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Re:Zero − Starting Life in Another World · Chapter 342

Chapter 5-26: The Spearhead of Love

August 1, 2020 · 18 min read · 3,696 words

——The situation had regressed significantly, and an already dire state of affairs had deteriorated further.

At the sight of Sirius, her eyes glazed over with ecstasy and hot breaths escaping her lips, Subaru was overcome with dread.

The freak paid no heed to the heated chain burning her cheek through the bandages, her eyes locked onto Subaru with manic intensity — no, she never stopped staring.

"Darling... Petelgeuse...?"

The name of the madman he never wanted to hear. The woman who proclaimed herself a Romanee-Conti, who screamed her love for her late husband alongside fury — it was impossible not to make the association.

And yet he couldn't bring himself to accept that connection, because he didn't want to combine the existence of a madman named Petelgeuse with the existence of a freak named Sirius.

He didn't want to believe that the two linked by the Romanee-Conti name were the worst possible couple.

"A married couple who're both Sin Archbishops of the — that's the worst. Pick your brides, man... though if the result of picking is *that*, then there's nothing anyone can do."

Truly, the Witch Cult recruited nothing but broken people.

The self-absorbed Petelgeuse. Sirius, who shoved her selfish love onto others. Regulus, who spouted love through shallow fatalism — every last one of them was trash.

"Come to think of it, their names are all vaguely similar too. They all end in... ~us? End...?"

Subaru, trying to smother his creeping fear with aimless thoughts, caught himself mid-sentence as something odd registered. He'd noticed something was off, though in the urgency of the moment he couldn't quite pin down what.

"Don't be so silent, Petelgeuse. You really are such a cruel person. Acting so coldly toward me all the time — ugh, ugh, ugh... it's infuriating!"

Whatever Subaru's silence had meant in her head, Sirius pressed her hand to her cheek and squirmed in a tortured display. What made the scene truly nightmarish was that the crowd gathered around Sirius had also been swept up in the freak's delusion, putting on grotesque courtship displays right then and there.

"Oh, dear. I can't keep indulging this. She probably got the idea from watching that bizarre trick of his earlier, but how petty. If two people are fated to be bound together, then no matter what obstacles lie between them, they'll inevitably be joined — just like me and my brides. And yet she can't accept being separated by death before bearing fruit? It's beyond pitiful — it's ugly."

"Uh-huh, thanks. Real sorry about that. I'm in the middle of something right now, you get that, right? Understanding is important. Compromise is also important. Now that you've achieved your goal, would you mind withdrawing? I have my own business to attend to."

"Well, I suppose my goal of taking the bride out has been accomplished..."

Regulus looked down at cradled in his arms — Sirius, having cycled from mania to something resembling rationality, had been indirectly telling him to get lost — then glanced at Subaru.

"But I haven't been able to properly retaliate for two things: you trying to kill me and my bride, and that noisy fellow who's been buzzing around since earlier blocking my path. You see, I don't particularly enjoy resorting to violence. But this is legitimate retaliation. What matters is that this is a rightful act. If I back down, I'd be the only one to suffer for it — but if I retreat here, it means I've failed to uphold justice with sincerity. That, you know, is a loss of precedent. Such precedents shouldn't be allowed to stand."

"St-stop making everything sound so damn precious. In the end you just want to kill me because you don't like me. Stop dressing it up with that bullshit rationalization."

"To think you'd talk back. And to do so as though I'm the one in the wrong, no less. Or perhaps... are you the type of person who immediately rejects any opinion that doesn't align with your own? If so, I'd say your judgment and your capacity are both painfully small and narrow. People who can't honestly listen to others will eventually be tripped up by their own contempt for those around them. Don't you think?"

"You're one to talk," Subaru shot back.

Regulus raised his eyebrows in genuine surprise at the retort.

Could it be that he truly believed his own words carried legitimacy? No — he must believe it. Otherwise he wouldn't stand at the apex of that nest of aberrations.

It only *seemed* like a conversation was happening. They were barely using similar linguistic forms, but they were creatures from entirely different ecosystems in entirely different worlds.

He had to think that way. Or he'd be swallowed whole.

"Sirius, it seems you've excluded him from the range of your Authority. What's going on?"

It was Regulus, not the silenced Subaru, who turned the spearhead of conversation toward Sirius.

Furrowing her brow suspiciously at those words, Subaru belatedly realized that the fear that had been nesting in his heart just moments ago had vanished.

He hadn't stepped outside the range of her ability — 's fingers were still trembling faintly on his shoulder, proving that much.

Which meant Subaru alone had been excluded from her ability's targets. The reason was: "W-well, isn't it obvious? Once I learned he was *that person*, I couldn't very well keep trying to become one with him — my feelings might reach him, and that would be improper!"

"Don't be bashful, it's creepy. Going on and on about 'I love you, I love you' — what's with the sudden demure act? I just don't get it."

"If even the feelings that can't be spoken, that *shouldn't* be spoken, were to reach him, it would seem unladylike. Those feelings I'll keep locked away until the very end — until the moment I become one with him. I've decided. Yes, for the sake of *love*!"

"That's exactly the kind of coyness that ensures the other person never receives a shred of your true feelings. You said your name is Sirius Romanee-Conti, right? There's a difference between persisting in devotion and outright stealing someone else's family name — you should realize how unsettling that is. In a way, you're violating the path Petelgeuse walked. Well, he's dead now, so I suppose it doesn't much matter."

"That man and I loved each other!"

Sirius erupted suddenly at Regulus's exasperated tone.

The freak clawed at her own head, spitting toward Regulus as she screamed: "Because our eyes met again and again every single day! Because he didn't scold me when I dared to touch him! Because he answered when I spoke to him without making a face! Because he never said a word when he breathed in my breath! Because he let me sleep beside him! Because he didn't get angry when I took his things! Because he praised me when I seared a half-demon correctly! Because he gave me a name! Because he smiled! Only at me! Only at me, only at me, only at me!"

Breathing hard, Sirius wept as she spilled out the depths of her feelings.

Now he understood clearly. The dark, twisted purity of this freak Sirius's love.

"Oh, dear — stubborn people like you really are impossible to deal with."

Regulus shrugged and addressed Subaru as if seeking his agreement.

Subaru wanted to retort that Regulus was the last person who should be saying that, but honestly, both of them were equally impossible to handle and equally best avoided.

Facing two Sin Archbishops, the situation remained just as hopeless — no light of a breakthrough in sight.

"Actually, wouldn't the situation be worse now that Sirius's attention has shifted this way?"

Even though Subaru alone had been freed from the shared fear, his combat strength hadn't improved dramatically. He wished Beatrice's handicap would lift, but her judgment, still dominated by terror, lacked its usual precision.

If only the opponent were Regulus alone — "...Hey, Sirius."

"Yes? What is it, you?"

At Subaru's call, Sirius responded with a soft, compliant attitude.

Internally surprised by her unexpectedly reasonable reaction, Subaru said: "I've got business with Regulus over there. Could you stay put for a little while? Please."

"You want me to wait, you say?"

Subaru's Hail Mary gambit was to exploit Sirius's misunderstanding.

Apparently, because Subaru had used Invisible Providence — similar to the "Unseen Hands" that Petelgeuse had employed — Sirius had somehow concluded that Subaru was Petelgeuse or something like him. It was an absurd case of mistaken identity, but right now he could use it.

After all, Petelgeuse had been a spirit that possessed others. It wasn't entirely far-fetched to imagine that if he were alive, he might possess Subaru's body.

The problem was that it made everything up to this point inexplicable, but Subaru doubted the current Sirius would care about such details.

From that line of thinking, Subaru attempted to force his way through with a power play. The result was: "Sorry, but no. Even someone as precious as you — I can't grant that request."

Cruelly, Sirius rejected his plea.

Subaru grimaced at the refusal — was it too much to hope for such a convenient arrangement? — and Sirius looked down, saying: "Truthfully, I'd love to listen to you. But you're so industrious, and I know that while I'm standing still here, you'll slip through my fingers and slip away. I know. We've had a long association, after all. I know how you always push yourself so hard, trying to do everything alone to achieve results. ...But"

*She's got a point there,* Subaru thought grudgingly. To interpret Petelgeuse's fanaticism that way was an impressively charitable reading. The diligence that would be welcomed in a corporate worker was nothing but harm to the world when the profession was Sin Archbishop.

"We've finally, *finally* been reunited. A year — an entire year! In that year, not once did I let you out of my thoughts. In a hundred years, not once! And yet you and I couldn't meet for over a year — and now that we finally can, you want me to wait? No. I can't. I won't. Even when we were apart, I wanted to become one with you, wanted to, wanted to, wanted to, wanted to—!"

"—"

"On top of that, you want me to wait *more*!? And what's more, you're here with some spirit woman I've never even seen! Where did you find her!? What's so great about her!? She's tiny, her face is insolent, she doesn't have a shred of femininity in her chest or her hips! Because she's a spirit!? You're a spirit too, so you want a spirit woman!? Are you saying that the time we spent together is going to be defeated by something so trivial!? I'll burn you, I—!"

As she ranted, the conversation took a darker turn, and Sirius's fury escalated of its own accord. Both her arms blazed with flame once more. The crowd, yanked out of courtship mode and into outrage mode, was clearly pushing their bodies past their limits — blood streamed from eyes and noses without end.

"I bet you're after Regulus because of the half-demon in his arms, aren't you!? Filthy little half-demon brat! Silver-haired half-demon! Why does everyone keep taking her side!? Don't you get it yet!? You wretched, despicable, miserable witch...! If you're going to be resurrected after all, I'll burn her right in front of your eyes!"

"You've lost me, honestly..."

The freak spat her hatred of Emilia and the " of Envy" in a bloodcurdling shriek.

Wasn't the Witch Cult's goal the revival of the "Witch of Envy"? Subaru couldn't comprehend why she would show such intense hatred toward the very object of that revival.

No — Sirius didn't resonate with Petelgeuse's wish at all.

He'd known they couldn't be allies, but was she truly nothing but an enemy?

"——"

A three-way standoff had formed once again.

Regulus intended to kill both Subaru and Sirius.

Sirius wanted to make Regulus back off while attempting to sense Petelgeuse's nonexistent presence within Subaru.

Subaru wanted to reclaim Emilia from Regulus, free Tina from Sirius, and — if the opportunity arose — defeat both Sin Archbishops.

Obviously, Subaru's conditions were far, far the harshest.

Requiring a feat that couldn't be accomplished alone, Subaru felt sweat trickling down his forehead.

He had already experienced "Return by Death," and after Sirius's arrival came Regulus's. The subsequent chaos and skirmishing with both Sin Archbishops meant he'd at least survived the longest.

But the information gained from all that time was nothing but terrible. Truly, it was hopeless.

"...Beako."

"Either one is fine, I suppose."

From behind, came the voice of his partner — propping him up when he was about to lose his nerve.

Her words, entrusting the choice to him, hardened his resolve.

And then — it happened.

"Oh my."

"...!"

Regulus and Sirius changed their demeanor simultaneously.

Each reached into their own coat and produced — a single book.

"That's..."

He recognized it. A thick, black-bound book.

He had only one such book left among his possessions, and there was no mistaking it.

The Gospel — the tome said to be in the possession of every member of the Witch Cult.

"——"

Subaru's vigilance intensified further, but the two Sin Archbishops each flipped open their own Gospel and scanned the pages.

Then, with a snap, they closed their books in unison — their expressions, however, were polar opposites.

"I'd guess the contents were identical, but what do you say, Sirius?"

"Shut up, Regulus. Why — why now? I'd finally, *finally* gotten him within reach—"

Regulus wore a thin smile. Sirius ground her teeth, frustration seeping into her voice.

The madman and the freak harbored opposite emotions, yet their wills seemed unified.

Because they both turned to look at Subaru and said: "Sorry, but time's up. I no longer have the luxury of dealing with you. Be grateful to the Gospel — no, that's wrong. That wouldn't be very rational. There's no need to express gratitude to a scrap of paper. Instead, be grateful that I, who follow the Gospel, am allowing you to leave."

"I'll let the gratitude comment slide — but time's up, you say? What the hell are you talking about!?"

"Just what it sounds like. Originally, I was simply spending some free time before the thing I have to do. And so I've gotten to spend meaningful time obtaining my bride."

"I'm far from satisfied...! To be denied when that person is right in front of me — the cruelty is beyond words. I feel as though I'll be swept away by sorrow. Surely you understand!?"

Regulus spoke with leisurely composure, while Sirius tried to force her grief onto everyone else. The crowd was collapsing, and Beatrice stifled sobs behind Subaru's back.

But neither Subaru nor Regulus appeared affected by any of it.

"Sorry, but your pushy, shallow love doesn't affect me in the slightest — not even a little. I find it repulsive, is all."

Regulus turned his back on Subaru and the others, still holding Emilia in his arms, his voice dripping with contempt.

He seemed genuinely inclined to honor his word and leave without looking back. Regulus departing alone would be cause for celebration — but it wouldn't be that simple.

"Hey, wait, you bastard! Don't just do whatever you want! Leave her behind! Or else...!"

"I've been thinking about it, though."

"—!?"

Regulus stopped. He turned his head toward Subaru with a smile.

That smile sent a chill racing down Subaru's spine, as though a blade had been drawn across it. He froze.

Which meant he couldn't stop what Regulus did next.

"It would be lonely if the guests on the bride's side were reduced, and it feels a bit cruel not to invite the one who harbored feelings for you. —So, I'll spare your life."

Lightly, Regulus tapped his toe against the cobblestones.

It looked like a casual gesture adjusting the fit of his shoe, but his toe dug into the stone as effortlessly as a shovel carving through soft earth.

The displaced cobblestones then flew toward Subaru along the trajectory of that tap.

A shotgun blast of stone and debris, fired with almost no regard for aim. A portion grazed the outside of Subaru's right leg — and in the next instant, his right leg vanished up to the thigh.

"...Huh?"

A grotesque cross-section was laid bare, as if gouged by a beast's claw — white bone, pink muscle, yellow nerves, and cleanly severed green blood vessels displayed in pristine detail.

Confusion. Understanding. And then the agony.

"—?! I — aaahhh?!"

His vision went white. A sensation like dozens of sharp needles being driven into his brain sent spikes of pain through him.

His throat trembled as a scream tore free, and Subaru collapsed sideways, unable to support his own weight. He stretched his fingers desperately toward the outside of his thigh, trying to stem the bleeding. Impossible. The wound was far too large — his palm couldn't even cover it.

"Subaru!? Subaru! Subaru, hold on! Right now!"

Beatrice, who had fallen alongside him, realized the severity of his wound and frantically began chanting a healing spell. Regulus surveyed their wretched state and nodded with satisfaction.

"That should suffice as punishment for your reckless behavior earlier. I suppose you might do it again, but I do have hopes for your future. This pain will surely serve as the force that stops you the next time you think about hurting someone else. You don't need to thank me — just do the same for someone else someday."

"Aaaah — gaaugh — uuaaargh!"

Pain pain pain pain pain pain —!

His vision blurred. His back teeth creaked under the force of his clenching. His sight was red. He couldn't tell up from down, left from right. Whether he was lying down or standing up, alive or dead — he didn't know.

He didn't know. He didn't know. He didn't know — but some things he did.

"Emilia — aaagh — mag — gaa — ugh—"

"Subaru, you have to stop thrashing! If you need to vomit, turn to the side, or your throat will—"

Pain and desperation made Subaru thrash his head back and forth while clutching his wound. His heart hammered like a rapid drumbeat, and his insides screamed as the tension wrung him dry, forcing repeated bouts of vomiting.

Beatrice used her small body to pin his thrashing form down while wringing out healing magic. But behind her, a voice laced with venomous hatred replied: "...You've got to be joking."

"Sorry. But it's no joke. Isn't it obvious?"

Behind the muttering Beatrice, whose voice dripped with loathing, Sirius answered in a voice saturated with the foulest of passions.

Around Sirius, people writhed and screamed, clutching wounds identical to Subaru's — their right legs gouged away as though by a beast's claw.

"My beloved Petelgeuse would say this: pain is the proof of being alive, and the act of living itself is a deed wrought by *love*. I understand. It can't be wrong. But I believe there is a way to show an even greater form of *love* beyond that. Yes. That is becoming one. After all, *love* is the wish to become one! Seeing the same things, feeling the same things, spending time together, ending together — *becoming* one is what *love* is!"

She threw her arms wide and brought them together in an explosive clap.

Gazing upon the faces of the groaning people with envy, Sirius finally drove a single, merciless glance toward Beatrice alone.

"Everyone should savor that same fulfillment of life that he did. But I will never grant it to you or that filthy half-demon. Who would ever make the likes of you into what he was?"

"...There's nothing more repulsive than a woman driven mad by jealousy. Whether you do anything or not, Betty has long since become one with Subaru. Betty belongs to Subaru."

"—!"

At Sirius's vile words, Beatrice fired back.

The freak and the spirit locked eyes — but the freak was the one who turned away first, and the confrontation ended.

"I'm entrusting him to you for now. I must prioritize the Gospel's instructions. Yes... reluctantly. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Really, I'd take you back right this instant—"

To the blood-drained Subaru rolling his eyes back, Sirius directed her fanatical love. Then, in a single bound, the freak vaulted away from the blood-soaked square.

Beatrice could do nothing but abandon the pursuit of that retreating figure — even knowing that letting her go might cost more lives.

"—Subaru."

Subaru's eyes were rolled back, yellowish foam gathering at the corners of his mouth.

Beatrice pressed her palm against his wound, working to treat the hemorrhage that wouldn't stop. The gash was far too large — if she lost focus for even a moment, death from blood loss would be inevitable.

Saving Subaru was Beatrice's absolute priority. And the thing she had to prioritize after that was: "Everyone else needs their wounds treated too..."

In all, more than thirty people lay scattered across the square.

Every one of them bore the same wound as Subaru — and, maddeningly, they didn't even share in the effects of his healing. Each wound had to be healed individually.

It was a burden that would drain every last drop of Beatrice's stored mana and still not be enough.

"...Subaru, I'm sorry."

Beatrice's voice, strained as she desperately healed Subaru's wound while trying to maintain her composure, cracked.

A single tear traced down her large eye and fell across her white cheek.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry..."

Again and again, Beatrice apologized.

Even though she knew her voice wouldn't reach the Subaru who had lost consciousness to the pain.

Even though she knew it wouldn't solve anything.

"I'm sorry, Emilia—"

Sirius, who had caused numerous casualties before departing.

And Regulus, who had demonstrated overwhelming power and abducted Emilia.

——Two Sin Archbishops had been unleashed upon the waterway city of .

End of chapter 342