These days, I already want to go home before I've even arrived.
You see, I'm a simple, law-abiding citizen, and I'm not exactly cut out for guys who barrel toward you with a death-or-glory attitude.
Think about it — from the perspective of a decent, upright citizen, delinquents are a real nuisance, right?
You'd normally steer well clear of them, right?
So it's only natural that I'd want to make my exit.
"I said I'm not trying to leave!?"
Gnuh!?
How did he notice?
Grr.
Look, I keep telling people — my social skills are bottom-tier.
I'm no good with these in-your-face types.
The delinquent thing or whatever — well, that's not really the issue.
Up until now, most people around me have been pretty laid-back, and they understood that I rarely talk and adjusted accordingly, so things worked out. But this guy? No chance.
He just barrels in without a shred of consideration for what you want.
"So seriously, what do you actually want?"
See, this is exactly what I mean.
The Demon King talks a fair bit too, but he's an exception — I can actually hold a normal conversation with him.
The vampire girl doesn't even expect me to talk in the first place.
But this guy? Talk. Talk right now. That's the vibe he gives off, pushing and pushing.
Please stop. I'll die.
Let me think — what was it I came here to say?
"Hey, I'm not闲 here either. Get to the point already."
Argh!
Stop rushing me!
"Oni. Lodger. OK?"
See!
You rushed me and now all I could string together was a bunch of incomprehensible words!
"Huh? Makes no sense."
This is your fault. Entirely your fault.
Let me talk at my own pace!
"Blow, you're rushing her and making things difficult for Shiro-san. Besides, you're the one with business here — not with her, but with me, right?"
"Uh, well, that—"
"Shiro-san, I'm sorry about my brother. Hey, step back."
"If you say so, bro."
Nice one, Balt.
He hasn't been put to work by the Demon King for nothing.
That's a man who knows how to read the room.
"Now then, let me hear what you need."
Hmm, just a moment.
Oni — even if I say that, it won't make sense... a man?
A man I found? Picked up?
He's heartbroken, so I want to let him recover for a while.
Yeah.
"I picked up a man. I want to let him stay at the mansion."
GAGON!
That sound echoed as the punk took a spectacular tumble.
What's he doing?
"W-What did you say!?"
Wait, why is he suddenly speaking in broken-Japanese intonation?
Shouldn't I be the one saying "What!?"
"Shiro-san. Our establishment is not a brothel. I can turn a blind eye to one guest at a time, but please exercise some restraint."
Huh?
Hmm?
Hnn!?
N-No!
That's not what I meant!
Whoa!
I finally understood why the punk took that tumble!
The way I phrased that — if you interpret it a certain way, it totally sounds like THAT!
"It's not like that."
If I get lazy here and don't set the record straight, my reputation is at stake.
I don't care what other people do in private, but I am NOT having that label slapped on me.
[Exactly. She's got the same face as me, so don't go calling her easy.]
I thought I heard something, but it must be my imagination.
Maid-san, there's a god of slacking off in here.
Please escort her out immediately.
"Y-You — a — man!?"
Shut up, shut your mouth, die!
It was a play on words.
"An old acquaintance. He might be useful as a fighter."
A clear disclaimer that we're not that kind of relationship, plus a hint that he could be of practical benefit.
With this, even if the punk doesn't get it, Balt should be convinced!
Whether he'll actually be useful — no idea.
"Oh, is that so? Then there's no problem. By the way, how useful is he?"
See?
A man who gets it — there's really no comparison.
Nothing like the punk who's still quaking in his boots because his brain can't keep up.
"Quite."
"Is that so? That's reassuring."
For a moment Balt's expression seemed to twitch, but I'll pretend I didn't see that.
Balt is also cooperating because he's scared of the Demon King, so just like Agner, I can't fully trust him.
If he senses my power weakening, he could flip on me in an instant.
From Balt's perspective, an increase in the Demon King's side's fighting strength wouldn't exactly be welcome.
Well, Balt's worries are misplaced, though.
Oni-kun hasn't even met the Demon King.
I still don't know what kind of person Oni-kun is, and what happens going forward is entirely up to him.
I won't deny I have hopes of making him part of my fighting force, but that's strictly a "if things work out" kind of deal.
I have no intention of forcing him.
However, if he willingly chooses to stand in my path, I won't show mercy.
"I'll contact the mansion ahead of time. There are more than enough unused rooms anyway."
"Thanks."
When I said that, Balt looked a little surprised.
Of course I'd say thank you.
I've got Balt's permission, and I have no more business here.
Let me slip away before the frozen punk comes back to life.
************************* "Blow."
"Huh!? Bro, where'd she go?"
"She left ages ago."
"I-Is that so..."
"From what I can tell, it doesn't look like he's her boyfriend."
"No, it's not — I don't care about that!"
"Blow, I wouldn't exactly recommend her, but what do you see in her?"
"Wh-What are you talking about?"
"Sheesh. My little brother, who's never had a lick of luck with romance, goes and falls head over heels for the most impossible target there is."
"It's not like that! It's just — whenever I see her, my heart starts pounding like crazy!"
"Yeah, right."
Suspension Bridge Effect: The phenomenon of misattributing feelings of romance toward someone of the opposite sex whom you meet while experiencing anxiety or fear. It is said to occur primarily when people mistake their racing hearts — caused by anxiety or fear — for romantic feelings.