When I woke up, I was in bed in the mansion.
That was weird.
Yesterday, I was pretty sure I'd retreated into an alternate dimension and was sipping booze with some snacks.
Did I get drunk and somehow stumble back before passing out?
Losing your memory when you drink is a problem, but there's nothing to be done about it.
I could try to rapidly metabolize the alcohol or something, but if I did that, there'd be no point in drinking.
Liquor without alcohol can't be called liquor!
Well, if push came to shove, I could always pull memories from one of the split bodies scattered around the place, so no worries.
I haven't actually done that yet, though.
No wait—seeing what state I get in when I drink... that's kind of terrifying, isn't it?
I shook my head and checked how my body was feeling.
I don't get hangovers even when I drink, but you never know.
Mm, I'm in perfect shape today too.
I could even swear my skin looks a little better.
See? Drinking really is good for your health.
I left the room and headed to the dining hall to grab some breakfast.
The vampire girl and the little demon were already seated before me.
"Good morning."
"G-good morning."
The little demon greeted me politely, while the vampire girl responded with a strained expression—but she still managed a greeting. We'd run into this kind of attitude from her every now and then while traveling too, but are vampires really that useless in the morning?
"Mm."
Better than saying nothing, I gave a short reply.
I sat down in the seat next to the vampire girl.
Why is her back ramrod straight all of a sudden?
"Um."
Hmm?
"I think we should stop doing things like yesterday."
The little demon said that in an accusatory tone.
Huh?
Yesterday?
What did I do yesterday?
I glanced toward the vampire girl.
Not that we could make eye contact, given that her eyes were still clamped shut.
She was staring at the little demon with an expression of utter disbelief.
Huh?
What's going on?
What happened yesterday?
"
Drunk.
Get drunk.
Urgent request to all split bodies in the mansion!
Send me the memories of what my main body did while drunk yesterday!
The split bodies lurking around the mansion quietly began transmitting their memories.
I reviewed the received memories in order and found the relevant section.
Pfft!?!
What the hell is this?!
Hey! Hey, past me!
What do you think you're doing?!
This isn't some cute little drinking-and-flirting situation!
I caught a glimpse of something truly horrifying!
Nope.
No way.
Nope nope nope.
Looking at my drunk self from an objective perspective... nope.
I lunged at the vampire girl, and when the little demon tried to stop me, I blasted him with a freezing evil eye.
Doing whatever the hell I wanted.
Also, I can be that fluent when I put my mind to it?!
Ah, right.
Now's not the time for escapism.
What do I do about this?
I turned my face toward the vampire girl.
She deftly dodged while still sitting in her chair—somehow pulling off that little feat.
Ah, yeah.
"I'm sorry."
Yeah.
No but really, vampire girl.
Why are you looking at me with disbelief and trembling like that?
I do apologize when I do something wrong, you know?
I'm going to seal away the booze for a little while.
I'll only drink where D is present.
Oh wait, that's kind of scary too.
I'll just stay sober for a while.
Kuugh, it's rough, but I have no choice.
When I looked back at the little demon, he was looking visibly relieved.
Maybe it took everything he had to give me that warning.
Well, after seeing what I did yesterday, it's no surprise he'd think I wouldn't listen to reason.
Never imagined booze had this kind of pitfall.
Truly fearsome.
"Master. Are you really the real Master?"
The vampire girl started saying something weird.
I wanted to quip, "If I'm not the real one, then who am I?"
"Do you have a fever? Did you eat something weird? Did your brain break?"
Hey, hey.
What kind of character do you think I am in your head?
I shut her up with a chop to the head because she was getting annoying.
"Ow!?! That's a little harsh, isn't it?! I'm worried about you and you're just gonna do that?!"
"Well, honestly, I think the harsh one here is Sophia-san."
The little demon calmly called out the vampire girl's complaint.
Mm mm.
I already apologized—there's no reason for all this commotion.
Unlike some evil god, I'm perfectly capable of reasoning.
I'm different from D! Different from D!
"But you're Master, aren't you? The embodiment of utter villainy! The kind of Master who makes you want to ask 'Which hell did you crawl out of?' because of how much you love slaughter and human flesh!"
The way the vampire girl sees me—as some kind of supreme overlord of evil.
Huh?
That much?
My image was that messed up?
Ah... um...
Now that I think about it, I did go on a rampage during the war that destroyed her homeland, and come to think of it, I did some stir-fried elf right in front of her after that.
No wait—before even that, given the way she talks, yesterday might not have been my first offense!
That would explain everything.
It all adds up.
This is bad!
So in the vampire girl's mind, I was already certified as a man-eating yokai who feasts on human flesh every night?!
She's not entirely wrong, so I can't even argue!
"Well, aren't you exaggerating a little?"
"It's all true, though."
"Huh?"
The little demon looked over at me, visibly shocked.
Stop it!
Don't look at me with those eyes!
I quickly turned my face away.
D: "I detected some spider somewhere badmouthing me, so I'm heading out to rough them up."
Underworld: "You think I'd let you leave? Get back to work."