"Wouldn't it be nice if nothing happens from here on out?"
"Don't say stuff like that."
"No, I really mean it from the bottom of my heart..."
Just then, the door bell jingled and someone pushed open the café door and walked inside.
How rare — a customer, perhaps?
"Master Sharl, Mr. Grandal was assassinated at his home."
It was a report from one of Sharl's subordinates.
"See, here it comes. That's what you get for saying stuff like that."
"That's strange, wasn't Grandal"
"devoted to doing good deeds"
"or something like that?"
"It seems he stopped bribing nobles, and that was the cause."
"Ah, I see. Hmm, what should we do? Going all the way to Grandal's place is going to be a bit of a hassle, though..."
I'd been listening to the report from Sharl's subordinates off to the side, and after thinking for a moment, I cast a spell right then and there.
"'Resurrection.'"
Somewhere in the capital, a pillar of light shoots up into the sky.
"That should do it."
I used Perfect Search to pinpoint Grandal's location and cast a resurrection spell remotely, targeting that spot.
He should be alive again by now.
Get to work.
After a little while, the café door bell jingled again.
"Terrible news! Grandal, who was supposed to have died at home, has come back to life! A crowd of onlookers and guards have swarmed his residence!"
Another of Shaal's subordinates rushed in and delivered the report.
"Ah... well, it should be fine. Grandal is a capable merchant, after all. He'll manage to smooth things over somehow... right?"
"Haah... I'll say no more."
◇◇◇
Going all the way to the scene to resurrect him would have been a hassle, so I tried casting it remotely. Glad it worked out.
Hoorah for laziness.
And then the next day.
"Master Shaal! Grandal has been assassinated again!"
"It's barely been a day."
"Remote Resurrection!"
◇◇◇
The next day.
"Master Shaal! Grandal has again—"
"From now on, report that kind of thing directly to Alan."
"...Yes, sir. Lord Alan, Grandal was found poisoned to death at his residence."
"Remote Resurrection!"
Look, even if I can do it on the side, having to do this every single day is getting really tedious.
So damn tedious.
◇◇◇
"Grandal, you said you wouldn't pay tribute to Count Merita here! Did I hear you wrong? Who do you think's been protecting your shop?!"
A man with a vertical scar running across his left eye barked threateningly.
The man—Count Merita himself—had summoned Grandal to his estate.
Grandal didn't seem to have any money; all he'd brought along was a single boy.
"Lord Merita, I no longer need protection for my shop. I would like the tribute money to be put to good use for the poor instead. Please, understand."
Grandal, with his dead-fish eyes, spouted something saintly.
"You think I can understand that?! You're someone who's steeped in the dark world, same as us! Don't think you can wash your hands of it now. Come on, let's stay"
"on"
"good"
"terms"
"like before, yeah~?"
The boy standing beside Grandal interjected.
"Grandal already said he doesn't want to. Cut it out."
"What'd you say, you little brat?! You wanna die?!"
"It's annoying because you guys keep pulling assassinations and whatnot. Look, Grandal's gonna work for free for everyone until his lifespan runs out, so just deal with it."
"Don't talk such boring crap. Grandal is"
"one"
"of us"
For
your
sake
I
work
for free, and I always have, and always will — right? Right, my eternal friend Grandal? You little shit, I don't know who the hell you are, but you're in the way. Die!"
And with a jerk of my chin, I signaled for the men to finish off the brat.
But my men didn't move.
"Hey! What the hell are you doing?! Kill this little bastard who's trying to tear us apart!"
The instant I finished speaking, my men's upper halves slid clean off.
I looked at the brat — he'd already sheathed his sword.
"Godspeed Draw. A secret technique of the Sword God. You didn't see a thing, did you?"
"Too good for the likes of you, Grandal," the brat muttered.
This brat's eyes... They were completely vacant — like he was just mindlessly going through the motions of some tedious chore.
Had I picked a fight with the wrong person?
So Grandal was broke because he'd hired someone this skilled?
Oh no — my body won't move either...
The ground is getting closer...
Count Melta, who had likewise been sliced clean in two without ever knowing it, lost consciousness still clinging to some absurd misunderstanding.
◇◇◇◇◇◇
Skills: [Reverse] [Divine Eye] [Sword God] [Fist God] [Spear God] [Scorching Magic] [Freezing Ice Magic] [Clear Gale Magic] [Rock Iron Magic] [Holy Magic] [Dark Magic] [Spacetime Magic] [Thunder God Sword] [Phantom Thief Gentleman] [Ninja Master] [Seeker of Truth] [Monstrous Power] [Swift Runner] [Pain Dulling] [Complete Status Ailment Resistance] [Dark Spirit's Protection] [Super Intuition] [Heaven's Gate] [Abyssal Contractee] [Magic Hand] [Treasure Search] [Temptation] [Incitement] [Telemesmerism] [Eloquence] [Great Fortune] [Tenfold Growth Speed] [Growth Limit Breakthrough]
Rank: Orichalcum
Thank you for reading!