Having come this far, Subaru judged that any further detours would only worsen the impression.
Factoring in the danger of Elsa lurking nearby, he wanted to wrap up this deal right then and there. But contrary to his intentions,
She pressed a hand to her chest, where she presumably had the insignia stowed, and said: "How d'you know I've got the insignia? I didn't spill it to anyone besides the client, and I only just lifted it. You'd need ears bigger than a hawk's to eavesdrop on that."
"Now that you mention it, that's exactly right—I jumped the gun way too hard, I'm seriously careless!"
"...Maybe try hiding what you're thinking a bit better if you wanna get anywhere in a negotiation, yeah? You crumble way too easy just from getting poked a little, brother."
Sububar clutched his head in embarrassment over his slip of the tongue while Felt looked at him with an exasperated expression.
She crouched down to meet his eye level, then preceded her question with "So?"— "You wanna buy the insignia—what's that supposed to mean? You and that lady who hired me are different people, aren't you? Business rivals or something?"
"Business rivals, huh... I wouldn't say we're rivals, exactly—maybe? There's more I don't know than I do."
"Yeah, that tells me nothing. Well, whatever—the details don't really matter."
While Subaru racked his brain over how to talk his way out, she flashed a nonchalant grin. From inside her coat, she pulled out the insignia—a medallion shaped like a dragon.
The insignia gleamed in Felt's hand, its red gemstone catching the light. She dangled it in front of Subaru as if showing it off.
"As far as I'm concerned, all I need to do is sell it to whoever's willing to pay the highest price. The lady who hired me might get pretty pissed if the deal falls through, though."
"The chance she'd get pissed in a way that's absolutely terrifying is also a thing. No, wait—that's my problem to deal with."
Setting aside the prospect of a nightmarish fallout, Subaru cleared his throat and put on a serious face.
"So, you're in on the negotiation?"
"If there's a chance to make money, I'll listen to whatever. Goes without saying, right?"
"That's the spirit. ...I've got something here worth more than twenty Holy Gold Coins. With that, I want to buy your insignia."
Felt's white ear twitched, and her red pupils narrowed like a cat's. Her expression didn't change, but her tail was wagging furiously—almost endearing, really.
Maintaining that makeshift poker face with her arms crossed, she said: "Huh, nice. Pretty decent price, too. All my hard work finally paying off. ...But your 'business rival' probably offered around the same, didn't she?"
"You're full of it—she was dealing for ten Holy Gold Coins. Greed'll kill you. Seriously."
In fact, that was likely exactly what caused his first death. Cause of death: greed.
Probably realizing that Subaru had her pegged down to the exact number, Felt's eyes widened slightly before she scratched her head in resignation.
"...How d'you even know that. ...Yeah, fine, it was ten Holy Gold Coins. Though, once they hear there's a competing offer, they might go higher, y'know?"
"Bet that's a lie too?" Subaru said with a smirk. The apparent fourteen- or fifteen-year-old looked unbothered.
She's got nerve, he thought, a certain degree of admiration mixing with his frustration at that brazen attitude. He decided to press his advantage and keep the negotiations rolling.
"Telling you to just take my deal and be done with it—you're not gonna listen, are you?"
"Obviously. Besides, your whole thing from before was sketchy too. My ears don't miss things. You didn't say you had twenty Holy Gold Coins—you said you had something worth that much. You knowing all my cards while I only know one side, isn't that a little unfair as far as negotiations go?"
"I figure how many cards you can get your hands on before the negotiation is where real talent shows... But it's true, I can't judge without seeing what you've got either."
He couldn't afford to let time slip away while they went back and forth.
Having reached his conclusion, Subaru pulled the key negotiation item from his coat—his phone.
Felt only narrowed her eyes slightly at the appearance of the small device. She really was the type who showed no interest in things that didn't connect directly to money.
"That's supposed to be twenty Holy Gold Coins? Looks like a hand mirror or something to me."
"This is what's known in the world as a 'magical artifact.' It cuts out a moment of time and freezes it. Now then, take a good look—Natsuki Flash, eight-shot burst!"
He activated the continuous shutter function, and the mechanical sound of the shutter and the flash fired off in rapid succession.
White light split through the back alley, and Felt, bathed in the full glare, shrieked with an uncharacteristically girlish "Whoa!"
Pleased at her somewhat more normal reaction than last time, Subaru thrust the screen at the girl, who now wore a disgruntled look. Her red eyes went wide with surprise.
"This is the power of this 'magical artifact.' It can capture intricate images like this. And to toot my own horn a little—it's a one-of-a-kind treasure that exists nowhere else in the world. So, what do you say?"
As Subaru looked down at her with a smug grin, Felt went "Hmm, hmm," sniffing thoughtfully. She stared intently at the phone in his hand, examined it from every angle, then nodded with apparent satisfaction.
"...Doesn't look fake. But is this really about me? If you're gonna say it captures the world so beautifully, I'd say I'm way prettier than this."
"Raw material seems good, I'll give you that, but with this kind of over-the-top ornamentation, it's hard to say. ...Clean yourself up, put on some proper clothes, and you might actually pass for a real beauty."
"You're condescending AND your speech patterns are annoying... I seriously never wanna show you anything."
He'd managed to earn her undeserved enmity, but Felt seemed to be in a receptive mood overall.
Then again, her not being easily swayed by his bluster was part of what made the residents of the slums so resilient.
Felt shot Subaru a mischievous grin.
"Sure, I'll admit it's novel, but who knows how much money it's actually worth? Just so we're clear—I'm not the kind of empty-headed idiot who'd just swallow the other party's opinion whole and believe this is worth twenty Holy Gold Coins."
"...That's, well, obvious. I'd love it if you were as brainless as a sponge, but yeah, I do actually need a third party's opinion."
He'd hoped to sweep things along by pace and momentum alone, but he'd expected as much. The real problem was who this "good-faith third party" would be.
"There's a place deeper in the slums called the Loot House. It's exactly what the name says—there's a cantankerous old man there, and asking him would be the quickest route. He's got a sharp eye for goods, been around the block plenty. He'd know a 'magical artifact' when he saw one."
"Guess that's where this was heading, huh..."
And it had been predicted that Felt would suggest exactly that.
From her perspective, the Loot House was where she was meeting Elsa, and it was also a base with a bodyguard old man she could rely on if things turned violent.
When you factored in the appraising expertise needed for the "magical artifact," there really was no other option. But Subaru would've much preferred settling things before they got there.
"I've got zero objection to having that old man take a look..."
"You're calling him an old man when you've never even met him? You might regret it after you do. Turns out he's pretty scary to people with no manners."
"Meanwhile, you—this foul-mouthed brat—went and brought him milk like it was the most natural thing in the world..."
This was clearly tangential, but he suspected the old man had a bit of the doting-grandparent in him.
Anyway, the issue wasn't the person—it was the location.
"Can't you call him out here? Here, you can use my phone if you want."
"What am I supposed to do with a phone being shoved at me?"
"Right. Memory's got family members and that's about it."
What followed was a painfully sparse contact list padded out with the police, fire department, ambulance, time signal, and weather service. The loner vibes were so strong he couldn't help but grin smugly.
"I don't know what your deal is, but if you're in a hurry, let's just go to the Loot House. There was actually stuff I wanted to do along the way, though."
"Stuff you wanted to do?"
"Yeah, the owner's actually pretty stubborn, so I was thinking about some sabotage to make the escape harder. Spend a little cash and people around here are happy to do it for you—"
"Alright, let's go, let's go right now, let's move, let's get moving stat."
He pushed Felt's shoulder from behind and hurried her along the path to the Loot House.
"Hey, cut it out—" she pouted, cheeks puffed, but Subaru gave himself a mental pat on the back for cutting down unnecessary damage.
The hassle of chasing down the fake
"As long as he takes a look and we wrap this up quick, we're out the door before you can blink."
"Brother, why are you in such a rush? You're drenched in sweat. Live a little, would you?"
"Everyone in the slums says stuff like that—is it a motto or something?!"
Rather than "live strongly," he thought the intended message was probably "live shrewdly."
Leaving those musings behind, it was his third trip to the Loot House in his fourth world.
—He'd get out immediately. Sprint out this time. Even if he had to leave them behind.
Fueled by that resolve burning in his chest, Subaru gave the back before him a hard shove.
"Ow—!"
"Ow!"
He got kicked.
※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ "To the great rat—"
"Where do you even buy borax dumplings? That's poison."
"To the skeleton—"
"Digging one of those takes way more effort than you'd think. A pitfall trap."
"To our noble Dragon Lord—"
"It's a fantasy world, so they probably actually exist, but I guarantee you'd be completely useless in a face-to-face encounter. That said, it'd be romantic, and I do want to meet one. I can't lie to my own wishy-washy heart—though, I have to admit, I don't hate that about myself. Feeling like trash."
"You can't even say the password without adding useless preamble?! That's even more annoying!"
The door was kicked open from the inside, but Subaru, having anticipated it, leaped backward nimbly and took zero damage.
The one growling in frustration was the giant whose height didn't match the doorway—another familiar sight, the bald-headed Old
"You keep raising blood pressure like that and you'll burst a vein. Even with modern medicine, it's pretty dangerous."
"If you know it's bad for me, then stop making me angry! What do you want! We're clearing people out today—no entry! No entry! Get out of my sight!"
Old Rom stamped his foot on the ground like a child. But his look of smug satisfaction was wiped away by— "Oh, sorry. This one's my client too. Let us in, Old Rom."
Felt, who had been hiding behind Subaru's back.
She looked at the deflating Old Rom with pity, then glanced sideways at Subaru, who was blowing a whistle with an innocent look.
"You're seriously messed up. In the nicest possible way, you're the worst."
"There's something about you that just makes me want to mess with you. The type who really shines when they're being teased... I thought I'd discovered I was an M, but it turns out I had sadist tendencies all along too? I'm a switch-hitter!"
"Didn't ask and don't wanna ask, so I'm gonna go ahead and ignore that. Up we go, Old Rom."
Felt slipped past the slumping Old Rom and entered the Loot House as if it were the most natural thing in the world.
Old Rom turned a bewildered look at Subaru, who ignored his silent plea for an explanation. Subaru nodded at that weathered face.
"That's the thing about people who go at their own pace—real annoying for us normal folks. We just get left in the dust, you know?"
"Maybe I oughta start from scratch teaching you the meaning of words... Hurry up and get in."
With the air of someone who had given up on everything, Old Rom shrank his massive frame and retreated inside. Following in his wake, Subaru was welcomed by the dusty air of the Loot House.
He swept his gaze inside with a note of caution, but fortunately it didn't seem like Elsa or the fake Satella were lying in wait.
Felt was perched on the counter with all the ease of someone in their own home, help herself to someone else's milk. She noticed Subaru's gaze and said: "What? That's the last cold one. I'm not giving it up."
"You've got some real nerve, don't you. I'll take booze instead, old man."
"You're quite the shameless one yourself! I'm not sharing! I'm not sharing!"
The giant body shuffled across the floor, Old Rom rushing to protect the wooden crate that served as his wine cellar from Subaru's line of sight. The display of distress was almost pitiable, and Subaru let out a small laugh.
"Just kidding. So, that's where you keep the booze. Now that I know the location, it's as good as mine—"
"I heard that! Trying to steal from the master of the Loot House—have you no shame!?"
"Wow... I'm blushing. Besides, I won't do the stealing myself. I'll hire Felt."
"Sorry, Old Rom. If someone asks me, I can't really turn 'em down."
"Don't I have any allies here? Isn't this my house!?"
Deciding he'd pushed the old man's blood pressure far enough, Subaru called off the teasing.
Felt looked somewhat displeased, having seemed to get into the spirit of things, but Subaru greeted her with nothing more than a polite smile as he took a seat at the counter.
Settling onto the fixed chair, he wasted no time in getting down to business.
"So then, old man. Sorry for the detour, but I'd like to get to the main topic."
"The detour was pretty much self-inflicted, if you ask me... What is it?"
"What I'd like is an appraisal. I want you to put a price on this 'magical artifact' I've brought, and guarantee its value to Felt."
When the conversation turned to business, Old Rom's gray-tinged eyes took on a serious edge.
He looked to Felt for confirmation, and when she nodded, he turned his gaze back.
His eyes were practically asking for the appraisal piece, and Subaru pulled out the phone from his coat. The metallic appearance caught his interest first, and Old Rom ran his delicate fingers over the device—which looked like a toy in his oversized hands—with the care of a connoisseur.
"This is the magical artifact. Even I've never seen one before, though..."
"There's probably only one in the entire world. Also, it's a pretty delicate device, so handle with care. If you break it, I'd have to kill you. Seriously."
In the "start over" sense.
Old Rom studied the exterior intently, then slowly unfolded the flip phone. The startup chime prompted his first surprise, and the wallpaper image delivered the second.
"This picture..."
"Seemed like perfect timing, so I figured I'd use it. To show off what it can do, I set it to Felt's photo—her wallpaper."
The wallpaper was one of the pictures he'd taken of Felt earlier.
He'd picked the one that came out the cutest, and combined with the camera quality, it made for a pretty decent image.
Old Rom compared the image on the screen with Felt, who was slurping milk right beside him.
"I'm impressed. There's no one alive who could draw something this detailed."
"A magical artifact that cuts out a moment in time and seals it away. The beauty achievable through human hands alone is just something you can't match. If you want, I could take your picture too."
"Interested, but it does feel a bit scary. Could it take your life, something like that?"
"Guess that superstition about photos holds true in every era and every world..."
Old Rom's reaction was straight out of the pre-Taisho era. Nearby, Felt perked up at any mention of lifespan-related topics. Subaru reassured them both that "you can live a perfectly normal life to eighty even if you're photographed," then used the camera to take a picture of Old Rom.
The old man grunted "Mmm" when he saw the result.
Showing him this up close should be more than enough as a demonstration of the phone's capabilities. Besides, Old Rom's positive impression of it had already been verified through firsthand experience.
"I must say, this is genuinely impressive. If I were handling this, I could move it for no fewer than fifteen... no, twenty Holy Gold Coins. It's worth that much."
The craftsman's pride of a dealer had been stoked, and Old Rom's eyes were gleaming.
The profession of "a craftsman who moves stolen goods" was arguably one to be proud of—or maybe not—but his stamp of approval was undeniably reassuring.
Subaru turned to Felt, unable to suppress the smug grin spreading across his face.
"So there you have it—these are my cards. As I said, an item worth more than twenty Holy Gold Coins. I'm proposing a direct trade for your insignia."
"That face—makes me want to punch it every time I see it, honestly."
She clearly wasn't happy that things were going his way, judging by the displeased look on her face. But a deal that meant a warm nest egg wasn't something she could refuse.
Her eyes drifted to the phone resting in Old Rom's palm.
"Fine, the guarantee that it's actually worth something is nice. And I guess I can buy that it's worth twenty Holy Gold Coins. I understand your hand now."
"Right?! Then we've got a deal. Whether you can sell it well, that's up to you. Good luck! Now, I should be going, so if you'll excuse me—"
He hurried over to Felt, hand outstretched, asking for the insignia.
But his palm was gently pushed down from above.
Frowning, Subaru found Felt's face close enough to feel her breath.
"Hold on. Why are you in such a rush?"
"I'm not rushing or anything? And hey, don't get so close—"
"What's the matter? Get flustered when a girl's face is right in yours?"
"No, you haven't bathed in a few days, have you? There's this stinging, pungent smell—"
His chin was struck clean from below.
Subaru's head snapped back, tears forming at the sharp pain of biting his tongue.
"No mercy against a woman!?"
"You show no mercy either, always running your mouth! And you're already drawing blood!"
He'd split the inside of his mouth pretty badly, the iron taste triggering an unpleasant sensation.
Felt's face flushed red. She tucked a strand of her golden hair in front of her face as she said: "I'm not that smelly..."
"Nice try at deflection. I'm just someone who can't lie to himself."
Eyes still brimming with tears, he turned away, collapsing to his knees in an exaggerated display of pathetic weeping. His acting was so meticulous that Felt's annoyance crossed past the point of anger. She propped her forehead with one finger and took a deep breath.
"Fine, I'll wait. Let's go back to the topic. Calm down."
"Back to the topic, huh. Right. First things first—you should really clean up your sleeping area. There's way too much trash lying around, and just sleeping there lets the smell seep right into—"
"Can we move past the smell talk and go back ONE more step!?"
"You... kick... really fast... when you get flustered..."
Her front kick, thrown out of embarrassment, had caught his chin dead center while he was crouching. He hadn't bitten his tongue this time, but the impact reopened the wound that had already stopped bleeding.
"Swallowing too much blood makes you feel really awful, you know..."
"Then take it as a lesson and take my side of this conversation more seriously. Anyway—now that we've gone back to the topic, let me ask one more time: why are you in such a rush?"
Her expression had shed its anger, and she fixed him with a deliberately calm stare.
He tried looking to the silent Old Rom for help, but got nothing. Subaru shrugged in resignation.
"Life is finite. Cherishing every second, cutting out as much waste as possible—"
"Yeah, yeah, spare me that. But seriously..."
Felt cut him off before he could mumble his way into evasion.
Narrowing her red eyes, she finally went straight for the heart of the matter with a level tone.
"In the first place, why do you want this insignia so badly, brother?"