Subaru thought that the sensation of waking from sleep was a lot like surfacing from underwater.
When he pried his eyelids open, the slanting sunlight seared his retinas, and he squinted and rubbed his eyes against the glare. All things considered, waking up was the easy part — once Subaru's eyes opened, his consciousness snapped to attention almost immediately. That was just his constitution.
"Oh, you're awake?"
The voice came from directly above — from somewhere over his head as he lay there sleeping.
Subaru turned toward the voice and realized, all at once, that he was sprawled on the ground, dozing with his head resting against something remarkably soft.
"Don't move yet. You took a hit to the head too, so I can't be sure it's safe."
The voice, concerned for his condition, was gentle — and beneath his head, the sensation was nothing short of blissful.
Subaru replayed the events just before he'd lost consciousness and immediately arrived at the deduction that he was currently in an impossibly fortunate situation from a young man's perspective.
—Wait, is this... a beautiful girl's lap pillow?!
Seizing upon this heaven-sent blessing, Subaru prepared to roll over and savor the feeling of that thigh against his cheek.
In a single circular motion, his cheek arrived at that supreme surface, and the sensation — even softer and plusher than he'd imagined — pushed back against his entire face.
—Huh, come to think of it, beautiful girls are kind of fuzzy, aren't they?
"Hold on — that can't possibly be right—!"
"Welcome back to the land of the living~" (falsetto) He shot that retort upward, and this time his newly awakened eyes finally rendered the world in proper focus.
Directly in Subaru's inverted field of vision loomed an enormous cat's face.
The cat wore an impossibly endearing expression, its mouth curved into something resembling a smile.
"I was simply trying to make your moment of reawakening as pleasant as possible. A refined gesture, wouldn't you say?" (falsetto) "First of all, drop the falsetto. It's unsettling."
Subaru, in the extraordinary predicament of receiving a lap pillow from a human-sized cat, could at least manage that one request. Beyond that, he decided he might as well enjoy the fluffy sensation against his cheek while he was at it.
"Fluffy... so fluffy... My, my, what have you brought into this world, O God?"
"Well, when someone's this happy about it, it really makes the effort of enlarging myself worthwhile, you know? Right?" (falsetto) The giant cat scratched behind its ear with a bashful gesture, winking one eye in a bid for agreement. And standing at the receiving end of that gaze, arms crossed in clear displeasure at the alley's entrance, was a silver-haired girl.
There was no mistaking her — the girl seared into Subaru's memory and eyes just before he'd lost consciousness.
"So that means you're that miniature cat from earlier?"
"Heh heh. Compact and portable — that's our motto. Plus, with my boundless humor, I can brighten up even the most tedious daily life. One cat per person! Your lifelong companion. For details, please inquire at the Spirit Council."
The cat rattled off its sales pitch with nimble snaps of its fingers. The content was a bit hard to follow, but Subaru figured that was probably just its act, and let it go.
He then shifted his attention to the girl who was approaching the center of the conversation.
"So, in the end, you stuck around until I woke up and all..."
"Don't get the wrong idea. I only stayed because I had something to ask you. If that weren't the case, I would have left you there without a second thought. That's right, I would have. So don't get the wrong idea."
When she repeated herself this emphatically, even Subaru couldn't very well push the point any further.
She was pressing him with a fierce expression — and for a guy with a social skill level of one, let alone an opposite-gender social skill level of one, Subaru had no choice but to nod along regardless of what she was actually saying, simply because her intensity left him breathless.
"So the fact that I healed your wounds with healing magic, and the fact that I let you enjoy
"Wow, you really managed to come across as condescending while making a completely reasonable request."
It was a line of reasoning straight out of the "kindness repaid is no kindness at all" school of thought.
In response to Subaru's retort, the girl kept her stern expression and shook her head.
"Not at all. This is one-sided. —So. You have some idea about my stolen insignia, don't you?"
Having tentatively accepted her terms, Subaru was met with this question, spoken in a voice she'd lowered just slightly.
He couldn't help but tilt his head at the content of the inquiry.
Honestly, he had the nagging feeling he'd been asked the exact same question just before losing consciousness.
"Did I hit my head again while I was unconscious? Something like that?"
"You were only out for about five minutes at most. As far as I can tell, nothing of the sort happened."
"So it's déjà vu? Or maybe my latent special ability has awakened, giving me the power to physically experience events just a few moments ahead of time?"
How about naming it "Day-Before-Yesterday, Drop Dead"?
It actually sounded like it might come in handy for, say, having answers prepared in advance for test questions. Or even going back to deal with tricky problems you noticed on an exam. The possibilities were limitless.
"Oh — I used to be a shut-in!"
"Could you please stop going off on tangents while ignoring my intent entirely? So — the answer to my question."
"Uhh, well, in that case, I'm not sure I really have any leads..."
An insignia — presumably something like the badges that lawyers, prosecutors, or Self-Defense Force officers wore to prove their identity.
Unfortunately, Subaru had absolutely no memory of seeing anything of the sort in the past hour or so.
If he could get back home, he had mountains of toy badges from his childhood collection — but he had no idea how to get there, and even if he produced them, they'd just be fodder for those ice chunks.
So Subaru was unable to meet what he assumed was her expectation.
But the girl, far from showing any disappointment at his answer, simply nodded.
"Fine. Then there's nothing to be done about it. But on the bright side, I did manage to extract the information that you know nothing, which means I've gotten proper compensation for healing your injuries."
With a line of reasoning that would leave even professional con artists dumbfounded, she openly declared that she'd gotten the short end of the stick.
She left Subaru sitting there, stunned, and then — as if a weight had been lifted — she clapped her hands together once.
"Well, I'm heading out now. Sorry, but I'm in a hurry. Your wounds should be mostly healed, and after the way I threatened those guys, they probably won't bother you again — but wandering into an empty alley at this hour is basically the same as volunteering for suicide. Oh, and this isn't concern — it's a warning. If you stumble into a similar situation next time, there's no benefit in my saving you, so don't expect it, because it'll just be trouble for me."
She rattled off this torrent of words at breakneck speed, and when Subaru's silence failed to produce a rebuttal, she took it as assent and murmured "Good," with visible satisfaction, then turned on her heel.
Her long silver hair swayed with the motion, shimmering even in the dim light of the alley with an almost ethereal quality.
Suddenly, the weight he'd been leaning against vanished, and Subaru hastily righted himself.
When he looked back, the massive cat's corporeal form was gone — in its place, it had returned to the palm-sized form he'd first seen. The cat floated gently through the air like a balloon adrift on the wind, heading toward the girl's back.
"Sorry about that. Our little one here isn't great at being honest. Don't think too badly of her."
The cat's voice, now layered with amusement, offered this parting apology before landing softly on the girl's shoulder. Her hand reached up to stroke the cat's back once, confirming its familiar weight, and then the pair slipped into her silver hair and disappeared.
As he watched her elegant back recede, Subaru turned the cat's parting words over and over in his mind.
—Apparently she's not good at being honest. Her words and actions... what did they really mean?
The girl had apparently been robbed. She'd been chasing the thief who'd stolen something precious from her.
Along the way, she'd found Subaru — an unrelated bystander about to be assaulted — and had taken time away from pursuing the thief to save him.
On top of that, she'd healed Subaru even though he'd been a tremendous inconvenience by collapsing, had stood guard until he woke up, had repeated a question she'd already asked just so she could frame the information as payment, and had gone out of her way to make sure Subaru didn't feel indebted to her.
This wasn't a matter of simply "not being honest."
This was the first time Subaru had ever met someone who voluntarily went to such extraordinary lengths of troublesome consideration.
For the girl, everything she'd gained from her involvement with Subaru amounted to exactly zero.
She'd lost sight of the fugitive on top of spending time healing Subaru — in terms of net balance, she'd taken a catastrophic loss.
The girl had every right to blame Subaru, and Subaru had an obligation to accept whatever scorn she threw at him.
But in the end, the girl hadn't blamed him, and he hadn't heard a single word of apology.
Because from the girl's perspective, everything she'd done in saving Subaru had unfolded exactly according to her own self-serving rationale.
"A life like that... you're gonna lose out big-time."
As he muttered this, Subaru stood up and slapped the dust off his track suit.
His beloved track suit was certainly filthy, but there was barely a thread out of place. More importantly, the pain from having been kicked and beaten so thoroughly had completely vanished.
He rolled his shoulders, worked his legs, and confirmed he was in working order — once again struck by the sheer absurdity of magic.
And also struck by just how far beyond the norm this girl was — doing someone such an enormous favor and then writing it off for next to nothing.
"Hey — wait up!"
At the alley's entrance, where it connected to the main road, the girl was about to glance back. Subaru called out to her retreating figure.
She ran a hand through her long silver hair and turned around with an expression of mild irritation.
"What? Our conversation is over. You and I are strangers now. Two people whose lives intersected for the briefest of moments — total strangers."
"Don't say things that cut that deep! And even if you think it's over, I'm not even close to done. Not even a little!"
The girl's icy gaze notwithstanding, Subaru hurried over to her side — looking, he couldn't help but think, exactly like a rejected guy desperately chasing after a girl who'd dumped him. But he spread both arms wide to block her path.
"That thing's important to you, right? Let me help."
"But you haven't..."
"Sure, I don't know the thief's name, background, or hobbies — but I do at least know what she looked like! A pretty blonde girl with really noticeable snaggle-teeth! Shorter than you, smaller chest, probably two or three years younger — something like that. Right?!"
When Subaru got flustered, he had a bad habit of getting excited and talking way too fast.
This time that habit was on full display, and frankly, even he was taken aback by his own words.
—Why the heck did I mention her teeth, her chest, and then call her a pretty girl? And what's with the "right?!" — since when do I speak English like I'm some kind of character? I gave up on English in middle school!
The summer of his first year in middle school, during his very first summer vacation, he'd lost his English textbook, and from that day forward Subaru had unilaterally cut all ties with foreign loanwords. A miniature nation in lockdown.
And now here he was, of all people, casually dropping English into everyday conversation— He was about to slip into a lengthy, self-recriminating memoir of anxiety and regret.
Cold sweat soaked his back. Armpit sweat and palm sweat made his sleeves a disaster. Heart palpitations, shortness of breath, dizziness, anemia, a stuffy head, and a migraine — besieged on all four sides.
What saved him from this self-inflicted, close-to-death predicament was: "...Weirdo."
—The girl's voice, as she pressed a hand to her lips and tilted her head like she was examining some exotic specimen.
She stared Subaru up and down, sizing him up.
"I should warn you — I can't offer any kind of reward. I'm dead broke, believe it or not."
"Well, you got completely cleaned out, yeah."
"Don't worry. I'm basically broke too."
"Nothing about that is reassuring."
Subaru consciously ignored the intermittent interjections and thumped his chest with his fist.
"Besides, I don't need a reward. The whole reason I want to help you is because I want to — for my own sake."
"I haven't done anything reward-worthy. As for the injuries, you've already paid the proper price."
She refused to budge from her stubborn stance.
Facing her unwavering resolve, Subaru gave a wry smile and prefaced his next words with "In that case": "I'll help you for my own sake, too. My objective is — let's see. That's right. To accumulate good deeds!"
"Good deeds?"
"Yep. When you die, if you've racked up enough good deeds, you get into heaven. And apparently, the life of decadent, lazy comfort I've always dreamed of is waiting for me there. So let me help you — for that purpose."
Even he had no idea what he was saying, but he'd said what he needed to say.
The girl regarded his earnest expression with a pensive frown. But the gray cat perched on her shoulder reached over and booped her cheek with its paw.
"I don't sense any ill will. I think you should accept the offer. Searching for a clueless thief with absolutely nothing to go on — given the sheer size of the
"But..."
"I think being stubborn can be charming, but being so stubborn that you lose sight of your goal is just foolish. And I, for one, don't want to think my daughter is a foolish girl."
The girl's eyebrows shot up at the little cat's provocative chiding.
After a few seconds of agonizing — "Ahhhh," "No," "But—" — all delivered in a strangely alluring register, she finally conceded: "...Fine. But I really, truly cannot offer you any kind of reward."
And with that, she took the hand Subaru had extended.