When I stepped outside, I was struck speechless by how much snow had accumulated. During winter I'm basically a shut-in, so I almost never go outside. Seeing the snow piled higher than my own height, I couldn't help but stare blankly.
The narrow alley leading to the main street had been shoveled, creating a path just wide enough for people to pass through, but the snow piled up on either side looked like it could topple over at any moment.
"
My father crouched down and spread his arms, so I obediently let him lift me up and clung to his neck. If I tried walking through this snow myself, there was no way he'd make it to the Gate by the time his shift started.
Once my father picked me up, my head was above the snow. When the cold wind blew, the expanse of glittering white stretched out before us, rippling like the sea.
"Do you shovel the main street too, Dad?"
"So the nobles' carriages can get through."
"...They really don't need to be moving around in weather like this."
With this much snow on the ground, I'd expected the main street to be nearly empty, but there were far more people hurrying along than I'd anticipated.
"There are so many people out despite all this snow."
"Probably because the blizzard finally let up for a bit. When it's actually snowing, even fewer people come out."
As we talked, snowflakes began to drift down again, and my father picked up his pace.
"It's starting to snow. Hang on tight, Myne!"
"Kyaa! I'm gonna fall!"
In the midst of all my flailing, we arrived at the Gate. After we both brushed the snow off each other, we headed straight for the guardroom.
I gave a light knock and opened the door to find
"Otto, I've brought your long-awaited assistant. Clear the way in front of the fire."
"Thanks, Squad Leader! I've been waiting for you, Myne."
Otto hastily cleared space on the desk for me to work, sweeping documents aside. Judging by the enormous grin on his face, he must have been buried under a mountain of work.
I took my slate and stone stylus out of my tote bag and climbed up onto the slightly-too-tall chair.
"All right, Myne. I need you to check whether the calculations for this department are correct."
"Okay."
It looked like we wouldn't get to any consultation until I cleared this mountain first. Eyeing the hefty stack of documents, I picked up my stone stylus.
For a while, we worked in silence. The only sounds were Otto's fingers clicking across his calculator and my stone stylus scratching across the slate.
After a few knocks on the door, a young soldier entered.
"Pardon the intrusion. I have a question for Otto..."
"Myne, he's got a question for you."
Without looking up from his calculator and documents, Otto pointed me out.
"Huh? Me? Hold on, let me just finish this calculation..."
I completed my handwritten calculation, marked it as verified, and looked up.
The young soldier glanced between Otto and me as we wielded our respective calculators with terrifying intensity, then let out a soft sigh and pulled out a piece of parchment.
"Here, please take a look."
"What is it? ...Oh, it's a letter of introduction from a noble. Is the Captain in right now?"
"No, he was on night shift today, I think..."
"Then get the department chief's seal and arrange for them to head to the City Wall as soon as possible. After a long journey through this much snow, even the normally mild-mannered nobles can get pretty irritable, so process it quickly."
"Yes, sir!"
"If there's any wait, have them step into the warming room by the fire right away and offer them some hot tea."
"Understood."
The young soldier saluted and dashed out of the room. I returned the salute and got back to my calculations.
"You've really gotten the hang of this."
Otto said without pausing his own work. I answered while still moving my stone stylus.
"The procedures are the same, after all."
Gate work was basically bureaucratic work. The fundamental procedures were all the same. Once you memorized the manual, you could handle just about anything short of an extreme exception.
After calculating for a while, I was starting to get tired. I gathered up the completed checks and stretched my back with a big "Mmm~," and it seemed Otto had reached a stopping point too, as he began gathering his documents.
"I'm getting tired after all. Want to take a break?"
"Sure."
Otto went and got us some hot tea from the cafeteria. Sipping it slowly, I finally brought up what I'd come to consult him about.
"...So while we were having that conversation, Mother said: 'Being an apprentice isn't so cushy that you can look after Myne at the same time and still get your work done. You'll end up halfhearted at both.'"
Otto nodded as though this were the most obvious thing in the world.
"She's absolutely right. An apprentice who isn't even half a worker trying to look after someone else... that's just asking for half-baked results. If
"...That's what I figured."
Right now, Lutz wasn't an apprentice yet, so he didn't have any actual shop work to do and was just bringing in products. That was why he could stay by my side and watch my condition while we worked together.
But once he became an apprentice and started doing real work, there was no way he could spare the time to worry about my health. I couldn't possibly burden him with that.
As I pondered what to do, Otto fixed me with a quiet gaze and asked: "Hey, Myne. Are you seriously planning to become a merchant?"
"That's the plan for now. I've got a few things in mind that could potentially become products..."
Since you couldn't buy or sell without belonging to the commercial guild, my getting involved in trade was a foregone conclusion.
"Setting aside the buying and selling of products, I think you'd be better off not joining
My apprenticeship had been decided by Benno. Right now I was feeling anxious about working, and I wanted to know why Otto thought I should avoid Benno's shop.
"Why is that?"
"That shop is growing at breakneck speed. Everyone there is working themselves to the bone. It's far too demanding — I don't think you could handle it with your stamina."
The reason he gave with a casual shrug was exactly what I'd been worried about, and something Benno had pointed out to me the other day too.
"...Actually, Benno said the same thing. Whether I could really handle the work."
"There are jobs that are nothing but calculations or document checks, but merchant work comes with deadlines too, so it's hard to entrust to someone whose health could fail at any moment."
"That's true."
I understood that Benno was thinking about how to commercialize my information and turn a profit, which was why he didn't want to send me to another shop. But when I thought about actually working in a shop, my lack of stamina and physical strength would be fatal.
An employee whose health was so uncertain that you couldn't be sure she'd show up to work every day would never get hired, even in
"This is going to be some blunt advice that probably isn't something you'd normally say to a child, but do you want to hear it?"
Otto tilted his head slightly, carefully watching for my reaction. The whole reason I'd come to Otto was because I wanted an objective opinion — something the overprotective people around me would never give me.
Bracing myself under the desk by clenching both fists tight, I slowly nodded.
"Please, tell me."
"The biggest reason I think you shouldn't join the shop is the interpersonal dynamics. It'll wreck the relationships inside the shop. A brand-new apprentice who's constantly calling in sick and only doing the easy, light work — no matter how you look at it, that's just going to breed resentment among the other staff."
"...Yes."
Even if I was the one with the physical problems, watching that kind of favoritism play out wouldn't be pleasant, and even if it didn't surface right away, it would definitely become an issue.
I'd been so focused on securing Lutz's employment that I hadn't really thought through what would happen after I became an apprentice myself.
"And then there's the salary issue."
"Huh? Salary?"
This was something I hadn't considered at all until now, and the word came out in a strange pitch.
Otto let out a light sigh at my confusion.
"There's no way they'd pay someone who's obviously going to bring massive profits to the shop the same amount as a regular apprentice, right?"
"I think the base salary would be the same, and the profits from the products would be paid out separately."
I'd signed a contract to forgo the profits from paper to secure my position, but I planned to take my full share of profits from any products after that. I had no intention of giving away all my information for free.
"Even if the profits are paid separately, you'd end up with a brand-new apprentice making more than a veteran who's been there for over a decade. Honestly, it'd be a real headache."
"Ughhh..."
Money really does make interpersonal relationships messy. Otto's point was spot-on. And when relationships broke down, it raised the odds of the shop itself falling apart. In the end, what made a shop run was its people.
"Looking at it from every angle, I really shouldn't be in the shop."
Every single one of Otto's points was completely valid, leaving no room for rebuttal. I was starting to feel that joining Benno's shop as an apprentice would only sow the seeds of discord.
"Oh, and there's one more thing I'm concerned about."
"What is it?"
After having all these points laid out before me, I was in the "bring it on" mood and urged him to continue.
Leaning in slightly and lowering his voice, Otto opened his mouth.
"So, Myne, your illness — it's Self-Eating, isn't it?"
"Otto, you knew?"
My eyes went wide in shock, but Otto shook his head in denial.
"No, I didn't know for sure. But Benno had mentioned it as a possibility. What confirmed it was when Corina asked me, 'Have you ever heard of a disease called Self-Eating?'"
"Corina?"
"Apparently Benno — who'd been unusually rattled the other day — had told her about it. He said someone had shown symptoms of Self-Eating and collapsed in the shop, nearly dying? The Squad Leader was a wreck for those few days. Between what Corina told me and the Squad Leader's behavior, I figured the one who collapsed from Self-Eating was you."
"...I'm sorry for all the worry and trouble I caused during that time."
The story had apparently spread far wider than I'd expected. I'd collapsed at Benno's shop and been carried to the Guild Master's house, so it must have attracted quite a bit of attention.
"The Squad Leader thinks you've been cured, but from what Benno told me, Self-Eating can't actually be cured, right?"
"...Yes."
The Magical Tool had reduced the Self-Eating fever, but it would keep building up again. Frieda had told me it would take about a year before it reached the brink of overflow once more.
"Have you told the Squad Leader that it can't be cured?"
"Not yet. It's hard to tell my family when they're so happy that I've been cured..."
The price of the Magical Tool, the deadline on my life — there were so many things that were difficult to talk about, and I'd been deflecting any mention of Self-Eating whenever it came up. I myself barely understood anything beyond the fact that the strange heat in my body would keep growing on its own until it overflowed and killed me, which made it even harder to discuss in detail.
Otto slowly shook his head with a grave expression.
"You need to report to him properly. The Squad Leader thinks you're cured, so he probably believes it's fine for you to take on work too. You should get him to understand the actual situation and consult with him about work at the same time. If you act without being upfront, you'll end up causing problems all over the place."
"I understand."
Having spent my life acting on impulse and dragging those around me into one mess after another, all I could do was accept Otto's words with solemn respect.
"Also, if you need Magical Tools to survive and want to make connections with the nobility, you'd be better off going to the Guild Master's shop. Benno's shop is big, but it's still new. No matter how hard Benno works, history and tradition carry weight — they don't just flip overnight."
"That may be true, but..."
When I hedged, Otto raised an eyebrow.
"Is there some reason you specifically need Benno's shop?"
"It's not that I'd be in trouble without Benno's shop, but I just can't handle the Guild Master. The way he pushes people around and does business..."
Being pushy might be a necessary quality for a merchant, but I just couldn't warm up to someone who'd lowball the price of a Magical Tool my life depended on and try to deceive me. I was grateful to him, but I didn't want to get any closer.
"Benno's the same way, isn't he?"
"Well, Benno can be pushy too, and he's greedy for money, and he's always testing people. But with him, I can tell he's trying to point out my weaknesses and help me grow."
"Hm."
I held my breath at the smirk spreading across Otto's face. This conversation was definitely going to get back to Benno.
"Besides, I still haven't decided whether I want to live as a noble's kept pet."
I'd only just begun wanting to live together with my family, and I couldn't see myself wanting to survive even if it meant being kept and controlled by nobles whose treatment I couldn't predict.
As Frieda had put it: if it came down to living with my family and growing old together, or surviving as a noble's prisoner — right now, I would choose my family.
"First, you need to decide how you want to live — nothing else can be discussed until then. If you're not joining a shop to seek noble connections, then you should seriously consider alternatives to entering one. Honestly, if you're the one doing the thinking and Lutz is the one producing, then as long as you sort out the rights and profit-sharing properly, I don't think you need to enter the shop at all."
I nodded vigorously at Otto's words. It was true — I'd only been thinking about working together side by side, but if all I needed to do was think, maybe I didn't have to enter the shop at all.
Seeing me nod quietly in understanding, Otto flashed a smile so bright it was almost suspicious.
"How about this: you stay home and do work you can handle at your own pace — letters, copying documents, that sort of thing — and focus purely on product development? Sell the products to Benno, and when you're feeling well, come help out here. Keeping your lifestyle basically the same as it is now would be much better for your health."
"...I'll think about it."
Maintaining the status quo was probably best for my body, but I was dying to know what that suspicious smile really meant.
"Well, you should have a good talk with your family about it."
"I will."
"All right, break time's over. Shall we get back to work?"
Otto cleared away our cups, and I pulled out my slate and began checking for calculation errors with handwritten calculations, the stone stylus scratching away.
Talking to the family... Right. If Dad found out I had only about a year left to live, he'd probably lose his mind. That thought terrified me.
"Myne, time to go."
By the time my father came to pick me up after finishing his shift, I'd calculated so much that my head was spinning. Even with my eyes closed, numbers kept popping up one after another.
"You really saved me, Myne."
Despite using his calculator the entire time, Otto was full of energy, and I couldn't help but think that even purely desk work might be too much for me.
"Aren't you cold, Dad?"
On the way home as the wind kicked up a light blizzard, my father was carrying me AND wearing a coat, so while I was warm, I worried he might be freezing.
But my father just smiled and shook his head.
"As long as I've got Myne, I'm not cold. If anything, I'm warm."
"Is that so."
What kind of reaction would my family-loving, daughter-doting father have if I told him about Self-Eating? I had a feeling this smile would freeze right off his face.
I was scared, but this was a conversation I couldn't avoid any longer.
"What's wrong, Myne? You look kind of down."
"...Dad, I need to talk to you. About my illness."
With just those words, my father's smile and his very steps froze. His jaw tightened, and he peered down at me with an intensity I had never seen on his face before.
After averting his gaze for just a moment, my father walked briskly onward, as though fleeing from something.
"Let's talk about it when we get home. With your mother there too."
"Okay."
Sensing something — I don't know what — my father's arms tightened around me, as though he were afraid I might slip away.
Author's Note: I really don't think Myne can handle actual work, you know. Otto pushed the status quo with that suspicious smile of his. Next time: A talk with the family about Self-Eating.