A suffocating scent of old books filled the enclosed room.
Stepping through the opened door, Subaru stood agape, his senses assaulted by the musty smell and the visual information flooding in—only half a step too late did he realize that the floor beneath his feet was not where he had intended to be.
And that delay in comprehension gave rise to a fatal one.
"The Forbidden Library...!?"
The very place he had searched for, wandering the entire estate, yet never managed to find—he had arrived there at last. At an unwanted moment, through an unexpected chance, and in the void that tore open in Subaru's heart, the time between that moment and the door slamming shut behind him was stolen entirely.
"————!"
As though caught by a gust from outside, Subaru's body was drawn into the library as if swallowed whole. The door slammed shut with equal force, stirring a breeze that nipped at the nape of his neck.
Startled by the violent sound, he spun around, confirmed that the door now separated the hallway from the room, and understood— The meaning of the Forbidden Library having opened here, and the door having closed.
"O-Open it—!!"
He reached for the doorknob, but his right arm—no longer in the shape of an arm—refused to cooperate, and he fumbled to extend his left instead. His blood-slicked fingertips gripped the knob with a wet sound and twisted, but for some reason the turning handle refused to convey its intent to the door. It spun uselessly, making a harsh grinding noise that only fueled Subaru's frustration.
"No matter how hard you struggle, it's futile."
The voice came from behind Subaru as he fought desperately with the door.
He recoiled and spun around, his back pressed against the door, and looked straight ahead—at the girl who had appeared from deep within the library, her face turned toward him with cold indifference.
Cream-colored long curly hair, a luxurious and dazzling dress. A small frame, a face that was adorable yet irritatingly smug. Every last detail was the same as the girl Subaru knew.
"
"My, what a sorry state you're in. You'll dirty the library floor, so try not to move around too much..."
"Open the door! Right now! Let me out!!"
Ignoring every word from her as she examined his wounds with that detached expression, Subaru screamed at her, heedless of her warning not to drip blood, waving his right arm—which continued to bleed miserably— "Why d-did you show your face now of all times!? Wh-when!? N-now!? Go back! Quickly! Now! R-right away!!"
"And what exactly would going back accomplish? With those pathetic wounds, Betty can't imagine what you think you could possibly do."
"Whether it does anything or not, I know that better than anyone!! But even so!!"
He didn't wish to return to that place to face Elsa. He wanted to enter the room he was supposed to have entered, go to the side of the girl sleeping there, and then— "If I entered the library and the 'Door Crossing' happened... that murderer would be in the room..."
If that happened, the lunatic would tilt her head in confusion at Subaru's disappearance. But before she would go searching for the vanished Subaru throughout the estate, she would find the single girl sleeping in that room first. And how that indiscriminate killer would handle a girl baring her sleeping face without any defense—that went without saying.
"Then—!"
"It's already too late."
Subaru raised his voice in a roar as though trying to shake off the dread surging through him. And at that moment, the girl's anguished whisper struck him without warning.
The sight of Beatrice with her eyes cast down, shaking her head ever so slightly, froze Subaru for a single heartbeat. Then his brain replayed the words she had spoken, and his thoughts ground to a halt.
What had this girl just said?
"Too late... What do you mean..."
"The reason you want to go back to that room has just disappeared, I suppose."
"————"
In response to Subaru's faltering question, Beatrice answered flatly.
His throat seized up, his eyes went impossibly wide, and before he knew it, Subaru had collapsed to his knees. His shoulders slumped, his head hung low, and a terrible ringing echoed inside his skull.
Pain—pain—forgotten pain surged back, and noise began to erode Subaru's consciousness. Everything was being stirred up and swept away by that static, and he honestly wished it would just disappear. He didn't want to understand anything. He didn't want to notice. And yet— "Shall I look at your wounds? They're ghastly—I can hardly bear to look."
The girl who had approached knelt down, noticed the wounds on Subaru's right arm, his left side, and his right shoulder as he sat slumped on the ground, and grimaced. A faint glow enveloped her palms, and light was first directed at his most severely damaged right arm. Where the arm had been ceaselessly crying out with nothing but heat, a sensation like itching now ran through it, and with a soft, wet sound, the revival of muscle tissue began.
First the bleeding stopped, and then gradually—gradually—a membrane spread over the surface of the wound in response to the glow, while cells promoting recovery filled in the portions that had been stripped away. However— "Restoring it to its original thickness will take time, and most importantly, the fingers you lost won't come back. The wounds to your waist and right shoulder as well."
"...What... are you doing?"
A voice devoid of emotion leaked from Subaru's lips in a faint, hoarse murmur.
Beatrice, who had been focused on treating his wounds, furrowed her brow at the sound of his voice and held out her healing palms where Subaru could see them— "Reluctantly, but without choice, I'm treating your wounds. In this estate, only Betty can heal injuries this severe. You should be grateful."
"Treat... my wounds...? What for..."
"If left untreated, these wounds would be life-threatening. It's not as though I particularly care whether you live or die, but I'd rather you not drop dead here."
Beatrice shut one eye, dismissing Subaru's words as the delirious rambling of a wounded man, and curtly turned back to continue healing. But— "————!"
"Ah!"
While feeling the certainty of healing waves filling in his wounds, Subaru still shook off the injured arm, eliciting a small gasp of surprise from Beatrice.
Then, forcing his trembling legs into motion, he rolled sideways, thoroughly staining the floor of the Forbidden Library as he put distance between himself and the girl. He fixed her with a look so hauntingly fierce it could have been called demonic.
He exhaled raggedly, and in that motion, the stake jammed into his hip fell to the floor with a high-pitched clang. There was a sound like trapped water draining, and blood gushed from that wound too. It ran down his thigh, forming a river of blood across the floor where he knelt. Bearing his teeth at Beatrice, who watched the spectacle with bated breath— "I don't need my wounds healed...! Whether I live or die has nothing to do with you... So why are you trying to save me!?"
"Because... you're so pathetic I can't bear to look..."
"Why... why me!? If you were willing to help, if you felt that way and moved to action, then why couldn't you save Petra... Frederica!? With this power of yours, even if you couldn't fight, just running away... there should have been something you could do...!"
With the 'Door Crossing' that severed the connection between the outside and the room, she could have even eluded that relentless pursuer, Elsa. If applied creatively, there was no better ability specialized for escape. Petra, who had been too slow to flee; Frederica, who had gone to buy time; and
"Why would Betty do such a thing... Betty has no reason to save those three you mentioned. I don't know. I couldn't care less about that."
"Then...! You have no reason to save me either, do you!?"
Beatrice shook her head in refusal, denying Subaru's plea. Layering denial upon her denial, Subaru struck the floor with his half-healed right arm— "Why did you save me!? Why did you rescue me!? Was it a whim? Then why only me—what's the difference between me and those three!? Rem was always such a good person, Frederica had things she wanted to do... Petra was still so young... All of them had far more... reason to live... more value... than me!"
"Value? Reason? Why should Betty have to respect such after-the-fact self-satisfaction? You're far too full of yourself, human!"
"Then what about your inconsistent behavior!? You won't even show your face when I've been searching everywhere for you, but now of all times—when things are dangerous—you decide to show up!! If you can't find value in me or in any of them... you'd have been better off staying locked up alone in this place the whole time!!"
Why had she shown her face now, when everything was already too late?
She could have remained completely hidden, to the point he wouldn't have even known she was there. But if Elsa noticed the change that had occurred in Subaru, there was no guarantee Beatrice's existence wouldn't be exposed.
If that happened, even this girl might face a future where she was cut down by that lethal blade. Risking that danger, why had she invited this half-dead, half-alive Subaru inside?
Why had she decided to save someone who had given up on living and wished only to die?
"Whether it's a whim or whatever else... if you have any intention of saving me... if even the slightest shred of desire to help me remains... then right now... kill me... please..."
"What... are you trying to say..."
"Right now! Kill me! Before everything gets overwritten, before this moment where I lose everything becomes set in stone! Kill me! Kill me! Kill me!!"
Spitting, coughing blood, clawing at the floor with his missing right hand and his remaining left, Subaru screamed his desperate plea.
Before the meaning of his existence was stripped away entirely, before this future where merely breathing and persisting pointlessly would bring a point of no return— He screamed for this useless, utterly incompetent, powerless mass of nothing to be ended.
But Beatrice did not accept that scream from the depths of his soul, that desperate plea.
She shook her head, her expression clouded with confusion and revulsion— "I don't understand—I don't understand. I can't understand a human like you. Why would you... with your life right here in front of you, why would you say something like that?"
"Saving a life isn't the only kind of saving, is it!? Having this life right now is pain for me! It shouldn't be here, I shouldn't be here... If you're telling me you won't help me..."
Without relying on anyone else, he would end this wretched time with his own hands right now— Seeing the resolve hardening in Subaru's gaze, Beatrice let out a thin "Ah." Hearing that, Subaru unhesitatingly extended his tongue from his mouth— "————!"
And bit down with all his might, tearing it apart, committing the act of self-destruction.
Agony. Not from his right arm, not from his hip or shoulder—a pain of an entirely different magnitude. No matter how many times one experienced it, no tolerance for pain could ever be developed. Every wound that arose, every pain that emanated—each was something different, something new, something agonizing, something unbearable, something one could never grow accustomed to. Pain, at any time, in any place, behaved with perfect equality as nothing more than pain.
Blood flooded his mouth, and Subaru's eyes rolled back as he collapsed on the spot.
He fell, his vision spinning, his limbs trembling as convulsions began. Pain—his breathing stopped. The severed tongue lodged in his throat, plunging him into respiratory distress.
"—What are you doing?!"
It was not the kind of wound that killed instantly. Sharp yet dull pain pierced through his brain in intermittent stabs, his limbs wouldn't stop trembling, and tears of blood streaked down his cheeks in agony. His tongue, limp and half-torn, hung from the corner of his lip—a testament to Subaru's lack of resolve even in committing suicide.
In this otherworld, this was the third time Subaru had chosen to take his own life.
The first time was during a loop in the estate, a resolute suicide undertaken to reclaim something that could not otherwise be recovered.
The second time was at the end of a loop originating in the capital, when he had learned that Rem's existence had been lost. In a daze, he had driven a knife through his throat—but nothing changed.
And the third act of self-destruction—there was no guarantee he could return, but Subaru could not continue living through this time. It was too heavy. It was impossible. Then even if it meant gambling on the slimmest of chances, in order to reclaim what had been lost— "...Don't. Don't leave me behind..."
A trembling voice called to Subaru from somewhere in the world that was growing distant.
Even that voice grew distant, more distant, and then faded away— * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * When Subaru opened his eyes, the first thing that struck his nostrils was a musty, dusty scent.
"Hnn...?"
As consciousness returned, Subaru kept his eyelids closed and shook his head, processing the fact that he had awakened.
His body lay on its side on the floor. As the sensation of cold ground seeped through him, he faintly recalled that his restart point was inside the tomb.
He sat up and opened his eyes in the dim surroundings to look around. His vision was still hazy so soon after waking—blurred with tears, unable to make out what he was searching for.
Still, it seemed that 'Return by Death' had worked once again, and he felt a measure of relief. If he had returned to the tomb, then his restart point hadn't changed.
Inside the tomb's 'Trial' room, the timeline should be right after Subaru had overcome the 'Trial' and returned.
"My head hurts..."
Rubbing the space between his brows and lightly shaking his head, Subaru's mind raced to sort through the situation.
Even though there were countless things he needed to think about, the last loop had only added more. Not a single proper solution came to mind. Even the light he thought he'd glimpsed now felt like a lure drawing him into yet another trap.
He felt as though, having tried to detour around a pitfall of despair, he had fallen into a different one entirely.
"An especially nasty one, too—the kind with a bed of nails thrown in for good measure..."
As a metaphor meaning "lethal," it wasn't wrong.
The
Problems piled on so thick his head felt like it would boil over, but the very fact that he'd been given the chance to agonize over them was already a blessing.
There had been moments when he couldn't help but feel resignation, thinking he might end here. Just being able to break free of that was salvation enough— "Having to face Emilia again pretending nothing happened will be tough, but—"
As he spoke, Subaru noticed his previously hazy vision beginning to clear. He sniffed at the musty air—he needed to find Emilia first.
Thinking this, he lightly raised his right hand to his forehead like a visor, and finally noticed— The fact that three fingers were missing from his right hand.
"N—!? Ah!?"
Finding a wound that should not exist, a wound that could not carry over, Subaru's throat groaned with shock. And as his trembling eyes took in the world around him, he was finally confronted with the fact that he had been living in a world far too convenient for himself.
Cold floor, dry stone walls. A stale, moldy smell. The tomb space Subaru had expected. But in reality, what lay before him was a corner of a library lined with bookshelves heavy with tomes, a room permeated by the peculiar scent of aged parchment— "The Forbidden Library... how... why..."
The baffling fact that his body was still in a place he thought he'd said goodbye to. And assuming the worst, Subaru first checked his own body.
The worst possibility—that was the possibility that the moment Subaru had stepped into the Forbidden Library, the world's loop had been fixed in place.
With an expression that couldn't hide his horror, Subaru stared at the right arm he had raised to his face. Three missing fingers, and a right arm that had lost a third of its thickness compared to the left. But the wounds on that arm were already closed—the warped bulges of flesh and discoloration told him that his body was regenerating.
The stake wounds in his hip and right shoulder showed no significant external injuries either—only a sensation of tight skin and the occasional twinge of discomfort remained.
At the very least, this was not the state he'd been in the moment he had entered the Forbidden Library. If that was the case, the only remaining possibility through process of elimination was— "So you've finally awakened."
It was the voice that Subaru, having just realized the truth, least wanted to hear right now.
A soprano that was nonchalant, as though bored with the world—yet unable to banish its concern entirely, as though searching for connection.
Still sitting on the floor, Subaru turned his head.
Behind him, desperately wishing for the illusion that a silver-haired girl might be there. As if to shatter that illusion, a girl in a dress sat upon a wooden stepladder.
In the same state as before he had lost consciousness, Beatrice held a book in her hands and looked down at Subaru.
An unconsciously breathless sound escaped him. Before Subaru, she snapped the book shut with a crisp sound, slowly descended from the stepladder, and— "Because of your foolish behavior, I've truly been put through the trouble. The wounds on your arm, your shoulder, your waist, your tongue—I healed them all at once. There should be no inconvenience."
"............"
"Speechless at the fact that your life was saved, I suppose? Well, at least let this teach you not to do anything so foolish again..."
"Do you... have any idea what you've done?"
"...Hah?"
While laying down words that sounded as if she were claiming a favor, Beatrice had been drawing closer to the silent Subaru. The moment he hurled his choked voice at her and she winced— "————!"
He rose to his feet, grabbed Beatrice's ornately decorated dress with his extended left arm, pulled the gasping girl close, and pressed his face against hers— "Who asked you to save me—I never asked for that!!"
"————Ah."
"Do you understand what you've done!? Because of you, everything is ruined! Everything—everything that could have been fixed is ruined because of you! Why didn't you just let me die!? I survive, and then what... what's supposed to happen!? Tell me!?"
Literally, by using his life without hesitation, Subaru was supposed to have earned the right to start over.
But that had been cut short by the girl before his eyes, and it was not to be. All that remained in Subaru's hands was an ineffable sense of loss and an endless fury toward Beatrice.
"You saved me on a whim, healed my wounds too... and that satisfies you? You want me to be grateful!? Yeah, thanks a lot! My life is saved! Everything except my life—everything I threw away—but at least my life is saved!"
"B-Betty was just... just..."
"What now!? Don't tell me you expect a thank-you!? Go on, keep making that smug face like you always do, looking down at me like it's the most natural thing in the world. That's what you're good at, right? That's what you like, isn't it—looking down on humans and giggling about it—"
With every ounce of hatred, his cheeks twisted into an ugly grin as Subaru hurled his torrent of abuse at Beatrice. He was behaving wretchedly, trying to fill the dissatisfaction, disappointment, and loss that surged through his heart. But then, his tirade suddenly cut off.
"—Ngh."
"Ah..."
Because he saw large tears spilling from the eyes of the girl he had grabbed and pulled close.
The instant he saw that, the blood that had rushed to his head drained away, and he became terrified of the ugly, malicious words he had spewed.
His loosened fingers released Beatrice's body from their grip, and the girl stumbled backward as though shoved, colliding with the bookshelf behind her before sinking to her knees.
A violent wave of nausea surged up. Becoming conscious of what he had said, he could no longer endure his own ugliness.
Ugly. Twisted. What else was it but taking out his frustrations on someone? From Beatrice—who knew nothing of 'Return by Death'—she had only healed the wounds of a Subaru on the brink of death. If anything, she should be thanked as a lifesaver—there was no justification whatsoever for being hurled abuse at.
He understood that rationally. But his emotions refused to acknowledge it. Tossed about by the two warring extremes inside him, Subaru still raised his face, knowing he had to say something to the collapsed Beatrice— "Wait... no, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say that... it's not your fault..."
If anyone was to blame, it was Subaru himself—without question.
He had known what would happen, yet had walked unguardedly into a tiger's den and trod on its tail. He had made the people around him pay the consequences, yet complained that he alone had no reason to be blamed—that was arrogance of the highest order.
Emotionally, he did feel an urge to hold her accountable—she who had been short on information. There was an unpalatable feeling about the fact that she had hidden from Subaru, yet chose to show herself at that one moment.
But that was, at the very least, no license for Subaru to loudly condemn her.
"I'm sorry. Thank you for healing my wounds. But I'm going to immediately..."
He had to at least disappear from her sight and choose to end his life elsewhere.
Subaru had no reason to continue in this world. He had lost too much here. He wasn't strong enough to live in a world where he had lost what should never have been lost.
So Subaru offered Beatrice a brief word of gratitude, and let his gaze wander as he prepared to leave the Forbidden Library— "————"
He noticed a black-bound book lying on the floor beside the collapsed Beatrice.
A plain cover. Sturdy binding. About the size of a dictionary, with a weighty appearance that would make it awkward to carry. All of it—everything was something Subaru recognized, and his gaze was riveted.
Why was it here, now?
"Because the 'Gospel' was in the dragon carriage... in my possession—not in the library..."
The
Shaking his head in bewilderment, Subaru reached for the fallen Gospel. He wanted to check its contents, to have this anxiety proven wrong. But— "Don't!"
The Gospel was snatched away from the side just as Subaru instinctively reached for it.
Looking up, he saw Beatrice—clothes disheveled, breathing hard—clutching the Gospel in both arms and backing away from him. Keeping her distance, she looked down at the Gospel in her arms with her throat constricted by sobs, let out a breath that sounded like relief, and traced her finger across its cover.
That gesture—the gesture of touching something precious—was what drove Subaru's bad feeling to its absolute peak, "Why are you holding onto that so carefully?"
"............"
"It's... one of those books the Witch Cult had... isn't it? It's not, right? It looks really similar, but it's a different one, yeah? It just looks alike and would be misleading, so you moved it away on purpose so I wouldn't think that, right? Right? I'm the type to jump to conclusions, and I'm stubborn, and I have a foul mouth and bad eyes and a twisted personality..."
"............"
"Hey—tell me I'm wrong."
Beatrice maintained her silence even as Subaru rattled off a hasty defense on her behalf. In the end, Subaru could only throw words that were nothing less than a plea.
Before Subaru, Beatrice let out a small breath, and held the book in both hands out in front of her where he could see it— "It's exactly as you imagine. ...This is a Gospel. The same kind of thing those Witch Cult members had in their possession—a guide to good fortune. A place to anchor one's life. The one and only truth."
"W-Why... do you have something like that? Where did you get it? T-Telling you the future? That's way too much of a lucky item. A walkthrough guide for real life—how broken is that game balance... Hey, come on."
"...Betty has not been instructed to answer that question."
As Subaru asked with trembling voice, Beatrice flipped through the pages with cold detachment, delivering her answer while the girl before her looked down at the book's contents. Subaru, feeling a numbing sensation spread across his tongue— "So you won't do anything unless that book tells you to?"
"That question isn't in the book either."
"What about healing my wounds? Sheltering me in the Forbidden Library when I was about to be killed?"
"That question isn't in the book either."
"Right now—talking to me like this? Saving me when I tried to die...?"
"I don't know."
Without looking up from the book, Beatrice threw back the answer with pure indifference.
At that doll-like composure, at that emotionless attitude, Subaru's voice rose even as a fear that felt like his lungs were spasming seized him and a dizziness that made him forget how to breathe threatened to overwhelm him.
"You can't do anything unless it's what that book says!?"
"That's right. That is how it is. Everything—absolutely everything—follows the Gospel's guidance. That is Betty's reason for existing. That is the only reason Betty is here."
"You helped me... like this... because the book told you to!? When you helped me in the Mabeast Forest when I was about to die!? When you tried to help me when I was worn down to nothing!? All the times we joked around, shouted at each other, acted like idiots and had fun—none of it was your own will... are you telling me that's true!?"
"That's right... that is what I'm telling you!!"
Beatrice's emotions surged forth as if a dam had broken. He tried to call out to her, but the sudden pressure bearing down on him from ahead cut him off.
Reeling back as though struck by wind, Subaru realized that his body was being pushed toward the door without any resistance on his part. —At this rate, he would be expelled outside.
"Stop... Beatrice!"
"Everything Betty has is for Mother! The only thing that connects Betty to everything is Mother! I don't know you... I don't know you..."
"————"
"I don't know you. I hate you. I hate you. —I hate you!"
Shaking her head, hiding her tear-streaked face, the girl's scream sent Subaru's body flying.
The door opened. The space was trying to expel Subaru from the Forbidden Library. His right hand gripped the edge of the door—but he was missing three fingers. He barely held himself in place with just his index finger, but only a few seconds of grace remained.
Lifting his face, Subaru tried to call out to the weeping girl— "Beatrice—!"
"...Master."
Swallowed by that faint voice, Subaru's words never reached her.
Blown away. Erased. Space warped, and Subaru's body was expelled from where it should have been to somewhere it should never have been.
"————"
The door slammed shut, the wind that had been howling like a battering ram fell silent, and stillness descended upon the library.
The girl was left alone. With an expression that held back her sobs, she shuffled unsteadily to the back of the room—to the stepladder that served as her seat—sat down, hugged her knees, and with trembling fingers opened the Gospel. And— "Why... is there nothing... for Betty..."
Facing the blank, unwritten pages, only her sobs continued to echo emptily through the quiet room.