I'm someone who's unsuited to being a Hunter in every possible way, but if I had to pick the one job I'm least suited for, it would be bodyguard.
The reason is simple. I'm... incredibly unlucky.
I've never had good memories with bodyguard commissions.
Bodyguards are essentially insurance. I mean, if you're hiring a bodyguard, you're probably walking through dangerous territory, but in most cases the commission ends without any real trouble... or so I've heard.
Come to think of it, truly powerful Monsters rarely exist in the first place, and thieves wouldn't deliberately target someone who already has a bodyguard.
But I've run into some kind of obstacle on nearly every bodyguard commission I've ever taken.
Sometimes it was Phantoms, sometimes Monsters, sometimes bandit groups or criminal organizations. Natural disasters, too. I mean, even on regular vacations I tend to get into terrible situations, but the odds during bodyguard jobs are on another level entirely.
I'm someone who understands his own weaknesses. That's precisely why I never accept bodyguard commissions — and have made sure not to.
I'm! Thinking! About! The client! That's what I'm saying!
And while I'm used to being one foot in the grave, most people aren't.
When Eva looked at the commission slip, her eyes went wide for an instant, and she stared at me with a bewildered expression.
"I think this is... a tremendous honor."
"Mm-hmm, yeah..."
"But why would they pick Mr. Krai of all people..."
"Mm-hmm, yeah, exactly!"
Seriously, yeah!
Eva's office — the Sub Clan Master's room — was far messier than the Clan Master's room.
The bookshelves were crammed with countless files, and stationery was stacked everywhere. The organization itself seemed proper enough, but there was simply too much stuff. It really felt like a room where actual work happened.
On her well-worn metal desk sat several compartmentalized metal boxes. Inside each one, black stones were neatly arranged.
They were Treasure Weapons known as "Resonance Stones." A pair of stones linked together — strike one, and sound plays from the other. They were used for communication, but they were so convenient that demand was enormous and they rarely appeared on the market. Even our Party didn't have any.
And here were... sixteen of them. If you accidentally flipped the box over, you'd never figure out which stone was connected to which.
Eva noticed my gaze and quickly hid the boxes.
"............No. These are entrusted items."
"............I know, by the way."
Incidentally, these were the kind of Treasure Weapons that became completely useless if you lost even one stone.
I'd once been lucky enough to obtain a pair myself, but I lost one of them and now they're worthless. They're only usable by meticulous people.
It had been a while since I last visited Eva's workspace. Generally, she comes to the Clan Master's room instead.
After I finished reviewing every detail of the commission slip, Eva wore a slightly troubled expression.
"............Commissions like this should theoretically be issued based on trust rather than ability... and the 'Mourning Specter' has more of a bad reputation than anything —"
Even when I came running to her in tears about something that wasn't even a Party matter, Eva never once made a sour face about it.
As expected of my right arm. Or maybe rather than my right arm, I should call her my core.
"Eva... will you come with me?"
"...Excuse me? ...No. I'm not a Hunter, you know?"
She should just become a Hunter too. Then she'd have a lot more flexibility.
If even I can do it, Eva could raise her levels in no time.
Lucia had finished her training and, the moment she saw she was no longer needed, disappeared somewhere.
I have no ability to speak of, but in title I'm still the leader, so I need to set the policy. Normally I'd just hurl it at Tino or whoever, but this is an imperial bodyguard assignment, so that's a bit much.
I was gazing at Eva's sharp profile, wondering who to dump this on, when she spoke in a small voice.
"...This is problematic. They're probably wary of a mole. You're the only one, Mr. Krai, whose innocence has been proven through the 'Tears of Truth'..."
"...What if I just half-ass it?"
"I'll confirm this, but you do mean 'appropriate' half-assing, right?"
The commission offered in exchange for the carpet was, for me, the absolute Worst of the Worst — and not Citry's epithet.
Zebuldia apparently holds talks with its allied nations once a year.
The commission I received was to accompany the Emperor and protect him and the other attendees.
The location was Zebuldia — no, actually, past the mountains, across the plains, and over the rivers, lay a desert nation where most of the land was sand: "Toizant."
I'd never been, since it was so far away, but according to the commission slip, it took over two weeks from Zebuldia using every available means of transportation.
Truly the worst. Bodyguard duty for talks held within Zebuldia would already be dangerous, but protecting an imperial entourage heading abroad? I could never shoulder that responsibility.
According to the commission slip, we were merely insurance. The Emperor's direct imperial guard — the Zeroth Knights — would be providing security soldiers. Not a full army deployment, but a small, elite protective detail.
But I couldn't trust those guards at all. After all, there had just been an incident at the imperial palace where drugs were slipped in. Even someone as carefree as I am has my reservations. If they'd label this Arc-class, I'd feel somewhat reassured, but that was surely impossible. People like that barely existed.
Eva pointed at the commission slip with a more serious expression than mine.
"The five-person limit is also troublesome. They can't hire too many Hunters due to the balancing act with the direct knight order, I understand that, but... after what happened this year, of all times — I suppose it's probably meant to show a strong front."
"...I don't really know much about these talks, but what happened last year?"
"Last year, the venue was Zebuldia. Talk venues generally go to the nation with greater strength. About half the time it's in Zebuldia, and this should be the first time in ten years it's been held in Toizant. It should have ended without incident."
"...Always drawing the short straw. I can't do this."
Just so you know, when you bring me along, something terrible shows up. And the more important the event, the worse it gets.
I don't understand the logic, and I don't know what will appear, but from pure experience I know it will. There's no way I could explain it.
Well, the team limit of five is their condition, so there's nothing to be done about that. The biggest problem is that we can't include the Mourning Specter in this.
Our Party's team cohesion is in the negatives. Adding nobles to the mix would make it a total disaster. Anthem, Lucia, and Citry might be able to hold things together, but if those three came along, the rest of the members would follow. I certainly don't have the confidence to rein in Reeds' and Luke's rampages, and Elisa was her own kind of free spirit. She'd probably recommend some random lizards she caught to His Majesty the Emperor.
After deep deliberation, I gave a broad nod and spoke.
"Five people, huh... With our Party, Elisa and I would be left out, but for an Arc-level Party that's perfect."
"!?" ...Mr. Krai, surely you're not thinking of not going yourself?"
"...Can I not?"
"............"
"...Can't you convince them?"
"Impossible. I'm sorry, there's nothing I can do. Stop being selfish. You always do this anyway."
Every word Eva said stabbed me right in the heart.
"I always do this" — I don't always do this! You see me loafing around the Clan Master's room all the time! But if I said something like that and Eva abandoned me, I'd be done for.
The commission slip said the slot was for up to five people, but it didn't say I had to bring my own Party members.
I suppose that meant I had the choice. And maybe it meant they were trusting us with that discretion too. Hmm, five people, five people...
That's when inspiration struck. I couldn't help but grin.
The Beginning Footprint was a large-scale Clan, which meant it had wide connections across the board.
And while I was useless, I was leading a Party famous as one of the strongest among the younger generation. We had plenty of enemies, but plenty of allies too. I knew quite a few Hunters personally.
That's right... I just needed to gather five people who were strong, high-level, famous, and seemed easy to work with.
Hunters had their pride, and if it was a commission from the Emperor, nobody would dare refuse.
And even in the one-in-a-million chance the Emperor got assassinated, the responsibility would surely be spread around.
I could build a Dream Party. I'd call it the Grand Hotpot Strategy. One of them being an Arc-level goes without saying.
Today I'm... sharp. This is actually starting to get fun.
"Wh-what is that smile..."
Oh right, he wasn't a Hunter, but I'd throw Gaark in too. There was no requirement in the brief that said the candidate had to be a Hunter.
I'd make that man who always shoved troublesome commissions on me understand just how terrible the situations I end up in really are.
If I can't escape terrible situations, then everyone's going down with me. Time to show them the legendary strategic brilliance they've all been whispering about.