There was a sensation of something precious slipping out from within him.
It was different from the gate that had creaked and groaned as he witnessed the end of its existence.
Something else entirely — something entirely different — was stirring inside Subaru's body.
With a heat he couldn't tell was hot or cold.
So formless he couldn't even tell whether it had shape at all.
That black residue, one might call it, raced through
But its lingering trace continued to waver inside Subaru even now.
At that alien sensation, Subaru felt something indescribable. It wasn't something familiar, nor something he'd felt before. And yet, Subaru knew it as a recognized truth.
Therefore, while there were questions of "why" and "how," there were no questions of "what" or "for what purpose."
There was no need to agonize over what it actually was. The question worth asking was "why," but the one he could ask that of was beyond the reach of his voice right now.
So there was only one thing Subaru needed to think about.
"The Invisible Strike," "The Unseen Palm," "The Imperceptible Impact"
They all sounded either corny, derivative, or lacking in style.
A pitch-black arm, invisible to anyone but Subaru.
Unable to be wielded by anyone but Subaru — that was— "I'll call it 'the Invisible Divine Providence'… Invisible Providence…"
"Huh? What did you just say?"
Eyes half-open, his consciousness still hazy, Subaru let part of his thinking slip past his lips.
The moment he did, the one whose eyes went round with surprise at hearing it was the silver-haired beauty right before him.
Blinking several times, Subaru recognized that he had returned from the unconscious world back to reality. He quickly noticed the soft sensation beneath his head and connected it to
"Oh… Emilia-tan's giving me a lap pillow again."
"That's right. How many times is this now? You keep passing out and I keep lending you my lap like this."
"If we're considering all the circumstances, I'd say three. It's a paradise you can only reach by breaking through the final boss."
"You're really… remarkably clear-headed… Do you remember what happened before you passed out?"
"Of course I do. While I'm lying here like this, chatting and looking at your face, I'm slowly recalling everything…"
He bantered lightly as he pushed aside the faint heaviness in his head and organized his thoughts. Then, recalling the barrage of intense impacts he'd received before losing consciousness, he came to understand.
Immediately, Subaru touched both hands to his face, kneading his cheeks as he looked up at Emilia.
"Shit. Now that you mention it, I feel like I got beaten to a pulp. Emilia-tan, are you okay? My face — it's not in some two-time-injury kind of state, is it?"
"You're fine. You don't look that bad."
"That's the kind of answer someone gives when they mean to be honest but don't have the heart to say it!"
Watching Emilia tilt her head with a puzzled expression, Subaru removed his hands from his face and lightly checked each joint. There was a pulling sensation and faint numbness in his shoulders, lower body, and around his neck. But most of the external wounds appeared to have closed — he seemed to be in the aftermath of healing.
"Subaru. You're making my knee tickle by moving around so much."
"Oh, sorry. It's not like that! I wasn't being pervy at all, I swear! I mean, I wasn't, but just to be safe, can I check one more time?"
"No. Say things like that and I'll knock you off my knee right away. Stop being such a silver-tongued smartass."
"That's a word I haven't heard in ages…"
Seeing Emilia's gaze sharpen, Subaru smiled wryly and lifted himself off her lap. He felt reluctant, but he couldn't stay dawdling forever.
His physical condition was at about sixty percent of his full capacity — far from peak condition, but he was grateful for Emilia's healing.
"Thanks for patching me up. You could heal me even without
"My contract with Puck may have ended, but my contracts with the minor spirits haven't. Besides… this might sound strange, but it's not like I can't use magic either."
"Really? I thought magic users and spirit users worked through completely different mana mechanisms… I figured the two couldn't coexist."
He remembered being told this before, during lectures from Puck and Roswaal at the mansion. The gist had been that magic users could only use magic equal to the amount of mana stored in their bodies, while spirit users could draw on the mana in the atmosphere without limit, so once they'd established communication with their spirits, they could cast magic to their heart's content.
That was why it was a bit inconsistent with his understanding that Emilia could use magic.
At Subaru's question, Emilia's eyes flickered downward slightly.
A strange reaction. Subaru furrowed his brow, and she let out a small sigh.
"I thought I couldn't do it either… But I told you my memories have started coming back, right? Among them is knowledge of how to use magic that came naturally… It seems that was sealed away too."
"Emilia's memories sealed away the fact that she could use magic?"
"Yes."
She nodded, but her demeanor was halting — probably because the implications weren't visible. Subaru couldn't figure out the reason Emilia had locked away her knowledge of magic in the depths of her memory either. With the information he had now, forming a hypothesis didn't seem possible.
In any case, there was no denying she'd healed him with magic she could now use.
"Whatever the circumstances, if you could heal me, that's a huge relief. The others—"
He was about to say "the others" when Subaru realized he shouldn't be sitting around here in comfort.
The moment he'd remembered the cause of losing consciousness, he should have realized this problem too.
Garfiel, who had been facing Subaru. Otto and
"Your concern is appreciated, but there's no need to assume the absolute worst. We're fine."
"Oh—"
Subaru steeled his unsteady body and stood, about to dash from the tomb into the forest — when a somewhat exasperated young man's voice stopped him. Nearly stumbling, he stopped and turned around. Sitting on the stone steps of the tomb was Otto, raising his hand.
"Oh! Oh oh!?"
"I'm glad I could surprise you. Sorry for worrying you, but I think that goes both ways, so let's call it even—"
"Oraaa—!"
"Gyafuu—!?"
Confirming each other's safety, Otto wore a oddly satisfied grin. Subaru charged at him without reducing his momentum, leaping into a flying drop.
Caught between the stone steps and Subaru, Otto screamed.
"Ow! That hurts! My head's getting scraped against the stone — it hurts! I'm gonna go bald! This is the kind of pain that makes you go bald! Hey, Natsuki-san, what the hell do you think you're doing!?"
"Shut up, you idiot! Don't go acting all cool! You were giving off this whole 'I sure did a great job' vibe! Who asked you to do anything more than buy time?! My plan was this close to going completely to hell because of you! But without your help, I don't think I could've made it to beating Garfiel, so it's not like I'm not grateful!"
"I have no idea what you're saying anymore!!"
Tussling on the stone steps, Otto kicked Subaru away — unable to get a straightforward expression of gratitude out of him. Subaru rolled down the steps, landed on his rear, and stood with an "Ow, ow…"
"Well, bottom line, I'm glad you're okay. If you died, you'd probably show up standing next to my pillow being annoying."
"I don't know what kind of custom that's supposed to be, but more to the point — why can't you just lead with that kind of sentiment for once?"
"Don't praise me, it's me we're talking about!?"
"I know that!"
Subaru showed no remorse, and Otto wore a face that said he'd had enough of humoring him. He placed a hand on his forehead, then noticed Emilia, who had been silently watching their exchange.
"Ah, Lady Emilia. My apologies for neglecting you. Everything was Natsuki-san's fault, of course."
"Mm, I saw all that, so I know. It's fine."
"I don't have any allies on my side… Well, I know I only ended up in this mess because I was surrounded by allies, but — anyway, if you're safe, that means Ram's okay too, right?"
Emilia and Otto exchanged a glance and nodded. Subaru stuck his tongue out at them, then asked about the safety of their other unseen collaborator. Otto nodded.
"Of course. When I came to and found Ram-san, her condition had me scared witless, but it turned out not to be as bad as it looked, thankfully. She woke up while I was carrying her here to regroup and chewed me out pretty thoroughly…"
"I can imagine. She's really harsh to anyone who isn't family. …You know, I'm actually impressed you managed to win her over. How'd you do it?"
"That's one of the conditions for my cooperation — I can't tell you that, Natsuki-san."
Otto pressed a finger to his lips, signaling his refusal to speak.
Subaru pursued his lips in protest but quickly gave up pressing the issue, knowing Otto wouldn't bend on this.
If he were the type to crack under a little pressure, he never would have gone along with Subaru's near-suicidal schemes in the first place.
What a troublesome, stubborn, and genuinely good friend.
"You jerk."
"Ow! Why'd you just punch me!?"
"Shut up."
Ignoring Otto's complaint at the poke to his shoulder, Subaru turned back to Emilia. And beside her,
"Huh? Emilia-tan and Patrasche — when did you two get so close?"
"While you were asleep, quite a few things happened… and then this one saved me. He's a really, really good boy."
"He is, he is! My partner extraordinaire, honestly. Hey, Patrasche."
Subaru approached and reached out to stroke the dragon's back. But just before his fingertips could touch, the earth dragon twisted his body, dodging his hand— "Obu!?"
"————"
The swinging tail caught Subaru squarely in the rear, and he bounced up in half-tears from the pain. He turned a protesting gaze at Patrasche, but the earth dragon had narrowed his sharp eyes even further, lowering his head with an irritable growl.
"Do you need a translator?"
"No, even I can understand this without one."
He shook his head at Otto's concern behind him, and let out a small breath.
"—Don't worry me like that, got it?"
"And don't let it go to your head. There won't be a next time. Put yourself in my position. That's the level of anger where an add-on would be perfectly justified."
"Dude, what happened to your heroine energy? Are you entering the heroine race?"
With a wry smile, Subaru reached out again, and this time his fingers touched Patrasche's hard, scaly hide. The earth dragon closed his eyes and grudgingly accepted it — Subaru was endlessly grateful for the dragon's generosity.
Patrasche's crucial cooperation in the fight against Garfiel had been possible because she trusted Subaru enough to follow his lead without hesitation.
As always, he was powerless on his own, and every time he tried to scale a new mountain, he ended up owing debts to all sorts of people. Would the day ever come when he could settle all of them?
He wasn't confident, but he had no choice but to try.
"So, about the mountain you climbed despite racking up all those debts — where's Garfiel now?"
"Garfiel's been treated and he's over there. But it's probably better not to disturb him right now."
"Not disturb him?"
When Subaru tilted his head, Emilia placed a finger to her lips.
"Ram's watching over him right now — you know."
"Wake up, Garf."
When Garfiel opened his eyes, the face before him was a familiar one.
A face he wanted to see — and maybe didn't want to see — upon waking. It was complicated.
He couldn't deny that his heart had quickened ever so slightly. So Garfiel swallowed once before speaking.
"…Yeah… I'm awake."
"Good. Then get up already. My leg's gone numb from sitting here."
"Ngh!"
The moment understanding was achieved, Garfiel was released from the soft sensation as his head dropped to the ground. He hadn't expected gentle treatment, but being dismissed so coldly still stung.
Especially when your pride was already wounded, and it was the one person you cared about doing it.
Rubbing his head where it had hit the ground, Garfiel glared at Ram with resentful eyes. She was sitting sideways on the grass and, brushing off the spot where his head had been resting just moments ago, responded to his glare with an irritated "What?"
"It's not like anything, per se… But you're still the same as ever — not a shred of kindness in you."
"If someone is worth being kind to, and the situation calls for it, then Ram will be kind. The fact that I'm not being kind means neither of those conditions apply."
"…So I'm not worth it, huh?"
"You're so transparent about what you want me to say. That's exactly why Garfiel, just like Barusu, is hopeless. If you want to hear a woman's real feelings, you need to try harder."
The forehead that had drooped received a fierce flick from Ram's finger.
The spot she struck was right on top of the white scar that Garfiel instinctively touched whenever something was wrong. He touched the scar remaining on his forehead and let out a sigh.
"Come to think of it… you're the one who gave me this scar, weren't you?"
"——. Ram was fighting just as desperately to quell Garfiel's rampage. Smashing your face into cobblestones — do you think Ram enjoyed that kind of drastic remedy?"
"Pretty sure you were laughing your ass off when you beat the crap out of me today, though…"
"Ram has her own limited life. Rather than do something halfheartedly, it's more productive to convince herself it's fun and enjoy it. It's a desperate measure."
"And what about the mental scars of the guy on the receiving end while you're laughing, huh!?"
At Garfiel's words, Ram merely sighed with her usual bored expression.
Of course. She would never admit she was wrong, and she would never bend her iron will. Proud, dignified, unyielding, and resilient.
That was exactly why Garfiel longed for her existence and wanted her so fiercely.
"…Ram, you don't have any injuries left over, do you?"
"Who knows. Either way, the obvious ones were treated by Lady Emilia, but it may be impossible to avoid some scarring. How do you intend to take responsibility for making me damaged goods?"
"I'll take you as my wife—"
"You won't. Pay me back some other way. —Besides, for someone who lost, you're awfully cheeky. How dare you leave the defeated side behind and walk off like that."
"………"
Under Ram's sharp, prosecutorial gaze, Garfiel fell silent.
The anger in her eyes was directed at Garfiel's actions at the very end of the fight — where he had held back.
Not dealing the finishing blow to the collapsed Ram or to Otto, who had crashed headfirst into the bushes — that had been Garfiel's choice, and it may have stained his warrior's pride.
But even so, Garfiel couldn't bring himself to claw at her while she was unconscious. Even setting aside the fact that she was the one he loved, and all the other factors, he simply couldn't have done it.
Because he lacked the most important quality a warrior could have.
"That last move of yours… Ram's spell — you dodged it well."
"…It's not like I aimed to dodge it or anything. I just… when I was being beaten to a pulp and starting to transform back, I got a bad feeling. Before I could think, my body moved on its own. That's all it was."
The desperate final strike launched by Ram and Otto.
The instant he'd sensed the forest's mana converging and the maximum-tier wind spell activated, Garfiel abandoned all rational thought and surrendered entirely to his survival instincts to evade the blade of wind.
He dodged the invisible gale by sensing it pass within millimeters of his skin, and while continuing to perform acrobatic evasions, he fled the range of the all-clearing attack that would have mowed down every tree in sight.
When he'd accomplished all that and returned, there lay Ram and Otto, collapsed on the ground.
If Garfiel had been a true warrior, he would have proudly taken their lives as the spoils of survival. But for Garfiel, who could only cross that threshold by entrusting the act to the beast's blood within him, doing so was impossible.
"That's why… I'm—"
"————"
He was not a warrior. He'd only been playing at being one, putting on a brave front while being nothing but a fraud.
Even that fraud had stubbornly believed that with enough power, he could crush anything and protect what needed protecting without taking lives.
But that belief had been half-shattered.
He'd believed he had the strength to resist the flood of people from the outside world.
But in reality, Garfiel had been beaten by just three people — four, if you counted the earth dragon. And three of those were practically noncombatants, each for their own reasons.
If a true warrior came to the
—With his lacking brain, he'd been thinking about so, so many things.
During battle, between battles, he'd been constantly using a head that had never been good at circulating blood.
Where was the optimal solution? What was the best thing to do for everyone? Was there no option where nobody got hurt? And if someone had to get hurt — if it was only himself, that was fine.
The days he'd spent believing that and pushing forward had been nothing but a thin veneer to hide his weakness.
"Garf."
"………"
"I have one piece of advice for you from Ram. Listen closely."
"…Yeah."
He no longer had the energy to assert anything. Garfiel hung his head and tucked in his chin.
What words would Rainpour down on him from Ram — from the one he loved? She always hurled sharp words at him, but perhaps she had never truly pushed him away.
That was because she was genuinely soft-hearted toward family, and she had counted Garfiel, for all their long history, as one of them.
But this time, Ram had clearly opposed Garfiel. And if that was the case, he was probably no longer in that category.
So the words about to be delivered would be Ram's true farewell to Garfiel— "Garf… You're an idiot, so thinking is pointless. A waste of time. In other words, a waste of life."
"…Huh?"
"You said it yourself. When you stopped thinking and fought, you were able to dodge Ram's spell, right? That's exactly right. Garfiel, you didn't seem to realize it, but when you fight without thinking, you're much stronger. Way stronger with the idiot fully on display."
Not understanding what was being said one after another, Garfiel's eyes went wide.
He'd expected criticism, but he'd thought it would be aimed at an entirely different aspect.
"I'm not telling you to throw away your reason and transform. Let me be clear — transforming actually makes you weaker. Bigger target, sluggish movements — you're easy prey. Stay in human form, keep your eyes locked on your opponent, and fight without thinking."
"Wh-What the hell is that!? When did I ever…"
"This is important. —Because from now on, Garfiel, you're going to be fighting alongside Ram and Lady Emilia in all sorts of situations."
"—!!"
At the words thrown at him, Garfiel's throat was seized by overwhelming emotion.
His face flushed bright red as he bared his sharp canines.
"What the—! You cause all this trouble, stand against me, trample all over my plans… and then you're gonna forgive me and tell me to forgive you!?"
"Don't be ridiculous. I'm not forgiving you — I'm ordering you because I'm not forgiving you. If we forgave each other and put ourselves on equal footing, I'd have to ask you to lend us your help, wouldn't I? Don't be stupid. Ram and the others are the winners, Garfiel is the loser. And because Ram hasn't forgiven Garfiel, she can give him orders. Understand?"
"That's insane!"
Raising his voice, Garfiel bared his teeth and surged to his feet.
His body wavered for an instant, but most of his injuries had healed — there was no problem. The realization that he had been treated struck him, and a fresh wave of humiliation tore through his chest.
"I admit I lost! That's a fact! But there's a huge difference between admitting defeat and actually bowing down! I lost, I got beaten, I get it! But I'm still alive and kicking! If you were really planning to move forward without me, you should've just killed me right there! The fact that you couldn't do that means you're just as vulnerable as I am!"
"That would defeat the purpose entirely. We need Garfiel's strength, so killing him would make everything counterproductive."
"…That's why I'm—!"
"Stop whining!"
Before Garfiel could shout, Ram, who had risen to her feet, roared him down.
Her pale red eyes burned with fury as she glared up at him from directly below.
That ferocity made Garfiel shut his mouth reflexively.
"You lost. You lost, didn't you? Then accept defeat like a loser and obey the winner. How long are you going to keep whining with that pathetic loser mentality, making yourself more and more pathetic in front of the woman you love? You went from being other-blaming to self-blaming the moment you lost — the only thing that changed was whether you were barking outward or inward. How utterly stupid."
"Ugh…"
Her words hit so precisely that Garfiel couldn't find a follow-up.
He'd been pushing his problems onto others before the fight, and the moment he lost, he turned and pushed them onto his own weakness instead. It was proof that nothing had fundamentally changed — he was still barking in the direction he thought was weak.
He'd stopped barking outward at what he'd perceived as weak, and turned inward at what he was forced to concede was weak. That was all.
"Then what the hell am I supposed to do?! Just grin and line up on your side?! There's no way I can pull that off! I'm admitting I lost, sure… but I'm not admitting that you were right…!"
That was Garfiel's genuine feeling, with no evasion or excuse whatsoever.
He admitted he'd lost. The fact that they outnumbered him — that wasn't even worth discussing. He could go on endlessly about the reasons for his defeat.
The real issue was that deep in his heart, nothing had taken root to confirm that Barusu's argument was correct.
Fundamentally, the thoughts that had been festering and calcifying inside him all this time hadn't changed. Even if he was told to stand side by side and fight together, he couldn't just nod and say "yes, sure."
"How am I supposed to… from this half-assed situation…"
"If you hate being stuck halfway, then prove you're not standing still."
"…What did you say?"
Still breathing hard, Garfiel looked down at Ram.
She had returned her expression to its usual composure and was gazing straight up at him.
His own pathetic reflection stared back at him from those eyes.
He wanted to look away, but Ram's gaze wouldn't allow it.
"I don't know exactly what Barusu said, but I can more or less guess. So then, Garf — why don't you go and see for yourself?"
"I should… see for myself… what?"
"Whether Garfiel can change, or whether he's just going to stay crouching in place, a small child who can't move."
Garfiel finally understood what she was saying.
And the instant he grasped its meaning, a pounding heartbeat unlike anything before surged through him.
Cold sweat ran down his back and spread in an instant over his entire body.
His pulse raced. A ceaseless ringing echoed and reverberated through his skull.
The trauma that bound Garfiel's heart with thorned chains, inflicting abnormalities on every part of his body.
A chill. He turned around with a shudder, and there before him, the tomb stood in its unchanging grandeur.
—See for myself. In that place. What?
Even if he went in, what could be confirmed?
What different answer did Ram expect from him compared to the last time he'd been shown an unwanted past?
Nothing would change. Nothing could possibly change.
And yet, knowing that — why was he hesitating between "going" and "not going," rather than declaring "I won't go"?
"…What would I even find out in there?"
He was being played. Completely.
He didn't believe anything would change, and yet there he was, wanting to go see.
His body was rigid with terror, his heart was screaming in rejection — but Garfiel's soul was howling.
He wanted to confirm. He had to confirm.
Whether the assertions of the boy who had stood before him, coughing blood and screaming — Natsuki Subaru — had been correct.
Whether the time he'd lived until now had been the wrong way to live.
"You've got the look of someone who's made up his mind."
When he came to, the trembling in his teeth had stopped. His heartbeat had calmed.
The cold sweat that had soaked his entire body had vanished without a trace, and Garfiel silently turned back to Ram.
He didn't know what she expected from him, or what she was trying to push him toward.
Perhaps, at the bottom of it all, Ram didn't particularly care whether Garfiel joined their side.
After such a long association, some things he understood dimly.
What Ram truly wanted wasn't for Garfiel to stand beside them.
It was something before that — for Garfiel to reach a conclusion about how to live. Everything after that was secondary.
What a wonderful, generous woman she was.
"Well, it'll be fine, Garf."
Perhaps mistaking Garfiel's silence for anxiety, Ram spoke with a rare hint of warmth in her voice, lightly patting his exposed shoulder.
"If you've been through something so terrifying you want to cry, Ram will comfort you. —For old times' sake, of course."