The morning after the person who claimed to be me from the future showed up.
I sat thinking with a sleep-deprived, foggy head.
What should I do first?
The future me had said:
"Consult Nanahoshi." "Send a letter to Eris." "Doubt Hitogami, but don't make an enemy of him."
I'd already written the letter to Eris.
It was, tentatively, a message saying I was willing to accept her.
But I wouldn't send it until I'd consulted Sylphie and Roxy first.
Depending on what they said, I might have to change the content entirely.
Doubt Hitogami, but don't oppose him.
I'd declare this the next time Hitogami showed up in my dreams.
I didn't know when that would be.
Consulting Nanahoshi.
I wanted to consult her, but would she believe such an outrageous story?
No, she'd been through enough weird stuff herself.
Even an outrageous story should be something she could accept, given what she'd been through.
But before that—the diary.
I decided to read the diary.
I couldn't just ignore it and move on to other things.
This diary was the trail left by that old man.
The diary the future me had brought was worn and aged, its earliest pages faded and tattered.
But it was still readable.
I skipped the unimportant parts and picked out the entries that mattered.
-----
■
Starting today, I think I'll keep a diary.
These past ten days have been quite eventful.
Perugius, Zenith.
Summoning magic, transfer magic.
There's so much to do—I'll write things down so I don't forget.
■
Aisha was in a funk all morning because "a weird mouse died."
Does she hate mice?
■
Apparently, a cat with Magic Stone Disease was found in the neighborhood.
That's terrifying.
I'll tell the family to be diligent about washing their hands and rinsing their mouths.
■
Apparently, Elinalise is pregnant.
Cliff looked anxious, but Elinalise seemed happy about it.
We all congratulated them, just to be safe.
This is the kind of occasion you should celebrate loudly.
-----
Entries up to this point were pretty normal diary stuff.
Getting Perugius to teach him summoning magic, touring the artwork in the flying fortress with Zanoba, discovering Roxy's weak spot in bed, Lucy's sleeping face looking like an angel—she'd definitely be a beauty when she grew up.
Every day seemed like so much fun.
At first, dates were written, but they stopped partway through. Maybe he got tired of it.
Because of that, I couldn't tell how many days had passed, but based on what the old man had said, it was probably within two weeks.
But from here, things change.
------
■
Roxy collapsed.
She'd been saying she wasn't feeling well lately, and finally she developed a fever.
I'll contact the school and let them know she'll be away for a while.
I tried everything up to Advanced Detoxification, but nothing worked.
Is it another incurable disease?
I should have Cliff look at her as soon as possible.
■
The tips of Roxy's fingers began turning into purple crystals.
I called Cliff right away and had him examine her with his Identification Eye.
The diagnosis: "Magic Stone Disease."
An incurable illness that can only be cured by God-class detoxification magic.
■
To obtain the detoxification incantation, we decided to use the transfer magic circle to head to the Millis Sacred Country.
The team would be me, Cliff, and Zanoba.
Sylphie wanted to come too, but I asked her to watch the house.
■
We arrived in Millis.
The God-class incantation was apparently kept in the back of the Grand Cathedral.
Cliff seemed to know where it was, but it was in a restricted area only accessible to Archbishop-level clergy and above.
So we'd have to sneak in at night.
We just had to copy the incantation and get back out.
■
The infiltration went well.
But I never imagined that the God-class detoxification incantation would be in a single book as thick as a dictionary.
Copying it on the spot was impossible.
I took the book, but we were discovered during our escape.
Currently being pursued.
■
We were ambushed at the transfer magic circle.
In the ensuing battle, the transfer magic circle was damaged and rendered unusable.
Cliff took a hit from poison and collapsed—he's unconscious and in critical condition.
...This is the first time I've killed someone.
The feeling still lingers in my hand.
It's revolting.
Damn it.
■
We decided to move to another magic circle.
Cliff still hasn't regained consciousness.
Our faces are all over the Millis Sacred Country—we're wanted criminals.
We've apparently made an enemy of the entire Millis Church.
■
Cliff died.
I don't want to write anything for a while.
■
Somehow, we made it to another transfer magic circle.
Just a little more.
■
It was too late.
I don't want to write anything today.
■
I'll write about yesterday.
At the town entrance, I ran into Eris and Geerene. Eris was ranting about something, but when I told her I already had two wives and couldn't be with her anymore, she looked stunned and left.
The last thing I saw was Geerene's contemptuous gaze. Unpleasant.
When I got home, everyone had somber faces.
Roxy had crystallized half her body and was dead.
The incantation was all for nothing.
After that, I told Elinalise about Cliff's death.
She slapped me across the cheek, then ran off somewhere in tears.
Helpless.
■
We held Roxy's funeral.
I have no motivation for anything.
All that comes are tears.
Nothing matters anymore.
■
Elinalise apparently disappeared from the town.
She was heavily pregnant—where could she have gone?
Well, whatever.
■
Sylphie's been trying to cheer me up, but my heart won't clear.
Roxy is gone.
That Roxy.
The Roxy who tried so hard at everything.
The Roxy who got me out of the house, who comforted me so gently when Paul died.
The Roxy who became my compass.
(The paper was wrinkled with tear stains)
■
Lately, I feel like all I do is drink.
If I'm not drunk, I think about Roxy and start crying.
Sylphie says I need to stop, but what could she possibly know?
Roxy taught me something so important.
■
At home, Lilia started nagging me about my drinking.
So I started drinking outside.
At the pub, Eris occasionally picks fights with me.
She says whatever she wants, then punches me.
What is wrong with that woman?
And Geerene—why doesn't he stop her?
Also, Norn hasn't been speaking to me lately. She just looks at me with contempt.
Nobody understands how I feel.
■
Lately, Sylphie's been overtly coming on to me.
She says things like "hold me and forget about Roxy..."
She was so persistent that I ended up shouting at her.
How could I possibly hold her after she said something so thoughtless?
But it's more than that.
If I held Sylphie now, I'd treat her terribly and roughly.
As a replacement for Roxy, and as a target for my frustration.
That's... I don't think that's right.
■
I messed up.
While drinking at the pub, a prostitute approached me.
The alcohol gave me courage, and I took her to an inn.
Being a professional, she was extremely skilled, naturally.
How should I put it... the women I'd been with until now were really just girls in comparison...
No, that's not important.
The problem is that I made Sylphie cry.
She smelled the other woman on me when I got home, and said, "Why... why isn't it enough to be me?" then ran to her room in tears.
Lilia lectured me, and even Aisha made no effort to hide her disgust.
I can still hear her sobbing behind the door.
I knocked, but there was no answer.
I messed up.
She might have wanted me to use her roughly—to pour out my grief on her, no matter how painful.
Tomorrow, I'll apologize.
■
Sylphie won't speak to me.
What am I going to do?
If only Elinalise were here at a time like this...
■
Sylphie is gone.
When I woke up in the morning, her room was empty.
To be precise, only the clothes and accessories I'd given her remained.
Lilia ordered me to go after her immediately.
But do I have the right to chase her?
She divorced me—I'm exactly the kind of man she should leave.
■
While I was agonizing over this, Zenith slapped my cheek.
She didn't say anything, but she slapped me over and over.
As if to stop me from wallowing in self-pity.
■
I decided to chase after Sylphie.
When I gathered information, it turned out Sylphie had left with Ariel for the Kingdom of Asura.
She still had months before graduation—why the sudden departure?
I didn't know the reason, but something must have happened in the Asura homeland.
I decided to hurry as well.
■
I ran into Eris again.
She said something about how she'd forgive me now—something completely incomprehensible.
When I didn't listen, she suddenly punched me.
I'd had enough, so I knocked her back with magic. She drew her sword and charged, so I ran.
Eris... you were the one who dumped me, so why now...
■
I was stranded by snow.
Had Sylphie already passed through the heavy snow zone?
Anxiety crept in.
■
I arrived in the Kingdom of Asura.
But to my trouble, I was stopped at the border.
As a wanted man by the Millis Church, I was apparently treated as a criminal in Asura as well.
I was nearly detained and fled in a panic.
I had to find a way to sneak into the country somehow.
■
I managed to make contact with the Thieves' Guild.
Organizations like this exist everywhere, don't they?
I turned out to be quite the topic among thieves—they looked at me with envy.
The hot new thief who stole a God-class incantation from the Millis Sacred Country.
When I explained my situation, a sultry female thief named Tris offered to guide me through the territory.
My only worry was that being with a woman like this might give Sylphie the wrong idea.
■
I entered the Kingdom of Asura.
To hide my face, I put on a hood and a mask.
From today, my name was Rude Ronumar, and I had the backstory that a curse caused anyone who saw my bare face to turn to stone.
Ronumar was a magician who'd come to Basherant to earn money, being guided by his cousin Tris.
She'd thought all this through for me. I was grateful.
■
I received word that the king was on his deathbed.
There were also rumors that the princes were fighting over who would take his place.
This must be why Ariel had cut her return short.
■
Almost at the capital now.
But whenever it came to Ariel, all I heard were suspicious-sounding rumors.
That she was gathering troops to stage a coup, and so on.
According to public opinion, there was no chance of her winning.
Well, Ariel wasn't stupid enough for that.
Just rumors.
■
I reached the capital.
While I was sitting in a pub, having left the information-gathering to Tris, I spotted Eris.
Had she followed me all this way?
No, that wasn't it.
Her hometown was originally in the Kingdom of Asura.
She must have been heading the same direction all along.
■
Ariel had apparently vanished.
Naturally, that meant Luke and Sylphie too.
Would I be able to find them?
■
I couldn't find them.
According to Tris's prediction, they'd already left the capital for another town.
Somewhere Ariel would go... Luke's family estate, perhaps?
Tomorrow, I'd have Tris suggest going to the territory governed by the Notos family.
■
We arrived in the Milbotts territory, governed by Pilemon Notos Greyrat.
I also picked up information that Ariel was apparently being sheltered by the Notos family.
But how would I get to see Sylphie?
Should I try breaking in?
■
When I infiltrated the Notos estate, Eris was inexplicably there, and she beat me senseless.
I was captured and thrown into the dungeon, where a man calling himself Pilemon—who looked strikingly like Paul—verbally abused me.
Apparently, they thought I was trying to seize the Notos estate.
He said he'd have me executed the next day and hand my head over to the Millis Church, then left.
I managed to escape afterward, but... Pilemon's mansion didn't house Ariel.
■
A coup broke out in the capital.
The rumor about "Ariel being in the Milbotts territory" had been a decoy.
Ariel had been hiding in the capital all along, waiting for the right moment.
Would I make it in time?
■
One day from the capital, I received word that the coup had been suppressed.
In her reckless attempt to simultaneously assassinate the first and second princes, Ariel had been intercepted by the Water God and the Northern Emperor—who happened to be serving as sword masters at just that moment—and her forces were wiped out.
Ariel was captured and would reportedly be executed at a later date.
Her forces were wiped out.
Wiped out...
What about Sylphie...?
■
............I can't take this anymore.
How did things end up like this...?
■
I'll write about the other day.
In an execution square in a corner of the capital, the bodies of Ariel's forces were displayed.
Among them were Luke and... Sylphie.
Sylphie's body was missing one arm, with a large sword wound across her face.
Several people were throwing stones.
Throwing stones at Sylphie as a criminal who'd disrupted the peace of the capital.
Every time a stone was thrown, the crows that had been pecking at the corpses took flight.
I couldn't take it anymore, so I burned Sylphie and the others with fire magic.
Anyone who tried to stop me, I burned too.
This country could go to hell.
-----
I closed the diary with a snap.
It was painful to read.
I didn't want to read anymore.
Did I really have to read this?
Why was I even reading something like this...?
"Ugh..."
I felt sick.
This had to be the old man's delusional fiction.
It had to be.
I didn't even want to consider that such a future was possible.
"..."
But I had to read it.
Knowing about it would surely give me strength.
I looked at the diary, but I couldn't bring myself to open it again.
I felt sick.
What kind of painful things were written ahead in that diary?
Just thinking about it made my stomach churn.
"Let me... rest a little..."
I stood up from the chair and left the room for the bathroom.
I threw up.
Tears streamed down my face.
Because the text was written by me, I was able to vividly imagine how I'd felt at each moment.
The grief when Roxy died.
The panic and resignation when Sylphie left.
The desperation of chasing after her.
And the sense of loss when I saw Sylphie's corpse.
"Ugh..."
I buried my face in the toilet bowl and vomited everything I could.
My stomach was completely empty.
But I had no appetite.
I wouldn't need to eat today.
I rinsed my mouth with water magic and stepped out, and Sylphie was standing there, looking worried.
"R-Rudy. What's wrong? Are you okay?"
White hair reaching her shoulders, casual clothes with a slightly relaxed guard.
Her face scarred, her arm missing, killed, left cold, put on display.
The image of all that flashed through my mind...
"Wha—what?"
Without a word, I pulled Sylphie into a hug.
Her body was soft and warm.
"Rudy, are you still dwelling on that fight with Atofe?"
"...Yeah."
"Oh well... There, there. Whenever it's tough, I'll always be here to comfort you, okay? I know perfectly well that you're not that strong, you know?"
Sylphie stretched up on her toes a bit and gently patted my back.
*Whenever it's tough, I'll always be here to comfort you.*
The future me had ignored these words.
"Yeah. Sylphie, I'm sorry."
"It's okay."
"There might be times when I'm going through something really hard, and I can't rely on Sylphie, and I say mean things..."
"Hmm..."
"But please don't leave."
"Well... in that case, I might get a little irritated and be cold to you too, and we might fight... but we can always make up, right?"
"Yeah. Of course we can. Yeah, we can always make up..."
Sylphie was so kind.
And I was going to betray this kind-hearted girl.
"Um, Rudy. Your hand on my butt is getting a little... inappropriate."
"...Can I not touch?"
"It's not like it'll disappear, so I guess it's fine... Wha—"
Permission granted, so I picked Sylphie up.
Destination: the bedroom.
I wasn't planning on doing anything sexual.
I just wanted to be alone together, being affectionate.
How should I put it—I wanted to recover something I'd lost.
I wasn't entirely sure.
Reading that diary must have put me in a sentimental mood.
That's what I thought as I received my therapy from Sylphie.
---
After Roxy returned.
I stuck to her like glue.
I sat down next to her on the sofa and fiddled with the end of her braid.
"Is something the matter?"
She didn't say a word until I was just sitting there fidgeting beside her.
"Um, Roxy. Could we talk for a bit?"
"We talk all the time... Or did you have something special in mind?"
"No, I mean something more... cuddly."
"Hmm... Well, I suppose so, but not today, okay?"
"Sure. I just want to be close to you—is that so wrong?"
"It's not forbidden."
Roxy climbed onto my lap and rested her head against my shoulder.
I held her shoulder and we gazed at each other from up close.
That said, I was the one who'd asked to talk, but I didn't actually have a topic prepared.
"So, how was your day?"
"Nothing special, really. Just the usual... The principal's wig got knocked off by a student prank, I suppose."
"Ah, I would've liked to see that."
"And then—"
Roxy had been working hard all day and was tired.
Even so, she made time for me.
We chatted about trivial things and giggled together, and when I casually tried to stroke her hip, I got a light slap on the hand.
But I said I wanted to stay close to her, and Roxy let me with a "Well, I suppose I can't help it."
After that, we bathed together and I washed her back, gave her a shoulder massage.
I doted on Roxy like a child.
"Today's Rudy is a little unusual. Did something upsetting happen?"
"No, no, nothing like that. I'm just reconfirming how happy I am that Roxy's alive and well."
"I see... Well, in the Teleportation Labyrinth, I really thought I might die, so feel free to confirm as much as you like."
Roxy said this while sitting on my knees in the bath.
I kneaded her slender shoulders and asked:
"Roxy, have you noticed any changes in your health lately?"
I'd avoided the Magic Stone Disease.
Or so I thought—but there was no guarantee that eliminating that mouse would keep her safe.
The future me's research findings might be wrong.
"Hm? I'm perfectly fine. Why do you ask?"
"Well, I really want Roxy to live a long, long life."
"If we think in terms of racial lifespans, I'll live longer than you, Rudy. You should be the one worrying about living long."
"Of course."
When I said that, Roxy smiled happily.
At least for now, she seemed fine.
---
Sylphie and Roxy.
Both of them were still alive.
It wouldn't end up like that diary.
I would absolutely prevent it.
With that resolve, I found the willpower to read the diary again.
Resolution complete.