First off, this wasn't me acting on my own.
I had properly obtained permission from Shiro and Ambrosius.
I can't say the two of them were entirely convinced, but they did give their approval.
I'm not the one at fault here.
Just as I was telling myself that, Pakira, seated beside me, tugged at my sleeve.
—What is it?
—Um, Wof. What exactly is going on here?
She looked at me uneasily, cat ears flickering, the two white tails — one long, one short — drooping low.
—It's the King of Wind and Death audition.
—The King of... Wind and Death...?
Pakira stared blankly.
—Yes. The first screening of the audition starts now.
—Then why on earth am I here?
—You're here as a proxy.
—A proxy? For whom?
—That's... something I'll tell you later.
Pakira was standing in for Lord Yomido.
But there was one more crucial role Pakira was playing that I absolutely could not tell her about.
She was bait.
I told the two of them that Pakira might be targeted by the Parade.
I prefaced it with "maybe," but the two of them said it was entirely possible.
The reason was the Incarnation Boom among the dungeon wills.
A ritual to manifest Lord Yomido in the real world as a physical body apparently wasn't realistic.
Even the Parade understood that much.
The realistic method was to manifest only the soul.
The only vessel to put that soul into — someone who looked exactly like Lord Yomido — was Pakira.
That was why they might be targeting Pakira.
At that point, destroying the Parade became a given.
Either way, the Parade was going to end sooner or later.
Even if they succeeded, Lord Yomido himself would destroy the Parade with his own hands.
I don't know what to say. This religious group — what was even the point of it all?
"Wof. You've got a good eye."
"S-So I've been told."
Today in peak form as always, Narcissus flicked her purple twin tails and spoke.
Her violet eyes locked onto me.
"Handing me the position of judging committee chair — that takes some nerve."
"I'm flattered."
I did appoint her as a judge, but I didn't make her the chair.
And she had agreed without a second's hesitation.
She was in the Royal Capital, but I used the Etrange.
I'd never been to the Royal Capital myself, but Riv had.
So she was able to teleport us there.
"That's fine, but, um… the dog?"
"Kuun Hunt."
I answered Narcissus's troubled question straight.
"…So, why is that Kuun Hunt sitting in the judges' seats?"
"Because she's a judge."
Narcissus said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
A large blue dog was perched neatly on a chair.
The way she sat was cute. But she was the strongest one here.
It was just a vague premonition, but I didn't think even a Generous from deep space could beat her.
"She was just wandering around the Royal Capital looking bored, so Ura invited her!"
I hadn't ridden the Etrange that came to pick me up because I had preparations to make.
So when I arrived, finding Kuun Hunt there had shocked me senseless.
Ambrosius was shell-shocked too.
"You can't just invite someone because they look bored…"
"Well, she is quite the personality, I must say."
"………."
Pakira, who was Yomid's spitting image. The strongest Kuun Hunt among all delvers.
Then there's Edda's first-class Narcesis, and her death-king of darkness, Ambrosius.
And, well, there's me.
What kind of lineup is this? Isn't this massive overkill? Could we actually take down a country?
Was I about to do something completely insane?
Just as I was thinking this with a twinge of regret, there was a knock at the door.
"Come in!"
"Someone's here—can they come in?"
Shiro poked her head in and spoke.
"Sure, come on in!"
"Then please, come in."
The very first applicant.
"H-hello. Uh, my name is Hagen."
He was a bald middle-aged man. And of all names, it was Hagen.
A thoroughly disheveled sight.
"You're out."
"Huh?"
"Disqualified!"
"Wh-why?"
"There's no future for bald old men!"
Narcesis declared without mercy, pointing a finger straight at him.
Incredible. No, wait — terrible. The bald man was utterly stunned, then simply turned and shuffled home.
His retreating figure, draped in melancholy, limped away... I think even bald old men have a future.
"A-are you sure about that?"
Pakira sympathized as well.
"This is about deciding who'll be the future King of the Winds of Death. There's no way a guy like that could become king."
"Well, that's true."
"Besides, someone who gives off that much of a small-time crook vibe isn't fit to be king. If you crowned someone like that, they'd definitely get a swollen head. It wouldn't end well."
"Quite right. Even I cannot endorse a small-timer ascending to the throne."
Wow... Ambrosius, who had actual experience with putting a small-timer on the throne, looked genuinely wounded.
The Sword's sword didn't move an inch.
Shiro popped her face into view.
"Next one's here. Mind if I let them in?"
"Go ahead!"
"Hey there, big sis, you're real cute! How about grabbin' a meal with me?"
"Declined. Now get in already."
Entry number two.
"'Sup. Name's Charaou. You ladies over there are cute too, you know! How about we go grab some food together right now? And after that, we can do something nice and cozy, if you know what I mean."
"Drop dead!"
"Gwaahhh!?"
Narcesis's textbook dropkick exploded into the flashy man with devastating accuracy.
"Next!"
The flashy guy gets cleaned up by the behind-the-scenes staff.
That's pretty outrageous, honestly. Behind-the-scenes staff? They're behind-the-scenes staff for a reason.
Entry number three.
"Ku-ku-ku-ku-ku-ku—how foolish!"
A suspicious figure in a black hooded robe approaches.
"What's so foolish about us?"
"We are the Parade— huh?"
The man looks up and lets out a dumbfounded noise.
Then he stares at us and starts trembling.
"Parade? Maybe his brain's a carnival."
My brain quips that it's a daily dancing-all-festival. Something like that.
Pakira-san gets on guard.
"Something's not right about this one."
"Y-you—fuh, fuhh—how dare you laugh! How—how is this possible?! That lineup— the 'Witch's Apprentice,' the 'Second Coming of Generous,' and a dog? And the receptionist is the 'Immortal White Rose Princess'! And... he's a vessel?"
"..."
I didn't miss that.
He looked right at Pakira-san and definitely said "vessel."
Narsesis eyes the Parade man with a cold gaze.
"And who's this old guy supposed to be? And the dog over there—"
"Kenzan's... no way!"
"It's the real deal."
The Parade man glanced at Kenzan's sword.
Kenzan yawned and looked at the man. The man flinched.
"H-ha ha, don't screw with me!"
"Sure, sure. I totally get that feeling."
Leold grabbed the man's right shoulder with a solid grip.
Leold. He's a squirrel beastkin man. In appearance, a scruffy, unshaven middle-aged guy.
But despite his looks, he's one of Kuun Hunt's top executives.
On top of that, he's the third prince of this country.
And this is a secret, but he's also the head of the covert division.
"Wh-what are you?"
"Sure, sure. Let's have a nice chat with uncle later, okay?"
"Le-let go!"
The Parade man was taken away.
"Next!"
Narsesis urged.
Entry number 16.
"Yo! Let's do this. I'm the King of Wind's Death—"
"Disqualified!"
Entry Number 23.
"Oh! That one's a spitting image! Worthy of the vessel!"
"Wh-what?!"
"Sexual harassment and old-man vibes — disqualified! [Banish Knuckle]!!"
"Blblaaahhh!!"
The parade man — ugh, that's gruesome. Wait, that's my technique.
Entry Number 30.
"Ahem. The name's Attama = Karappo, fourth son of the Viscount Karappo household. You girls over there. Hm. How about it? I shall make you my concubines."
"Disqualified on the spot — Upper Cut!!"
"Nooothinggg!!??"
Empty-Head goes flying.
Narcissus-san tramples Empty-Head and speaks.
"And for the record, I'm Edda of the Count's household. Perhaps I should disinherit you right here and now?"
"What'd this guy even come here for?"
"So people like this still exist, huh."
"What should we do with him?"
"Garbage. Take him to the dumpster."
I did as the staff told me and tossed him into the dumpster out back.
"The Karappo viscount family, huh? Maybe I'll look into them."
The head of the kingdom's dark side got promoted.
Entry number thirty-three.
A male of the cat-person race. Wait. This one.
"A cat-man?"
"What's this..."
"That's a Seihou religion priest's robe."
"It's Priest Nyaoshi, isn't it?"
Right. He was in the soul chamber of the Seihou cathedral.
Priest Nyaoshi looked at us and murmured softly.
"Well, well... what a sight... indeed..."
He seemed to be trembling as he spoke.
I asked.
"Priest Nyaoshi, do you want to become the King of the Death Wind?"
"No. I don't even have a Wind Relic."
"Then why did you come here?"
Narcissus asked, exasperated.
"Curiosity. As a priest of the Seihou religion, I couldn't exactly ignore it."
"Is something the matter?"
"Seihou is the natural enemy of the undead, isn't it?"
Ambrosius said, looking at Priest Nyaoshi.
Priest Nyaoshi smiled wryly.
"Well, there's that aspect to it too. They give preferential treatment to holders of Relics[Light]and sell holy water and the like, after all."
"I see."
"Seihou. It's obvious, but they're disqualified."
Narsesus declared as much.
"Understood. Ah, I should also mention that no other Seihou affiliates will be showing up to interfere or anything like that, so rest easy."
"Oh? I was half-worried it might become a troublesome affair."
"If anyone gets in the way, we'll just crush them. I won't show mercy even to Seihou."
Narsesus let out a huff, radiating an air of invincibility.
Ambrosius groaned.
"That's a frightening thing to say..."
"..."
Ken no Ken glanced at Priest Nyaoshi.
"Yes, I understand. Well then, I'll take my leave."
With that, he gave a quick bow and departed.
Though, just before leaving, it seemed like he had looked at Pakira.
"Nyaoshi..."
Pakira murmured softly.
"You know him?"
"Well, now. What I can say for certain is that we're from the same land."
Because they're both catfolk, presumably.
"There really aren't any good ones in the bunch, huh."
Narcissus sighed.
Ken no Ken yawned.
"Most of them were parade folks, weren't they."
Ambrosius had a somewhat worn-out look on his face.
Narcissus pressed on without missing a beat.
"This parade thing — what is it, exactly? You've been going on about it."
"I too am rather curious. Or am I merely imagining it? I do believe I've been drawing unwanted attention."
"I was thinking the same thing. What's the deal?"
"Well, you see..."
Cornered by Narcissus, Ambrosius shot me a meaningful look.
It's not like there's any harm in telling them, is there?
"Hang on — next one's up."
Shiro poked her head out from the door and said.
Narcissus nodded.
"Fair enough. We're in the middle of auditions. Let's talk about this later."
"Quite right."
"Agreed."
"Anyway, come on in."
Entry number thirty-four.
"I-I'm sorry for intruding..."
The one who bowed her head like that and stepped inside was.