——Subaru was running frantically through a world where everything looked warped.
"————————"
This wasn't sane.
This wasn't sane, wasn't sane, wasn't sane, wasn't sane, wasn't sane, wasn't sane, wasn't sane, wasn't sane, wasn't sane, wasn't sane, wasn't sane, wasn't sane.
Over and over, those words echoed through his mind.
And as the words repeated, what painted itself behind his eyelids was the final moment of Roswaal, cut down before his eyes by the
Without resistance, accepting his own death so casually, not even crying out in pain as his flesh was torn apart, Roswaal had ended his own existence.
——This was abnormal.
If you couldn't call this abnormal, if you couldn't call this madness, then what could you call it?
If his parallel-world self could achieve their objective, then it wouldn't matter if his present self died — if this were a game, Subaru might have attributed the same meaning to a player character's death.
But this was reality.
How could you entrust your own life, your real life, to another version of yourself who was a stranger?
Roswaal, devoured by rabbits before Subaru's eyes, was dead. And Roswaal's consciousness would not return together with Subaru to the world he came back to via "Return by Death."
He might share the same hope in "Return by Death," but the weight of what he had to pay to reach it was utterly different between Subaru and Roswaal.
Unlike Subaru, who could bring things back, the price Roswaal offered would never return.
"——Ugh."
While running, Subaru recalled Roswaal's horrific death and was seized by nausea.
Stomach acid surged up, searing his throat with a burning sensation. Not even willing to waste a moment retching, Subaru dashed through the
——Hell was unfolding before Subaru once again.
Though the snow had stopped falling in the Sanctuary, a howling wind still blew against him.
Grimacing at the pain of his skin being shaved by the cold like a rasp, he looked up around him, and from every direction, cries drifted through the wind.
*Kichikichi, kichikichi* — the sound of short, saw-like teeth grinding together, a threat display aimed at prey, and it was enveloping the entire Sanctuary.
The Great Rabbits were wandering through the Sanctuary in search of food.
How intense was the hunger and starvation driving them?
As if even pausing to rest their jaws was too much to bear when no prey could be found, they were latching onto their own kin and devouring them to stave off the emptiness. Truly broken, genuine monstrosities.
The grating sound of teeth, the death throes and wails of cannibalism — these sounds came endlessly from all around, eroding Subaru's sanity little by little by little.
"——Whoa!"
Shaking his head to rid himself of the wretched sounds ringing in his ears, Subaru didn't notice the rabbit passing overhead with its jaws wide open. The vicious snap of fangs clashing together rang out as the rabbit missed its prey, and it thrashed in the snow, issuing a threatening display.
Immediately after, one of the Ryuzu clones running alongside Subaru drove her heel down from directly above, crushing the rabbit's torso. Flesh split, bones snapped, and the rabbit vomited the contents of its small body from its mouth before dying.
Exhaling, Subaru resumed his sprint without sparing the corpse a glance. The Ryuzu clones also moved to keep pace with the running Subaru.
Behind them, slightly farther back, other rabbits arrived beneath the one that had just been crushed. The sound of the carcass being devoured in a single breath reached his ears, and the bell of doom within Subaru rang still louder.
There were six Ryuzu clones remaining around Subaru.
Right after Roswaal had been taken down by the Great Rabbit, there had been eleven of them — now the number had been halved.
Commanded to "protect Subaru's body," they had intercepted the Great Rabbit's assault, or shielded Subaru with their own bodies, each time being converted back into mana.
Subaru's mind had shut down over the fact that he had given the order to sacrifice their lives.
Right now, all he could worry about was whether
Because it seemed like the only way to justify his present actions, the only way to protect his heart.
"The great cathedral...!"
With his feet catching in the snow, avoiding the clusters of Great Rabbits, Subaru made a wide detour through the Sanctuary and at last reached the settlement's center — the great cathedral.
In a village with no light source, the great cathedral immediately caught Subaru's eye.
Of course it did.
——Because in a world of white, only the great cathedral was enveloped in crimson flames.
"Why...?"
Kneeling in the snow, Subaru murmured in a hoarse voice, stunned.
Mixed with the crackling sound of flames spreading as they repelled the building materials, he could see the forms of Great Rabbits diving into the fire to reach the prey within, incinerating and falling like winged insects.
The fact that they were so desperate to enter the great cathedral meant that something capable of filling their hunger was inside.
And the fact that something still remained inside those flames meant exactly that.
"————————"
He could understand — if not for the despair of surviving, if one preferred to be eaten by rabbits and be done with it — the desire to choose death. It wasn't impossible to understand. But even so, "Even so, to keep fighting until the very end..."
He had wanted them to fight, to refuse to give up on living until the final, final moment. Was that too heartless a thing to say?
Roswaal, and the people of the Sanctuary alike, treated their lives far too carelessly.
Having forgotten that he himself was the one most deserving of such criticism, Subaru covered his face and wept.
Neither Roswaal nor Subaru had been the kind of people the Sanctuary's residents and the refugees from
If they had built that much trust, they would have refused to give up on life and fought until the final moment. ——This, too, was entirely Subaru's fault, Subaru's sin.
"Just Rem, at least..."
To rank the value of lives and hope that she alone was saved — Subaru was far too arrogant.
In his mind, Subaru called out to the clone — the representative personality, Ryuzu — whom he had instructed to return to the great cathedral and retrieve Rem. But no noticeable response came from anywhere.
——Rem was inside that burning great cathedral.
Even if she had managed to escape, Subaru was not so foolish as to believe Ryuzu alone could protect Rem and still outrun the Great Rabbit.
He clenched his back teeth. It tasted of blood.
Gnawing on the taste of blood, biting down on the bile welling up, Subaru bit down on his decision. ——This was a world that was already over. He had known that much, yet he had kept refusing to give up and had come all this way.
This time, it should truly be time to give up.
"————————"
He could sense them closing in — creatures held captive by their obsessive hunger.
From the burning great cathedral, rabbits that had given up on feasting on the prey inside had noticed the kneeling Subaru and the clones surrounding him.
Rising to his feet, brushing off the snow, Subaru exhaled deeply.
He did not notice the sensation of tears trailing down his cheeks. And so, he did not wipe them away.
"Emilia..."
This was a world that was ending.
Even if it didn't end on its own, Subaru would end it.
A world where he couldn't save a single one of the people he had wanted to stay with, to keep living alongside — when the end came, he at least wanted to be beside the precious girl he loved.
"Shield me with your bodies. ——Once we reach the tomb, do as you please after that."
Emotionlessly, Subaru addressed the six remaining clones. Then, as though fleeing from the ring of Great Rabbits drawing tighter around him, he took one step, another step, and then broke into a run.
Sensing their prey's attempt to flee, the Great Rabbits drooled and gave voiceless cries as they pursued Subaru's footprints.
"————————"
Two clones struck the lead of the incoming horde of Great Rabbits with a decisive blow.
The sound of flesh being crushed and death throes trailed behind, and in the next instant, an even greater number of rabbits swarmed the clones.
In an instant, their bodies were entirely covered in white fur, knocked sideways — and the moment they received fatal wounds, their small bodies transformed into a torrent of pale blue light.
In their vanishing final strike, the explosion of mana caught the Great Rabbits with them, and phosphorescent light danced wildly across the Sanctuary's night sky.
Sensing the clones' final radiance behind him through his skin, Subaru shook his head as if casting aside everything he had left behind, gritted his teeth, and kept running toward the tomb.
——He kept running.
※※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ When he arrived at the tomb, Subaru's body could no longer feel the cold.
Snow blurred his vision, and though his eyelashes felt frozen, Subaru paid no heed to any of it as white breath escaped his trembling lips.
Blunted, heavy thoughts formed the image of only a single girl.
His footsteps echoed as he stepped on the stone-paved corridor and headed deeper inside.
In the Trials chamber, the girl he had laid down to sleep should be waiting for him.
"——Subaru?"
The moment he stepped into the open space, a silver-bell voice called his name.
Drawn by that voice, he walked toward it. Seeing Subaru enter the hall, the figure who had been standing there let out a voice filled with joy.
"See, it really is Subaru! Geez, where were you? You had me so worried!"
Saying that, she jogged over, and Emilia took Subaru's hand.
Pouting, Emilia pressed Subaru's hand — still holding it — against her own chest, her warmth flowing through to him as she looked up at him from below.
"...Are you tired?"
"Yeah... maybe a little... I think..."
"Hehe, I see. Well then, well then."
Seeing Subaru honestly admit it, Emilia's cheeks flushed pink and she smiled.
Then, still holding his hand, she suddenly sat down on the spot. Crossing her legs to the side, she pulled Subaru down to a half-squat and drew him closer still.
"Here you go, Subaru."
"...Lap pillow, huh?"
"Mhm. Subaru, you like my lap pillow, right? That's what you said. I remember those kinds of things perfectly, you know? Here, go ahead."
Patting her own knee with a proud, bashful grin, Emilia waited as Subaru sat down on the spot. Obligingly, he rested his head on her soft thigh.
For a moment, his short hair grazed her delicate skin, and Emilia let out a soft, sensual "Mm," but she quickly grew accustomed to it and began stroking Subaru's head.
"How many times have I given Subaru a lap pillow now?"
"I dunno... third time, maybe? It feels like I'm always a wreck."
"I think it's fun, doing this — playing with Subaru's hair, touching your face with my fingers. See, poke poke~"
Tugging at his bangs, pressing her fingers into his cheeks — Subaru let Emilia do as she pleased.
He could feel that this was her way of expressing affection, so the thought of brushing her fingers away didn't even cross his mind.
A world that was already ending — right now, he just wanted to drown in Emilia's love.
——Because by now, most of what had been inside his stomach and his blood had already been spent.
Subaru's current state was so gruesome that an ordinary person would want to look away.
Fangs had struck his back — if he lifted his clothing, his bones would probably be visible. Combined with his shredded thigh, the bleeding was enormous, and when he had flung off a lunging rabbit, he had lost the fingers on his right hand, leaving only his thumb.
That he had managed to reach this place even in his delirious state was perhaps an ironic consequence of an obsession-like tenacity and the freezing cold slowing his metabolism. And even then, "Subaru, are you a bit lighter than before?"
"I tried the blood-loss diet. Like... I jettisoned ballast to shed weight, getting lighter and lighter, something like that..."
"I don't know what that means, but you did something reckless for someone else again, didn't you? That's just the kind of person Subaru is. I know, but... I was really, really worried."
"............"
"Actually, I wish you'd only do things like that for me. But that's my selfishness, and I might not want to see a Subaru who turns a blind eye to other people just for my sake. ...That's my selfishness too, sorry."
The words tumbled from Emilia's mouth in a rush, her voice growing distant.
Inside the tomb, the temperature was kept closer to normal, unlike the cold outside. Ironically, this brought Subaru's metabolism back to its resting state, and the blood that had slowed began to flow again.
The fresh blood spreading across the stone pavement stained it red, and blood also spilled from Subaru's mouth as he coughed.
The splattered blood speckled Emilia's white cheeks. But — "Hey, Subaru, are you listening? There are so many things I want to talk about, so many things I want to ask. Please. Stay by my side. Let me hear your voice. Listen to me, okay?"
Emilia paid no heed to the blood that had splattered on her cheek.
No — she hadn't even noticed. Her violet eyes gazed down at Subaru, reflecting him — but she was not accepting the reality before her as it truly was.
When Subaru had returned from the mansion, he had been battered and covered in wounds from Elsa's torture-like assault. Being dragged to the tomb by Garfiel would only have made his appearance worse.
But Emilia had not noticed Subaru's injuries, nor did she care.
The same held true now, even as Subaru stood before her with parts of his body bitten away by the Great Rabbit in numerous places.
Emilia could not see reality right now.
And perhaps the same was true for Subaru.
"————————"
In truth, Subaru should have warned Emilia of the danger and gotten her away from this place.
The Great Rabbits had already filled the area outside the tomb, and before long, they would come pouring in here too. If that happened, Emilia would be done for.
Just as Roswaal had been, just as the villagers had chosen death in the flames, Emilia would not be spared a gruesome end.
Knowing this, Subaru could not bring himself to tell Emilia.
He could not escape his own selfish wish — to spend his final remaining moments, just a sliver of time left, by Emilia's side.
Roswaal's words and his horrific death, the remorse of having gotten Garfiel and
Pain, even the fear of death — none of it mattered now.
——All he wanted, desperately, was to simply vanish from this world.
Subaru's reckless, selfish wish was granted.
The world began to turn white and hazy, and his consciousness and soul drifted gradually away from this place.
Strength left his limbs, and the physical sensation that had already been fading disappeared entirely.
What remained, what was left behind, was Emilia — unaware that Subaru was slipping away.
"————————"
Was he... leaving Emilia behind?
Leaving behind Emilia — who could rely on no one but Subaru, who had lost every single person and thing she could have turned to — was he, the only one left she could depend on, leaving her behind too?
"Aa—"
It was too late for regret now. Everything was too late.
No voice came, and the light of life faded from his eyes.
Emilia did not notice. She simply tilted her head cutely at Subaru, who had fallen silent.
Then she smiled softly, leaned her face close, and — "Subaru —"
"————————"
She pressed her lips to the silent Subaru's.
——The first kiss tasted of cold "death."