"What I want you to do is simple. If a doctor or orderly comes by for rounds after I leave, just pretend you're asleep." Zuo Han held no great expectations for Chen Ge. "Don't say a single word extra. No matter what he asks you, just say you don't know."
"That's it?"
"Yeah. Also, remember to let me back in when I return." Zuo Han lay down on his hospital bed, paying Chen Ge no more mind.
About ten minutes later, Zuo Han glanced at Chen Ge, then got up and walked to the ward door.
He quietly cracked the door open a sliver, saw the corridor was empty, and slipped straight out.
"This man is paranoid. His symptoms really do resemble persecution delusions." Chen Ge sat up on his bed. "Should I help him?"
He didn't need to think hard; Chen Ge could already sense that Zuo Han's departure tonight wasn't merely to investigate the hospital. It was also a test for him.
He didn't trust Zuo Han, and Zuo Han didn't fully trust him either. In the eyes of someone with persecution delusions, the entire world was dangerous, full of potential enemies.
Maintaining his original posture, Chen Ge sat by the bed for another ten minutes or so. Zuo Han still hadn't returned.
He looked at the door left ajar, dragged his plaster-cast leg over, and slowly made his way to the ward entrance.
Pulling the door open, Chen Ge peered out. The hospital corridor wasn't pitch black; lights were on at the corridor corner and the nurses' station.
"Completely different from how I remember a hospital. Could that eerie, dark midnight hospital really have been my imagination?"
Chen Ge had now learned to master a certain balance. He wouldn't delve too deeply into any question. As long as he didn't trigger past memories, his brain wouldn't send that feeling of being torn apart.
"When I recall what happened during the day, I don't feel a headache. But when I try to remember what happened before I passed out, that pain suddenly attacks. That in itself is very strange."
"What do those old memories truly mean to me? Why does even thinking about them make me hurt?"
Having taken a large dose of medication, his body was incredibly weak, and he was still tormented by pain. Yet even in this state, Chen Ge maintained his capacity for independent thought.
"To some extent, Zuo Han and I are quite alike. He thinks everyone in the world is out to get him; I think everyone is lying to me. Are we really sick?"
To have symptoms so similar to a psychiatric patient's was indirectly suggesting that he himself might also be a patient.
"The fact that I can realize I might be ill means I still have insight. My insight hasn't diminished... Insight?" The three words that popped inexplicably into his mind left Chen Ge momentarily stunned. "Why am I so familiar with the word 'insight'? It seems incredibly important to me. I need insight! I need something that possesses insight!"
Pain crashed over him like a tide. Chen Ge seemed to have triggered another old memory. Countless memory fragments within his mind smashed together, the pain nearly making him faint.
Chen Ge gripped the bed railing tightly with both hands, clenching his teeth.
Blood seeped from between his teeth, but he still didn't make a sound.
"Why does the word 'insight' leave such a deep impression on me?!"
His consciousness began to blur. If he continued thinking, it wouldn't just be a headache; he might pass out outright.
Taking a deep breath, Chen Ge tried his best to calm down. Following the breathing method Doctor Gao had taught him, he tried several times, and the pain in his brain finally eased.
In just a few minutes, Chen Ge's back was soaked with cold sweat, and his body felt even weaker.
"If I faint, will the other me appear? Can I talk to him?"
Just as Chen Ge was about to return to his own bed, footsteps suddenly sounded in the corridor.
"Zuo Han walks silently. It must be an orderly."
Chen Ge remembered Zuo Han's words. He lay down on the bed and pretended to be asleep. After about ten seconds, the footsteps stopped at the ward door.
Eyes narrowed, Chen Ge stared at the door. He wasn't nervous; he didn't feel any unease at all. It was only then that he realized his psychological fortitude was absurdly strong.
*Knock.*
Someone tapped lightly on the door, and then the footsteps sounded again as the person outside left.
"What's the meaning of this? Coming over at three or four in the morning just to knock once and then leave? Is this some orderly's prank?"
The person outside hadn't entered, and this was precisely what confused Chen Ge the most: "Who knocked? An orderly? Zuo Han? A doctor? Or another patient in the hospital?"
A while later, the ward door was pushed open, and Zuo Han walked in with a cold face.
"Did it go smoothly?"
"This hospital is huge, a general hospital. The third ward we're in is just a tiny part of it." Zuo Han walked over to Chen Ge's bed and used his hand to indicate. "If the hospital were a pillow, we're about in this corner."
"Do you have confidence you can escape?" This was the point Chen Ge cared more about. That inexplicable knock just now had given him a sense of urgency, as if staying here longer would lead to something even worse.
"No." Zuo Han's answer was blunt. "There are cameras installed at the corridor entrances. This building of ours has three orderlies and two nurses watching around the clock. The main gate to leave the hospital grounds is locked, too, and no one knows who has the key."
"The key?" The mention of the word "key" sent a flash of lightning through Chen Ge's mind, like a drowning man suddenly grasping a straw. "I need a key!"
"Right. Without a key, we can't possibly get out." Zuo Han felt Chen Ge's tone was strange. He didn't continue talking to Chen Ge and returned to his own bed.
"Aren't you going to sleep?" Chen Ge noticed Zuo Han was still fully dressed and shod, lying on his side with no intention of sleeping whatsoever.
"I don't want to die in my sleep." Zuo Han closed his eyes. He kept one hand tucked into his shirt front, the palm seemingly concealing something.
A knife? Probably not. More likely something sharp he'd gotten from outside?
According to the doctor, Zuo Han was a patient with severe persecution delusions. Having such a dangerous individual, holding an unidentified object, sharing a ward with him was a terrifying thought.
Reason told Chen Ge he should be afraid, but honestly, his heart felt no turmoil whatsoever.
Finding a comfortable position, Chen Ge closed his eyes and fell asleep.
...
The sound of a door opening. Chen Ge slowly opened his eyes. The morning light from outside the window fell upon him. He stretched contentedly.
"This kind of life isn't bad. As long as I don't recall those awful memories, I look no different from a normal person."