-haired girl—when I think back on it, it was incredibly tactless. I've reflected on it deeply."
"...! I'm not trying to talk about that!"
It was tactless to dig up the circumstances that had already caused Subaru's anger to subside. And to bring up something that should have been off-limits, in an entirely different context at that.
"I know. I just wanted to apologize. If we don't clear the air before getting to the main topic, we might not be able to move forward properly. ...After all, I'm already in a position where I'll have to ask a lot of you."
"Oh, is that so? If your self-satisfaction is fulfilled, let's move on to the continuation—the main topic, the very thing you're itching to get to."
Subaru pretended to accept Puck's apology at face value, keeping his gaze fixed on the crystal stone as he urged Puck to continue.
The transparent, lustrous surface reflected Subaru's piercing stare, radiating a deep green glow against
Subaru clicked his tongue.
"Anyway, this situation makes it too inconvenient to talk. Come outside for now. There's no telling when Emilia might wake up. Let's change location..."
"I'm sorry, but I can't do that. —That is, in fact, one of the main topics."
Puck dismissed the suggestion—made while looking down at Emilia's sleeping face—with a thought-spoken reply. At this response, Subaru's expression momentarily turned to one of being pinched on the nose.
"That's not quite a refusal of 'no,' is it. What do you mean, you can't?"
"I mean exactly what I said. In my current state, I'm unable to materialize outside the crystal stone—that is, in the outside world. If I could, there's no way I'd leave Lia alone while she looks so sad, is there?"
"————"
Puck spoke as though stating the obvious, and Subaru answered with a silent wave of thought.
Given everything that had transpired between Subaru and this spirit, it was true that part of him felt skeptical about how much credence to give Puck's words.
However, putting aside Puck's tendency to fall short at critical moments, on a fundamental level—his existence was for Emilia's sake, and his feelings for her were genuine. On that point alone, there was no need for doubt.
Therefore, "There are circumstances, reasons... you physically cannot come outside."
"That's right. I couldn't even reach out with my thoughts like this. So when Subaru noticed and called out to the crystal stone, that was a stroke of luck. I don't think anyone else could have seized this opportunity."
"When you say anyone else..."
"Simply put, aside from you, there's nobody who would try to get close to Lia while she's unconscious. And even if someone were lucky enough to touch the crystal stone, whether thoughts could be transmitted depends on compatibility. We'd already confirmed before, at the royal capital, that a thought connection could be established between you and me."
"...Come to think of it, that did happen."
The second time at the royal capital—when he'd had a secret conversation with Emilia—Subaru and Puck had exchanged thoughts the same way.
That had been a recreation of this moment—and in the sense of a secret conversation about Emilia, this too was a recreation.
"So what should we do?"
"Hmm...?"
"You were deliberately waiting for someone to call out to you, and I happened to do so in this godsend situation. You must have been preparing for this—one-in-a-million chance—with what needed to be conveyed and the hints to give, all within the limited time and opportunity."
"————"
At Subaru's words, a meaningful silence. Subaru could vividly imagine the invisible little cat spirit wearing an unnaturally human-like grin.
Puck laughed, unable to hide his delight, his voice matching Subaru's imagination exactly: "As expected, I was right to put my faith in you. I can't deny that it pains me to think I have to entrust Lia to someone other than myself, though."
"...Would you like me to relay to Emilia what you're thinking?"
Puck's joyful words grew dimmer toward the end, taking on a humble quality. Subaru's eyes softened. He then made the proposal—though he wasn't sure it would serve as consolation. But once said aloud, it actually seemed like a stroke of genius.
The current Emilia had lost sight of Puck—the core pillar supporting her heart—and was unsteady. She might endure now, but as time passed and the failures of the "Trial" piled up, her mind and body would wear down and reveal their fragility. If that was the case, perhaps it would be better to offer some measure of salvation here— "You should stop. If Emilia learned that my words could reach someone else, in the worst case, her heart could break."
Puck's somber voice halted the plans Subaru was formulating internally. Absorbing the meaning of those words, Subaru let out a dry "ha" in reality.
"What... exactly do you mean by that?"
"I mean what I said. If my words reach Lia through you, that means she'd realize I'm not asleep inside the crystal stone. For Emilia, who's keeping me sealed away and preventing contact with anyone, becoming aware that my mouth isn't shut could destabilize the precarious balance of her heart even now."
"Wait, hold on—!"
Subaru shook his head in protest as Puck's torrent of words continued.
The crystal stone's sheen was all Subaru could see—Puck's expression was invisible. But at the very least, his tone showed no intention of deception.
"Do you realize what you just said? You're telling me that Emilia herself is preventing you from coming outside!"
"............"
"That you're being silenced... What does that mean? Emilia was calling for you, begging for your help, crying out through her tears... How could she do that?! Not me, not anyone else—Emilia calls your name when she's at her most exhausted! How can you...!"
"...Ah, I see. You're frustrated most of all because you're not the one Emilia is relying on, aren't you, Subaru?"
"————!!"
The words seemed to redirect the argument, yet their meaning struck precisely at Subaru's core. His throat tightened with an indescribable fury.
It was true that he wanted to be Emilia's number one, and he had been acting on that conviction. And it was equally true that the fact remained that he was not her number one.
The being who occupied that spot—someone who surely possessed far more power than Subaru—who declared Emilia to be their number one as well, yet failed to act for her sake. The mere existence of that being was maddeningly, hatefully infuriating.
And yet, to be told that the reason and cause for this lay not with himself or Puck, but with Emilia herself—he could never accept that from the bottom of his heart.
"So what? Are you saying that Emilia's tears when facing the 'Trial,' her suffering alone until she's worn thin, her tearful smiles when remembering her painful past—all of it, every last bit, is a performance built on lies? —I can't possibly believe that!"
If those tears, that voice, that wailing—every bit of it was an act designed to deceive everyone around her, then Emilia's acting ability was truly a gift from the heavens. She should aim to become the greatest actress in the world, not the throne.
If he could simply crush and ignore the obvious truth—that Emilia had no such talent, and no reason to deceive them—then perhaps he should.
"That can't be... She's not someone who could keep deceiving everyone with lies. She's crushed by guilt over even the tiniest of lies... That's the kind of person Emilia is..."
"Subaru, calm down. I'm not saying anything nearly as terrible about Lia as your worst imagination would have you believe. So please, calm down."
"Worst imagination...? What worst imagination? Don't you dare peek into my head uninvited! That has nothing to do with this. No matter what happens from here on, I will never let Emilia—"
"—
Puck's sharp voice struck like a blow, targeting Subaru who had been swept up in the current of his emotions.
That brief address, loaded with intense feeling, made Subaru's body tremble for an instant, freezing him in place. He timidly turned his gaze, and as always, there was no sign of a little cat—only the inorganic glow resting quietly against Emilia's chest. And yet, "...Have you calmed down?"
"You... you could raise your voice like that too, huh? I always thought you were just this spacey, fluff-obsessed thing that ignored how serious things were."
"I don't usually raise my voice, but... when it comes to Lia, and when I need to scold an undisciplined child, I can manage a loud one."
"An undisciplined brat, huh."
At the unsparing words, Subaru let out a small sigh.
He couldn't entirely deny Puck's assessment, because he was aware that his own behavior up to this point had been the problem.
Here he was, in the dialogue he'd been longing for, yet he'd repeatedly lost his composure. How many times had Puck had to rein him in and steer the conversation back on track?
He was frustrated with his own lack of self-control. The "iron heart" he so desperately yearned for—not even a trace of it existed within him.
"That said, the fact that you care enough about Lia to get this emotional is actually, in its own way, something I'm grateful for. You must be giving her considerable strength too."
"...Huh?"
"No one else has ever delved this deeply into Lia's heart. Even Roswaal, who took Lia out of the forest for the Royal Selection—he doesn't interfere with the deeper parts of her soul. His wishes lie elsewhere, in what Lia would do if she took the throne. It's only natural, I suppose."
"...Do you know what Roswaal's objective is?"
"Tracing the Gospel, right? That part might be similar to Betty's situation. The position of being written about, versus the position of not being written about. It might be more accurate to say similar yet different."
The positions of both Roswaal and
However, Subaru had a rough idea of what response he'd get if he pressed the question.
"Because it had nothing to do with Emilia, you didn't take the initiative to act... right?"
"Betty—if I could do something for her, I'd like to. As for Roswaal... since he's dragging Lia into this, it's something that needs to be dealt with."
"You knew about it but kept putting it off, and now the bill's come due."
"I can't argue with that. I do feel bad about dragging you into this mess, though."
Rather than malice, it was the part of him that prioritized nothing above Emilia that had exerted the strongest influence. If this fair-weather stance of his was what had brought about today's ordeal for Emilia, then the mistake was far too grave to laugh off as a minor blunder.
"I'll break Roswaal myself, so leave that for now. As for Beatrice... I'm not handing that over to you either. I'll conspire with you on Emilia's matters only."
"That works. For now, I don't have much strength to spare beyond Lia. If I exhausted myself on secondary matters and let the most important thing slip through my fingers, that would be putting the cart before the horse."
"Tell me. What does it mean that Emilia isn't letting you come outside? I can't believe for a second that she's deceiving me or anyone around her."
Subaru had spoken harshly out of passion earlier, but his opinion hadn't changed. He could never know every corner of Emilia's heart, but he could never imagine her being the kind of person who would scheme against those around her or disregard their feelings.
To this, Puck transmitted something like a sigh of relief through their thought connection: "I suppose I should say it's not that simple. Emilia isn't preventing me from going outside out of malice... Lia isn't actively keeping me from going outside. Rather—"
"...Sorry, I don't follow."
"It's hard to explain. That Emilia is calling for my help, reaching out to the crystal stone, that she can't hear my voice—all of that is true. She's terrified of being alone, she's trembling without support. That's all real. But—"
"————"
"On an unconscious level, Lia is rejecting my materialization and communication. I suppose you could say her heart's surface and its depths are at odds."
"Surface and depths of the heart"—the expression made Subaru catch his breath.
It probably wasn't something as straightforward as a split personality, but Subaru knew all too well the experience of being betrayed by one's own heart. He'd felt it repeatedly every time this world had pushed him to the brink.
If Emilia was in a similar situation...
"Can't you reach out to Emilia from your side?"
"That's difficult. The force from the depths is stronger than that of the surface. Whatever would happen if I appeared on the surface must be something truly devastating to Emilia's heart."
"You think it would be devastating to Emilia's heart? Do you have some idea? Something that would be detrimental to Emilia if you came out..."
"You probably have a pretty good idea, don't you?"
Puck's voice took on a teasing edge as he caught Subaru's words. Subaru fell silent for a moment, then lowered his gaze.
"...But it's only a guess."
"Mm, that's fine. Go ahead and tell me. Like you said—I'm counting on you, Subaru."
Puck gave Subaru his enthusiastic endorsement—enthusiastic despite the triviality of the guarantee. Even so, Subaru felt a measure of relief as he spoke, pushed forward as if by those words.
"If you're there, then Emilia..."
"Mm-hmm."
"She'll have to acknowledge the parts of her past that she'd rather not face. —That's why Emilia is unconsciously rejecting a situation where you could speak out."
--- Puck received Subaru's thought-wave without denial or dismissal, holding it in silence.
If the invisible little cat spirit had actually been present, would he have maintained that same languid demeanor and easy expression, swaying his long tail from side to side?
"That's amazing, Subaru. That's more than I expected."
After a brief silence, Puck spoke with admiration in response to Subaru's words.
Subaru snorted through his nose.
"I'll be honest—I'm not the slightest bit happy about being praised."
"It's genuine praise. There wasn't that much information to work with, so reaching this conclusion on pure deduction alone is truly impressive. You understand the state of Lia's heart well, too."
Filled with affection, Puck's consciousness must have been gazing down at sleeping Emilia. As if drawn by that voice, Subaru looked at her white, sleeping face.
In a sleep so deep she could see neither nightmares nor pleasant dreams—Emilia. The "Trial" and its accompanying past, wearing away at her heart, driving it to the brink.
However, Subaru was skeptical about how accurately the recreation of that past "faithfully followed the actual facts."
In truth, the past Subaru had shaken off during the "Trial" had come in the form of his deepest regret—his farewell to his parents. Naturally. For Subaru, the past he needed to let go of wasn't a single great event, but the very lazy, idle time he'd spent in that environment, and all that had built up to it.
Therefore, the "Trial" had, for Subaru, created a time that never truly existed—peaceful moments with his parents, a symbol of his regret—and forced him to bid them farewell.
"The past doesn't faithfully replicate the real world. It absorbs the challenger's mental landscape and various other conditions, then constructs a form suited to the 'Trial.'"
At the place where the "Trial" concluded,
His farewell to his parents hadn't been real—it had been nothing more than self-satisfaction.
—And so what? That was what he thought now.
"The past you see in the tomb is a fake dressed as the real thing. The witch who set up the 'Trial' rigs the questions so that challengers will produce the answer that feels best for them."
She hadn't said exactly those words, but Subaru was certain Echidna would do exactly that. That was how clearly he could see the darkness in the witch's gut.
Therefore, "The past Emilia is seeing has correct parts and incorrect parts. There's something—something that fundamentally alters the past—and you know what it is. That's why Emilia is unconsciously rejecting calling you out."
"...I wonder why. If I were there, Lia would be able to see the true, real past. Knowing that, why would her heart's true feelings reject me?"
"That's because..."
Simple—Subaru was about to continue, but hesitated to put the rest into words.
The reason for his hesitation was itself simple. To say the next part aloud would be to expose the truth of Emilia's past. And the cruel, eye-averting time that Emilia had spoken of—as a cover for that, her heart was hiding the truth.
"The true time that Emilia wants to forget is something even more devoid of salvation than the false time she spoke of."
Puck gave form to the answer Subaru couldn't bring himself to articulate.
Becoming aware of what he'd kept unconscious until it was spoken aloud, Subaru's face twisted in anguish as he gazed at Emilia.
The people she'd spent warm, gentle times with—people who turned malice and hatred toward her, who cursed her name as she met her long, long farewell within the ice. Just thinking about it threatened to tear apart his mind and body. And yet, this past was, for Emilia, a gentle cradle shielding her from the true, cruel truth.
"Do you know what Emilia actually saw?"
"...Unfortunately, that's something even I don't know. I met Lia after she was frozen in the ice in the forest. So I don't know what it is about my existence that she fears. I don't know what part of me determines her past."
Puck muttered with genuine frustration, and Subaru bit his lip.
Emilia's true past—yet, this gave him a thread to grasp. The reason she couldn't overcome the "Trial."
Each time she faced the "Trial," Emilia was shown her true past alongside a different past. And Emilia herself wished for that false past to be her own.
Unless she could answer the true past, the "Trial" could never be crossed. As long as Emilia was deceived by her own heart, the past would continue to slice into her with a bittersweet blade.
"What should we do?"
"I don't know."
"I want to save Emilia. I want to be her strength."
"I feel the same. I exist solely for her sake. If I can't be her strength, then my very existence is meaningless."
"I want to support her in what she wants to do, and stand by her side."
"————"
Before Subaru's plea, Puck fell silent, as if deep in thought. Subaru simply waited, still, for the spirit's answer. Then, Puck spoke in a voice tinged with resolve: "Subaru. —There is one possibility."
"A possibility...?"
"It's something I absolutely would not have considered on my own, and even now, I'll be honest—I feel strong resistance toward it. Even if it had occurred to me, I'm certain I never would have spoken it."
At Puck's emphatic preamble, Subaru braced himself for what was coming. At the very least, this was the first time Subaru had heard Puck use such a serious tone in a context other than calling out to Emilia.
"What are you planning to have me do?"
"What needs doing is on me. The cleanup afterward, though, will be on you."
"...I'm scared, because I feel like you're about to say something insane."
"I never would have dreamed of asking this of anyone, either. But... you're the only one I felt might actually stake your life for Lia's sake."
As if suppressing some great emotion, Puck's words made Subaru take a quiet breath.
The feelings Puck felt toward Subaru—those were undeniably real. Natsuki Subaru would stake his life for Emilia.
And so, as Subaru wordlessly affirmed, Puck must have nodded inside the crystal stone.
Then, in a quiet voice, he spoke: "Tomorrow morning, I will force Lia to break our contract. —If my bond with Lia were severed... how would you comfort her, I wonder, as she breaks down in tears?"